Untouched
by Yukage
Summary: The beginning of the love that should never have happened. The beginning of the love that I don't regret, even now. The beginning of the series of events that change our lives. ZY/XQ SC/DQ Chap 18: Sweet Confessions & Bittersweet Misunderstandings
1. Prelude

**Hi everyone, welcome to my fic: Untouched.**

**This work is strictly fiction, drawing from elements of the game Dynasty Warriors, very limited historic references and customs that I've picked up from dramas. In short, it is 'unrealistic' to say the very least and does not in any way represent events that actually happened. Come on, you must be really desperate if you're asking Yuu here for a history lesson XD**

**Before you quickly skip to the new chapters I am happy to say that the entire series is going through some c-c-c-changes! After a lot of thought, Yuu has finally completed 'Rebuild of Untouched'. (LOL blatant plagiarising Evangelion!)**

**I know I should be writing the newer chapters, but the more I re-read this, the more I think "Good lord! This is *insert words that would make Ame pale*"**

**I decided, since it's common knowledge that Yuu here cannot write in third person, why not re-write this in good old fashion first person perspective? A brilliant plan if I do say so myself~~**

**And keeping with the good old Yukage tradition, why not make this a super long chapter? **

**That's two for two, Yuu.**

**I swear this time I actually tried to enforce a 6000 word cap. Tried. It just didn't work. I just have this incapability of writing short chapters. So Yuu came with a perfect solution: break it into smaller chapters. The first two chapters are now broken into 3, with the remaining two still a work in progress…**

**Anyhow, the additions contain sap, more sap and WOW holy moley it's sap over load! You have been warned. And no, you cannot teach an old dog new tricks: Yuu is still spewing crap (and will continue to do so happily) in the authors notes!**

**Enjoy the first instalment of 'Untouched'.**

**Disclaimer: Don't own.**

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**Untouched – the Prelude**

Fate.

It writes the chapters of our lives.

It determines the endings of our stories.

Fate.

It is shaped by the actions we take, the words we say.

From the first words we say to our loved ones that did not come out the way we had intended, to the last words we said that we did not know at the time. Words that plunged us into regret. Unspoken words that danced on the rim of our lips. Words we did not have the courage to say. The redundant words we say daily, that we never thought it could adequately describe our real feelings. The same words that never loses its meaning, the words we never grow sick of hearing.

Words are opened to interpretation, and interpretation of words could have infinite possibilities, each creating different paths.

Words could heal, but at the same time, words could hurt someone.

Words can be fatal.

Words can never be taken back.

Words killed someone very important to me.

Cold words that he did not mean drove her to do what is right, what she thought was right. He hadn't intended that she would do that. I know that if he had known the consequences of his words, he would take them back. Righteous words that the boy said sealed their fate. Although his words would end up saving millions of lives, he had single handily destroyed their only chance at love.

If I had a chance I would go back and ask the Heavens, why?

Why did it have to end this way?

Why me? Why her? Why him?

Why did it happen to us?

What did we do to deserve this?

It is only with hindsight that I can begin to understand everything and try to accept it all. I now understand why Father would glare at me with hateful eyes; why every beat my heart gave, every breath I took, was an insult to him. I now understand why Father hated every inch of me, right down to the colour and shape of my eyes to the blood that ran through my veins.

I now understand the guilt behind her kindness, the pain of regret and the meaning of her words as she bade goodbye to me for the last time.

I now understand why he chose to give up his life for me, why the boy chose to give his lover up, and why she chose to accept it all.

I now understand that I love you, that you are truly my world, my everything, and that you have loved me back with the same undying passion.

Even so, living is indeed a great big riddle. There were so many answers I wanted answers to.

Why is it that people fall in love? Why is it that people find their one and only, the one for them and only them, only to lose that person?

Why is it that a person could be the right person for someone, but show up at the wrong time? Why is it that the wrong person could be so right?

Why…why did we lose to fate?

Fate.

Fate has its way of affecting all of us. For better or for worse.

In my reflection I have decided that Fate is merciful, yet cruel. Fate had given me you, and yet Fate had taken you away from me. Fate had brought her into my life, but Fate had cut that time short. Fate had brought them together, only to destroy them completely. Fate played a trick on her; Fate let her realise just important he was, at a time when he was forced to abandon her.

I wish…

I wish Fate was wrong.

I wish I could have done things differently.

I wish I treasured our time together more.

I wish I hadn't done a lot of the things I did.

And now, I will walk the path of regret.

With you.

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**Let the speculation begin!**

**Alright, as the remaining chapters are still a work in process, Prelude does not connect directly onto Da Qiao's Chapter…sigh. I promise I post chapters 1 and 2 as soon as I can!**


	2. The Evanescence of the Dearly Beloved

Whoot! Yukage is proud to present to you: Chapter Two of The Rewrite!

It's a lot shorter than the chapters of late...but I still hope you will enjoy the read!

**Disclaimer:** Yuu owns nothing.

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**The Evanescence of the Dearly Beloved**

**Zhou Yu's Perspective **

Life.

So merciless. So cruel.

Yet so beautiful when she was near.

Death.

So comforting. So inviting.

Yet so miserable with and without her.

Xiao.

My one. My only. My world. My everything.

My wife.

The one who has given me so much happiness, so much hope, but at the same time, so much pain.

Xiao.

My greatest strength but also my one weakness in this world.

She was the reason I was born, but will she become the reason for my destruction?

Were the happy days we shared only a falsified reality? An untruthful dream?

Was it truly the Heaven's will that we shall be together?

"Xiao…"

Adrenaline pumped in my veins, seeping through every fibre of my battered and fatigued body. With a loud crash that rippled through the once silent room, the pathetic obstacle that once separated me from my beloved fell cleanly off its hinge, showering the carpet with broken pieces of paper and bamboo. I looked around.

No sign of her.

Another empty room. The twentieth empty room. The blue and gold tapestry taunted me, telling me what I already know, what I dreaded. The rich ornaments mocked at me, telling me that my goal was so close, yet so far away. Every minute I wasted means another minute Xiao is in this god-forsaken despair filled labyrinth. Alone and unprotected.

Heaven and Hell is truly a breath's away. The Bronze Bird Pavilion – Paradise for men, Hell for its captives.

What should I do?

Moving forward means accepting that Xiao may no longer be in this world. Going on means I may find proof that the Heaven has taken Xiao away from me. Staying where I am means never finding out where Xiao is.

I know she is here, somewhere within this maze of corridors. And I know she is in danger.

Wanting to vent the frustration and agitation somehow, I swung my sword around, the clatter and chimes of broken china like a choir around me. I was only vaguely aware that this was supposed to be a secret reconnaissance mission. When I opened my eyes again, I prayed, for the ten thousand millionth time, that this was a dream, that I would be back home, and that Xiao would be home with me, where she belonged.

But what I saw was carnage. Absolute Carnage. Carnage that I had inflicted myself. Again.

What would she say if she knew?

"Xiao…"

I have seen her scared, no, more than that. She was terrified, and the memory still ignites the burning feeling of agitation. The last trigger for this fear was also the fearsome Northern Lord. It was on our wedding night. Under the red veil, Xiao was crying. The demon the plagued her for so long had also decided to torment her on what should be the happiest day of her life. It was a sight I never wanted to see again.

I paled. The thought of my beloved wife, crying and struggling against the hands of the merciless Lord Cao Cao, was enough to make me, the once proud strategist of the mighty Kingdom of Wu double over in pain.

Why did I let her out of my sight?

I looked at my palm, hopelessly wishing that I did not let go of her. Why did I put my work before her? What was going through my mind at the time? I would give anything: fortune, title of being Wu's renowned strategist, even my life, to turn back time.

We have come such long way to achieve what we had. I felt reborn. I was a changed man. My past, though haunting every fibre of my body, was all but forgotten. They were all a memory – they can't hurt me. Every moment she was near even the blood seeped memories seem trivial, meaningless almost. Every sin I have committed, every life I have taken, whether justified or not, she made them all go away. And she was finally able to open up in front of people, drop the Lady Xiao Qiao façade, and be herself. This was quite a feat as the only other person she smiled in front of, truly smiled in front of, was her sister Da Qiao.

And now, I have lost that beautiful smile forever.

I can never forgive myself. Even if I were to find her, have her safely in my arms again, it cannot erase this unforgiveable sin I have committed – I have all but killed her.

Muffled sounds and dull footsteps echoed in the background. The inhabitants of the castle have probably noticed their unwelcomed intruders. Well, I wasn't exactly as quiet as I should have been. Time was running out. I was vaguely aware of my surroundings – the formidable Hei Fei castle, the heart of enemy territory. The friends that I considered family were also risking their lives to find my beloved. Every moment spent here plunges my comrades deeper into danger.

Ce. My best friend. My lifeline for so many years. My responsibility. Where my hopes and dreams once lay.

Da Qiao. A woman with little to no prior combat training, armed with only a furious ambition to rescue her little sister. She was the most important person in Xiao's life, the most treasured possession of Ce. I wonder, will Xiao forgive and could she forgive me, if I allowed something to happen to Da?

Lu Xun. My protégée. The intelligent boy who was still wet behind the ears. Too eager to prove himself; too ambitious to see his limits. Will I be responsible for his premature death? Will I take away his life before the world has fully seen his true potentials?

It was too reckless, stupid even, to let the Heir of the Kingdom, the future Queen and advisor to be exposed in such a dangerous place.I should have thought this through.

I need to hurry. I need to leave this place.

"_Zhou…"_

Gently, my eyes fluttered close.

Not now.

I must not lose my focus now.

Xiao's safety, Ce's safety, Da's safety, Xun's safety were at stake….

"_Zhou…"_

Her sweet voice was growing louder in the depth of the remains of my mind. She was close by, I was sure of it.

"_Zhou, darling! Are you listening to me?"_

"Of course, my dear…"

I whispered, knowing where her voice will take me. The Heavens will remind me of my grave mistake. They will let me relive, again, how one moment of indecision, one instant of negligence had cost me my dearest. My world, my everything.

"Please, at least let me listen to her voice…" I could hear my on ragged voice beg as I begin to lose myself once more, to the last moments before my life shattered right in front of me…

"_It's stopped raining! Can you see that beautiful rainbow?" _

_I could hear her voice, as energetic as her mood seems to be. That was good. She deserved all the happiness in the world._

_Xiao ran into the study, pulling me from my desk towards the window, her smile like sunshine, her hands pointing excitedly at the swirl of colours in the otherwise bluish grey sky. _

"_It's so beautiful isn't it; all the colours mixed together like that? I wonder, just what is on the other side of the rainbow? Do you think there is a beautiful garden full of ever blooming roses?" _

_She paused, her finger by her lips, her mind tinkering away in thought._

"_Which reminds me, I have a riddle for you."_

_I smiled. I loved Xiao's riddles. Most tend to spring from her moods. Some were hilarious and very clever indeed, but some drove me insane – particularly when I have spent so long and shamed my name as the State Strategist and still cannot figure it out._

"_Alright." _

_I braced myself._

"_Here and there, everywhere. Swirls of colour are my reflection, lighter than feather I leave no explanation. High above the ground I can float. Try to catch me? You shall not. Gone like the wind, I am forever out of reach."_

_Blinking several times, I didn't want to state the obvious._

_Xiao looked at me, her face impassive as it was smug. She so loves slowly grinding away my pride._

_I give up. It is so hard to think when I was around her, her hazel eyes on mine._

"_Not a rainbow is it?"_

"_Buzz! Wrong!" Xiao squealed, a blur of colours as she danced beside me, tickling my sides and ducking away before I could get my arms around her waist. "It's a soap bubble!"_

_Before, I would never have expected this from Xiao. She was the Lady Xiao Qiao, the quiet and reserved second daughter of the House of Qiao who would flinch every time someone addressed her. At first I honestly thought that she was afraid of me, my stone cold reputation as the 'cold blooded advisor' or 'a plank of wood' according to Ce doing me no favours, and not surprisingly, as it turned out, she was. And not just afraid. I terrified her. But still I couldn't give up. It was as if I was under an enchantment. She was all I could think about, all I saw. I would think of all sorts of excuses to talk to her, to see her, to breathe the same air as her. _

_But she seems comfortable now, her hair swaying slightly by her side as she tried to swallow a giggle as I tried to recover from my own laughing episode at her swift attack. Her emotional and physical scars were healing, leaving the 'real' Xiao Qiao underneath the brave facade. What she didn't know was that she also healed my psychological scars. I wanted to become her support, but I ended up being supported. I wanted to protect her, but I ended up being the protected. She had completed me in a way that I wanted to complete her._

_I have never liked attention from women, appreciated their existence in life. This was especially true for women who would bat their eyes before me, charm me, or at least try to, with their so called feminine wiles and blatant sales of sex. _

_But Xiao was never like that. She was above all of that._

_I mentally scolded myself for comparing her to the likes of the court women that also reside in the Wu palace. The fact that she was one of the "Beautiful Qiaos" was irrelevant. Xiao was just Xiao. Although I have to admit that my perceptions are biased as Xiao __**is**__ the most beautiful woman I have ever laid eyes on, it was her personality, her laughter, her smile that really takes my breath away. _

_It was everything she does. The way she had a slight spring in her step as she walked, almost like she was dancing. It was the way her lips curved as she spoke, the distinct shape her lips made as she spoke my name. It was the way she would lightly touch my cheek and breathe out, attempting to chide me while her lips pulled up to a smile whenever I felt like teasing her by calling her my 'rose without a thorn'._

_I could still remember clearly the day I realised that he loved her, the day I could finally put a name to all the strange emotions that had plagued me ever since the two beauties arrived in court. I couldn't then (and still have difficulty even now) explain how the sight of the younger Qiao dancing in the courtyard as the cherry blossoms scattered around her, captivated me and kept me standing there, mouth open, the confidential strategic plans of Wu's next campaign lay exposed in my open arms. _

_Was it because of the moonlight reflecting off her tear soaked face, exposing the helplessness that she tried so hard to conceal? Was it because that I once felt just like her, that I was also once so caught up in despair that I simply could not see the opened door, leading me away from it all. Or is it simply because that in her belief that she was alone, she had dropped the façade and allowed me to see the vulnerable girl that was forced into a position that she neither wished for nor desired. _

"_Zhou," _

_Xiao's child like voice snapped me out of my reverie. Her beautiful cherry-like lips were set in a cute pout. "Zhou, are you listening to me?"_

_I smiled, my hand reaching down, resting on her head. "Of course I was Xiao. I always listen to you." _

"_Is that so?" Xiao raised a delicate eyebrow, her head tilted in disbelief. "I believe, Lord Zhou Yu, that you have just told a lie." Her delicate finger pointed to my chest. Her hazel eyes tried to look stern, but she could not hide the mischievous twinkle. "You know what they say about liars: they ought to get punished." _

_I raised both my arms in mock defeat, thinking only of the 'punishments' Xiao had in mind, wondering whether we were thinking along the same lines, and reprimanding myself for such indecent thoughts. "Well you've caught me red handed then, my Lady Xiao Qiao." _

_Xiao's eyes immediately lit up. I bit back a smile as her eyes easily betrayed her emotions. I could almost imagine her high pitched triumphant squeal of "He had admitted defeat? Him? The Zhou Yu? I can't wait to tell Da about this!" No doubt Da will hear about this 'defeat' and Sun Ce, my sworn brother and best friend, would ridicule me until the young lord would find something else (or someone else, usually the older Qiao) worth his attention. _

"_In my defence," I continued, my eyes never once finding a reason to leave her face, "I really wanted to listen to you, but I was distracted…" I gently lifted her small hands to my lips, "…by this beautiful rose without a thorn." _

_As soon as the words were said, Xiao's face grew a bright shade of crimson and I could almost feel the heat radiating from her cheeks. Her slender fingers rested against my cheek in response, and I inwardly swelled at the pride that I alone knew her unique reactions. _

"_Zhou…" _

_She took a deep breath, fighting a wave of embarrassment and desire that flowed through her. "Well I've decided on your punishment." Gently she raised herself on tiptoes. "Stay with me, forever. Please." She whispered in my ear, then burying her face in my chest. Even with her ears flaming red with embarrassment, I still could not take my eyes off of her. _

"_Of course. I wouldn't have it any other way."_

_Lightly, I allowed my lips to lightly graze her forehead, knowing I was tempting my own self control. _

"_Zhou?" She looked up, a flash of enthralled curiosity. Her tone hinted she was unsatisfied, her eyes silently willed me to go on. _

_The last thing I heard was a sharp intake of breath, my own, but all my senses were swept away by the familiar warmth and comfort as my lips crushed into hers, my hands entwined in her light brown locks._

_I hated losing myself in front of Xiao. I never wanted to let her see the storm of emotion raging inside me. What would she think of me then? Would I disgust her, repulse her even? Would I be just like the other suitors? Did I desire nothing but the pleasures her flesh could provide? _

_But the way she murmured my name as her lips moved equally urgently against my own, her hands reaching up, locking behind my neck, broke this intoxicating trance. _

_No. She is not ready._

_I cannot make her do what she hates doing for my sake._

_I took a step back and held her at arm's length. _

"_Sorry." _

_I gave an apologetic smile, untangling my hands from her hair, and gently releasing her intertwined hands from behind my neck._

"_That's alright Zhou."_

_She looked away from my eyes, which I was grateful for, for I was fearful that her eyes would tempt me from folding her back into my arms again. She cleared her throat, her eyes still a bit dazed and her voice rasp and flustered. _

"_By the way, I'm going down to the market. Do you want to come with me? I have a feeling that I would find the 'second sweetest thing in the kingdom dressed in red'." _

_Xiao stuck out her tongue cheekily and offered me her hand, which I took immediately, encompassing her small hand with both my larger, war scarred ones. _

_This was a tough one._

_A day with Xiao was always the more preferable option than anything._

_A day out with Xiao at the markets, one of her favourite places, beats anything hands down._

_But haven't tempted Fate enough for one day? What if I lose myself again, and do something to Xiao that I would seriously regret? Haven't I pushed the boundaries enough?_

_Plus, I really need to look at Ce's proposal regarding the unification of the smaller tribes. I promised that I would have the draft budgets done last week!_

"_Sorry Xiao, I can't." I answered grimly, nodding towards the towering piles of paper on my desk. It was probably a good idea, anyway, after my 'gentleman' display of self control earlier. _

_Seeing her lips about to turn into a heart crushing frown, I quickly amended my answer._

"_Next time, I promise"._

_Xiao pouted, her lips slowly turning up to her signature smile, the smile she saves only for me. _

"_Next time then." She tilted her head again, a coy smile dancing around her lips. "You better keep your promise or I'm running out of punishments." _

_She turned towards the door, smiling as I still held onto her hand. _

"_By the way, Xiao. What is the answer to your riddle? I know it'll keep me up all night."_

_Her lips twitched into a cheeky uneven smile, subtly hinting her content at keeping me at her mercy._

"_I should let you get back to your work…I'll bring you back something good. You like red bean flavoured rice cakes don't you?" She said evasively._

_Reluctantly, I had to release Xiao's hand, albeit very slowly, feeling the silk of her skin slide against mine. As soon as her warmth left I was left with a sudden unmistakeable unease, making my heartbeat cluttered and uneven. _

_Something was screaming in my mind._

_Xiao._

_Something was going to happen if I let her go now._

"_Are you sure you're alright going by yourself? I'll have Ling Tong accompany you." _

_Xiao poked out her tongue. "I'm not a child Zhou, I'll be fine." _

_But I was still not convinced. Every time Xiao had so much as left my line of vision, I would feel uneasy, fearful even, that I would never see her again. Irrational and illogical fear it was, but the feeling was never this forceful. My brow furred deep in thought as I glanced between Xiao and the 'Tower of Desolation', as I now referred to my still to sort out stack of scrolls and books._

"_Come now, don't be like that. You need to do what is right, right?"_

_Xiao hated being the 'private business' that explained why I did not meet my deadline. She reached up and gave me a quick peck on the cheek, looking all the time surprised by her own actions._

"_I'll…uh…I'll see you later, Zhou." She muttered, her face bright red. Stopping by the door, she turned, looking up tentatively, her eyes bright and longing._

"_Promise that we can see each other later?" l heard her mumble before quickly ducking out, too embarrassed to hear my answer. _

_Really, as if there was anything I'd rather be doing! _

But those turned out to be her last words.

She never came back.

_Promise that we can see each other later?_

"I promise, my dear."

I never heard my voice so broken, my mind shattered and torn to pieces.

I stared at my palm, the culprit who had let Xiao go, and almost saw the outline of her delicate, porcelain-like hands. Every fibre of my body ached to feel Xiao's small hands safely inside my own again, where it belongs.

"Damn it to hell!"

I did not need the loud crash, the stinging pain up my arms and splintered pieces of bamboo that stabbed unmercifully at my arm to tell me that I had destroyed the remains of the door I had previously mistreated. But I don't deserve to feel this tiny bit of discomfort. This pain was nothing compared to not knowing where Xiao is, not seeing her flit around the Wu palace, like a graceful swallow in the summer breeze. This pain was nothing compared to what Xiao could be feeling right now.

A movement of air brushed against me, a cool object rested on my throat not long after.

My eyes lazily travelled down, expecting to see the weapon ready to end my life.

This is truly starting to bore me – the Heaven's offers of death. If I could allow myself to die, would I really be at their mercy? I would have done it myself ages ago.

But instead it was a beautifully decorated flute…wielded by a very attractive woman.

"Ahem. I'd prefer you not use that language, seeing as you have trespassed onto private property, and have definitely overstayed your welcome."

Seductive and deadly. How fascinating.

"Were I so inclined," Though her voice was low and feminine, it also had a distinctive poisonous edge to it, "I could have slit your throat at least ten times by now, filthy peasant." The sentenced ended with a sneer and made my lips twitch in amusement.

No need to guess who this mysterious woman takes after.

Giving her the respect I would give to any enemy commander, I turned to face her completely. Sure, she was beautiful. Her dark brown hair pulled back from her pale oval face into a tight bun on the top of her head; cold, auburn eyes accentuated by a light shade of lilac, and a beautiful tear-like mole brought a touch of melancholy to her proud features. However, as stunning as she was, she did not hold even a fraction of Xiao's allure.

No, I shouldn't even try to compare the two.

"My apologies, but I do not intend to die here. Not until she is safe and sound."

The mysterious beauty gave a cold laugh, her mouth set at a haughty smirk. Though her eyes were dark as coal, the cold edge could not detract the attention from her beautiful features. I could definitely see why she was an inhabitant of this ostentatious castle.

"I see. It is as they say: 'a hero cannot pass the temptation of a beauty'. Does the child really mean that much to you? She can hardly pass as graceful, let alone beautiful. Is she so important that you would give up your life?"

She smirked, toying with her jade encrusted flute, her cold eyes examining me with great curiosity, anticipation and surprisingly, no hostility. It was almost as if I was her test subject; a hypothesis she wanted to prove, a mystery she wanted answers to. Her gaze hinted that she knew me, even though I was fairly sure that this was the first time we've met.

I shook my head defiantly and her eyes softened.

"Leave now and I can still spare your life. A woman is not worth your ruin. Even fate can be wrong sometimes."

That came out in less than a whisper, the tone more gentle than I would have thought possible, given her harsh looks and deadly glares.

I took a deep breath, my eyes calculating. Separating me and the doorway was approximately seven steps, nine if I was to go around this mysterious beauty, but the two excessive steps could be eliminated easily. My hand inched towards the sword at my side. I could spare three seconds, max. I would be out the door before she even hits the ground. Three seconds was a small price to pay, if it would mean three seconds that Xiao did not have to endure here.

Shifting to the balls of my feet, I closed my eyes, letting my instincts take over, knowing that I will welcome the metallic scent of death again soon…

"_Zhou."_

It was her again.

Xiao.

"_Da once said to me "all life is precious". I know that you had to do it, but I just wish there were some other way." _

It was like a spell, some kind of enchantment.

No, it was more than that.

It was not forced, coerced even. I did not feel compelled to do anything.

It was deep reaching.

It was unexplainable.

"_I wish this chaotic era would end soon, bringing the end of the cycle of senseless killing. I don't like seeing blood spill, and I know you don't either. " _

In my mind, Xiao gave me a small smile, willing me out of bloodlust, though her bright eyes were clouded by the sorrow that had long once plagued her features. Both her slender hands reached out for my blood stained ones, still holding tightly on to my sword, the enemy's blood dripping from the cool steel.

How could she still accept me so readily? How could she easily steer me out of bloodlust with one glance, one smile? How could I surrender so completely to her words and her vision of a future that would never come to fruition, not with the likes of people like me still prowling around?

I took a deep breath, any traces of desire to kill the woman evaporating instantly. I couldn't even remember my justifications before.

Slowly, I tried to find words to voice my answer, though I could hardly remember her question.

"Yes, she does mean this much to me. So much that my life, the Wu Kingdom, everything, is irrelevant. I'd do anything to get her back. You are right in that a woman is not worth my ruin, but Xiao is not just any woman. Xiao is Xiao. She is the one that the Heavens have gifted to me. "

The beauty sighed, a truly poignant smile touched her lips, the haughty edge vanishing, leaving a surprisingly more beautiful maiden.

"The one for you and only you. Your other half. Your perfect once in a million match."

"My world. My everything."

I nodded slowly. Did she have any relation to Xiao? Did she also know about the myth of the double sided sea shells Xiao adored?

I tried to repress a smile that threatened to twitch on my lips at the thought of Xiao's fairytale, wondering whether Xiao also managed to break the ice with this 'snow queen'.

Very likely. Xiao was the sunlight that could brighten everything, like the first sun rays of the warmth of Spring that melts away the frozen snow of Winter.

The mysterious beauty looked away, her voice distant.

"Did you know that he once said that to me? He once felt that way about me. He, too, was once filled with passion. But it's now…all just a memory, a dream…"

She gave a delicate snort of amusement. "She was right though. You do have iron will that cannot be breached. Perhaps there is some truth to her myth after all."

The cold edge returned in her gaze as she looked up again, the sadness disappearing from her face as quick as it came.

"By the way, the name is Zhen Ji, proud wife of Cao Pi." She offered suddenly, her eyes scrutinised me again, the customary smirk returning, and I wasn't sure if she was impressed by what she saw. "I guess you're the knight in shining armour, the Lord Zhou Yu." She gave a theatrical sigh. "Better late than never, I guess."

The beauty, Zhen Ji, looked around, inspecting for any eavesdroppers, dropping her voice to just above a whisper. "The child is in Lord Cao Cao's private chambers in the Western Wing. Here is the key; I 'borrowed' it from my lord." She pushed something small, bronze and cold into my hand, her eyes darting around. "Please hurry."

My head snapped up, eyes quickly scanning hers for signs of insincerity. The Lady Zhen Ji glared back, offended by this doubt but standing her ground, surprising me.

"Why?" I finally managed to choke out. "Why are you helping me? What would you gain?"

She looked back down, absently touching the jewels on her flute.

"I was once like her. Hopelessly optimistic. Hopelessly in love." She smiled, adding in an undertone, "I admit her naivety and cheerfulness do irritate, but she has rekindled the love and belief I once had in…him…" Her lips quivered in hesitation, "…The belief that she had in you."

Had Xiao placed so much faith in me?

Did I really deserve such faith?

I am sure the Lady Zhen Ji could sense my own self doubt. her voice became harsh again, edging me towards the door. She had made up my mind.

"And protect her you shall. You make sure you get her out of here if it is the last thing you do, or I will personally end your life for you. So what are you waiting for? Go. Before I change my mind."

Adrenaline was pumping in my veins again, all my hopes rekindled. I rushed down the hallway, seeing only one thing.

Xiao.

She is still alive.

* * *

**Ta Da!**

**How's That? Any Improvements?**

**NO?**

**Tough Crowd...**


	3. Uncertain Future and Unspoken Fears

Minna san gokugenyo! Yukage desu!

Thank you so much my dear reviewers, **Peach-chan, Sun Xiao **and** Ying! **News flash: Yukage now knows how to use the "reply to reviews" function! Yay! So if you review, *hint hint* then I'll reply! Please Pease Please read and review! If I know what you like/dislike, what you want more of/less of, then I can try and improve and hopefully you'll like the fic more! Plus it really makes me happy to hear from you. Even if you don't like it, please tell me why and we can work something out! ^_^ Everyone wins!

I have taken into account everyone's recommendations and comments and hopefully this chapter is better than its predecessors!

**Let's talk characters!**

Zhen Ji: I'm so happy that my reviewers like her in my story! I liked her a lot in DW5, and I'm trying hard to portray her overconfidence and haughtiness without making her a cow. Those features distinguish her from the other characters and let's face it, not everyone can be sweet like the Qiao sisters! It's sad how some fics portray her as a bitch just because of her attitude, I think there's more to her than meets the eye!

Xiao Qiao: I'm glad my reviewers haven't flamed me for my 'toned down' Xiao. Personally, I didn't really want her to be the over-hyper twit that is considered the dumber Qiao. I want to balance her innocence and cheeriness with class. I know she seems OOC right now but it will be explained in the later chapters, I promise.

Da Qiao: I really like these big sister type characters; they're just so responsible and cool when they get nasty! I want to point out that my Da Qiao is not a blood thirsty fighter; she is only slightly OOC because of the stress of losing Xiao.

**The important shizzo:**

**Disclaimer**: Yu-Yu does not own DW. DW is owned by the fine people of Koei. If Yu-Yu did owned DW however, there will be some notable changes to the game, namely

Better casting of VAs (is it just me or does Zhao Yun have a weird accent? And don't get me started on Zhou Yu's VA in WO!) and I'd also make the VAs have more enthusiasm for their roles!

More romantic CG cutscenes! Like Nagamasa and Oichi's ones in SW2 except with Xiao and Zhou and Da and Ce! Heck, I'll even make spin off CG movie length features with those 2 couples!

Dare I say bath scenes? Hmm a topless Zhou Yu, Sun Ce, Gan Ning and Zhao Yun? I think I may be on to something!

Have the girls actually mentioned in their spouse's storylines!

More girls! And more costumes! Not just changes in colour. I'd say a new costume per stage!

Hmm… maybe its better if I didn't own DW….it'd go straight into the bargain bin.

Anyway, here is chapter two, enjoy.

* * *

**Uncertain Future and Unspoken Fears - Da Qiao's Perspective**

The moon slowly glided through the pitch black night sky. Time was running out. I looked towards the Eastern gate for the fifth time in three minutes. Still no sign of them. Fear crept through me, shaking my core. My hair hung loosely out of my plaits, my usually immaculate make up smeared with sweat and blood from my enemies. I looked down at my hands. They too, were covered in blood.

_What would father think if he saw me now?_

Father. I suspect he had a part in this. He has never treated Xiao with anything that remotely resembled kindness. The scars over her body were proof of that. I feared father, and I also feared his selection of suitors for Xiao and I. He was always talking about matching Xiao up with the terrifying lord of Wei ever since his trip with Xiao to the Wei Kingdom. Xiao would not tell me anything about it. She would turn uncharacteristically cold; her replies curt, her gaze unreadable, whenever I enquired about her trip. It was truly frightening. My guess is that Lord Cao Cao was infatuated with my dear sister, not that I blame him. Here I smiled, recalling my sister's childish yet striking features. My sister's beauty, her personality and the brightness that she radiated was her charm. I can think of no other person that could even compare with her. Although father never treated me with the same cruelty as he did Xiao, I know that he saw me only as a means to an end. The means to the end of his life as a mere scholar serving the lord, the beginning of an extravagant new life as a noble, or even a Duke, if Xiao and I were to fetch that much. In my bloodlust before, would I have hesitated to kill him?

A particular memory that I had locked away, deep in my mind, clawed back with a vengeance.

_It was just four months before our arrival at the Wu palace. Xiao was hurt. Red lines criss-crossed her delicate form. Father had lashed out at her with a bamboo cane because she had spilt tea over Lord Dong Zhou when he came to appraise his new purchase. Him and father had just ended their lengthily negotiation over the arrangement of our future. We were to be concubines, Xiao and I, serving Lord Dong Zhou at his harem. I think father came out pretty well in the negotiation, he never once tried to conceal his victory with signs of regret or sorrow, you know, emotions fathers are supposed to feel when they are to part with their daughters. No. All father saw was the gold that was going to come in. After Xiao's little 'mishap', Lord Dong Zhou was very angry. He swore that the deal was over, and that father should be grateful that his head, and Xiao's for that matter, was not going to end up on the wrong end of Lu Bu, his fearsome son's halberd. _

_After gently applying ointment to Xiao's wounds and carefully lifting her back into her bed with her maid, Ling Mei, I noticed that Xiao was smiling. The sight of her eerie smile frightened me and it tore at my heart so I quickly buried her face, the only part of her body that wasn't damaged, in my chest. My tears soaked her light brown hair, making them shades darker. Father had never hit Xiao in the face. Not that he was concerned of her dignity, far from that. The evil bastard knows that the lusty lords he was offering Xiao to would lose interest in her if they find any blemishes on her beautiful face. _

"_Da…" Xiao said, her sweet voice muffled by the folds of my dress. I pulled away gently, quickly wiping the tears from my face. It pained Xiao to see me cry, just as it pained me to see her hurt._

"_Yes Xiao?" I tenderly brushed a stray lock of hair that had fallen across her face, containing all the tears that threatened to spill at the sight of the ghostly smile still frozen on her delicate features._

"_That awful man is gone. We're saved from his paradise of pleasure."_

"_Xiao…" Realisation hit me like falling off a cliff. The facts were all there, why didn't I see it before? Every time Xiao or I were nearly gifted to a noble, something strange would happen. First Xiao 'accidentally' fell over, knocking Lord Wei Chao, one of my early suitors over. Then when Lord An Yuan came, Xiao had mysteriously set the kitchen alit. Each time Xiao received a beating. And now Lord Dong Zhou. "Xiao…please don't tell me….you did this…on..on purpose?" I managed to choke out the last word, tears streaming down my face again without my permission. _

_Xiao did not answer me. She turned her head, stopping me from reading her expression._

"_Xiao…No! How could you? How could you risk your life like that? Father could have killed you! Father nearly killed you! Today!"_

_I lost it. How could Xiao subject herself to this? Did she not know what she meant to me?_

"_It's better than what could have happened to us." Xiao snapped. "I won't allow it. Knowing someone like that tub of lard touching us when I could have done something to prevent it." Here, Xiao touched my cheek, giving me a smile that was beyond her years. "I have no worth Da, I shouldn't even exist. The least I can do is make sure you're safe. If I die, then I can protect you from the Heavens, with mother." _

_My insides were as cold as ice. I cannot believe the words coming out of Xiao's mouth. I have tried so hard to alleviate father's damage on her, but it seems that the emotional scars where so deep that not even I could heal them. As the older sister, it was my duty to protect Xiao from whatever harm that may come her way. But here she was, risking life and limb…for me. I disgust myself. My weakness. My ignorance of Xiao's suffering. Tears rained down onto Xiao's face. It took me a moment to realise that I was the one shedding these tears. The self directed loathe spiralled up as I realised the pain I was inflicting on Xiao as she sat there, dumbstruck, as I wept._

"_I'm fine Da, it doesn't hurt at all!" Misinterpreting my tears, she tried to shrug, a casual gesture to convey she was alright, but she could not hide the wince that escaped as the slight movement tore at her battered body. _

"_Oh Xiao…." I gathered her up back into my arms. "How could you say that? My dear sister, you are not worthless; you are worth the whole world to me. Promise, promise me that you will never, ever do this again."When she did not answer, I continued, trying to weave authority into my voice. "Or I will never, and I mean never, talk to you ever again."_

_Xiao looked up, fear colouring her bright eyes._

"_No! Da! You meanie! Ok, I promise!" Hearing her usual self back in her voice, I smiled and rocked her in a gentle motion, luring her to sleep. "All life is precious, Xiao. Please don't ever say that you are willing to die. I know that one day things will be different. Eden does exist, even for us. I do not believe that the Heavens have forsaken us." Slowly, Xiao's breathing became deep and even, a small snore sounding every so often. "I pray, little sister, that you will be free from this madness…someday." _

_It was only then that I realised that not once, even as the bamboo crisply slashed against her body, did Xiao shed a tear. _

The image of my father, cruel and heartless let an unfamiliar laugh escape my lips. No. I would not hesitate to kill him. I would gladly kill the monster that has the nerve to call himself our father. For the 18 years in which he raised me, and the 16 years in which he abused Xiao, I will grant him a quick death. I sighed. The adrenaline from the battle that kept my fears at bay had long but gone, leaving me with the dread that slowly devoured me, sparing nothing in its path of destruction. Never has the still night sky distressed me so. Never has the screaming silence pierced through my mind like a thousand daggers. Never had I felt so afraid.

_What if Zhou couldn't find Xiao?_

_What if Xiao wasn't here…what if it was a trap? Has something happened to Zhou? _

…_and what will happen to my beloved Ce then?_

I looked towards the gate again, the empty stillness mercilessly pointing out that my dear little sister and her beloved were still nowhere to be seen. I looked up at the white orb in the sky, praying that the mighty lords in the Heavens could hear my silent prayer.

_Please. Please, please, please watch over my sister, my only sister, my precious Xiao. _

_What if she was hurt?_

_What if she was….she was…._

Tears streamed down my face immediately. My heart beating uncomfortably against my chest.

"Da, any sign of them?"

My beloved, Sun Ce slowly made his way towards me, his sweet voice soothing my pulse back to normal. As the long night progressed and the likelihood of Zhou and Xiao's safe return diminished, Ce's mood dampened. The eerie silence confirmed his fear.

Zhou and Xiao were still missing.

He looked up at the moon, a pained look touching his normally cheerful features. His lips were moving slowly, murmuring something quietly that I could not make out. He too, must be praying for the safe return of Zhou and Xiao. To be honest I've never seen him pray, to see him at the mercy of the same gods that had cruelly taken his mother from him. Even before tough battles and campaigns, Ce had always feared nothing, for Zhou was always at his side no matter how dangerous or hollow their chances of survival were. And the two of them had made it thus far, together. I know this is hurting him a lot, not knowing where his best friend and sworn brother is. I can see the conflict raging within him. My beloved did not want Zhou going into the formidable castle alone. He Fei Castle, Lord Cao Cao's invincible fortress. Home to Lord Cao Cao's powerful and loyal retainers, and the infamous Bronze Bird Pavilion.

Here, I gave a shudder. I am not going to think about that. Xiao will be alright. I know she will.

Feeling my pulse quickening erratically again, I looked over at my husband. Seeing his defined, forest green eyes calmed my nerves, but I could also see logic battling against his fears. Zhou has to be in the castle alone. We stood no chance against Lord Cao Cao were we to face him head on. Only with stealth could we even have a chance to get someone inside, retrieve Xiao, and come out alive. Zhou volunteered of course. He wouldn't let anyone else go, nor would he let Lord Sun Quan talk him out of it. He needed my sister as much as I needed her. As much as I hate to admit it, I am no longer what is solely on my sister's mind. It's not that I begrudge the happiness that Xiao feels when Zhou is by her side, staring lovingly into her eyes, for I feel the same about my lord. It's just that for 16 years, Xiao has been my only reason to continue living, and I hers. Ever since mother passed away, Xiao was my little ray of sunshine in my otherwise dark existence. Seeing Zhou so easily attract her attentions, making her smile in the ways I cannot, made me feel a little…jealous.

I smiled. It has not been an easy journey for Zhou to gain Xiao's trust and affections. It is about time that I let her go, let her forget about her painful past, and let her begin her new life as a woman, in love.

A sudden rustle in the bushes nearby caught my attention. My head automatically jerking towards the commotion, hope and happiness filling my cold being instantly.

"Xiao!" I cried.

"Da! What's wrong? Is Zhou and Xiao back?" Ce called, looking around wildly.

A petite boy with a unique red hat atop his fair head strode into the clearing. Immediately, disappointment shot through me like a reflex reaction, but I quickly reproached myself. Lu Xun was risking his life to find my sister. Xun, Zhou Yu's student, was also extremely worried about his tutor and his wife. He, like others, could see the dramatic changes in Xiao and Zhou since their time together. He is aware, as we all are, of the devastation the loss of Xiao will cause Zhou. We are all certain that the death of Xiao will mean the death of Zhou, and perhaps, the end of myself. Hence why Lu Xun too, is here in enemy territory, frantically searching. The sight of Xun, walking alone into the clearing was not only disappointing, but also quite odd. I have grown accustomed to a certain someone who always clung on to his arm, following him everywhere. Someone who would blush red every time we laughed at the couple and mumble something vague like "it's not what you think, we're just friends". Someone we all secretly refer to as 'Xun's little red shadow'.

Where was Sun Xiang Shang? Xiang Shang and Xiao were really close, almost like Xiao's long lost sister, separated at birth. Her boyish, cheery personality helped uncovered Xiao's own childish inner self, which father had tried to stamp out with long, boring etiquette lessons and beatings. Xiang Shang was also extremely upset at Xiao's disappearance. Although she and I also got along fine; tree climbing, sparring and the occasional pranks just wasn't the same without Xiao.

Oh, that's right. She is back in the palace.

Due to the risk imposed by our intrusion onto enemy territory, Lord Sun Jian, Ce's father, had forbidden both the younger Sun siblings to come along. Don't get me wrong, Lord Sun Jian absolutely adored my sister. His wrinkled, sincere eyes told me that he too, misses the way Xiao brightened up his kingdom, and in particular, his usually serious adopted son, Zhou. Although he too, was eager for her return, he could not risk losing both his sons, his heirs that held the great responsibility of continuing the Wu kingdom, and the Sun name. He knew that there was no way Ce would stay behind, knowing Zhou and I were going, so he had insisted that Quan remain in the palace. He also did not want to risk Lord Cao Cao getting a glimpse of the charming tomboy princess whom, although he had brought up as a boy with her brothers, would always be "daddy's little girl". Instead, Lord Sun Jian himself volunteered to lead the assault personally, much to the exasperation of his generals and children. This was truly touching. Here, someone with no blood relation with my sister and I, was willing to risk his own life, just as a father would. I took his aged hands in my own, thanked him for his kindness and promised, with all the confidence that I could muster, that I would try bring Xiao back, and keep watch over his two sons(1). What's more, the way Lord Sun Jian loves and protects his children; I had not known such tight family bond, expect with Xiao of course, and it made me realise why other the kingdoms would fear, and envy, the power of the Sun family.

"I'm sorry my lord, my lady." Lu Xun bowed, truly sorry for his appearance. He knows that we were expecting, hoping it was someone else. "I have searched around the surrounding supply and defence bases, but did not see any signs of Lord Zhou Yu, or Lady Xiao Qiao." Sun Ce clapped him on the shoulder. "It's ok Xun. Thanks for all your hard work. Go prepare the horses, Zhou and Xiao will be back soon. " As Xun hurried off, he glanced towards the moon again, murmuring his prayers. I locked both my arms around his waist, my head leaning against his broad back. Ce sighed, gently folding me within his embrace, planting a small kiss on my forehead. "Da, it's ok. They'll be back soon. Have faith in Zhou." He murmured, more to himself. I tightened my hold around his arms, trying my best to believe his false hope.

Suddenly, a movement in the east caught our attention. Long, chocolate brown hair flowed in the night breeze. Zhou strode out of the darkness, his usually perfect features was void of any emotions, both his strong arms possessively over a large red bundle.

It was Xiao!

Forgetting everything, I crossed the clearing, tears clouding my vision. "Xiao!" I cried, reaching towards her, longing to touch her soft skin, to confirm that this was not another dream. Zhou suddenly twitched, taking two steps back, turning and hiding Xiao from my view. He had a most peculiar expression. It was sadness beyond anguish; agony and fury radiating from every inch of his normally collected composure. "Zhou? What are you doing?" I stammered, reaching forward again.

"Don't. Touch. Her." He spat, unleashing a violent venomous glare.

What is going on here? I took a deep breath. What does Zhou Yu think he is doing? This is my sister, MY Xiao. I have every right to see if she is alright. "Zhou Yu," I breathed, a deadly contrast to Zhou's outburst, but no less frightening. Reflexively, I readied my fans. If he was not going to allow me to see my sister, then he best accept the consequences. Feeling the sudden intensity in the mood, Sun Ce dashed forward, locking both my arms inside his masculine hold, preventing me from taking a swipe at his brother. "Zhou, you're back with Xiao! That's excellent news, buddy." He shifted so he was in between Zhou and I, pacifying the situation. "Lu Xun will be here shortly with the horses. We best not stay here any longer." He clapped his hand on Zhou's shoulder, overwhelmed with relief. Zhou shrugged it off, and looked away from his sworn brother. Torn between hurt and confusion, Ce was about to retort when Xun came back, our horses in tow.

"Master Zhou Yu! You're safe! With Lady Xiao Qiao!" Xun cried happily, running towards his favourite tutor, forgetting all formalities. Zhou shot him a cold look and wordlessly grabbed the reins from his student. He climbed onto his horse with grace and after nesting Xiao safely within his arms, he rode off without another glance towards where we stood, mouth open.

The warm feeling that settled within me left as quick as it came as I watched my brother-in- law's retreating figure. Shaking, my hands reached towards them, willing them to stay. My voice longed to call out to them, but my knees gave out and I hit the ground with a soft thud. Ce's protective arms wound around me immediately. "Da… Zhou's just stressed, that's all. Everything will be alright." But as he glanced towards his sworn brother, disappearing into the night, he too, started to fear our uncertain future.

* * *

Well firstly I must apologise for my very OOC Zhou. Please be understanding, after seeing his battered Xiao and hearing what Cao Pi said, you can understand why he is not feeling himself. Yes I know, it's not Da and Ce fault about what happened to Xiao, but he's just so angry right now, he needed some way to vent. He also doesn't trust anyone touching Xiao anymore, which I think is understandable. Have no fear my dear readers, I shall have him back to his good old self in no time….*shifty eyes*

In this chapter I wanted to portray the in-depth relationship between Xiao and Da. OK, some people may think its bordering yuri but seriously! They're sisters! It was not my intention to suggest such intimacy between the two girls! I think it is only natural to develop a strong bond if your sister is your only emotional support during tough (and heck, its flippin tough for the girls) times. So sorry yuri fans, you ain't gonna find it in this fic!

(1) By two sons, I am referring to Sun Ce and Zhou Yu, as of course, Sun Quan was not allowed to go.

So why does Lord Qiao Xuan treat the sisters so differently? Muahaha read and find out! I have it all planned, just not sure when I will reveal it all!


	4. Fortune Will Smile Upon Us

I just realised that I made an epic mistake. In the last chapter I wrote Shang Xiang's name as 'Xiang Shang'. Duh! I'm so dumb! It's because I generally refer to her in my mind by her Chinese characters (and therefore not the English pinyin). But still, DUH! *Palm forehead*.

Thanks again to my reviewers: **SilentNinja**, **Sun Xiao** and of course, the lovely **Ying**!

So, as I have said in my reply to Ying's recommendations, I have now enlisted the help of my older sister to act as my beta reader. So fingers crossed my writing skill will improve in the next few chapters!

Disclaimer: I don't own Dynasty Warriors…yet. It's on my 'to do before I die' list ^_^.

* * *

**Fortune will Smile upon Us - Sun Shang Xiang's Perspective**

*Gong*

The distant bell chimed for the third time, its low resonance vibrating through the night.

Must be midnight.

I rolled over, reaching the end of my soft bed. Fear started to bubble inside me again. Why are they not back yet? Did something happen to Xiao? What about Ce? And Da and Zhou? And…and…

Oh my gosh.

I clapped my hand over my mouth. I had completely forgotten! Xun went as well! I could remember it clearly. Zhou had just announced his plan of a surprise reconnaissance mission to get Xiao back from He Fei Castle and after much protesting and failed attempts of persuasion (by my pathetic brother, Quan of course), Zhou strode out of the room, leaving the rest of the generals to decide amongst themselves who is also going. Father then stood up and announced that Quan and I were forbidden to go, and that he was going in our place.

Well, you can't expect me to sit quietly after that so I did what I do best: kicked up a fuss, and we smoothly reached a compromise. Well, it didn't really run that smoothly; the 'strategic planning session' that Zhou originally facilitated turned into a scuffle, and Quan ended up with two black eyes which I fervently deny responsibility. But don't judge me yet! I'm the victim too you know! Although I have successfully convinced my father not to go, while my brother, my two best friends and Xun, my…my eh…I'll get back to you on that one, is out saving my other best friend, here I am confined to my room!

"Argh!"

In my frustration I threw my pillow against the wall, startling my many servants who came rushing in swords poised, expecting to see me heroically battling away an intruder. Instead, they see me, Princess Sun "warrior by day, warrior by night" Shang Xiang, lying on the bed, a tear rolling down my cheek. I quickly sat up, whipping the tear away as if I'm adjusting my red headband, disgusted at my lack of dignity. Rumours spread faster than wild fire in this place. People talk. Especially the women, the servants and my pathetic excuse of a brother, Quan.

Speaking of Quan, if he finds out that here I am, sitting in my room crying, he is going to taunt me till I no sooner drown myself in the bath tub out of shame. Ce, my oldest brother, (whom in my opinion is twice the man Quan is, and three times more handsome with his cute little goatee that Quan failed miserably to imitate) would wear a look of pure surprise that is so insulting that I'd run head first into my wall. Da and Xiao will be so glad that I finally found what they deem are my 'long lost womanly emotions', they'd dance around me and squeal happily that I would throw myself down a cliff. Tong and Ning, my other friends would mock me so much, even more than last time when they saw me in a dress for Ce and Da's wedding that death by chakrams wouldn't even be a bad way to go. I swore to myself that I would never be seen, dead or alive, in a dress again, for the following day they turned up, unannounced in my room in dresses and poorly applied make up, giggling "Ohh, I'm Shang Xiang, I'm so pretty" and laughing themselves silly. Although the situation was quickly remedied thanks to a few quick swipes by my trusty chakrams, the mental image of the two 'beauties' still makes me shudder and I still yet to reclaim my lost dignity!

But the worst would be Xun's reactions, or what I thought to be his reactions. You'd think that he would be horrified that someone dared make me cry and hunt down the villain responsible and swoop me in his arms and…and…wait. I think I'm getting a bit ahead of myself. Xun would never do that! That sounds more like Ce! He would definitely beat whoever made Da shed a tear to a pulp and then swoop Da up in a tight bear hug and…and…

I heaved a long sigh. How sad am I if I am going to have romantic day dreams about my older brother and his wife.

I tilted my head, an idea intrigued me. I looked around to see if anyone was watching me. The coast is clear! I sat up, my hands clasped together.

If I was going to have romantic day dreams with, dare I say it, Xun, I might as well make it more romantic!

Ahem, let me start over.

Xun would see the tear rolling down my cheek. He would take my face gently in his arms, spewing some romantic poetry (that no doubt had Zhou taught him) and slowly lift my face up and kiss my tears away, his lips moving slowly down my face towards my lips and… and…Wait!

That's not like Xun at all!

That romantic, charismatic, womanising way fits Zhou Yu like a glove! Not that Zhou has ever been anything beyond lukewarm, but his unofficial title as "the Beautiful Warrior of Wu" and cold, short replies seem to attract an awful lot of attention from the court ladies. Zhou has always taken the attention and gifts in stride but I can tell he does not really enjoy receiving them. But Zhou is too polite. He would thank the lady (and courteously endure the giggling and the eye batting that follows), but he would always somehow manage to deviously return the gifts back to the giver. I suspect the ladies haven't noticed their return, as by then they are usually so head-over-heels in love with Zhou's answering 'smile' (which in my opinion is a weird cross between being surprised and feeling disturbed), they don't notice an extra hair clip or handkerchief in their inventory.

But since Xiao stumbled into his life, I've seen the other side of Zhou that I had never thought possible. I've seen him, gently gathering Xiao up in his arms in the courtyard when he thought they were alone; a genuine smile playing on his lips at the sight of her bright ear-to-ear grin. His eyes soft with a tender expression that was so affectionate even I, who have long gotten over the admiration turned love towards Zhou, could hear my heart pounding quickly in my chest. He would then whisper something in Xiao's ears, making her blush a crimson red then reaching towards her and…and…

"Oh no…" I groaned. Now I'm day dreaming about my two best friends. Great. Now how will I face them when they get back? They'll ask: "Hey Shang, what'cha do when we were out?" and I'd reply, "Oh nothing, just day dreaming about the four of you in your lovey-dovey mode."

Fantastic.

A real ice breaker.

And to top it off, I just remembered something. Xun wouldn't, and I quote "slowly lift my face up and kiss my tears away", I'm taller than him for goodness sake! I rolled over again, caught between the embarrassment of romantically daydreaming about my kinsmen and my acceptance that my "friendly bond" towards Xun may not be as 'friendly' as I had anticipated. I sighed. Running head first into my wall now seems like a fine option.

But seriously though, I wonder what Xun would do if he saw me cry?

My thoughts were cut short by the racket outside. Could it be? They've returned! In my excitement I shot out through my balcony window, landing as graceful as a leopard in the middle of a hunt. Allowing no more than three seconds to get my bearings, I sprinted across the courtyard towards the main gate, eager to see my friends again.

At first I was a little surprised to only see Zhou and what appears to be Xiao bundled in his arms at the gate, surrounded by my father and the other generals. Well now, this is a surprise! Zhou and Xiao have always been very low keyed with their relationship, well if you compare to Ce and Da. It was usually my passionate older brother, Ce. His over-the-top romantic and sometimes disturbing (for the innocent bystanders, at least) shows of love often left Da scarlet, but she seems to enjoy them.

Zhou and Xiao on the other hand…well, you wouldn't have guessed unless you knew. When they bumped into each other in the hallway, they would simply greet each other politely, and then go their separate ways (as usually Zhou had to rush to meetings). But I've always noticed how Xiao's gaze would linger on his retreating figure, a small indulgent smile on her lips, as if just the sight of him was enough. During dinner time, when we would all eat in the dining chamber, they would take their usual seats: Zhou in between Ce and Xun and Xiao between Da and myself. Xiao would always gracefully pick out prime cuts of meat and place them on his plate, but then again, she would do the same for Xun, Tong and Ning. But every now and then I swear I would see them glance in each others' direction, their eyes exchanging private messages, and break away, smiling.

Not seeing Zhou's murderous expression, I skipped up to him. "Zhou! You're back!" I mockingly looked around, "My, my, my, where are the others? Don't tell me you two love birds elope…d?" Zhou's glare that spelt murder stopped my teasing, my voice lost within my sudden fear.

Those eyes…they are the same. The first and only time that I've ever seen Zhou let his fury take over his senses.

_It was a couple of months before the two had wed. I had just finished a gruelling training session with Da, Xiao and Huang Gai, one of my father's most trusted general and friend. Da and Xiao had surprised us with their agility and prowess in battle; it was something that Da had causally joked as "the 13 years of dancing lessons paying off." I was exhausted and for once in my life, craved nothing but a hot bath. Da, Xiao and I were walking towards the bath chamber when we saw the beautiful full moon in the night sky. We were so preoccupied with training that we had not realised that the hour was so late. Looking at the bright moon in stark contrast to the black sky, Xiao suddenly clapped her hands together, her face blooming into a smile that took even my breath away. She never smiled like that. Ever._

"_I just had the most wonderful idea!"_

_Well, it turns out her 'wonderful idea' was completely ludicrous! I stood there mouth open, wondering how she was going to get this idea through Zhou Yu. Turns out the girl has the luck of the devil, for Zhou was occupied in an important meeting with father (Xun was there of course, taking notes) which allowed her and Da to use their feminine wiles to enlist the help of Ning, Tong and Ce. _

_This explains how the great big heavy wooden bath tub that was usually __**inside**__ the bath chamber sat in the middle Xiao and Da's personal court yard, filled to the brim with hot water. Temporary bamboo blinds were also set up, providing some privacy. It would seem that the boys misunderstood Xiao and Da's request when they volunteered to carry the tub (or could it be they were simply distracted by Xiao and Da's charms?), for when we told them get out they broke out in to a chorus of complaints ranging from "misleading advertising" (they claimed that Da and Xiao promised that they could join us) to Ning declaring that he wasn't leaving until we showed him some skin. Well, after a few well aimed kicks to their privates, the three boys scurried off, leaving us to bathe in peace. _

_At first I was a little uneasy about the idea. After all, I've never been very confident with my figure, and here I'm about to bathe with the two most sought after women in the three kingdoms! Da and Xiao were already in the tub, chatting excitedly, pointing up at the moon when I finally climbed in, looking around self consciously. Well, I gotta say, there's something about the shimmering moon above our heads that really changes the ordinary bathing experience. I leaned back against the polished wood, stretching my tired muscles._

_Xiao slithered towards me, holding up a sponge, making little whirlpools in her wake. "Hey Shang Xiang, want me to scrub your back? I'll try and do it the way Da does it, she's really good!"  
I laughed; no one had scrubbed my back since mum died. When she was done I reached for the sponge, ready to return the favour when I gasped, my hands flying to my mouth. Da and Xiao spun around, looking for the commotion._

"_Xiao…" I stammered, pointing at her petite body. There was nothing wrong with her body per se; just as I had thought, Xiao had an amazing figure. What was peculiar were the cuts and bruises that ran through, splashing her creaming white skin with spots of mauve and red, stopping just before it reached her neckline. "Wh-what happened to you Xiao?" _

"_Oh…" she said, understanding my sudden distress. Da rushed over immediately, taking her hand. "It's nothing to worry about Shang Xiang." Xiao said dismissively. "It's nothing, really." _

_Sensing her reluctance, I turned to Da, her face low with shame. She could feel my gaze on her, and she slowly lifted her head, tears glistering in her eyes. "My father is very strict with Xiao. He would lash out at her for the smallest faults. She was worse before, but most of the cuts have healed."At first I thought Da was ashamed of her father's actions, then I realised that she was ashamed of herself. Ashamed that she could not do anything to prevent this. Ashamed that she allowed it to continue._

_I was absolutely stunned. How could a father hurt his daughter so? I thought back to my own father who had treated me with nothing but love and affection. I cannot contemplate what kind of human being would have the heart to subject anyone, let alone his own daughter, to this level of abuse. _

"_That's enough Da." Xiao snapped, getting out of the tub. After quickly putting her robes on Xiao turned to me, her gaze icy. "Shang Xiang, I'd appreciate it if you kept this between us. Good night." Then Xiao strolled off, without another word._

"_Xiao has always been ashamed of her body," Da murmured, not really speaking to me anymore, lost in her own thoughts. "She doesn't think she has a chance in love, real love, while she is broken like that. Not that Xiao ever believed in love." She sighed. "Father is truly a monster. By robbing Xiao of her self-esteem, he knows she can never escape him, escape the future he has mapped out for her."Da looked up at the moon, tears flowing earnestly now. "But I think she is beautiful. Xiao will always be my beautiful little sister, no matter what."_

_I didn't know how I made it out of the tub, and into my sleepwear. But I know that that night I could not sleep; the image of Xiao's broken body was firmly etched in my mind. The next morning I stumbled around the palace, not knowing where my feet were taking me, too absorbed in my own depressing thoughts. I didn't even realise that I walked towards the library until I bumped into someone. It was Zhou._

"_Princess Shang Xiang." He bowed. As he looked up he caught my expression and his arms quickly steadied me, his eyes searching mine for indications of my state of distress. "Are you alright? Are you hurt?"_

"_Zhou…it's Xiao! You have to help her!" I know that I have just betrayed Xiao, but I know that a real friend wouldn't sit around and let her continue to be tortured by her father and her own demons. Hearing Xiao's name, Zhou's head snapped up. "Xiao? What happened to her?" His hold on my arms tightening as his eyes burned me with their intensity. _

_Oh well, I have to tell him now. It would seem I have no other choice. I took a deep breath and told him everything that happened last night._

_Okay…as well as confessions go that went pretty well I think…not. Zhou flipped out…literally. I've never seen him so distressed; torn between the desire to sweep Xiao away from harm and the desire to kill her father. After a moment of frantic pacing, his shoulder length hair flying about; he stormed off, his eyes ablaze. I followed him quickly, not sure whether I should stop him or help him hunt down the monster that had tormented Da and Xiao so._

_To my surprise, Zhou stormed into Da and Xiao's room, the maids alarmed at the fury on his usually handsome features. Da came forward and greeted us. "Lord Zhou Yu, Princes Shang Xiang, to what do we owe the pleasure? I'm afraid my sister is feeling under the weather today, so if you'll excuse me…" She was interrupted as Zhou pushed past her, rushing into Xiao's room. Da glanced at me, understanding, and we both set out to follow Zhou, unsure what to expect. _

Even now, the deadly expression on Zhou's face still sent shivers down my the other generals and my father, Zhou turned to walk away; determination evident in every stride, even though no one around has any ideas of his intentions.

"Zhou! Xiao!"

Da Qiao galloped around the corner, my brother and Xun swiftly behind her. Fluidly, she jumped off her horse, standing in front of Zhou, preventing him from moving.

"Zhou. Stop." She said, cooling staring down his glare. "She wouldn't want this, you hurting yourself like this." Her voice softened. "Trust me Zhou. I can help her." Her hands gently touching the thin cut on Zhou's perfect cheek. "Please Zhou. Do it for Xiao."

Zhou's lips trembled, the poison slowly melting from his eyes. Like a fallen warrior, his knees gave way, but his fatigue infested body still holding Xiao like his lifeline. Da too, fell onto her knees, embracing her sister and brother-in-law. Her tears were overflowing rivers. Through the curtain of chocolate brown hair, I saw, for the first time, a glistering teardrop trailing down Zhou's cheek. The sight of Zhou, the calm and composed Wu strategist, my friend who I grew up with and admired all my life, made my knees buckle and abruptly, my cheek rested against the fresh soil, tears clouding my vision. The other generals shifted uncomfortably, torn between their desire to help and the desire to give the tearful party some privacy.

After a moment's silence and the occasional sniff from the surrounding generals (I'm guessing Quan), Da stood up, her face set. "My sister requires medical attention." She called calmly. "Summon all the medics in the kingdom." Correctly interpreting Zhou's expression, she added, "Female medics. I will meet with them in Xiao's presence chamber." She turned to the stunned generals. "Please reinforce all entrances and exits within the palace. We will expect retaliation from the Wei army."

"Yes my Lady!" Mass movement as servants and generals alike rushed in all directions. Ce rushed towards Zhou and Xiao, gently guiding him towards Xiao's chambers.

Da glanced towards me. "Shang Xiang, when you're ready, please meet me in the bath chamber, I will bring Xiao there after her examination. I will need your help to clean her up. In her state, I don't think she'll let anyone else touch her…" She then turned to my father, sweeping to a deep curtsey. "Lord Sun Jian, my sincerest apologies for putting the palace under siege." My father rushed to her side, gently pulling her up. His kind, ancient face wordlessly conveying to her: his forgiveness, relief and gratitude for the safe return of his sons and Xiao.

Even after the crowd had dispersed, off fulfilling their duties and Xiao was taken care of, I remained on the ground, tears still flowing out of my control. The cold soil pressed against my face, mocking me that this was not the happy homecoming that I had expected, that something had gone horribly wrong. Xun knelt beside me, silently offering me his hand. I took it gratefully, but the warmth of his hand couldn't distract me from the disturbing reality.

"What happened?" I whispered, my mind repeating the hazy images of Zhou's coldness, Xiao's stillness and Da's forced confidence.

"We were too late." Xun replied bluntly, his eyes apologetically willing me to believe him. "Too late? As in…?" I had already guessed the answer, but my mind was glutton for punishment. I had to hear it from Xun's lips to believe it. Xun hesitated, knowing that although lies would numb my pain, I needed to accept the truth before I can heal. "I'm not sure as I was not in the castle myself, and I obviously couldn't ask Master Zhou Yu, but I think that Lord Cao Cao has had the Lady Xiao..." He shuddered at the delicate matter.

Now I understood the agony in Zhou's tears and I felt a fresh wave of misery sweep over me. I fell into Xun's arms, crying. Xun didn't' say anything; he gently stroked my short tresses as I stained his robes with tears and dirt. When he could tell that I had cried my eyes dry and my hiccups were subsiding, he slowly took out a lush silk handkerchief from his pocket and carefully stroked my cheeks.

"Don't…" I mumbled, suddenly realising how unattractive I must look, with my eyes puffy and red, and hiccups slurring my speech. "Ha ha," I sniffed, trying to detract the attention from my face, "the masculine Shang Xiang can cry! What's next I wonder, a rooster that can lay eggs?"

Xun laughed, gently clapping me on the back. His melodic laughter sending jolts through my body. "I have to go, I don't think Master Zhou Yu has eaten or slept since Lady Xiao's disappearance… I'm going to see if there is anything I can help with." He stood up with grace that I could only envy, readjusting his hat. Reaching out his hand again, he gently pulled me on to my legs. I grabbed a hold of his sleeve as he turned to leave. He looked surprised but his tussock coloured eyes warmly prompted me to continue.

"Hey Xun…thanks…thanks for being here for me…I uh…I'm sorry for crying like that…it must have made you uncomfortable huh…"

He smiled, his eyes suddenly twinkled, the flash of emotion quickly hidden by his usual composure. He reached forward, so close that I could see my reflection in his eyes, our lips just inches apart.

"I knew you had it in you, Shang Xiang." He stroked my short locks and gently tucked a stray strand behind my ear. "Take care, and don't forget Da and Xiao are waiting for you."

Then he strode off, leaving me in the courtyard, red faced and heart bounding, my breath staggering as if I just ran a marathon.

I think I was still smiling as I reached the bath chamber (the boys were ordered to put the tub back the next day after our little midnight dip by a very angry Zhou). I replayed particular memories from tonight over and over in my head: Xun's musical laugh, Xun's hands tucking my hair behind my ear, and the way Xun said "take care." I giggled. All the memories were of Xun! Such simple words that although I have replayed in my heads numerous times already (five, and counting), my heart would pound as quickly as it did when he first said it. Warm, fuzzy happiness filled my being completely. It didn't even occur to me that I was being selfish, drowning in happiness and desire while my friends were drowning in despair.

But I think I repaid my sins the very next moment, for even before I could reach to open the door to the bath chamber, my short lived happiness was taken from me as I heard an ear splitting scream.

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Reviews are greatly appreciated!

To be honest, I have never thought about Shang Xiang and Xun together as a couple before, but then I read a really cute fic featuring those two, and it really opened my eyes!

Anyway, I know this chapter has more SSX/LX than XQ/ZY but have no fear, dear readers, for there will be more romance in the later chapters! And plus, this one is written in Shang's POV so of course she'd talk about Xun….

Oh yeah, I've set up a poll regarding the future directions of this fic…and it would mean the world to me if you voted ^_^!


	5. Hope & Faith: The Cruel Faces of God

I think I need to clarify my use of flashbacks... Flashbacks will be indicated through the use of italics. The first half of the story will be based on flashbacks leading back to the current time (i.e. rescuing Xiao from He Fei) and different people will fill in the holes in the story created by the prelude and chapter 1. So in the last chapter, Shang recalled to the point in which Zhou Yu stormed into Xiao's room. Then the flashback ends and we return back to the present time (being Zhou Yu's return with Xiao in the courtyard). I know that I stopped it abruptly, but I wanted to explain what happens afterwards in Xiao's perspective, because to her, it is the most humiliating thing for someone to see her battered body, and the last person she wanted to show it to is Zhou Yu. These are personal feelings that would not have been conveyed to Shang.

Shang was upset because she had expected Xiao and Zhou Yu to return happily, and everything would just be as dandy as if the whole incident never happened. Judging from Zhou's behaviour and what Xun told her, it was not the case. Especially finding out what happened to Xiao and the shock of seeing Zhou cry, it was just a bit much for her to handle, hence the crying.

So my apologies about the confusion, I will try to be more consistent in the flashbacks part in the next chapters.

Thank you heaps, my loyal reviewer, **Sun Xiao**. I really look forward to you reviews and they truly brighten my day! Big thanks also to **Yue1234 **and** xLiesOfLovex. **Your reviews keep me writing even at times when the writer's block threatens to eat me (or when I am tempted to goof off). **xLiesOfLovex, **I am honoured to serve as your Beta for as long as you want. I can't wait for your KH fic! Special thanks to the **SilentNinja**. Your deep insights into history are truly remarkable, and I really enjoy reading your very persuasive views! If you ever want a rundown on the history of accounting thought, this particular capitalist piglet will be more than happy to oblige!

**Disclaimer:** Still don't own 'em

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**Hope and Faith: the Cruel Faces of God - Sun Ce's Perspective**

Well let's just say the last few days have not been the best days of my life. To be honest, I think they'd even make the top ten worst. It's ironic; two weeks ago I would have given anything to see Xiao alive. Now, seeing her in that state has made me question whether this is another one of fate's cruel twists. I've never seen my best buddy Zhou so shattered before. In the four days that Xiao has been back in the palace, Zhou has aged more than he had all his life; even more than when Xiao suddenly went missing and we didn't know if she was alive or dead. But that was a close second.

Not suggesting anything between us (I love my beautiful wife, Da! I swear!), but my sworn brother and best friend was hot stuff! Women would go nuts over his smooth face, dazzling features and calm personality. They literally drool when he spoke; his low, silky voice as beautiful as the romantic hocus-pocus that spewed from his mouth. You should see him when he wants to be persuasive! I swear I even saw some flustered looking generals amongst the nose bleeding women. Men envied his wit and intellect at headquarters and his grace and prowess on the battlefield. Most were even jealous of his long, straight, sleek hair. I ruffled my unruly hair and scratched my goatee.

Well Da seems to like it…at least, I'm fairly sure she does, so it's ok…right?

But before he had met Xiao, Zhou was…well Zhou. Organised. Serious. Uptight. To the extent that he seemed cold to those who didn't know him. It took a while for him to open up to me. Not that I blame him, after his traumatising ordeal.

_Pops was on his way home from a successful campaign when he smelt smoke. The clear blue sky was dyed an eerie red, ash like snow fell from the sky. The usually serene atmosphere after the summer time harvest was upset by sounds of men hooting and women screaming. As the party rushed towards the commotion, they could smell blood and burning flesh. _

_It was a raid on a village._

_Pops said those parts were occupied by notorious bandits. By the time he and his men had eliminated the bandits, there were no survivors…or so he thought. Amongst the burning corpses and debris, Pops said that he saw the most beautiful and terrifying boy. Long brown hair swaying in the wind, covering his eyes, his delicate face smeared in blood. The boy's left hand rested on the hilt of a long sword, the cool blade pinning one of the corpses of a bandit to the hard soil, a pool of blood slowly oozing out. His right hand tightly grasped the hand of an equally beautiful woman, who has lying against an aging tree trunk. Her long brown hair was tussled and stray strands falling out of an elegant bun atop her head. Even under the situation, both the boy and the woman emitted an aura of nobility. However, upon closer inspection, Pops stifled a gasp. The woman's clothing was torn and hung loosely off her body, dark red stains visible under the thin linen of her under garments. A small trickle of blood dripped from the side of her lips, her eyes blank. _

_She was dead._

_Pops then dropped to one of his knees, surveying the boy. The boy did not seem to be able to respond, but refused to let go of his mother. Pops slowly bent towards the deceased woman, and gently closed her eye lids._

"_Boy, let her go." He called gently. "Your mother is in a better place. Let us give her a proper burial."_

_Pops told me that the boy did not rest even once that night, as he dug his mother's grave alone. Each shovel of dirt drained more of energy and kept him occupied until he was completely exhausted. After ensuring perfection to his mother's resting place, he gently plucked a flower from a nearby bush and laid it on top of the fresh soil. Then he collapsed, his body sapped of strength that he could not even cry; his eyes open, the flickering ember reflecting off his hatred filled irises. It was then and there that Pops decided to bring him back to the kingdom, to care for the boy as his own. To try and mend the scars the cruel beasts had inflicted on him the day they took advantage of and killed his mother right before his very eyes. The boy was so quiet during the trip back that many times Pops had thought the boy had passed away in his arms. That's when he decided that the boy needed my influence._

_I remember seeing him for the first time, on top of Pops' fine steed, nestled, as Xiao was, between Pops' muscular arms. Pops then took me aside and entrusted me with the boy. He said that although the boy looked around my age, no one knew the extent of his psychological injuries, and whether or not he could ever recover from it. I looked at the boy again and felt an instant connection._

And I haven't looked back since.

But now Zhou looked like a zombie, and that's not a far exaggeration either. His skin gaunt and pale, his once confident stance robbed of all its vigour. Dark circles lined his once dazzling eyes, his silky hair now hung lifelessly on his shoulders.

I suppressed a sigh. The breeze from the open window ruffled the stacks of paper in the stuffy room.

Zhou's study.

I've never liked coming in here; I found the towers of paper intimidating, the shelves of books impressive but utterly boring. But Zhou's presence always made coming here, doing paperwork…fun in a way. Even though Zhou was a man of few words, very few words, his silence perfectly complemented my loquaciousness. His comebacks would make me laugh, then wonder if he was insulting me. We were a good team. My fist would get us into fights…and his wit would get us out, unscathed. I looked at the empty seat next to me.

It felt so surreal.

Zhou had stopped coming to his study now and a few days prior it was a mission itself to get him out, to get him to stop working for once. It was a job we entrusted to Xiao. I don't know how she does it but she always managed to get Zhou to eat with us during meal times, go for the odd horse riding trip and even laugh. But now…Zhou doesn't smile, he doesn't even talk. In fact, Zhou has stopped doing everything; attending meetings, planning campaigns and even tutoring Xun. He now spends every day, every moment, waiting beside Xiao's bed side, praying and looking at her still form for any changes. Not that I blame him…after seeing what happened to her. My heart tightened as I remembered Xiao's pale, impassive face hidden under Zhou's robes as he lifted her onto their bed for the medics to examine her. It bore a ghostly resemblance to her distance when she first arrived at the palace. Although it was only a flash, it was a sight I cannot forget. I sometimes imagine what I would do if I was put in Zhou's position, but just the thought of losing Da paralysed my whole body with fear. I cannot even fathom the pain that Zhou endured.

_The day Xiao disappeared started just like any other day. Ning, Tong and I sparred in the training grounds, holding a mini tournament. Zhou was in his study of course, going through old case studies, explaining the strengths and weaknesses of each strategy used by the ancient war lords to a very interested Xun, who was absorbed in taking notes. Da and Xiao attempted (and failed) to teach Shang Xiang how to dance in the court yard. _

_It was truly a comical sight. My usually tomboy sister was in a dress and occasionally tripping over the long fabric, her arms twirling a fan about awkwardly. Unfortunately, Ning, Tong and I happened to be laughing as she turned. In her frustration she stormed into the training arena swinging her training chakrams round and round, with more force than usual. Feeling quite confident after our warm up, we challenged my flustered little sister. Well…we sure didn't expect the thrashing she dished out. As Zhou would put it, we had failed to take into account certain factors before facing our opponent. Namely, that a humiliation and rage fuelled Shang Xiang was scarier than usual! Needless to say, the three of us learnt the harsh lesson of never challenging her after a failed dance lesson. Da then tried to mollify the situation by suggesting that since it's been awhile since the weather has been fine, we should all go down to the market together later. On top of being the girls' personal escorts, we were to shout them to anything they wanted. Well this cheered Shang Xiang up considerably, and she and Da strolled off, whispering something about a new season wardrobe, with Tong and Ning following and complaining. _

_Xiao stayed behind, shuffling around uncomfortably, her hands behind her back._

_"Ce…umm…can we talk?"_

_This was a first for me. Although Xiao and I got along quite well, I've actually never seen her interact with anyone without Da by her side. _

"_Um, sure Xiao. What's on your mind?" I asked, putting away my training tonfas. Xiao looked down again, her face turning beet red. I scratched my head, looking around for help. Where was Zhou when I need him? _

"_Ce…well about the market….I just had an idea….I was just wondering…um…what kind of…you know, sweets does Zhou like?" Her voice turned so quiet that I strained to hear but the sight of her red face made the message obvious. I broke into a big grin. _

"_What's that Xiao? You're asking about what Zhou likes?" I asked loudly, prodding her with my elbow. Well, if she was red before then we need another adjective to explain the colour of her face now. _

"_Ce! Shhh!" She reproached, looking around, embarrassment and alarm in her eyes._

"_Hmm…let me think…" Folding my arms, my face pretended to be deep in thought while I watched her impatiently twirling her thumbs, her eyes eager and bright. _

"_Wait…it's coming to me! Wait…what was it again?"_

"_Ce!" in her fervour, her small hands shook my arm, her distressed face turning into a cute pout._

"_Oww! Oh man, you made me lost it! It was on the tip of my tongue!" I teased, laughing as her eyes widened with shock and regret. _

"_Aww, I'm so sorry Ce! I'll…I'll go get some ice for you!" I caught her small arm as she turned to leave._

"_Just kidding Xiao! Sorry, but your expression was so funny! Hmm, from as long as I could remember, Zhou has never expressed much interest in anything, let alone sweets…" I stopped for effect, successfully predicting Xiao's reactions. It's amazing how she still managed to look good as her face broke into disappointment, her brows contracted and her pout reappearing. "…but he may have mentioned once or twice that he likes red bean flavoured rice cakes…"_

_Xiao jumped up, her face brightening at once. "Red bean flavoured rice cakes…" she murmured to herself, her hands clasped together, "I know I've seen them in the market!" _

_I put my hands on her shoulder, leaning down so I can look at her at eye level. "Hey Xiao, do me a favour. Get Zhou out of his study will ya? He's been cooped in there too long. And between you and me, there is a pretty good stall by the river that sells red bean flavoured rice cakes…" I winked. Xiao jumped up hugged me tightly for a brief second, surprising me with her sudden openness._

"_Thanks Ce! Thank you so much!" She called, as she rushed towards Zhou's study, her face blooming into a rare smile. As I waved I suddenly felt a rush of gratitude towards Xiao for showing Zhou so much affection; and fate, for bringing the two together._

"_That was very sweet Ce. Thank you." Da walked towards me, a heart-stopping smile on her face, tears glistering in her eyes. I smiled back, folding her into a tight hug. _

"_Anytime, my love."_

"_By the way, how do you know Zhou's favourite snack? He doesn't strike me as the type that would divulge something private like that." She asked, curiosity burning in her eyes. I chuckled, cuddling her closer. _

"_I'm his brother, Da." I whispered in her ear. "Just like you know everything about Xiao, I know everything about Zhou." _

_Da laughed, her laugh as appealing as a wind chime swaying lazily in the summer breeze. "There you go again Ce, over-confident as always."_

_I just laughed back, silently thanking fate for making this perfect maiden in my arms, mine. _

_Red bean flavoured rice cakes. Of course they would be Zhou's favourite snack. It was a famed delicacy from his village after all. _

_Afterwards, I remember bumping into Xiao again, as she skipped towards the palace gates on her way to the market. She was very excited and thanked me again, saying something about how Zhou had promised that next time they would go together. I remember asking her if she wanted to go the markets later with us instead and we could go see the lanterns as well. _

_If only she had said yes._

_If only I had stopped her. _

_Xiao just smiled and told me about a babbling brook that Zhou took her to once and suggested that I bring Da there sometime. Then she was gone, giving me a cheery wave as she danced through the gates._

I heaved a long sigh. It has been two weeks since that day. Only two weeks. And now Xiao lies broken and lifeless on their bed, and Zhou on the floor beside her, broken hearted. But as much as I hate to admit it, and I hate myself for thinking this, but lifeless Xiao is better than hysterical Xiao. Though only marginally. Internally cringing at the memory, my mind drifted back to what happened just four days ago. The day I dub "the worst day of Zhou's life".

_It was supposed to be a good day. We had at last finalised the plans and embarked to He Fei Castle. Things went according to Zhou's flawless planning, and with only some minor delay, Zhou came back alive, with Xiao in his arms. But all the relief and happiness vanished as Zhou stormed back to the palace alone…where things turned from bad to worse._

_After we were briefed by the medics about Xiao's condition as they carried her to the bath chambers, I watched Zhou's face turn from red, to purple, to the point when all the blood seemed to be drained from his body. His knees caved in and he fell to a heap on the ground, his fist banging the textured carpet. Tears poured from his despair ravaged eyes, as his mouth wordlessly wailing "I'm sorry Xiao, I'm so sorry" over and over again. I know that my meaningless words of comfort and false hopes were nothing to him right now so I gave him a moment to himself. Giving myself something to do to not cry alongside him, I busied myself by ordering the servants to give us some privacy. After what felt like an eternity, Zhou suddenly stopped. He slowly climbed up, his voice hoarse._

"_Ce. I need to see Xiao."_

_I nodded; swallowing slowly at the sight of his swollen red eyes, praying that nothing else happened to Xiao for I think Zhou was already at the boundary line of sanity. I gently planted my palm on his shoulders, and led him towards the bath chamber. Neither of us spoke on the way there. The gravel underneath my foot crunched, breaking the silence. For once in my life I couldn't think of anything to say that would cheer him up, that would distract him. For once, Zhou dropped his guard and allowed me to see the extent his inner demons had devoured him, holding onto my arm as if I was his only support. He was just so vulnerable._

"_Hey Zhou, I just want you to know, I'll…I'll always be here for you, no matter what." As Zhou turned to look at me, I casually scratched my nose, not knowing what impelled me to say that. I hastily added "I know that it's not what you want to hear right now, but you've always been there for me, giving me strength so I thought, you know…" My face was reddening as I started to hear what Zhou might have heard in my words. "…I'm not suggesting anything weird, I just want you to know, that you know, I'm here to help…Man I'm so bad at doing this!" I broke off, embarrassed to the core. _

_Zhou's lips turned up slightly but his broken face still haven't loss the desolation._

"_You're right Ce. You are bad at this…"_

_Then we both broke off laughing, our despair and tension momentarily dissolving in our laughter._

"_Hey Zhou, I'm serious now." I said, wiping a tear from my eye. "I know this sounds clichéd, but I think Xiao will be okay. You know what they say: fate has a way of repaying those with kindness. And I know Xiao has a heart of gold, so she'll be fine."_

_Zhou's answering smile was more reassuring this time, his hope and faith slowly coming back to life. He tightened his grip on my arm. "Thank you, Ce. I hope…"_

_I never found out just what Zhou had hoped, for the next moment Xiao's piercing scream cut through the tranquil night sky. For a brief second, Zhou's grip on my arm tightened like a vice, his fleeting happiness stolen from him, leaving him with nothing. No lingering traces of hope or joy._

_Nothing._

_We rounded the corner. The maids standing in front curtseyed and tried to prevent us from entering. Well we were about to barge into a maiden trying to bathe after all. Forgetting what is proper, ignoring the consequences we faced for such loose display of morals, Zhou and I kicked down the flimsy bamboo screens and braced ourselves for hell._

_And hell it was._

_Xiao, at least I thought it was Xiao, was clad in nothing but a thin white robe, her entire body visible as the sodden fabric clung to her figure. I could even see the indistinct signs of long healed scars scattered about her body. Looking away before Zhou could kill me for catching sight of his exposed woman, I looked for my wife. _

_The sight of her made my jaw drop. Da was completely soaked to the bone; the saturated fabric of her long dress clung to her curves; her ebony hair, which had completely came undone from her customary plaits, stuck to her face. But what really made my blood boil was the distinct red mark across her face. I immediately rushed to her side but another piercing scream from Xiao spun me around, momentarily distracted. Her eyes were wide with fear; her neat light brown hair was a total mess, strands sticking up in weird angles. Her tiny fingers were woven into her hair, cradling her tear streaked face._

_Her head snapped up as our entrance caught her attention. Her whole body gave a spasm of alarm as her high pitched voice screeched incoherent words and sounds together._

"_Stay…Away…No…Don't…Touch…Me"_

_My heart sank._

_Xiao had lost her mind._

_Zhou, who was rooted on the spot at the sight of Xiao, slowly edged towards her, holding both his hands up, careful to not scare her. As soon as Zhou's fingers touched Xiao's cold skin she let out a shrill wail, swinging her arms widely about, her dainty legs quickly darting off, securing distance between her and Zhou. _

_Well, that explains Da's face. "Why you little…" I know that I was letting my emotions get the best of me, but the sudden fury that billowed out of me from knowing that Xiao had struck her older sister took over and before I knew it, I was on my feet and ready to grab a hold of Xiao and wring her petite neck. From the corner of his eye, Zhou saw my sudden movement. He darted forward and slammed me against a nearby shelf, the glass vials smashing on to the tiled floor. _

"_Don't you dare Sun Ce!" he bellowed. _

_Well that stopped me short. Zhou has not called me by my full name since we were children._

"_No Xiao! Don't!" As my beloved let out an awful scream, I whipped my head around. Xiao had crawled her way towards the broken glass, a particular large and jagged piece in her hand, which was held high above her head, a manic smile on her lips. As she thrust the glass towards her chest, I watched as if time had slowed down._

_Da, her palm and knees a bright crimson as she crawled through the broken shards of glass, cried out and reach towards her sister in vain. Shang Xiang, her face paper white, came running into the room, panting; her eyes widening as she saw the remainder of Xiao's life diminishing as the glass travelled towards her heart. Zhou, his quick reflexes hauled himself off me, shooting forward like an arrow and throwing himself onto Xiao, his arms reaching forward…_

_In a split second Xiao's white robes were blood red. Fear and confusion urged her as the glass dug deeper and deeper into Zhou's flesh. Tiny droplets blood trickled onto the once porcelain white tiles as the sharp edges tore at her palm but her inner demons ousted the pain, refusing to relinquish her hold. _

"_Xiao, are you hurt at all?" Zhou breathed; pain evident in every syllable but he refused to look away from Xiao's eyes. Using his free arm, Zhou gently cupped Xiao's cheek, wincing as she flinched away from him, her mouth opening as if she was about to scream again. "Shh…Xiao, it's alright." He cooed, closing his eyes momentarily as the pain from his arm threatened to engulf him. "I'm fine, as long as I know you're alright." He held up his free arm again, and this time Xiao did not flinch as Zhou slowly stroked her tear stained cheek; little by little, her hands released the glass, slumping to her side. Zhou's face broke into the first genuine smile I've seen in ages, relief sweeping away the pain. _

_Just when we were about to breathe a sigh of relief, Xiao suddenly gave another spasm of fear, both her delicate hands reached up and pushed Zhou away. As Zhou fell back, the movement tore at his wound, and he gave a shuddering gasp. Hearing his cry, Xiao jumped up and darted towards the door, her hair flying wildly behind her. _

"_Xiao!" Zhou cried as he tried to stagger up, but the loss of blood slowing his movements._

_Xiao was just about to reach the door as Shang Xiang dashed forward, swiftly tapping Xiao's nerves and joints at all the right places, and she crumbled to a heap on the floor, immobilised. Xiao looked up and swept an unfamiliar look of pure hatred towards Shang Xiang as Da rushed towards her aid, and I quickly scurried up to check up on Zhou. Servants rushed in immediately, a few patching up Zhou's wounds and the remainder proceeded to carry Xiao away._

"_Xiao…" _

_Zhou tried to pull himself up again, but I held him down, both my hands on his shoulders._

"_Listen buddy, I think this is all too much for her to take in at the moment. Give her until morning, ok?"_

_Zhou did not answer; he gave one last look at the servants who carried his wife, or what's left of her, back to the room they once shared. His dark head slumped against my shoulder until I felt his whole body collapse to a heap on the blood stained tiles._

_Zhou was unconscious. He too, had reached his limits. The servants gave a petrified scream and more rushed in, assembling a stretcher, carrying Zhou away. _

_The rest of the night passed in a blur. Xiao did not go without a fight; although she was immobilised, she screamed her throat hoarse and cried her eyes dry. I think Da resorted to drugging Xiao's medicine._

And that's how she remained, for the next four days. Doll like and unresponsive, as her silence slowly takes Zhou's life.

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Ha ha…the chapters just keep getting longer…

I've written up the next couple so as soon as my lovely Beta and I stop goofing off I should have them done.

Ne'how, reviews are very appreciated ^0^


	6. Memoirs of the Three Stooges  1

Hmm, what happened since the last time I posted a chapter you ask? Well, a big earthquake, that's what! Waking up to find all the dinnerware in my pantry broken is not a good way to start the day, and nor is not having power for the next two days particularly pleasant either! To top it off, all the shaking and tumbling snapped my Matsuri-version Rei Ayanami figure in half and ripped the arms off my Yuna play arts (which I was almost in tears to find!) and my perfect grade EVA -01 is now a pile of purple and black pieces of plastic mixed in with the remains of my Wing Zero and Deathscythe Hell. But overall, the nation pulled through and that's all that matters ^_^.

Anyway, the next few chapters are all subchapters of "Memoirs of the Three Stooges". Hmm…I wonder who the stooges are? (Ha ha, it's pretty obvious I think.) So, they are all flashbacks to fill the holes in the story so far, as such they don't really advance the story line. To be honest I really enjoy writing these memoirs, I think they're cute and moreover I think character development is essential. So before you flame me for the slow pace, please note that this is done intentionally to portray the passage of time from when they rescued Xiao, to her slow recovery (?), as I believe that mental scars takes time to heal.

I hope you enjoy the next few chapters as much as I did writing them!

Thank you heaps to **Sun Xiao, **the **SilentNinja **and of course **Ying, **for all your reviews and feedback. A special big thanks to **Ying** for all her patience in replying to my ultra long PM that on retrospective look, were just 12000 characters of grammatically incorrect crap and immature whinges! Cheers **Ying**!

**Disclaimer: Me no own….**

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**Memoirs of the Three Stooges **

**Ling Tong's Perspective **

So you want to know about my day do you? Are you sure you can handle it?

Well, before Xiao's disappearance I'd get up, get dressed and then go eat breakfast like everyone else. Oh, and usually, I'd go 'wake' up Ning, 'cos he's probably too hungover to do so himself. That dirty pirate would never change. Well, it's like what they say: a tiger never changes its stripes; a pirate would never change his undergarments. Ning's day consists of drinking and womanising. Oh and training too, I guess. How the slob intends to live his life, I don't know but one thing is certain is that stench and poverty will always follow a pirate.

Why do I harbour ill feelings towards Ning you ask? Well, long story short, he did kill my father. That's right. My father was the great and honourable general Ling Cao of Wu. I guess being so honourable does have its disadvantages. That's why Ning's dirty pirate-y tactics (if you can call it that!) managed to beat him.

It's amazing, a few months ago, I would never have been able to be in the same room as Ning, let alone eat and spar with him. Just his voice, no, the sound of his name drove me into bloodlust. My hands would itch to string my nun chucks around his filthy neck, watching with vindictive pleasure as his breath and time, were running out. I wonder if father would be ashamed of me, not avenging his death…befriending the enemy even. Heck, now Ning and I even go down to the market and the brothel together.

I guess I changed when I met her…Xiao.

"_Tong, do you honestly think your father would want you to spend your life hating Ning?"_

_She had her back to me. Her soft brown hair swayed in the summer breeze, her hands delicately behind her back._

"_Because I don't think so. I'm sure General Ling Cao would be upset seeing you tear yourself up like this. You crave the enemy's blood because he spilt the blood of your kinsmen. If you do so, others would then desire your blood in return. How long must we continue this hatred-filled waltz? If we keep justifying this pain, then pain is what will be reborn and is what we will suffer."_

_She gently touched the petals of the soft cerise camellia in her hands._

"_So tell me Tong, how can birth take place in a world where such pain and sorrow exist? How can such bloodshed bloom in the same world that creates such beautiful things?" _

_I shook my head in disbelief. The girl always has times for her silly riddles._

"_All life is precious, Tong. By sparing and forgiving Gan Ning, you would do more than avenge your father's death; you would gain a trusted ally, a loyal friend. And a life time of gratitude and pranking rights…" She broke off laughing, and running off to join Lord Zhou Yu, who was waiting for her just ahead of us._

Even with the benefit of hindsight, I still cannot believe that Xiao and pretty boy got hitched. When he publicly declared their love, I called his bluff. Whenever I see the subtle differences in the way he treated her, I wrote it off as the strategist fulfilling his diplomatic role by helping the younger Qiao get acquainted with the Kingdom. I saw the signs, I just didn't believe them. I remember hugging Ning, in hysterics, the day they announced their surprise wedding. They just seem so…different. Their aloofness was probably the only thing they had in common! But that's not the real Xiao, I'm sure. After spending time with her, I realised that her and Shang Xiang actually had a lot in common, though she tries to hide it behind the façade her father had forced on her.

The first time I saw Xiao, I admit that I fell for her, hard. Her father, Master Qiao Xuan brought the two girls to the palace for Lord Sun Jian's birthday celebration. That dirty rat of a father actually wanted to _give _his daughters to our lord as a 'token of his admiration'. Admiration my foot. The dirty rat merely wanted to please our lord in the hopes of getting favours, and he was selling his daughters to do it! Gross!

Luckily our Lord has more sense in that! He kindly refused, saying that when his wife passed away seventeen years ago, straight after giving birth to Shang Xiang, a piece of him died with her. He could therefore never allow himself to be with another woman, and it was sufficient knowing that his wife was in the Heavens watching over us.

Well, our Lord sure can put a nice spin on anything. If it was me, I'd just say it straight out: "You sick bastard! How do you expect me to be happy bedding someone who is my daughter's age? You self interested dog have no right to have children!"

I'm proud to say that at least MY lord has a decent set of morals. I heard that the dirty rat has offered the same girls to other famous Lords in the past. But for some reason, they all declined. The rumours must be true then, that the fearsome Lord of the North, Cao Cao of Wei has claimed primacy over the girls.

Anyway, when I actually got to see the girls, I was blown away.

_We were all at the dining chamber, eager to see the Beautiful Qiaos. All the generals had dressed up a bit; pirate-boy even took a bath beforehand! As the double doors to the dining chamber sprung open, we all held our breath, a silent countdown in our head._

_Three,_

_Two,_

_One,_

_Wow._

_Lady Da Qiao was in a long dress of a soft lilac, the little ruffles on her cuffs and collars were impressively embroidered with little pearls. A beautiful silk amethyst coloured band accentuated her tiny waist, making all the men in the room swallow loudly as she moved. She had also beautifully woven a camellia_ _into her twin braids, complementing her dress and bringing out the bright specks in her dark eyes. Lady Xiao Qiao was equally gorgeous. The long periwinkle blue dress rippled around her as effortlessly as water as she mimicked her older sister's graceful bows and greetings. Though she was slightly younger than Da, she was no less dazzling. _

_Before their dance, the two girls politely bowed to our Lord but as Xiao looked up, I distinctly saw the dread and weariness in her eyes before moving to their stances. I remember the rise in temperature of the room as these two magnificent women began to glide about, their brightly decorated fans making synchronised patterns. All eyes were on them. The servants were so mesmerised they'd forget that they were still serving tea and would leave the teapot suspended in mid air, hot tea flooding the table. The generals didn't notice though. They shuffled around, flushed, and you could hear the collective "gulp" as the girls' dresses fly up in their movements, exposing a bit of their stocking encased legs._

_The filthy pirate Gan Ning was absolutely smitten by these girls, and he kept scratching his head muttering "Damn, they're so hard to choose from!" under his breath. I glanced over to Lord Sun Ce. The expression on his face nearly made me burst out laughing. Though Lord Sun Ce usually displayed his feelings like an open book (well compared to Lord Zhou Yu I guess), I have to say that I've never seen that expression before. I guess the term "love sick puppy" really hits the mark in this situation as his eyes followed Lady Da Qiao around like a shadow. The message is pretty obvious: the Little Conqueror has marked his territory. _

_Mentally, I debated whether I should tell the pirate or not, as he is going to let his hormones go into overdrive soon._

_Hmm…should I?_

_Nah. _

_He'll be alright. As much as I hate to admit it, that stinking pirate actually looks fairly durable! I mean, the guy struts around, boasting his well defined abs. I'm sure he could take Lord Sun Ce on. Plus, our young lord won't kill him…he'll just rough him up a bit. And pirate-boy deserves a bit of hurt, as an interest payment for killing my Dad. _

_Ha ha, this turn of events would suit me quite well. If Lord Sun Ce takes out Gan Ning and goes for the Lady Da Qiao, wouldn't that leave the younger one ripe for my taking? My flawless plan just leaves one problem: pretty boy._

_Lord Zhou Yu has never had any problems capturing the attentions and hearts of women. All he has to do is turn around and let his eyes do all the talking. Then the women who were talking to me would simply stop mid sentence. And that's not the half of it. What is hideously unjust is that he WASN'T even trying!_

_Speaking of which, I guess I have to take back my previous statement, as the Qiaos have not caught everyone's attentions. Lord Zhou Yu, both arms folded, looked out of the window, as if the two beauties were not worth his interest. I can't believe the man! How can he actually find something more captivating than these two? Must be a pretty intense war strategy he's thinking about!_

_As the music reached a climax, something weird happened. Lady Xiao Qiao, who was sophisticatedly twirling around, suddenly dropped her fan. It didn't look like it slipped from her hand either, it looked as if her hand just let go. As it clanked against the tiles, her father swooped in like a bat and grabbed her forcefully by the wrist, pulling her down to a deep curtsey in front of our Lord._

"_You worthless, clumsy piece of filth! Look at what you've done! I'll see to you when we return home." He snarled; spit raining onto the Lady Xiao Qiao's face. _

_Wow, talk about overreacting. _

_All the girl did was drop her fan, like that warrants capital punishment! It's amazing, sneaky rat Qiao Xuan actually looks more like a crook when he is angry; his furry brows contracted with rage and a vein distinctively pulsing on the side of his face. Looking up, his diplomatic smile reappeared. "My sincerest apologies, my Lord. My youngest daughter, Xiao Qiao is a bit shy around strangers; please let her make it up to you." As he shot her a deadly glare, Lady Xiao Qiao quickly stumbled to the table, pouring tea with her shaking hands, then returning to serve it to our Lord tea on her knees. _

"_My child, please do get up. I am not mad at you." Shock besieged my Lord, as here right in front of him, was a girl no more than 17, all rights and dignity foregone at the whim of her father. As our Lord tried to pull Lady Xiao Qiao to her feet, her hands began to shake violently, the tea cup rocking unsteadily on the tray, hot tea began to tip out. In a blink of an eye, Lady Da Qiao's quick hands steadied the shaking tray, her eyes drilling into Lady Xiao Qiao's, her expression unreadable. I'm sure that I saw her subtlety shake her head._

"_I do apologise my Lord. It's not every day my sister and I serve tea to such a noble Lord, and Xiao and I have heard such heroic tales about you. Xiao is just very nervous to finally get to see the great Tiger of Jiang Dong, I hope you will forgive her." Da's pacifying smile eased the tension and our Lord inwardly gave a sigh of relief. _

"_There is nothing to forgive, my child. Lady Da Qiao, please help your sister up. Now Master Qiao Xuan, let us go enjoy the feast. "_

_Lady Xiao Qiao sneaked a glance at her father. After his silent approval, she inaudibly murmured "Thank you my Lord," before retreating back behind her father, where she stayed rooted as her father and the other Generals dined, her eyes on the floor. _

_As the night dragged on, and the formalities completed, I noticed that there was a queue to talk the sisters. Sneaky rat Qiao Xuan stood possessively beside them, eyeing each General, calculating their worth. Once ascertaining that the General was not worth his attention, he would rudely interrupt the conversation with "Sorry, but my daughters have not greeted Lord so-and-so, if you'll excuse us…" or bark orders to his daughters to fetch him tea. Finally I waited until Lord Sun Jian had called the sneaky rat to his side. According to pretty boy, sneaky rat Qiao Xuan had uncovered some valuable ancient literature while in the Kingdom of Shu, and he and our Lord were particularly interested in some of the manuscripts relating to historic warriors. Baring all his yellowing teeth as he grinned, the sneaky rat hurried off, calculating his potential revenue, leaving both the girls in peace. _

_Perfect timing if I do say so myself! I guess I owe pretty boy one._

"_Hi girls, mind if I sit with you for a m-moment?"_

_Damn my shaking voice. My voice never shook when I'm around women, ever! The two girls smiled mechanically at me, as if this was a natural reaction for men when they are around them._

"_It is our honour. I am Da Qiao, of Suiyang, and this is my sister Xiao Qiao. Forgive me but you are…?"_

_Seeing the Lady Da Qiao's lips move as she spoke was seriously one of the most exhilarating moments of my life. I was vaguely aware that they were waiting for an answer._

"_I'm…um Ling Tong, yeah that's right." I stumbled. Great, strike two for self confidence. They must think I'm foolish. "Ahem. It's a pleasure to finally get an opportunity to speak to you both. I uh…I am very honoured. " I ploughed on, trying and failing, to imitate pretty boy's chivalry when he spoke._

_The two girls laughed, making my heart skip a few beats. I'm sure they can see the dews of sweat on my face now._

"_Please don't be afraid of us, Master Ling Tong. It's been so long since we've spoken to men our age. Please, be yourself."_

"_Thanks Lady Da Qiao, I am forever in your debt! That boring, stiff way of talking really doesn't suit me!" I smiled as this caught Lady Xiao Qiao's interest; she shifted slightly, eager to watch the conversation unfold. _

"_By the way, I have a present for you girls." I've been dying to impress the ladies with my new "magic" trick. As my hands were making patterns in the air, attracting the attentions of the girls, my finger would sneak inside my sleeve and grab the daisies I have hidden there in advance. "Ta da, aren't they pretty? This one is yours, Lady Da Qiao, and this one is for the Lady Xiao Qiao." As my fingers touched the Lady Xiao Qiao's, I felt a zing like static electricity multiplied tenfold._

"_Thank you Master Ling Tong, though it seems that your sleeve has crushed the flowers somewhat. May I suggest that you, perhaps, try hair pins next time? Or something just as resilient."_

_Ah, Lady Da Qiao, attractive and intelligent. What a deadly combination!_

_Lady Xiao Qiao laughed, her hands over her mouth._

"_Master Ling Tong, I'll show you a "magic" trick of my own. I hope that next time you can have more luck with the ladies with this one."_

"_L-Lady Xiao Qiao!" Not only was it the first time I've heard her talk, her voice as sweet as I had imagined; but what she said was something that was so…unladylike._

"_When it's just us, Xiao is fine." Xiao placed her napkin over her unused tea cup and took out her artistically embroidered silk handkerchief. After twirling the fabric enticingly over the napkin, her enchanting eyes never leaving mine, Xiao slammed her tiny fist into the napkin._

"_Xiao! Are you alright" I exclaimed, expecting to see her delicate fist covered in fine china._

"_Of course I am, silly. I told you it's a magic trick didn't I?" She waved her hands which were indeed, without a scratch, impatiently; laughing at my bewildered expression._

"_How the heck did you do that? Where's the cup?"_

"_Forget about it Master Ling Tong. I've badgered Xiao about it for years, and she's never breathed a word about how she does it." Da joined in, laughing._

"_Xiao Qiao!"_

_Oh no, the sneaky rat is back, and he ain't happy._

"_What was all the commotion here? Was it you banging on the table? You disrespectful girl! We are the guests of Lord Sun Jian!" _

_As he continued screaming off the top of lungs, the crowd of Generals keen to see Xiao's magic trick quickly dispersed. Da's face no longer had the hint of laughter she had just a few moments ago. Xiao remained impassive throughout. I guess she's used to this kind of treatment. How sad, that this was normal for her._

_He turned onto me. "And You! It's the Lady Xiao Qiao, thank you very much. How dare you address her by her name?"_

_Wow, the look he gave me says it all: I was not worth his attentions, not worth his daughter. If he would give me the look of pure despise, I wonder what look he'd reserve for the half naked pirate!_

"_Father, please stop it. I told him to call me Xiao."_

_As her father lunged forward, shaking her, the tea cup that had supposedly 'disappeared' came rolling down her dress, smashing on to the tile into a million pieces. His eyes widened for a millisecond then…_

_*Crack*_

_Her father's palm slashed across her face, as loud as a crack of a whip, the force pushing her off her chair and onto a heap on the floor. Da immediately leaped on top of Xiao, shielding her younger sister's body with her own against her father's incoming blows. _

_Shock and resentment escalated at the sight of this man, hurting and embarrassing his daughter in public like that. Did he not care about her physical wellbeing, let alone how this would damage her reputation? I was just about to give him a piece of my mind when… _

"_Leave her alone! Can't you see that you're hurting them?"_

_Shang Xiang, princess of the Wu kingdom, stood up, her chair crashing onto the floor. Her eyes were burning with the fires of hell. Shang Xiang had grown up under the love and protection of her father and brothers, so she has always been very vocal about women's rights. Of course she cannot tolerate this level of degradation._

"_Master Qiao Xuan, please refrain from this inapt behaviour within our kingdom. Your daughters, they are women are they not? You should not treat them with such gestures of cruelty." _

_Lord Sun Ce stepped forward, authority in his voice. After helping both girls up, he stood protectively in front. The Little Conqueror indeed._

"_And just who are you? I have every right to discipline my children! A country has laws; a family has rules. You stick your nosy beak out of my business."_

"_My apologies, Master Qiao Xuan. It would seem that I had forgotten to introduce to you my son." Lord Sun Jian strode over, standing alongside Lord Sun Ce, shielding the girls from the heartless monster. "This is my son, Sun Ce, heir to my throne and the next emperor of the Wu Kingdom."_

_Ha, the sneaky rat's eyes bulged, his knees dropping into a deep bow, shaking pathetically._

"_F-f-forgive me Lord Sun Jian, Lord Sun Ce…I was only…"_

"_Lord Sun Jian. The hour is late; may I suggest that Master Qiao Xuan and the Ladies Da Qiao and Xiao Qiao stay at our humble kingdom for the night? It would not do to let our guest travel in the dark, it is unsafe." Pretty boy stood up, speaking for the first time tonight. His cold eyes swept across the sneaky rat, lingering on the younger Qiao, who stared determinedly at the floor._

"_Excellent plan, Zhou Yu." Lord Sun Jian laughed, breaking the tension. "Now Master Qiao Xuan, please accept our hospitality. It is unsafe especially for your daughters to be outside at this hour. Shang Xiang!" He called; the tomboy princess immediately skipped to his side, eying her father's guest with disgust. "Please escort the Ladies Da and Xiao Qiao to their rooms." _

"_My lord." Pretty boy bowed. "May I suggest lodging the Ladies in the east wing? It is the closest to Princess Shang Xiang's chambers, and I'm sure they would prefer female company. Ling Tong, please have the servants prepare the finest rooms in the west wing for Master Qiao Xuan. That way, my Lord, it gives you plenty of opportunities to look over those manuscripts Master Qiao Xuan was talking about." _

I have to say I was, and still am, amazed at pretty boy's ability to think on his feet, coming up with the flawless way like that to isolate the girls from danger. Well, they didn't make him our strategist for nothing!

And after that, things really started to roll. Sneaky rat Qiao Xuan practically sold Da off to Lord Sun Ce, after securing many privileges and gold of course. At first my Lord Sun Ce was repulsed by this idea. Sure, he absolutely adored the older Qiao, but he felt it was degrading for her, to be valued and traded as an object.

But the Lady Da Qiao didn't mind.

She took his hand, thanked him for being the first person to value her for whom she is, and told him that she would happily endure any suffering and humiliation because fate has brought him to her side. Afterwards, we saw what we all know to be (and what he absolutely denies) tears sparkling in Lord Sun Ce's eyes. He captured her in a tight hug then spun her round and round, yelling "She's my wife! She's mine," announcing to the whole kingdom, his joy. Then they both collapsed onto the floor, laughing and kissing.

And that's how we managed to get the girls to stay in our kingdom, where the overnight accommodation turned to a few weeks, and now, till death do the couples part.

_Till death do us part…_

I sighed. A flash of Xiao's hysterical scream, her lifeless form sprawled on the bed snaked into my mind.

At the rate Xiao is going, it may indeed, be soon.

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Yes, yes, I know that I probably got the home town of the Qiaos completely wrong…I just used the town that their father came from good old Wikipedia…I can see the **SilentNinja **itching to backhand me for that ^0^!

And I know that I said in Da's chapter that Xiao's father would never hit her across the face, for fear that would discount her worth. I just need to clarify that he would not hit her across the face with his bamboo cane, but at times when he couldn't use his cane, he thinks that his good old fist would do...


	7. Memoirs of the Three Stooges  2

This chapter is dedicated to the lovely **xLiesOfLovex**, in celebration for the completion of the prologue of her wonderful new KH fic! I have particularly enjoyed beta-ing it and the best of luck for the future chapters!

**Disclaimer: don't own it…yup.**

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**Memoirs of the Three Stooges - 2**

**Gan Ning's Perspective**

Well, the whole friggin palace seems to be in mourning, the way everyone is so quiet lately. Lord Sun Ce rarely comes to training, and on the odd times that he does, he lamely swings his tonfas around, allowing me to get a hit at him. The first few times it was quite funny, but then the novelty of it wore off and it was just plain annoying!

Da Qiao, or 'Foxy Da' to me, no longer brightens my day with her soothing personality and killer legs. I remember when I sent her a love letter of my own. Instead of fluffing around with poetic crap like everyone else, I just told her straight out:

_Dear Lady Da Qiao,_

_I think you're fine!_

_Yours truly,_

_Gan Ning._

She responded surprisingly well. Coming to find me in the dining chamber before we ate, laughing, and she even said that it was the most creative love letter she had ever received. However, even though she was real honoured and all, her future was something that was not within her control. Her sincere apologetic smile captured my attention, and for once, I found that I was not ogling her chest.

It's been so long since I could do that and quite frankly, I miss it. I hardly see her anymore, for she now haunts Zhou Yu and the twerp's rooms, a frown that doesn't suit her permanently engraved onto her once smiling lips. To think that a few weeks ago, I was more concerned about how to get her to show a bit more skin when she danced!

I no longer expect spiders in my pork bun and newts in my wine. I even miss the occasional traps (you know, the carefully hidden net that springs up, lifting the unsuspecting victim upside down by the ankle off a tree) that would take me all morning to get out off. Shang Xiang and Tong have stopped playing pranks on me, their conversations now are almost as boring as attending Zhou Yu's strategic direction seminars.

But I think the biggest change is in Zhou Yu and the twerp. Why do I say that you ask? Well, it's friggin obvious! They're both ghosts now; never leaving their rooms, never doing anything. Not that they were social butterflies before but I gotta say even corpses look happier than them most days. Zhou Yu wouldn't respond to anything I say, not even when I suggested that we go to Wei and kick Cao Cao's unworthy arse. Heck, he even stopped holding those friggin' seminars (which I'm not complaining about as those things were a real big pain in the hind). His face is now a cold mask, only showing signs of life when there is a rare movement from the twerp. And the twerp…well, sometimes I wonder if she is still alive. It's actually quite scary; her eyes are open and her breaths steady and everything, but I doubt she actually notices anything anymore.

The palace had the gloomy atmosphere that was so intense you could even taste it, not unlike my first days here actually. When I first got to the palace, let's just say, I wasn't the most popular guy around. And I certainly wasn't second either! At first I thought they were all jealous of my abs of steel, but then again, I think that it may have something to do the fact that I just killed this guy, Ling Cao. Yup, his son, Ling Tong wasn't very happy with me! I swear his training nun chucks would narrowly miss my head numerous times during training (and Lord Sun Ce and Shang Xiang would always claim to not have seen it) and he was always prowling around the kitchen, making me resort to drinking from my personal hip flask.

Then suddenly it all changed.

_One day he came up to me, declaring that so long as I am a competent soldier and an asset to Wu, then he has no problems with me. Then he shuffled off, muttering something about his entitlement to a lifetime of gratitude and pranking rights. And the pranking started the very next day! My room was destroyed by a flock of sheep (leaving me to deal with the residual wool and sheep crap for a whole two days after) and the day after that, my trusty stash of alcohol was up in flames. The pranks went from bad to worse once Ling Tong recruited the help of Sun Shang Xiang. It's amazing that that girl is even a princess! Which in my opinion, I think even Lu Xun has more hopes! The way she drinks and the way she acts, I swear she is more like a bar maid sometimes. She was a demon on the training ground and her pranks could make even Zhuge Liang bow in admiration. And, if Shang Xiang was in on this, that usually means that the cunning Lu Xun definitely has a part! This would explain why the pranks are getting meaner, and more complicated! _

_After a particular nasty prank (which explains why here I am, sitting alone in the Wu palace garden, covered from head to toe in pig crap), I decided that "I'm so sad" Ling Tong and the princess were going to get what's coming. But after two solid hours of racking my brains, I don't even know where to begin. That's when I spotted my saviour: the demon in angel's clothing._

_Xiao Qiao, or twerp as I called her in my head, skipped down the garden path towards the library, her elfin hands swinging childishly by her sides. Ever since her and her sister came to the palace, it's rare that you would see them separated, and even more so to see the usually sullen Xiao in such a good mood. Seeing me, still covered in crap, she broke into a giggling fit._

"_Hey twerp, could ya give me a hand here?" I called, not really expecting an answer. You usually communicated to the twerp via Foxy Da._

_She tilted her head, a playful twinkle in her eyes._

"_Okay, I guess…" _

_Wow, that was totally unexpected! _

_She walked over, her long dress billowing behind her. "Oh my gosh, Ning. They really went all out with the pig faeces! And I only suggested a bucket full!"_

"_This was your idea?" I spluttered, feeling my insides drop._

"_Uh huh. Oh, and tomorrow, I would avoid the shu mai if I was you. You might find an unpleasant surprise…" She broke off, back in her giggling fit again._

_Wow, my mental image of the graceful, cold as ice Lady Xiao Qiao was shattering in my head as fast as lightning. Her pranks made Shang Xiang looked tame! She was the perfect person to ask._

"_So uh, twerp, I need your help to get back at Tong and Shang Xiang."_

_She thought about it for a second. "Hmm…well I guess I'm sort of responsible, and the occasional prank may be good for Tong and Shang Xiang… But he's waiting for me." She smiled slightly, walking back towards the path, turning her head back to me as she spoke. "I'll be right back, Ning."_

_And then she gathered her long dress in her arms, breaking into a run down the path. As she turned the corner, another figure walked briskly around, and the two collided._

"_Oww…I'm so sowwy." The twerp's words muffled as she rubbed her nose. "Are you alwight?" _

"_Xiao! That's where you are!"_

_It was rare to see Zhou Yu out of the library or his study except for meal times. And even then he hardly came and ate. _

"_Are you hurt? Let me have a look at your nose." Cradling her face gently with both his hands, he bent slightly, his eyes tenderly swept across her lovely face. Staring much longer than necessary, taking all of her in, he leaned forward and murmured softly: "It's a bit red, but you still look wonderful to me."_

_Her answering smile was breathtaking. Her hands clamped over his, her eyes closed, savouring the moment. She gently lifted herself on to her toes, bringing her face just inches from his, her lips slightly parted. He smiled in return, closing his eyes as he slowly lowered his head towards her fair one…_

_Well…this is awkward. _

_I didn't know these two had a thing going on! They've never hinted anything, were never the subject of gossips. And now, the two lovebirds were so enthralled in their own world, they have completely forgotten about me!_

"_Ahem…Umm…well don't mind old Gan Ning here covered in crap…you two keep going."_

_Ha, my voice sure gave them a jolt of surprise. They both jumped and Zhou Yu quickly released the twerp, whose eyes shot open, her cheeks reddening. _

"_Lady Xiao Qiao, Gan Ning." Zhou Yu greeted with a curt nod, all the tenderness gone from his eyes, his usual composure reappearing._

"_Lord Zhou Yu," the twerp began in a sing-song voice, refreshingly different from her normal monotone. Boy, I guess this explains why she's in a good mood. "Gan Ning wants my help to plan a grand prank on Tong and Shang Xiang. Since you're not doing anything right now, care to join us?"_

_My jaw dropped. Man, the twerp has balls of steel! Not many people dared to talk to the reticent strategist, let along joke around with him._

"_Well Lady Xiao Qiao, this sounds like an intriguing idea. What do you have planned so far?"_

_Okay…totally wasn't expecting that!_

_Dumbfounded, I stood there wondering if this was a dream. First, the twerp was in an ultra happy mood, talking to me, smiling even. Second, the strategist was out and about in broad day light, and I swear I even saw a hint of a smile on his lips. Third, the coldest couple in the kingdom whom I thought had emotions of a rock, nearly kissed right in front of me, and that's not all. Now they have both agreed to help me prank Tong. _

_Whoa. I gotta stop drinking during the day._

"_Well, let me see…" _

_She skipped up to him, whispering in his ear excitedly._

_After a solid hour of plotting with the strategist, who looked just as confused as I am, wondering why he was using his intellect to do this; two hours of preparation and another hour for the twerp and Foxy Da to scrub me down completely, we were ready._

_According to the twerp and Zhou Yu, I was to act as the bait. Sitting under the great walnut tree in the eastern gardens, I was told to give my best enactment of my famous 'clueless' look. To be honest I was quite offended at first as they were referring to my normal expression! But beggars can't be choosers, I guess. I just gotta know to watch my back around the twerp, now that I've seen her true self. She is not one to mess with, especially if she has Zhou Yu to cover her back. _

_My sweat dropped._

_Life in the Wu Kingdom will be hell indeed if I ever have the misfortunate to cross that unlikely couple._

_After about ten minutes, I found my targets. Tong, Shang Xiang and Lu Xun walked across the gardens, huddled together closely, no doubt scheming another prank._

"_I'd say we use rats, everyone hates them." Shang Xiang suggested, suppressing a shudder._

"_Nah, the guy's a pirate. God knows what he does when he's at the sea. They say that when sailors get bored, they…"_

"_That's enough Tong, you're among the presence of a lady." Lu Xun rebuked, frowning slightly._

"_Fine then oh mighty Lu Xun, what's your plan then?"_

"_I say we strike him where it hurts the most. He was a pirate was he not? So what do pirates cherish the most?"_

"_You're sick man! You're so thinking about the rats!"_

"_Tong, get over it. So Xun, what's your plan?"_

"_Well, pirates cherish their vessel above all else. I say we find where he's kept it and…"_

"_And we tag it bad! Oh my gosh Xun, you're a freakin genius!" Tong clapped Lu Xun on the shoulder._

"_Xun! Tong is right! No wonder Zhou has so much faith in you! But how will we find it? There are so many ports in the kingdom." Shang Xiang queried, her finger on her chin._

"_Well Shang Xiang, I've been keeping track of his receipts and expenditure while he's out and I think I've narrowed it down pretty well." _

"_Excellent! We should so set off immediately! I'll get the paint and Shang Xiang, I can trust you to get the pig poo?" Tong plotted, rubbing his hands._

"_Leave it to me! Oh, and we should get Xiao to come with us as well. She's never seen the ocean before, she'll be so excited!" The tomboy princess stopped in her tracks. "Hold up, look." She pointed to where I sat, open and vulnerable against the trunk of the tree. "We can't let this opportunity slip by now can we guys?"_

"_Well, I always carry this bottle of ink with me just in case…" Lu Xun said in an undertone, while Tong and Shang Xiang coughed "Nerd"._

"_Shall we?"_

_As the three tip toed over, I marvelled at Zhou Yu's foresight. He predicted that greed would lure these three over, and we were ready._

"_Ha ha Gan Ning! Gotcha….AH!" _

_I watched with satisfaction as the smug faces of Lu Xun, Shang Xiang and Tong warp into utter shock as the ground underneath them collapsed, swallowing them up in a giant crater. Well, Zhou Yu and I didn't spend two hours digging for nothing! Then the twerp lobbed buckets and buckets of water in there, making the soil turn into sludge. The twerp and Zhou Yu then covered the hole up with dried branches and leaves; the twerp giggling and blushing every time her hand accidently brushed against Zhou Yu's. After the fifth time, I swear she was doing it on purpose. In no time our trap was camouflaged as perfectly as a frightened chameleon. Our plan couldn't have worked any better._

_The twerp came out of hiding, laughing and dragging a self-satisfied Zhou Yu by the arm._

"_Ha ha! Tong, Shang Xiang, Xun, you guys look worse than Gan Ning did!"_

"_An eye for an eye if I do say so myself." Zhou Yu added, nodding his head._

_Ha! They sure didn't expect who I had for helpers! Eyes bulging, all the trio could do is gawk at the stone cold strategist, perched smugly on the edge. _

"_Zhou…you were in on this?" Shang Xiang spluttered, spitting the mud from her mouth._

_He looked up at the walnut tree._

"_Ah, and it's the perfect season too." In the blink of an eye, he took out his sword which was still within its s__cabbard__ and began knocking the tall branches of the tree. Spiky walnuts rained down, pelting the unsuspecting trio, their screams like music to my ears. Revenge has never been sweeter, even in the absence of bloodshed. This is definitely a first for me._

"_Hey Tong," I called, holding out my hand. "I just want you to know that I'm real sorry about your Dad. We got off on a bad start but we're even now…right?"_

_His mud covered hand reached for mine, the smile that always disappeared when I'm around appeared slowly on his face. Suddenly, he gave a hard yank, pulling me by the arm. Plugged face first into the mud, my legs kicked wildly about as I wondered how I got myself into this predicament._

"_Ha Ning, 'now' we're even."_

_Both him and Shang Xiang lifted me free by my arm pits, and after a moment of looking at how ridiculous we looked, we collapsed, laughing; our mutual hatred dissolving in our laughter. _

_Zhou Yu gave a rare laugh, patted the twerp gently on the head and turned to walk back towards the library._

"_Lu Xun, don't forget we still have lessons in fifteen minutes." He called to Xun, who was now struggling to get out of the sludge to join his tutor. Leaving muddy foot prints behind him, Xun hurried off, Zhou Yu waiting in the distance._

_The twerp looked at Zhou Yu's disappearing figure; her indulgence smeared with specks of disappointment._

"_Hey twerp." I called, waking her from her reverie._

_She looked down into the pit, eyes glistering with remnants of the emotions they held for the strategist. I looked back down at the mud, suddenly taken aback by the urge to cuddle her. _

"_I just wanted to say thanks…" _

"_Don't think much about it Ning, I happy to help out you and Tong."_

"_How about this twerp, as thanks, I'll take you for a ride on my ship."_

_Her eyes gleamed with excitement. "Really? You mean you'll take me to see the ocean?" She spun around, her hands clutched in front of her. "Thank you Ning, thank you!"_

"_Hey twerp, calm down! It's only the ocean!" I was amazed by her sudden cheerfulness; I didn't know the twerp had such fascination with the sea! I guess I've seen the azure wilderness too many times to see the attraction._

"_Hey Xiao," Shang Xiang finally managed to clamber out of the mud pit. "Why do you like the sea so much? All it does is make you seasick."_

"_Yeah Xiao, don't tell me you're after the pirate's treasure." Tong laughed, climbing out after Shang Xiang. _

"_Well…not really." Hesitantly, she lowered her hands and opened her palm. Inside was a beautiful pearl white shell, the edges coloured a coral pink. "Because I have already found my treasure."_

I never got round to asking Xiao the significance of the shell. But it's not like I can now. And not that it matters now. Helplessness ravaged my insides, to the extent I nearly gagged.

I really can't do anything, can I?

I can't turn back time and ease Tong's pain. Pain that although our warped friendship has numbed somewhat, will continue to haunt him until he or I die. If that happens, would he mourn my death as a friend, or as celebration to the end of this blood feud? Would I breathe a sigh of relief when I see his mangled body? Or would I feel…sorrow…regret, emotions I have never felt before.

I can't save Zhou Yu from the despair that tore at him. Every breath taunted him, every second despise refused to loosen its relentless hold on him. Every glimpse of the twerp comforted and wounded him. He knows that his futile vigil by her side was not doing her any good; he knows the whole kingdom is pending on him for their coming campaigns. But he can't help it, poor guy. I can see his legs automatically taking him to their rooms, his eyes habitually scanning her unchanged features, tears rolling down his face.

I can't brighten Foxy Da's day, like she does mine. My empty words of optimism wound her, making her reflexive forced confidence and relief sound false even to my ears. She reminds me of how she was when they first arrived in the kingdom. The "graceful Lady Da Qiao", the forged mask covering the concerned sister eagerly awaiting the revival of her dear little sister.

But above all else, I can't even help the girl, whose kindness melted the hatred Tong felt towards me; to wake up from this horrible nightmare.

Is this the helplessness that my enemy felt as they heard the jingle of my signature bells, the swish of my sword? Could this be the sin that I Gan Ning, the feared pirate of the seas, cannot erase? Could this be my penance for all the crimes that I have committed?

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Ok, I initially wanted to release all three chapters together, but I am still in the process of fixing up the next one so yea…I lied -_-;"

Please read and review! They will make me all so happy!


	8. Memoirs of the Three Stooges 3

This chapter is dedicated to the totally awesome **Sun Xiao**. A big thanks for all your reviews right from the first few chapters! I know that you're not a big ZY/XQ fan, but hopefully you'll like this chapter (and I'm doing my best to 'convert' you)!

Also thanks to the lovely **Ai **for reviewing! Chapter 1 (or 2) of your KH fic was awesome!

Many thanks to **Dia **as well! Yay! First time reviewer! I hope you will continue to like this fic...and continue to review it! As for Xiao's future…hmmm….you'll just have to wait and see~~ (Please don't hit me! ^0^)

And thank you so much, **Ying**, for your very encouraging message! I'll look forward to your review!

**Disclaimer: DW belongs to Koei but the plot line is 100% Yukage (Hence the fluff and Sap).**

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**Memoirs of the Three Stooges – Part 3: Lu Xun**

The breeze whirled the auburn leaves around the courtyard. Must be autumn. I've stopped my track of the seasons, of time in general actually. I now live in my new found fear. My Master Zhou Yu had shown me that man was capable of feeling such pain, and now I fear for those around me. If the man that had taken the Lady Xiao Qiao had took Shang Xiang away into the deepest pits of hell, the Bronze Bird Pavilion, would I have disregarded my superiors, all my rational thoughts, to get her back? Shang Xiang is like a…sister I've never had, a friend that I don't deserve. My reason for waking up and doing what I do.

Of course I would. To save her from harm I would go to hell and back, if necessary. Protecting her like her brothers have done for the last 18 years has become my life mission, the reason I stuck to my rigid routine, leaving no moment wasted. But now, my usual routine has been shot to hell. To be honest, I enjoyed living on a schedule.

When the sun has barely risen from the east, bringing a faint shade of orange to the night sky, I'd get up and ready myself to dine in the dining chamber with everyone else. Afterwards comes sparring in the training grounds, usually with my Master Zhou Yu or Shang Xiang, and then the rest of the day would be spent in the library, Master Zhou Yu's study or in Lord Sun Jian's office, brushing up on my studies or attending conferences. I was with my Master Zhou Yu for the majority of the time. He would patiently teach me the merits of each strategy, and we would then have debates over whether an ambush or a fire attack was more appropriate. Before I knew it, it was dinner time. Master Zhou Yu and I were usually too absorbed in our debates that we would forgo eating, and I would be faint with hunger by then. But my Master Zhou Yu hardly ever came to dine with us. He would remain in the study, bent over complicated maps of the region, tapping his abacus speedily to calculate the most efficient route for the upcoming campaign. I really worry about him sometimes, about how his workload damages his wellbeing. I know it was his responsibility to ensure the safe journey of our troops, but I don't think it should be at the expense of his health.

Shang Xiang would always haul me over the coals for being so uptight. It was "too Zhou", she says. I needed to be more spontaneous and she was the perfect person to teach me how. I don't know why but every time I look into her emerald eyes, my justifications, my reasoning would all disappear, and next thing I know, I'm pulling pranks with her and Tong!

I shook my head. I wonder what my tutor would think. Me, using my knowledge, the knowledge he has helped cultivated, on silly pranks on another Wu soldier. Having said that Master Zhou Yu cannot really say much, considering the mean prank him and the Lady Xiao Qiao played on us. I asked him about it, afterwards. He didn't say much but mentioned that the Lady Xiao Qiao was very persuasive. Looks like Master Zhou Yu and I have more in common than our interest in literature, which is comforting.

The Lady Xiao Qiao…

Her kindness, and at times, naivety, has helped changed many paths. Tong and Ning's grudge was resolved with a hole and mud, negating the necessity of bloodshed. Shang Xiang looks much happier now that she has another female companion to pull pranks and occasionally do girly things with. Lord Sun Ce looks after the Lady Xiao Qiao as if she was his own little sister. I guess that even though Shang Xiang loved her older brother dearly, she never liked to appear weak by being "protected".

My Master Zhou Yu… well what can I say? He lives with a purpose now. The Lady Xiao Qiao was his sun in the day, his moon at night. For that, I am eternally grateful to her. I once accidently walked in on them, an embarrassing moment that still raises the colour of my cheeks when I think about it. The day that I found out the meaning of 'true and undying love'; love that I have read about numerous times, but have never seen in real life. I had always thought of marriages and relationships as means of negotiation, no more, no less.

_I had finished my essay about the ancient ancestors of the Wu Kingdom and I wanted my Master Zhou Yu's opinion on it. It was late, but knowing him, he'd still be in his study, working. I even went down to the kitchens and sneaked some steamed vegetable buns the chef had just made for tomorrow's breakfast. I know that my Master Zhou Yu would be hungry; he didn't come to dinner again._

_As I walked down the empty corridor, I was vaguely aware of how daunting the deserted corridor looked in the moonlight. The silhouette of flickering lights outside my master's study confirmed my assumption. He was still awake. I quickened the pace, eager to surprise him. But as I heard a woman's voice, I stopped dead in my tracks; the buns nearly tumbling out of my hands in surprise. My Master Zhou Yu has never been seen enjoying the presence of a woman, let alone invite them into his sanctuary. I know I shouldn't be eavesdropping on private matters but curiosity got the best of me. I hugged myself as close to the door as possible, my ears prickling up to hear their muffled conversation. _

"…_Zhou, you shouldn't hurt yourself like this. I know the campaign is important, but you are worth more to the Lords Sun Jian and Sun Ce if you're alive and functioning properly, you know." _

_It was the Lady Xiao Qiao!_

_That has got to be the most I've heard her speak and never had I heard such passion and tenderness in her voice!_

_Curiosity took over as I dampened my finger with my saliva, allowing it to noiselessly pierce through the flimsy paper shades on the door. Feeling more like a spy than I ever did, I threw my good conscience to the back of my mind and peeked through the makeshift spy hole._

_What I saw made me stifle a gasp; both my hands flew to my mouth, mashing the buns into the parchment that was my essay. _

_My Master Zhou Yu's study looked completely different. The desks and book shelves were all pushed roughly against the wall, leaving a clear area in the centre of the room, just enough room for the colourful silk cloth in the middle, and several empty plates from the basket that I presume the Lady Xiao Qiao had brought over. The Lady Xiao Qiao knelt in the middle of the room, my master's head atop her slim lap. _

"_But I have to say, I quite enjoy this. I still got to go on the picnic I wanted to go with you today." She giggled, affectionately stroking the dark patch underneath his tired eyes. "Who knew that your office made such a fine picnic spot? Maybe I should do this more often!"_

"_It would be my pleasure." My master had opened his eyes, shining with emotions I've never seen before. Capturing her hand, he brought it to his lips. The Lady Xiao Qiao flashed a luminous smile as his lips lingered against her creamy white skin. Tucking the loose strands of hair behind her ear with her free hand, she bent down; capturing my master's parted lips with her own. They remained like that for a while. What started as a gentle kissed deepened as my master's fingers threaded through the Lady Xiao Qiao's long hair, their breaths quickening. Without breaking their kiss, he manoeuvred to a sitting position so that she was cradled between his strong arms and legs. Panting slightly, she broke their kiss, hiding her head in his chest as he continued to rain kisses down her face and neck. _

_Go Lu Xun! Have you no shame? I yelled at myself. Curiosity and righteousness raged inside me. I yanked myself away from the offending peephole, eager to be back in my room, anywhere, so long as I do not betray my favourite tutor anymore than I already have._

_The Lady Xiao Qiao cleared her throat, stopping my heart. Have they found me? Panic exploded as I racked my brain to find legitimate reasons to be here. _

_The essay! That's right; I came here to hand in my essay!_

_I looked down at the soiled parchment. The sauce from the bun had blurred the once meaningful characters together; blocks of black ink and spots of brown sauce was now the remains of my week's hard work. I began to turn around. My only alibi was ruined, so I might as well go back to my room and start over. My feet were half way from the first steps back to my room when the Lady Xiao Qiao spoke._

"_Zhou…" She began, wavering slightly, her head still against his chest. "I'm so glad I had the fortune to meet you, to fall in love with you, to be loved by you. I wish this could continue on forever, and even then I do not think an eternity is long enough. I will always remember and cherish my time with you, no matter where I am, or what I become."_

_The distinct hint of melancholy in her voice killed my earlier resolve to return to my room and the remaining of my good morals. I spun back around; my eyes glued to the little area of vision provided by my peephole. My Master Zhou Yu pulled back, a perplexed expression on his face, as he tried to interpret the Lady Xiao Qiao's words._

"_Xiao…?" His voice shook slightly as she continued to stare at her hands, which was now on her knees. I have never seen my master so lost for words. All his life, he was able to anticipate unexpected events that might occur on the battlefield and mitigate their impact in advance. This was definitely a bolt from the blue for him._

"_But I've been selfish." She looked up, blinking the tears that were clouding her vision. "If I loved you, truly loved you, then I will not put you through this."_

"_Xiao…" He tried again, fear and urgency now unmasked in his voice._

"_I…I am going to set things right, Zhou. Tomorrow, I shall leave with my father. We have overstayed our welcome. Da and Ce are finally married; there is no longer a reason for my being here." She looked at him directly now, her tears soaking her once smiling face. "I came here tonight to tell you this." Wiping her cheeks with her sleeve, she shook herself out of my master's hold and onto her feet. He was deep in shock; his hands not even attempting to resist her, they simply fell limply at his sides. _

"_Goodbye, Zhou. And thank you for everything."_

_As she walked away from my unmoving tutor, my conscience begged me to stop her, to check on him, anything! But the sudden change in events rooted me on the spot. Desire to return to my room stormed me again, though for a completely different reason. Watching my tutor's heart being ripped out was like watching my own heart, drenched in blood, beating right in front of me._

_I cannot allow this to happen. _

_As I readied to kick open the door, my Master Zhou Yu made a sudden movement. Getting up swiftly, he grabbed her hand, bringing the Lady Xiao Qiao to a halt, though she did not turn around to acknowledge him. Her tears now showered onto the floor from her face, which was determined to not look back. _

"_Lord Zhou Yu, please let go of me. This is how it should be; our paths should have never crossed from the beginning. This is the cruel twist that fate has for prepared for us: to let us fall in love, and take each other away. "_

"_Xiao…why? Why are you doing this? We have come so far, achieved so much. Have faith, Xiao…in me, in us." _

"_But there is nothing we can do. I cannot belong to you, no matter how much I might want to. I…I belong to the Lord Cao Cao. They have made a contract; my father has already signed my life away. "_

_Her voice shook as she spoke of the fearsome lord. At this my master's free hand clenched tightly, cold fury burning in his eyes. "He does not own you, Xiao. Not at long as I am alive, and I will keep fighting to secure your freedom."_

"_But you can't. I don't want to be like the Lady Diao Chan. I don't want to be the cause of a war. I cannot be responsible for so much bloodshed, so many lost lives. I cannot be the one who spills your blood. If anything happened to you Zhou, I will be right behind you."_

"_Xiao Qiao," He scolded, his eyes softening slightly at her devotion, "do not be so indifferent about whether you live or die. Promise me that even if I no longer exist, you must live on…for me."_

_She shook her head, more tears rushed out as she contemplated his death. "In that case, I…I hope that in another life I can truly belong to you. Even if I am not blessed with such wealth, even if my limbs are broken and my eyes are blind, having you by my side is enough."_

_Freeing her hand from his grasp, her slender fingers encircled his taut face, her voice breaking as tears streamed down sincerely. "I'm sorry. It breaks my heart. But we are just not meant to be."_

_And then she turned, through the doors and out of the room, not even noticing my stunned posture against the wall, her tears and light brown hair flying behind her. I did not dare to sneak a glance at my master, to see the usually proud, confident strategist destroyed by her words. _

_As I sat at my desk, after I finally made it back to my room, my head bent on rewriting my essay, my mind wandered about as the complicated characters strung meaninglessly against each other. After I had finished, I realised that the ink was blotched in many places, blurring my writing. Shaking, my fingers rubbed my cheeks. _

_They were wet._

_I was crying? I didn't know that I was until I felt the torrent of teardrops dripping from my chin. _

_The next morning, my Lord Sun Jian assembled us outside the palace gates. Master Qiao Xuan and the Lady Xiao Qiao were departing back to their town in Suiyang, in the outskirts of the Wei Kingdom. The Lady Da Qiao grasped the Lady Xiao Qiao's hand, regret and yearning evident as her pleads blurred by her tears begging her younger sister not to go. Tong and Ning stood sombrely behind the sisters, the rim of their eyes scarlet, avoiding eye contact with everyone. Lord Sun Ce was in the distance with Lord Sun Jian, no doubt begging our Lord to think of something to delay the departure. I saw the old Lord clap our younger Lord on the shoulder, shaking his head gravely. There was just one person missing._

_Master Zhou Yu._

_Come to think of it, I haven't seen my master all day, which I'm relieved. I cannot even begin to think of what I should say, how I should act around him. Last night, after I had finished copying my essay out for the third time, I swear I saw him walking towards the stables and riding off on his horse. At least he's venting and not keeping his emotions bottled up. I only hope that he comes back. _

_Shang Xiang stood away from the gathering crowd, her back to the Lady Xiao Qiao. The Lady Xiao Qiao advanced towards her, the Lady Da Qiao still on her arm._

"_Hey Shang, can you please do me a favour? Please take care of Zhou." Her slender hands _

_rested on Shang Xiang's shoulder, which the tomboy princess shook off immediately._

"_No. You can tell him yourself!" She snapped._

"_Shang, please…please forgive me, there is no other way."_

"_Just shut up Xiao Qiao. There is always a way."_

"_Shang…this is the only way to avoid a bloodbath. I cannot let my happiness be paid with blood, especially blood from the people I have grown to love."_

"_What? You think I can't take Cao Cao on?" Shang Xiang retorted, firing up at once. "I can take him with my eyes closed! I'd string him up from his stupid hind and…and"_

"_What? Cover him with pig poo?" The Lady Xiao Qiao suggested, breaking off into a snigger. Wrapping both her arms around the taller princess, her words muffled by the rich cloth of Shang Xiang's top and her own sobs. "I'm seriously going to miss you, Shang. Next time I see pig manure, I'll think of your signature move." _

"_Don't go, Xiao. Or I won't be happy…I…I won't talk to you ever again, I swear!"_

_This caused the Lady Xiao Qiao to collapse in a laughing fit. "Ha ha…ha…Da said that too…ha ha…when we were little! Oh Shang, and I thought I needed to grow up!" As the younger girl shook from laughter, the stern wall that Shang Xiang had kept up for so long crumbled. She too, was struggling to string together coherent words as a sob clawed at her throat. _

"_Go…Xiao…before I start crying…get the hell out of my sight!" The Lady Xiao Qiao's hands tightened for a split second as she embraced the girl who she had grown to love as her sister in their past few months together. Then she turned, without a backwards glance, and walked towards her father. His cold glare told her that he was not impressed that she had kept him waiting._

"_Shall we, Father?" She asked politely, ignoring the Lady Da Qiao's fruitless pleads._

"_About time," came his cold reply, as he climbed into their carriage._

_After one final longing look at the crowd, her eyes searching, the Lady Xiao Qiao gathered the folds of her dress, and began to climb into the carriage. _

"_Xiao!"_

_That familiar voice, could it be? I spun around; hoping, praying to the mighty Heaven that it was him. _

_My Master Zhou Yu._

_Lady Xiao Qiao paused, one leg resting on the rails of the carriage, her face not daring to turn around, even though his voice had her trembling with desire to run back. _

_My Master Zhou Yu pushed through the crowds, oblivious of everyone around him; his eyes seeing only the Lady Xiao Qiao. He looked terrible; windblown and without a decent night's sleep. No one dared to make a sound, ardent to see what will happen next for the strategist had yelled, and what's more, called the Lady Xiao Qiao by her name. _

"_Xiao. I don't believe what you said, about the Heavens forsaking us." _

"_What is going on here?" Her father had jumped off the other side of the carriage, appalled by the commotion. "What is the meaning of this Lord Zhou Yu? You are delaying our journey! _

_Xiao Qiao, get on the carriage at once."_

_But the Lady Xiao Qiao did not respond. As she tried to remain emotionless, the hand holding on to the rail for support was shaking._

"_I made a bet with myself yesterday, Xiao." My master continued, unconscious of Master Qiao Xuan's outburst. "I wanted to see if we can pull through, against all odds. If not, then I would have accepted fate. I would have watched you leave, taking with you my sanity. But I can't, Xiao, because the Heavens have arranged for us to meet for a reason. It is the will of fate that we should be together."_

"_Stop it, Lord Zhou Yu."_

_The Lady Xiao Qiao finally responded. Turning, her expression remained as impassive as her voice, but tears betraying her self-control, her hands shaking at her sides. Her father appeared by her side, pulling her forcefully towards the carriage._

"_Lord Zhou Yu, what is the meaning of this? Stop this embarrassing display at once! My daughter, think of what this will do to her chastity!" _

"_Xiao…" He continued, determinedly standing his ground as the generals began to tug at him, attempting in vain to get him back into the castle. "You don't have to believe in fate, don't have to believe in me, but you can't tell me that you don't trust this." He held up something small in his hand; I had to squint to see it clearly in the sun light. _

_It was a small white shell. Streaked through with delicate ripples, the ruffled edges a pastel peach like the precious corals that a wealthy regional Lord once sent to Lord Sun Jian. The Lady Da Qiao and Shang Xiang gasped, turning to look at the Lady Xiao Qiao. Disbelief flooded her impassive eyes._

"_No…it can't be." Hands shaking, she reached into the pockets of her dress. Fumbling slightly, she took out her precious 'treasure', the shell that Shang Xiang had told me about, the shell that was identical to the one in my master's hand. "They're the same…they match." She whispered, looking from the shell to my master._

"_If I remember correctly, this means that we're meant to be." He said simply, shaking off the generals who formed constraints around him, walking towards her. The edges of her lips pulled up into a smile as her legs automatically closing their distance, her whole body longing for him._

"_Xiao Qiao! What are you doing?" Her father tried to grab at her again, but the Lady Xiao Qiao slapped his hand away, breaking into a run, calling my master's name over and over again. My master quickened his pace, opening his arms as the Lady Xiao Qiao jumped into his embrace, her hands snaked around his neck. He closed his eyes as he took in her sweet fragrance, imprinting it into his memory, defying fate to try and take her away again. His strong arms lifted her off the ground, showing no signs of letting her down in a hurry. The Lady Da Qiao gave a delighted cry and raced towards the couple, all grace and dignity gone. With the wave of her arms, she flung herself onto her sister and my master, Shang Xiang not far behind._

"_So dear friend, it would seem we need to talk." My Lord Sun Jian strolled casually towards Master Qiao Xuan, resting a hand on his shoulders, not quite concealing the contention from his smile that was not returned._

"_Indeed, we do."_

This is either a test of the lovers' faith, or just a cruel twist of fate. I wonder if the merciless Gods enjoy watching mortals on the brink of sanity, the question of their existence now only a laughing matter. The two were separated and reunited, and then separated again and reunited in this way. Would it have been better if the Lady Xiao Qiao left that day? I don't think it would have made a difference; my Master Zhou Yu would have stormed He Fei Castle anyway. But what is the point of finding Lady Xiao Qiao like this? It would only delay their deaths and fill the remainder of their lives with unpleasant memories.

It's just so paradoxical, so incomprehensible. That someone who once brought him so much love, hope and faith has now given him the most pain of his life.

Is this love? Or is this suffering?

I no longer know.

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These 3 chapters were meant to show the 'three faces of Xiao', as she hasn't really done much to date, but Xun's chapter took a different direction than I had originally planned.

Anyway I think it turned out ok…right? No? Oh…

I tried my hardest to write the three in different styles so that you could really feel that it is in Tong, Ning or Xun's perspective so hopefully I was able to achieve that! I would really appreciate it if you could read and review it, just so I can see if what I want to portray has been portrayed adequately. If you don't really want to leave a review, feel free to PM or email me on your thoughts!


	9. The Beautiful World

Inspirational song: 荼靡时代by F.I.R. and Baragoku Otome by Ali Project. You can probably listen to it on youtube or something.

Firstly, thank you thank you thank you to **Sun Xiao**, it is amazing the dedication you have for me and my fic, I really cannot put into words how much your reviews and support mean to me!Look, I'ma getting all teary thinking about it ;_;

Yay! You promised that you won't hit me, **Dia**! Still lovin' your reviews and hopefully I can continue writing in a way that you won't hit me…

BIG THANKS to **JeeJay**! It is such an honour to receive a review (multiple, actually) from you! I say this every time I write you, but girl, you know your stuff! Every time I get a PM from you I always chuckle to myself afterwards until people start to give me strange looks! Please please please update soon….and review some more! O yea, after reading JeeJay's comments, I feel the need to clarify one point. In chap 2, Zhen did not kill Cao Pi, she merely immobilised him the way Shang immobilised Xiao in Ce's chapter, if you recall.

WOW! First time reviewers! Thank you heaps **AmenoMurakumo! **Such dedication to go back and review my fic from chapter 1! On retrospective look the first few chapters were a bit shocking, but I think I'm slowly getting the hang of it -_-;" Thank you **Aubbs! **I can't thank you enough! You words of encouragement really mean a lot to me ^0^ Please continue to read and review, I really take heart in what everyone says!

**Disclaimer: Don't own it; it belongs to the fine people of Koei.**

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**The Beautiful World**

**Zhen Ji's Perspective**

The final days of my life are not ones worthy of remembrance. Actually, my very existence is not remotely notable, either. It's a shame really, I once had high hopes, high ambitions. I once believed the world is…beautiful.

Beautiful.

You used to love that word. In your eyes, everything is beautiful, even this cruel world we live in. You helped show me its beauty, you helped provide colour into my life, opened my eyes. But you've never once said that I was beautiful. You used to turn so red whenever I asked you why. I loved watching you stammer, your hands scratching your head. You never did answer me, but I was content. Even though you've never voiced it, I could feel it. Your every glance, your every touch, signalled to me how you felt. It was all I needed to get through another day. I truly believed that even if all the light disappears, even as the world crumbled beneath my feet, knowing how you felt was enough.

But the world is not beautiful at all. Poverty, corruption, tyranny and war are what fill the blank canvas that is the world we live in. In my lifetime, I have seen innocent women and children slaughtered; land and its inhabitants are now just prizes for the strongest to claim. I myself know exactly how it feels to live as a trophy. When our village was taken over by that despicable Yuan Shao, whom you were forced to serve, I was arranged for his son. I remembered your parting words, sweetly tattooed into my heart.

"_Zhen, I promise that I will do all I can to get you back, but for the time being please hold on, for us."_

Your words were the only thing on my mind as I bowed to Yuan Shao's ancestors as our wedding vows were read out. Yet as we waited for the mercy that was denied from the Heavens, your promise drifts further and further away. In the last few years, I've started to change, to adapt to my new life. I have made my heart colder, stronger for now I stand before a door that will never open. The door that will lead me to you.

It is ironic really. My whole life, I am forever haunted by contradictions.

I truly hate the sight of blood; its metallic taste soiling every fibre of my body. Yet I fight on the battlefield. Sometimes, amidst the heat of the battle, I wonder why I fight, my flute drenched in my enemies' blood, enemies who made the error of underestimating me, their helpless pleads begging me to think of their children. I don't think much of it. If they truly thought of their children, they wouldn't be fighting at all. But every time I catch a glimpse of you, donned in your armour as you rush through to provide reinforcements, I find my answer.

Then there is you. I sometimes wonder how long we must live this scripted life. Every morning, I would get up before sunrise, just to look at you as you trained in the courtyard, your moves graceful and deadly. You would see me and smile.

"_Good morning, Lady Zhen Ji. Or can it still be morning if the sun has not risen?"_

I would stammer something back, too mesmerised by your eyes. Just as I would succumb to the urge to touch you, you would pull back, alert as ever. The walls have ears; anyone could be reporting back to my Lord Cao Cao about unchaste behaviour in his castle. That stupid perverted man is a filthy hypocrite!

"_How does my Lord fare this morning?"_

You would ask, the pain unmasked in your face. And that's when I would remember everything. I was, again, the wife of our lord. Even if I was won over, my ownership changed hands; I did not, and could not belong to you. It's never ending. I'm so tired of being here, of waking up and playing my part.

Xiao Qiao…

Surprisingly, she reminded me of you. Every time she spoke, I would feel a sense of nostalgia. She was also very…optimistic about the world. Even though I could gather that her childhood had not been pleasant, she would smile and tell me about all the wonderful things that she did back home….things that I wanted to do with you. Trivial things like horse riding or picnics. Little things that would make her smile for ages after. Smile, even though she is in the middle of a nightmare. I guess it has something to do with her 'Lord Zhou Yu', whom she is always talking about. I think I understand, to some extent. Within your selfless, unconditional love, I didn't even know the meaning of solitude or despair.

But now I do.

The Lord Cao Cao is livid, he will surely seek retribution. I heard that he has already summoned Xiao Qiao's father. I just wish that the Heavens will not forsake her, as they have forsaken me…

_It was a cold night. The absence of the moon made the night sky as black as coal, the little twinkling stars like grains of salt. For me, it was a very pleasing night, for my lord had left on a hunting trip. In my newly found solitude, I was able to drop the façade, allow my tears to flow freely down my usually conceited face. It was nights like these in which I longed for you, for you to take me away. I would let my imagination drift, past the mountains, through the seas, and back home, in He Jian Mo. We could live in the countryside, as commoners, peasants even. You would plough the fields and I would play the flute and wipe the beads of sweat from your face. We may not be wealthy, but we would be free. _

_Free and happy. _

_A sharp tap on my door dissolved my idyllic daydream. My brow contracted in displeasure. _

_Who dares disturb me in this late hour? _

_My personal servant appeared, with two strangers I have not seen before. A small man with an aura of felony that contradicted his expensive robes and a big man, not unlike Dian Wei, that would have had you buzzing with disapproval. That's when I noticed that the big man was carrying a bundle that looked like a sleeping girl. _

_Oh no, not this again. And so history repeats itself. My father-in-law is truly despicable. _

"_My Lady Zhen Ji, the Master Qiao Xuan requests an audience with the Lord Cao Cao. He says it is very urgent. He says that he is here with his gift to the Lord Cao Cao."_

"_My lord and the honourable Lord Cao Cao are not here right now. They are due back in the next few days." I spoke, my voice anything but inviting._

"_Ah, the beautiful Lady Zhen Ji. What an honour it is to be graced with your presence. Your beauty is truly the p…"_

_I held up my hand, stopping the man and he quickly sank into a low bow. I hated being called beautiful. I hated anyone's eyes but yours on me._

"_This is the girl? The Lady Xiao Qiao?" _

_She was so small; the pale yellow dress hung weirdly loose on her body as if her gown was hastily done back up. I swept a cold glance at the thug, drilling in my suspicion and disgust. _

_He shifted uncomfortably._

_Disgusting._

_I instead glanced at the smaller man, who was not very high in my books either. How heartless, to willingly submit your own daughter into the life I tried so hard to escape. "I could have sworn you had two daughters." I asked, though not really interested in the answer._

"_Yes my lady. This is my youngest daughter, Xiao Qiao. My oldest daughter, Da Qiao was married to Lord Sun Ce not long ago."_

_I arched my eyebrow. "Lord Sun Ce as in the heir to the Wu Kingdom? The rumours were true then. Rumour also has it that the Lady Xiao Qiao was also wed, to his sworn brother, the strategist Zhou Yu if I was not mistaken." My Lord Cao Cao was not going to be pleased. He was promised a pure and untouched maiden._

_The heartless one whimpered slightly, great beads of sweat forming on top of his furry brows. _

_Pathetic._

"_The girl disobeyed my orders, my Lady. But rest assured that she is still pure. The marriage was not consummated. She is still a virgin. I have checked."_

_I shuddered, disgusted at this man who had just as much morals as the swindlers and peddlers down in the markets. I cannot even stand to breathe the same air as him. I waved my hand impatiently, my servant interpreting it correctly and ushered the two vermin out of my chambers. Heaving a long sigh, I looked at the sleeping girl on the floor. _

_Poor girl._

_Sure, she was lucky to some extent. Though it was not unusual for Lord Cao Cao to leave the palace, it was quite rare for him and my husband to be absent at the same time. This means that she would at least enjoy her last days of peace. If she was smart then she would savour it. Life was not going to be pleasant from now on, trust me._

_When she woke up, she surprised me. Most girls sold into the Bronze Bird Pavilion would go through approximately five stages: fear, rage, denial, sorrow and finally, acceptance. There was no other way. But she got up, dusted herself off, and introduced herself to me._

"_Greetings, my name is Xiao Qiao, the blessed wife of Lord Zhou Yu." She reached for my hand. "And you are the Lady Zhen Ji I presume? I have heard a lot about you."_

_I have to say I was shocked, but I decided to give her the benefit of doubt. Maybe reality has not sunk in with the poor girl. Before I could reply, she reached into the folds of her dress and retrieved a small paper package. Carefully, she tore open the end and passed it towards me._

"_Say, here's a question. What is dressed in red and is the sweetest thing in all three kingdoms?" She asked, a playful smile on her lips. _

_I cannot believe she could still be in the mood to play riddles. I shook my head, words failing me._

"_Well, the correct answer is my Lord Zhou Yu of course, but these are a close second. They are red bean rice cakes, they are very delicious. Would you like to try some?" _

_Bewildered, I tore a piece off and ate carefully so as to not smudge my lipstick. It was indeed delicious. Her smile brightened as she stuffed a huge piece into her mouth, gobbling it down so fast I wondered when was the last time the poor girl ate. As the flavoured coating smeared over the rim of her lips, I stifled a chuckle. The Lady Xiao Qiao was very different from what I had imagined. We sat there for a while, the bag of rice cakes slowly disappearing until there was only one piece left. She carefully wrapped the remaining back into the packaging, the small indulgent smile back on her lips. _

"_And the last piece is for my Lord Zhou Yu."_

_Could she possibly be thinking about going home? That is ridiculous! No prey has ever ventured out of the walls of the tower. The defence of my father-in-law's sanctuary is immaculate; you have helped made sure of that. _

"_Excuse me Lady Xiao Qiao, I mean no disrespect but you should know your place. Do you even know where you are?" I snapped; my voice with a distinct edge of impatience at her ignorance. _

_She looked up, bemused by my words. "I assume my father has brought me to the Northern Territory, to Lord Cao Cao. Under that assumption, I guess I am in the formidable He Fei Castle, or more accurately, the Bronze Bird Pavilion." She blinked, looking around, continuing to speak as if I asked something inconsequential like the weather. "To be honest, this is not the first time that I have been here." She added._

_How does she do it? How can she so easily accept this fate? I have spent so many years telling myself the same thing but my futile attempts crumble every time I see your face! _

"_Zhen…please don't give up on us."_

_Your lovely face slowly began to creep back into my mind again, your words haunting me nearly every second of my life. I have to distract myself before I start crying in front of this stranger. "So, you say you have been here before. When was that?" I asked, though I really wanted to say "How did you escape?" _

"_Hmm…let me see." She idly scratched her chin as she pondered. "A few years ago, my father took me on a trip to the capital. I live just off the boundaries of the Wei Kingdom, actually. Anyway, he took me here so to see the Lord Cao Cao." _

_Her carefree face darkened, her hands clenched tightly, shaking by her sides. "My father left me alone with him, and I hated it. I remember screaming and crying as he began to kiss and touch me." _

_Her voice quivered slightly and she shook her head impatiently. "And then, just when I thought he would have me right then and there, my father came back to finish the negotiations. He said that that was the 'appetizer' and that they had to agree on a contract before he could have me. Then they started their debate, and I was left sitting there, engrossed by my disturbing thoughts. After Father had secured a reasonable offer, we were making our way back home when the Lord Cao Cao took me aside and said that he would wait till I 'ripen' before he would come to pick me." _

_She gave an unladylike snort, startling me a little. "Well, I guess I am ripe now and it is harvest season." _

_I have to say, I don't share her sense of humour. Even now, I still cannot see the funny side of my circumstance, let alone in hers._

_I cannot take it anymore. _

_Before I knew it, I was on my knees, both my hands on her shoulders, shaking some sense into her. "How…how can you sit so calmly and say that? How can you just accept fate, this cruel fate that we did nothing to deserve? How can you stand to be the wife of another, while watching your beloved get torn apart? How can you lay next to someone else while helplessness turns your love of the precious memories that you cannot return to into hatred?" _

_As I rambled on, I know that I was no longer shouting about her. I had lost to my own darkness. All my bottled despair came rushing out, like the rapid currents of the Yellow River. Too absorbed in my sudden wave of sadness, I didn't even notice the tears that were now smudging my flawless makeup. She calmly endured everything. After my outburst, my body trembling as I continued to cry, she folded me into an embrace, leaning my head against her chest. Surprisingly me with her sudden show of maturity, she simply rocked me in a soothing motion, stroking my dark locks. After a while, I felt her jaw work as she spoke._

"_I'm not calm. I am frightened, frightened to death. But I believe in him, because we are meant to be, because it is the will of fate that we shall be together." _

_She reached into her pocket and took out a small silk handkerchief wrapped tightly around something. Carefully removing its contents, she brought it in front of me. It was a small white shell. Sure, it's not as extravagant as some of the jewels that my lord has given me, but it has its own charm._

"_Do you know about the myth of the double-sided seashells?" She asked._

_Well, that was random. I shook my head as she gently wiped the tears from my cheeks. God, what I would give to crawl into a dark hole at my pathetic display of dignity._

"_My older sister Da told me all about it. When I used to lose faith in life, she would cheer me up with it. She says that even though there are thousands, no, millions of shells in the world, there is only one that completely fits each shell. It's perfect match. She says it's the same with people. Somewhere out there is her true love, and someone out there, is the one for me and only me." _

_Amusement at her naivety chocked my even breathing and I found myself laughing at her moving story. How could she honestly believe that fairytale of a story? No doubt her sister, Da, had contrived it for her little's sister's peace of mind. After a while, she joined in, our laughter peeling off the cold walls._

"_I know it sounds impossible, and I thought it was impossible too, but it's true. Because my Lord Zhou Yu found my matching shell. He spent the whole night looking for it and found it with no time to spare, for I was leaving with my father. After that, we have defied all odds, and we were able to be wed, without the blessing of my Father, of course. And now, I am finally his." She clasped the shell tightly in both her hands, resting against her chest. "He gave me this one too, actually. He was dispatched to a tidy up the end of the campaign in Hu Lao Gate when he saw the ocean. He remembered that I once said that I have never seen the ocean before. He then found this shell and brought it back for me as a souvenir." _

_I have never heard such a story before. Could it be that fate truly wishes for these two to be together? I felt a pang of envy that quickly vanished as I remembered her circumstances. Fate too, has played a cruel trick on this couple, as it did us._

"_I know!" She jumped up, the crumbs from the rice cake splattering everywhere. "Zhen, we should go down to the beach and find your shell! That way, when the one for you and only you appears, we would know!"_

_Of all the ridiculous things that she has said, I think this one tops them all. Having said that, I don't know how to explain why, three hours later, we were down in the sandy beach on all fours, looking for my 'precious' shell. _

_I know that you are the one for me; I don't need a stupid shell to tell me that. But how could I disappoint such a face?_

_Later that night, we sat on my bed and made silk pouches for our shells (yes, I found a particularly charming shell with a bluish tinge that reminded me of you) and I couldn't help but roll my eyes. Honestly, I must be spoiling her, continuously letting her have her way! But I have to admit that I grew very fond of her. It was as if I had suddenly gained a younger sister. A very energetic younger sister who showed surprisingly mature traits every now and then. I found that I would divulge to her the secrets I have long kept hidden in my heart. I told her about you, about 'us'. She smiled widely at my story, jumping up suddenly and pulling me into a dance._

"_That is such a moving story, Zhen! I know that the one for you understands your love for him completely! Now, we just have to go down to the beach for him to find your matching shell! Then not even fate can separate you two!"_

_I felt my smile fade. How many times have I suffered the bitter disappointment from false hope? You and I were just not possible. That is all there is to it. I cannot allow myself to be hurt by hope again._

"_This has gone far enough." I pulled her back down on the bed, earning a little squeal of protest from her. Throwing my newly completed silk pouch roughly to the other side of the room, I was amazed by how eager I was to complete it. Perhaps all the years of waiting has made me open to useless sentiment. "Please kindly finish your sewing and then head to bed. I'm growing tired of your absurd fairytales."_

_My fingers lingered by my blue shell. I urged myself to throw it away. This silly little thing would only hurt me more in the long run. But seeing the blue ripples that resemble the groves of your armour, I felt a smile creep on my lips. She gave a small smile at my hesitation and went back to her sewing. After a while, she started to ramble on about her life in the Wu Kingdom. To be honest, I never thought highly of our rival kingdom. My lord would always criticise their ways, comparing the great Tiger of Jiang Dong to savages. I never knew that they were so down-to-earth, especially the Lord Sun Ce. Like my lord, he too was the heir to the throne. It's amazing how completely opposites they are to each other._

_Something that her father said had intrigued me though. He had said that her marriage was not consummated, that she was indeed pure. How could that be so? It would seem to me that her husband, Lord Zhou Yu, adores her completely so how could she still be a virgin? My whole life, love and lust ran side by side. All my previous 'champions' displayed their affections for me very physically. It makes me wonder just what you would have done, if fate had given us the opportunity._

"_Lady Xiao Qiao, do you mind if I asked you a personal question?" I began, not knowing how to put this delicate matter into words._

"_Zhen, I told you to call me Xiao!" She moaned, her bottom lip sticking out to a charming pout._

_Mentally, I retorted "and I told you not to call me Zhen!"_

"_Fine, Xiao Qiao then. Did you not have a, you know, a…wedding night with your beloved? It is just unusual for you to be married and still be…" I trailed off suggestively, unable to finish this vulgar topic aloud._

_Her face bloomed into the colour of sunset immediately, her hands flying up to conceal her face; a huge grin appearing._

"_Well…it was my fault actually." She giggled, her crimson cheeks visible through the gaps between her fingers. "We were escorted to his rooms by my sister, who was my maid of honour, of course. My sister had gently sat me on his bed and I remember that I was very nervous; I kept fidgeting under my red veil. I don't know how to explain it. I was so happy, but I was also scared. I kept thinking that it must be a dream. There was just no way that he would want me, and that I'd wake up, back in my room in Suiyang. Then I don't know what I would do."_

_I smiled. Happiness was not an emotion that I felt in my previous marriages. It felt strangely…refreshing to see a young bride gush about her wedding night._

"_Anyway, after the crowd had left, the Lord Sun Ce making jokes as my sister ushered him out and carefully shutting the door, I realised that we were finally alone. Understanding what this meant, my irrational fears started to bubble inside me, and I started remembering all these terrible things: Lord Cao Cao's hands on my body as he forced his mouth on mine, Lord Dong Zhuo's perverted looks down my dress, everything. I guess that's when I started crying. I could see his hands shaking slightly as he lifted up my veil, my tears confirming his fears. That's when he took me gently into his arms, releasing my hair from the tight bun on top of my head, and stroking my locks. He kissed me deeply but gently on my lips and pulled away, before kissing the tears from my cheeks."_

_She gave an indulgent sigh, her delicate blush reappearing. _

"_Did you know that his eyes are so captivating when they are burning with love and desire? Anyway, he said that 'that' was not the reason he married me and that he married me, for me, for who I am. He said that we have but many nights ahead of us and he would wait until I was ready…"_

_Tears started to form in her bright eyes, her smile deepened as she recalled the love her lord showered her in; even to the extent he would forego his own desire. It was truly…touching._

_She stood up, determination in her voice. _

"_And that is why I will not give up, I cannot give up. He has scarified so much for me, and therefore I will give him myself in return. I am my Lord Zhou Yu's, and that is how I will remain."_

_Her words sparked the emotions that had long died within me. Caught up in her passion, I got up too, grabbing my flute and playing your favourite song. Our memories and the love we once shared flowed back into me. I felt reborn. _

_How could I have given up on us?_

"_Me too. I shall not give up either." _

_But that's the drawback of faith: it hurts that much more when you fall._

_The next day the Lord Cao Cao and my lord returned, and she was immediately summoned to his chambers. As the servants readied her, her determination did not falter. As she stepped into his chambers, her devotion for her beloved grew._

_I stood by the door, my hand shaking as I held on to my flute. I don't even know why I was standing here. She was sold to the devil. It was her fate, the same fate that she, along with many other women shared. But I found that I could not leave her facing the demon alone._

_She walked in, blinking in fear as she took in her surroundings. My Lord Cao Cao sat lazily on the bed, his robes open, exposing his bare chest. _

"_Come to me, my little minx." He purred, his voice sending shivers down my spine._

_She stood her ground. "No."_

_My Lord Cao Cao raised an eyebrow and gave an amused laugh that did not reach his cold eyes. Slowly, he got off the bed and walked towards her._

"_The hunt begins then. Careful now, you do not want to anger me, dear child."_

_She looked him directly in the eyes, drawing herself to her full height. For someone so petite, she radiated brilliance and intimidation. _

"_No. I am the wife of Lord Zhou Yu. You shall not touch me!"_

_Her declaration jumpstarted my cold heart. Would our paths have been different if someone had given us the chance? Would I be able to give her that freedom? Taking a deep breath, I readied myself to jump in, to face treason. But suddenly, I felt a strong pair of arms snake around me, pinning me against his masculine body; his lips at my ear, his voice deadly._

"_Such roguish behaviour, Zhen. I expected more from you." _

_My heart stopped. _

_It was my lord._

"_Now Zhen, come to me, it has been too long."_

_He led me away forcefully, his hands sliding into my robes as her screams and sounds of fabric tearing filled the room…_

*Clunk*

The heavy chains on the cell door chattered onto the floor, the sound startling me a little. My memories of the past few weeks came rushing back: the child's screams and fruitless pleads, the cold fury in her lover's eyes as he carried her to safety, my lord lying immobilised by my hand. My mind lingered on her doll like state in my Lord's chambers. Never have I seen something so ghastly. But this was expected. My Lord Cao Cao kept a firm watch over her, summoning her every single night of her seven day confinement.

Her seven days of hell.

I suppressed a shudder. Perhaps death is the only escape for her. Perhaps death is the only escape for me.

I gave a dry laugh, taking in my surroundings; the cold iron bars a deadly reminder of my predicament. But despite all that has happened, I don't regret anything. I know that I must pay the price and that there was only one price for treason, but I know that I did the right thing. I know that were you in my shoes, you would have done the same. Your compassion would not have allowed the child to die in this tower of despair, while her lover is humiliated and disposed of by my lord. I can only hope that fate would show her some mercy, and grant her the happy ending that was denied from us.

But would you blame me for leaving this world before you? Would you miss me when I can no longer gaze at you in the mornings? Would you be proud of me, even a little, when they announce my traitorous death?

Cold footsteps echoed off the walls. My lord approaches me, his expression grave. I know what he came to do. I once feared it, but now I long for it. I once feared not being able to exist in the same time as you. But my very existence causes you pain, my heart longing to join you even though it is imprisoned deep inside the coffin that is my cold body. I know that from this suffering there is a chance that a miracle will appear, that fate might just show us mercy, but I just don't care anymore.

I want death, don't you?

"You're late, my Lord Cao Pi."

My lord raises his sword as I closed my eyes. In my mind, you walk towards me, gathering me into your arms. A euphoric smile crept onto my lips. Very fitting, how you were the first thing that I saw, and you will be the last thing on my mind. As I heard the familiar swish of my lord's sword, darkness engulfed me and I suddenly felt relieved.

It was finally over.

"_Zhen."_

Your voice was so anaesthetizing.

"_Zhen, we're together, at last."_

"And this is how we shall stay, my beloved Lord Zhang He."

The world is not beautiful, but you once said that this imperfection leads it to beauty.

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To be honest, this is my favourite chapter… and hence the delay in submitting it (I wanted to get it near perfect)…but please be as harsh as you can when you review it :P I loved writing in her perspective so much, the chapter just kept getting longer and longer!

With regards to Zhen Ji and Zhang He, this was an idea that I had when I had finished writing the 2nd Chapter when Zhen mentioned that she once felt the same passion for 'her lord'. This chapter was written as if Zhen was 'talking' to Zhang He, so he is the "you" in the story. I think back then everyone would assume that it was Cao Pi she was talking about, but nooooo….it was actually Zhang He! Personally, I am not a fan of Zhen Ji/Zhang He, but I really like bitter-sweet love in that one loves someone, but is forced to marry another, and have to see the anguish of one's beloved every day (sadistic, I know -_-;") . I didn't make the connection about the potential for this couple when I first played the game but I guess they were both serving Yuan Shao at the time (according to the game, anyway) so there may be some merits to this pairing.

Anyhow, reviews would be oh-so-sweet ^_^


	10. The Illusion of Happiness

Thank you heaps **L-chan**, **Yue1234**, **Silent Ninja, Dia, AmenoMuakumo **and of course, the lovely **Ying** for your reviews! It was great to hear your thoughts ^0^

Anyway, this chapter is dedicated to the lovely **Zhou Ying**. Thank you for all your reviews and suggestions, I feel that I am steadily improving (though slowly, as I am a slow learner ^0^). You've mentioned some time ago that you wanted to read about how the party actually got to He Fei Castle. Well, I kinda lied when I said that I'd put it in Zhou Yu's perspective (as my plan got shuffled round and round), but hopefully, this is what you wanted and answers all your questions!

**Disclaimer: ** Don't own. And by the way, the position of the characters, the events that happened and the geography etc are in no way accurate reflections of what really happened in history so please bear in mind that this story is based entirely on fiction and my imaginations.

Inspirational Song: 第十行星 (The Tenth Planet) by F.I.R.

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**Unheard, Unseen, Untouchable – The Illusion of Happiness**

**Sun Quan's Perspective**

Being the second sibling in the family, in one word, sucks.

You're never in the limelight, and you're forever destined to second place. This is even more so when you grew up in this warring era.

My older brother Ce's skill in the martial arts is beyond superior; his tonfas acting as both his sword to attack and his shield in defence. Since long ago I watched with admiration as he slowly honed his skill, unifying the smaller tribes around the boundaries of our kingdom, expanding the might of Wu. He truly was the Little Conqueror. Being the only daughter, my younger sister Shang Xiang will always be the apple in my father's eye. But I guess since mother has passed away, Shang Xiang has been outnumbered by male company; her childhood spent learning martial arts with the other rising Generals has helped developed her phobia of dresses and other pretty things girls her age usually indulge in. To me, her manliness is, at times, somewhat terrifying, but in my father's eyes, there is absolutely nothing Shang Xiang can do wrong.

Being second on the other hand, doesn't give you any advantages either way. Whenever I do something worth mentioning, most likely Ce has already accomplished it, and no doubt faster and more effective than I was. Moreover, whatever Shang Xiang did, my father would praise for ages after. I only get a "Nice try Quan. Try harder next time".

Life just isn't fair.

Speaking of which, the Gods sure did not play fair as they took the Lady Xiao Qiao away from us. The day that Lady Xiao Qiao disappeared was…surreal. I kept expecting her to turn up unexpectedly, a cheeky smile on her face, fooling us like her infamous pranks on Gan Ning and Ling Tong. In all honesty, I was never close with the Ladies Da and Xiao Qiao. Not that I had the opportunity. Their controlling father prowled around their vicinity, scrutinising each passerby as if they were a commodity in the market. Their fan club, consisting mainly of pages and soldiers in the palace and later, even several of the Generals, followed them like stink on a warthog. Shang Xiang was their shadow. She would do weird, girly things that I never seen her do in her life. She was now a frequent visitor to the bath chambers, and once, she was even seen in a dress! But access to the girls was really cut off when my brother, Ce and his best friend Zhou Yu started courting the girls.

Zhou Yu.

I've always respected and envied the guy. He got on so well with Ce, even better than me, his own brother. The two connected mentally almost as if they shared a mind. Their jokes were something that I fail to understand, even now. Their moves would complement each other seamlessly on the battle field, impressing their enemies before Ce's tonfa or Zhou Yu's sword would end their lives. I must admit I felt…left out. It would seem to me that they would talk of their bright future, the glorious future of Wu, and I would forever remain as Sun Ce's younger brother, the second son of Sun Jian.

But it's what they say: beauty attracts beauty. Everyone knows that once The Little Conqueror and The Beautiful Warrior express interest in a lady, that's the end of the story…unless you happened to be a certain formidable Lord in the Northern Territory, then you're an exception. We didn't automatically jump to the conclusion that Lord Cao Cao was behind it, God no. The mighty Heavens sure did not make it that easy for Zhou Yu; they wanted to ridicule him for as long as they could.

The Lady Xiao Qiao, or Xiao Qiao as I've started calling her thanks to Shang Xiang's influence, had said that she was going down to the market place. That was normal. The markets in Jianye were famous for its liveliness and selection. The Qiao sisters caused quite a stir in the town as available bachelors formed great lines in the hopes of catching a glimpse of these beauties. I remember Father ordering Ce and I to escort them around the central township during their first few days in the palace. No doubt it was their father's plan to try and merry us up. Anyway, the actual sightseeing lasted, what, twenty minutes. The remainder of the time was spent hiding from the wave of crowds wanting to talk to the Ladies. What I've learnt about the Ladies is that they are very comfortable, or at least, accustomed to such public attention. Their flawless diplomatic smile never wavered as wealthy landlords right down to the peasants and beggars came to shake their hands. They defined elegance and emitted such aura of grace that I have never seen before. But I guess my standards weren't set very high, what with Shang Xiang being the benchmark.

Even though Zhou Yu was very reluctant in letting Xiao Qiao out of the palace walls on her own, especially after their failed trip around the kingdom, but like she said herself: she was not a child, she was capable of taking care of herself. Moreover, Xiao Qiao was well-known in the area and she would still be within the central township so we had thought that nothing would happen to her, that no one would dare harm her in any way while she was within the walls of Jianye.

How wrong we were. How wrong we were, indeed.

_As the sun sleepily drifted behind the distant mountains, darkness slowly engulfed the ruby red sky. The palace was usually quite as our normally lively inhabitants – the Lady Xiao Qiao, Ce, Shang Xiang, Ling Tong and the pirate had ventured down to the market to mark the celebration of the springtime harvest. By sundown, the eerie peacefulness was starting to feel bizarre and Zhou Yu was getting impatient and anxious, his eyes compulsively darting towards the main gate. After a while, the slight commotion told us that Ce, his newly married wife Da Qiao, Shang Xiang, the pirate, Ling Tong and Lu Xun had came back from the market, the very market Xiao Qiao had set off to hours ago. There was no sign of her. This really didn't go down well with the normally composed strategist. He paced around frantically, muttering to himself. _

_At first, we were not all that worried. Even though the Lady Xiao Qiao appeared distant at first, we slowly started to see the innocent and almost child-like charm underneath. One day she was as sombre as Shang Xiang when someone beats her in a mock battle, another day she's up and about, pranking Gan Ning. I guess this mischievous side to her could be considered very captivating. Well, for Zhou Yu it certainly is. We had thought that curiosity may have led her to wander off, but she'll be back in no time so no harm done. _

_As minutes turned to hours, tension really started to thicken. When the gong in the temple rang for the third time, Zhou Yu could no longer sit still, he had to go down to the market to see for himself. Ce, Da Qiao and Shang Xiang accompanied him of course. Father was also very concerned for Xiao Qiao, opting to tag along with the concerned party. Anyone could see how inappropriate and ludicrous that suggestion was! Not to question the safety of our kingdom, but it just wasn't right for the Emperor and founder of the mighty Sun dynasty to venture to the place of the commoners! I stopped him of course, voicing my concerns. But before I know it, there I was, saddling my horse, taking his place. _

_The commoners all rushed to greet us, concerned at what would bring five members of the royal palace to the market of all places, at this peculiar time of the day. The stall owners were all packing up their stalls or counting the earnings for the day. As we approached, they would bow deeply, eager to please us in any way._

_Zhou Yu was very…to the point. All he was concerned about was his young wife. Without stopping for formalities, he progressed to interrogate the crowd brave enough to venture towards him. After four pointless rounds of interrogations, the stall owners shaking in their shoes as the high ranking Wu officer barked questions after questions, the old owner of the sweets stall by the river came forward, head low and shaking in a respectful bow._

"_I-i-if I may say something, Lord Zhou Yu, the L-l-lady Xiao Qiao came to my humble stall not long before sunset. She purchased a bag of my red bean rice cakes, my lord."_

"_Then what? Did you see what happened to her? Did she mention where she was going?" Zhou Yu pressed on, pulling the frightened old man by the front of his robes. I have never seen him so distressed, his voice sounding strangely unfamiliar with the distinct edge of anxiety. _

"_I-I-I don't know my lord, I swear! The Lady Xiao Qiao went down by the river, and she stood there for a while, talking to a strange man I have not seen before. As I made my way over to ask if I could help her, I had to serve another customer. When I was finished, she was no longer there! I swear that I am telling the truth, my lord!"_

_Zhou Yu paled immediately at this turn of events. The old man made gagging noises as Zhou Yu's hold on his robes tightened as he thought carefully through his words._

_A simple trip down to the markets had turned into foul play._

_Da Qiao stepped forward, her hand resting on Zhou Yu's, preventing him from inadvertently strangle the poor man to death. They exchanged a look, and she shook her head subtly. Turning to the old man, she gave a small smile. "Please kind sir, did you happen to see what the man looked like?" She asked, the kindness in her voice prompting the man to continue._

"_Thank you Lady Da Qiao, but I'm afraid I did not get to see him in detail. But from his build, he was definitely no scholar, that's for sure. I did find something unusual though…"He held up a plain blue fabric. "This was found at the spot the Lady Xiao Qiao was last seen, by the river."_

_Zhou Yu's eyes narrowed as he pinched the fabric in between his thumb and fore finger. The cloth looked as if it was hastily torn from the sleeve of inexpensive robes usually worn by peasants. I have to say that I myself rarely see anyone donned in such attire in the palace, even the servants. Surprising me, he put the fabric against his nose, closing his eyes as he took in the scent. His eyes opened in an instant, burning with fury, his teeth clenched._

"_Sea salt and gun power. The guy is a pirate!" He spat, "Call Gan Ning. We need to fight fire with fire."_

_Then with quick orders from my brother, all ports were sealed off. Both incoming and outgoing ships thoroughly checked by the imperial guards before their take off. With Gan Ning's help, it was not hard to track the vessel._

_In total, by the next morning, the royal jail house acquired sixteen more inmates. Zhou Yu personally questioned them all, not resting once even as the morning dragged on, the inmates' loud screams echoing off the stone cell walls as his blade mercilessly dug into their flesh. I guess rage can be a good remedy for fatigue._

_From their sweat and pain blotted faces, all sixteen convicts unanimously confessed that a well dressed Northern scholar had visited them a few months prior. He had asked them to make a special 'delivery', one that required the assistance of their leader. Since their negotiation was kept confidential, they were only told to keep an eye out for the imperial guards, and wait for their leader's return which was due in the next couple of days. This meant that instead of living in the fine Wu palace, the six of us set up camp in that dingy ship; ready to give the man the biggest surprise of his life as he returned. Ling Tong and Lu Xun joined not long after, with a message from my father wishing us all the best. _

_After the fifth day of pointless waiting, I started to wonder why I was even a member of the search party anyway, it's not like I was even close with Xiao Qiao! It was a real chore, waiting in that pathetic excuse of a ship. Gan Ning didn't seem to mind at all, I guess he felt at home. I shudder to think what I'd do if I became a pirate in the next life. I guess stench and poverty were regular acquaintances that hovels like these seem pretty comfortable. _

_But what surprised me was the Lady Da Qiao. Even though she was dressed in plain peasant robes, she still couldn't conceal her nobility and class. She would not say much. Standing by the tiny window, her eyes scanning the cerulean wasteland, her hands would remain interlocked in front of her, her mouth mumbling silent prayers. Zhou Yu sat on the dirty cabin floor, his eyes alert, hands ready on his sword, listening for any signs of movements. Ce would hover between the two, unsure what he should say or do. It was the first time I have seen him so lost for words, so lost in uncertainty. Shang Xiang, Lu Xun, Ling Tong and the pirate sat together, chatting quietly to break the tension. _

_Finally, we saw a boat in the distance. First a speck amongst the vast ocean, then steadily becoming bigger. We all stopped what we were doing, Ling Tong and Gan Ning shutting up for once. _

_As the boat collided with the wharf gently, a shirtless brute that would make Gan Ning a gentleman in comparison jumped onto the wooden dock. As he strolled aboard his ship, we could distinctly see the ripple of muscles in his toned arms, decorated with scars and tattoos. From my peripheral vision, I could see Ce moving in front of Da Qiao, hiding her from view as Lu Xun moved and shielded my sister. Zhou Yu's hand twitched on his sword, bloodlust evident in his stance. Well, if my wife was touched by that brute of a man, I definitely would not be too thrilled either._

_As the brute yanked the door to the cabin open, we raised our weapons, ready to strike. He had not even stepped into the threshold when a flash of brown hair told us that Zhou Yu had closed in on his prey. With his sword against the thug's neck, Zhou Yu quickly apprehended the man, his sword twitching in his hand, hungry for the other man's blood. _

_And the remaining days passed in a blur. Back in the dungeons of the palace, we had strung the brut upside down by the ankles with his lackeys as blood rushed to his head and oozing out of the multiple wounds all over his body. Zhou Yu had never struck me as the sadistic type; it really contradicted with his refined features. Shang Xiang helped with the interrogation in the beginning until Lu Xun carried her out; she had collapsed at the sight of so much blood. Da Qiao calmly stood next to Ce, despite my brother's numerous pleads for her to leave, her expression veiled as the angst-ridden Zhou Yu tortured the brute, careful to balance the man's life with his vindictive pleasure. _

_After the brute could tell that his promised reinforcements had failed him, he succumbed to the pain. He had confessed everything. The well-dressed Northern scholar had entrusted him with delivering to the Northern Lord, a precious cargo. She was a girl no more than seventeen, her light brown hair like freshly harvested barley, but as smooth as silk. She was said to be the pinnacle of beauty. As soon as he saw her, by the sweets stall, he was sure that she was the one. Her petite body hidden by the long, custard cream dress; her long hair up in a tall pony tail, a few loose strands framing her gorgeous face. She was so defenceless as she crouched by the river, her fingers lightly dipped into the cold stream. As he approached her, the gravel from the riverbed crackling, she jumped up, a dazzling smile on her lips._

"_I knew you would come, Zhou!"_

_Shock crossed her features for a split second and he wrapped a black cloth he had prepared earlier across her face, her small hands tugging hopelessly against his coarse robes. In the back of his mind, he heard the sound of fabric tearing as the medication started to take effect. Her hands dropped to her sides, the crinkle between her brows eased as her eyes closed and her whole body slumped. Seeing her vulnerable, sleeping face, her soft body against his own, he fought the urge to abandon the mission and take the girl for himself. The thought of the promised gold checked him. Then he carried her off, his lackeys swarming in as eager customers attracting the attentions of the stall owners, into the safety of the boat he prepared earlier on and sped away towards the Northern seas. The journey there was said to be unbearable. Although the cold seas tore at his weather beaten body, it was his desire for the sleeping girl that haunted him, as he ran his hand about her pristine body. _

_At this Zhou Yu's face contorted to the most terrifying expression I've ever seen, his sword out of the scabbard in a quick flash, the brute's head swiftly departed from his body. Da Qiao's knees finally caved in, her head just inches from the cold ground when Ce took her into his arms, carrying her off to their rooms. Although the sight of the blood frightened her, I could tell that it was the thought that this beast had violated her unconscious little sister which had truly repulsed her._

_The next few days were by far more productive. Zhou Yu remain shut in his study, calculating the quickest and most effective way to retrieve his wife, now that he knew where she was and the danger she was in. Then the strangest search party consisting of Zhou Yu, Ce, and surprisingly, Da Qiao and Lu Xun embarked to the Northern Territories. Although Father and brother had begged Da Qiao not to go, for it was unsafe at the very least for a woman with very little prior combat training to venture out to He Fei Castle of all places, but still she did not relent. It was her precious little sister's life on the line, so she felt that she must do something. Ce had to agree in the end. It would have been a death sentence for her right there to remain behind while her sister and beloved were in harm's way. I cannot help but admire my sister-in-law. The more times I have spent with her I am deeply amazed by her grace, compassion and courage. It truly was very touching what she would do for her little sister._

_I can also tell that Shang Xiang is furious that Lu Xun is also a member of the search party while she is forced to stay behind. I don't know much about the boy, except when Zhou Yu praises his commitment to learning, but I know that he was very close with Shang Xiang. Almost too close for my liking. The two were each other's shadows! I know that his swordsmanship was also admirable, as both Zhou Yu and Ce would give him pointers at training, but he has never stepped foot on the battlefield! Perhaps we'll have to wait to see if his training paid off. I just hope that he doesn't come back in a stretcher, or worse, a body bag. But the mission was reconnaissance by nature, there shouldn't be many opportunities for swords to be crossed. Well, we had hoped so anyway._

_Anyway, the four then set off on their mission, and we waited in the palace, praying for a happy ending._

It would seem our prayer went unanswered.

It's been just over six months since Xiao Qiao's terrible ordeal, and still, she remains like a statue, moving only when Da Qiao and Shang Xiang carries her to the bath chambers, where she would shriek, bite and cry. Believe me, we have had a lot of casualties just making sure she was clean and fed. Once, it had seriously gotten out of hand. Xiao Qiao had pulled out Da Qiao's hairpin from her head and attacked her older sister with it. The white tiles in the bath chamber were covered in pools of red by the time we charged in and it was around then that Ce started seeing red. After barking some quick orders, Ce and Shang Xiang took the injured Da Qiao to the medics while Xiao Qiao locked herself in her room. By the time Zhou Yu kicked down the door, Xiao Qiao was hanging from the bed sheets wrapped around the ceiling rafts. It was lucky that Zhou Yu was a quick thinker. Grabbing Xiao Qiao's fan hanging from the wall, he threw it with precision and it sliced through the sheets, releasing the near suffocating Xiao Qiao, who had to be drugged for the remainder of the night.

Another time, Xiao Qiao attempted to end her life by biting her tongue, and Zhou Yu stopped her just in time…by putting his hand in her mouth. It was safe to say that the saying 'to bleed like the rivers' was not an exaggeration that night. Even so, Xiao Qiao would not relinquish her hold on him, her teeth tearing through his flesh, and it was only until Ce stepped in and forcefully removed her did we managed to get Zhou Yu bandaged up. It was seriously one of the most disturbing nights of my life, seeing Xiao Qiao's mouth covered in Zhou Yu's blood as she continued to cry and scream.

After all they have been through, how could she forget about him? How could she bear putting him through all this pain, both psychological and physical?

The ironic thing was afterwards. Even as his beloved bit open his hand, Zhou Yu continued to murmur to her in his soothing tone, proclaiming his never dying love for her. It was only when he saw that Ce had hurt Xiao Qiao while trying to free him, her white cheeks coloured with faint bruises from Ce's hold did he raise his voice and struck my brother. Ce was shocked to say the very least. So were the rest of us. Zhou Yu had not only stuck his sworn brother, but the Lord of our Kingdom! Was he asking for an execution? But I have to say that I was even more shocked when Ce actually restrained me as I lunged at Zhou Yu, dismissing the guards who had form a circle around Zhou Yu. I can't believe it! What is wrong with everyone!

It has been just under three weeks since that night and still, Zhou Yu's hand remains heavily bandaged up. I'm guessing he'll carry a scar for the rest of his life. How cruel, for the Heavens to continuously remind him of who had caused him so much pain. Still, he would not leave her side, unless absolutely necessary, as he waited unwearyingly for her to wake up from this nightmare.

Tonight was no different; her distant screams could be heard even though we were confined in my father's study. All the Generals were present as Zhou Yu was to give an account of what happened in He Fei Castle. This is the first he had spoke of the events that day, the first time we could pry him away from his distressed wife. As he continued in his monotonic tone, we could see that his mind wasn't really at the meeting with us; he was more concerned about his wife, screaming her lungs out in the adjacent wing.

After he had finished his recollection of how they had found her unclothed in the Lord Cao Cao's private chambers, I stood in awe, my mind slowly processing his words. Her scantily dressed state and her mental meltdown could only mean one thing…

Geez…and I thought my life sucked!

My father cleared his throat, and all eyes were on him.

"Well this explains a lot of things. I am very sorry, Zhou." He shook his head gravely. "Anyway, you said that you made contact with the Lady Zhen Ji didn't you?"

"Yes, my Lord. The Lady Zhen Ji defied her husband, the Lord Cao Pi and helped us escape. It was only with her help that we were successful."

Father nodded his head, his brows contracted. "Well it makes sense now; I had thought it was a bit sudden."

Zhou Yu's eyes narrowed, comprehension flickering in his eyes. "I don't understand, my lord. Has something happened to her?"

"Yes." My father suddenly looked more aged than ever in the candle light, the crinkles between his brows more prominent. Pinching the bridge between his brows, Father spoke with a tone of melancholy that was rarely expressed to our rival Kingdom. "Our ambassador in the Wei Kingdom has just reported the untimely death of the Lady Zhen Ji, apparently from sickness, but now we know that there may be more than meets the eye. She was most likely executed as a traitor."

Zhou Yu nodded his head gravely, his features void of any expressions.

"My lord, if I may interrupt?" Huang Gai came forward, bowing. My father nodded his head, urging him to continue. "I have just come back from Chang Ban, and on my journey back, my troops heard some curious rumours. They say that around the same time as the announcement of the Lady Zhen Ji's bereavement, the northern troops announced the death of the Lord Zhang He, who had apparently taken his own life. If my sources were correct, he was in the campaign against the rebels in the outskirts of the Northern territory at the time."

Immediately the Generals began to whisper amongst themselves at this strange news. I had only seen the Lord Zhang He once in my life. I was taken aback by how lithe and elegant his moves were and how refined his speech was. He did not strike me as the type that would suddenly commit suicide. Perhaps this warring era has finally taken its toll on him. Death has finally caught up with him.

"This is indeed curious. Nevertheless, it is good news for our kingdom." My father sighed, rubbing his tired eyes. "Lord Zhang He was an exceptional warrior and a definite threat to our army. Lady Zhen Ji was also remarkable on the battle field and her presence increased morale. I believe the might of the Wei army would be severely discounted, but we must act prudently. Let us see how the Shu Kingdom will respond before we make our move."

"Yes, my lord." The Generals responded in agreement.

Sensing the close of the meeting, Zhou Yu stood up immediately and started making his way back towards his wife.

"By the way Zhou, our ambassador was approached by the Lady Zhen Ji's personal servant before his departure. He was asked to bring this to you." My father stopped him, handing over a small handmade silk pouch. Everyone craned their necks as Zhou Yu shook its contents out onto his palm.

It was a small white shell. Xiao Qiao's 'treasure'.

Zhou Yu closed his eyes and his hands tightened on the shell. He looked close to a break down again and Ce quickly rushed up and put his hands on his shoulders, steadying him. Murmuring quiet words of comfort, Ce lead Zhou Yu back towards his and Xiao Qiao's chambers.

"What the? A shell?" One of the Generals scoffed as he too, hoped it to be one of the exquisite jewels owned by the royalties in the Northern Territory that we have heard so much about.

"Seems to be going around," Huang Gai's booming voice interjected, "for I heard that the remains of Lord Zhang He was also holding on to a shell when the servants found him in his tent."

"Curious, indeed."

Later that night, after Xiao Qiao had fallen asleep, I saw Zhou Yu wonder into the imperial gardens, his straight brown hair blowing behind him, his footsteps echoing in the silent night.

_What was he doing in this late hour? _

Instinctively I followed him, careful not to disturb him as he stood by the lotus pond, murmuring to himself.

"…Lady Zhen Ji, a thousand apologies and a thousand thanks. I am eternally in your debt. For all that you have done: saving Xiao from that god awful place and giving me a second chance, I thank you. Words cannot express my gratitude. I pray that in the next life I will be able to repay your kindness."

He lit a candle and gently placed it on a lotus leaf, watching it drift lazily in the current.

"May you rest in peace, Lady Zhen Ji."

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Ha ha, I unintentionally made Quan a pompous brat! Love it! I was quite reluctant to write in his perspective at first (can you tell that he's not one of my favourites?) but it just kept getting more interesting. I must admit that I too, am the middle child, so most of Quan's whinges are actually based on my own pathetic whining!

A bit random, but I recently had some of the red bean rice cakes (Anko-mochi) mentioned in the previous chapter and it was o-so-delicious! I totally recommend it next time you wander to Asia (it is not a Japan specific delicacy as I have tried some in Taiwan once and it was YUMMY to the max) ^0^. I felt like Xiao as I scoffed it down! Sigh, now I am just waiting for my Zhou Yu to sweep me off my feet ~~

*looks around*

No takers?

Ouch for me.

Totally unrelated to anything but…has anyone seen how Zhou looks in DW7? Personally, I don't dig it….at all. Sigh. Does he (and Ce) have to look so angry? I much prefer him in DW5! I'm starting to get used to him in DW6 (Leggings…seriously!) but still, the femininity in his features in 7 was going too far I think! Ce in 6 made me squeal like a little school girl! I have to say he's got me! Da looks amazing in 7! Fingers crossed Xiao will look good!

Can't wait for the release!

BTW, reviews would be great!


	11. Flower Embraced First Encounter

Thank you to **Zhou Ying, SinisterKat, Jiqaio, Vanilla Strife, Dustjericho, Ame-chan **and **Branchscamper **for your words of encouragement! They mean the world to me

The next chapters will be in flashback form, and will run chronologically. In short, just treat it as if you are reading a normal novel. _Italics _denotes that it is in flashback form and standard text will show when time is passing normally again.

THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU **Ying **for your "Flashback or Dummies" tutorial! I am forever in your debt *tear* and honestly, if it wasn't for you, I would still be arguing with Nee about the so called 'rules' of flashbacks (which would have been resolved by pointless rounds of Tekken and fights over whether 10 hit combos should be allowed… yes, both Yuu and Nee are living proofs that age and maturity are not positively related!

**NOTE: **After talking with Ying, I have decided to make some very minor changes to this chapter to help the overall flow. Thank you so SOOOO much, Ying. You truly are a star :)

Anyhow, enough of my trivial crap…

**Disclaimer: Don't own.**

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**Flower Embraced First Encounter  
**

**Zhou Yu's Perspective**

I gently brushed stray locks of hair that fell across your fair, sleeping face. It has been approximately a hundred and fifty days since you have been trapped into this lifeless form; a hundred and fifty days since my insides turned to stone. I sometimes wonder what is going through your mind as you lay on our bed, eyes open but unseeing, alive but unfeeling. I would give anything, anything, to wake you from this nightmare. I would sell my soul just to be able to take a breath, and feel the same pain that you are feeling. It is so hard to believe that you and I were apart for only ten days.

Ten short days. To me, those ten days felt like an eternity.

Ten days, and you have changed so completely. Ten days, and now you no longer recognise me anymore.

During our marriage, the happiest weeks of my life, I have wholeheartedly memorised everything about you, every little detail. You have a little mole at the small of your back, like a small dot of ink on a blank sheet of paper. Your left cheek dimples whenever you smiled and your eyes would automatically sparkle, like the sunlight hitting the clear blue waves. Like me, you also have tiny scars on the tip of your fingers from the years of playing the zither. I had thought that we shared a strong love for music, however, we could not be more unlike in that perspective. You did not care for the lovely melody that your fingers could produce. To you, the miniature indents were only cruel reminders of what you and your sister had to do to entertain your suitors. It was a 'symbol of confinement' of sorts, making you look at the instrument with distaste. I longed to be able to one day change your views, to let you appreciate the beautiful skill that you have.

You loved riddles and regretfully, I never did get the answer for the riddle you made, the riddle that kept me up all night rummaging through all the books in the library as you laughed so hard at my frustrated expression.

"_Here's a riddle that I'll bet you can't figure out: What is dressed in red and is the sweetest thing in the whole kingdom?"_

Well, my first guess was the red wine in the Lord Sun Jian's personal cellar that he has been saving for Shang Xiang's wedding banquet since her the day of her birth. That response was followed by your signature pout and nose crinkle. An obvious no. Since then I've tried our red Wu Victory banner, strawberries, candied tomatoes… everything! Your responses were comical. Especially when I replied: "personally, I would say that it would be your lips, of course." Your cheeks blushed so red that night; redder than the roses in the gardens, the blush suiting you so well.

Red.

Your favourite colour is red. It was light blue, and according to Da, it has been since you were little, but you recently changed to red, blushing feverishly when I asked you why. Your response still raises the colour of my cheeks.

"_Well…it's because…well, because you look so good in red, of course!"_

And there are other things. Like what makes you smile. What makes your brows crinkle deep in thought. What makes your cheeks puff out in anger as your dainty hands attempt to beat me to death. And most importantly, how I could stop the tears from flowing down your cheeks. The list is endless. Every day I would find something new. Every day I grow more impressed by you. I once commented that you were, what was it, 'intriguing', didn't I? Well, maybe I should have said 'captivating', 'alluring' or even 'enchanting' instead.

No. None of these words would do. You are more than all the adjectives in the world combined together.

The memories of our time together, although they warm my cold dead heart, it's just not the same. I crave to see you flit about the palace again like a vivacious butterfly in the summer breeze. Just to see you smile once more…just to have the thought of that happiness. Just to see you dance into my study, attempting to scold me for overworking. Just to see you break off mid sentence, the frown slowly disappearing as I cup your pastel pink cheek in my palm, your warmth a contrast to my cold hands.

"_Lord Zhou Yu…"_

You would whisper, your voice as sweet as honey. Even if it was just my name, it was enough to get my heart thumping. 'Lord Zhou Yu'. Everyone in the palace addressed me by that name, yet when it came from your lips, it sounded strangely unique.

It's usually around here that I would lose my self control. Before I know it, you are in my arms, my lips down your jaw line, my mind whirling around in your sweet scent. You never reproached me for my crude behaviour, for letting my desire take charge. You were just so forgiving. But even as I tightly embraced your frail shoulders, I feel as though you'll vanish. What would I do then? My heart trembles at the thought. I would hold you tighter as I vow to myself that I would hold you like this forever, so that you'll never disappear.

But I broke that promise as well.

Would you forgive me as easily as you always do?

I know you would, and it hurts that much more. Your eternally unchanging kindness is the chain that binds me to oblivion, as remorse devours me little by little.

You were always so strong and merciful. You had endured your Father's abuse without complaint, tolerated those perverted men's gawks. My blood would always boil over at the thought of you, helpless and cowering away from those disgusting men, the long steel blade of my sword longing to drink their warm blood. Your words, your touch, they would always calm me, expel the demon inside that longed to kill those vermin, make me humane again. I was strong when I was with you. Just the very sight of you melted any weakness I might have, any pain, any fatigue. But now I am weak. And until you come back to me, then I keep getting weaker.

I looked across at our room. It is hard to believe that it was once our sanctuary, home to some of the most pleasant memories of my life. Now it is only a cruel reminder of how much I have failed you. Somehow, I could still hear your melodic laughter echoing off the walls. Perhaps it is all in my mind.

"_Zhou! Are you working too hard again?"_

Even though it was only an echo, it never fails to bring a smile to my lips.

I have filled every surface of our room with flowers. I remember that you once said that you adored flowers and after seeing your face bloom into your beautiful smile at the sight of them, I must admit that I have grown rather fond of them as well. I had hoped that when you wake up from your nightmare, your favourite flowers would be the first thing that greets you; that they would provide a reminder of the beauty this world still has to offer. But as the flowers slowly wither and fade, I am caught with an overwhelming sense of grief. Maybe you too, are like the scattering beautiful blossoms, its beauty short-lived. I had once childishly batted away those fears and believed that I could keep you for all eternity. I once heroically believed that I was your knight in shining armour, your hero in waiting. I thought that I was the one who could give you freedom, the one who would provide you with the happiness you deserved.

But I wasn't. I had let you experienced the most pain in the world. I had let you fall right into the deepest pits of hell. I had let the demon that plagued your dreams devour you completely. Now it seems that this cruel world does not deserve to hold you, as I had lost my right to call you mine.

Every day I would get up and resume my post next to you, watching as the rays of sunlight slowly travel across your lovely face. During the day your sister, Da, would sit next to me, joining in my silent vigil. It would seem that waiting for you has become the sole purpose of her existence as well. Neither of us would speak much. She has aged so much, her beauty slowly devoured by her misery. Ce has voiced his concern of her wellbeing, and mine for that matter, on numerous occasions. I have to agree with him. I don't think it is a far exaggeration that she too, resembled death herself. My heart would always clench as I thought of your expression if you saw how much your dear sister has died inside. It would kill you, too.

"Da…" I would whisper, my eyes still on you, my hoarse voice sounding like a boom of a trumpet in our silence.

She would close her eyes, turning her head slightly but not looking away from you either.

"No, thank you Zhou. I'm fine. I'm not leaving until Xiao wakes up." She would croak out yet again, day after day.

"She wouldn't want this, you hurting yourself like this." I would counter, using her own words against her.

That would earn a small smirk from her; although it is only an imitation of her former beauty. "So, the kettle decides to call the pot black. Irony does not suit you, Lord Zhou Yu." She would joke, and we would share the same humourless laugh, not unlike a cough, as our eyes dart eagerly towards your face, hoping our little exchange amused you.

Nothing.

And so we would resume our silence again, until late in the afternoon when Ce, tired from his day of Court and training, would intervene and physically move your sister back to their chambers, where I've heard the atmosphere was no better than in here.

On odd days Shang Xiang would join us briefly as well, until she could take no more of the suffocating silence. Ling Tong and Gan Ning would drop by occasionally, chatting to try and enliven the mood. I am grateful to them as I know that you wouldn't have liked the solemn silence. Lu Xun would also appear, with papers he would want me to review from court, as this is the only place he could find me now. The boy has matured so much in the blink of an eye. He has taken over some of my responsibilities and has even started to attend court on my behalf, taking down notes and passing them on to me to review later on at night. I know that the whole palace thinks that I have gone insane, and on the rare times I do venture outside of our rooms to collect reports to review, everyone gives me a wide berth, avoiding any forms of eye contact. I don't mind at all, because they're not far off the mark. Without you, I am nothing.

Not Lord Zhou Yu, the State Strategist.

Not General Zhou Yu, the commander of the Lord Sun Ce's Second Unit.

I am nothing.

Every day I would look intently into your eyes, hoping to see flickers of life as your friends surround your bedside.

Every day the cold waves of disappointment would swallow me. I felt like a castle of sand being lapped continuously by the merciless waves. Soon, there will be nothing left, and I would just 'exist', like you. It is a strange serenity, the thought that I am able to share the same fate as you.

Slowly the sun would dip down, signalling the end of the day and illuminating our room with a pleasant shade of orange. I would then watch the moonlight colour your pale features into a light monochrome, your once cherry lips a pale grey. Even in a world without colour, you are still the most beautiful thing I have ever seen. As the moon too, slowly travels through the night sky, I would feel another wave of disappointment.

Another day I have lived through without you.

Another day wasted.

It was as if another grain of sand had travelled through the hourglass, the content slowly emptying. I now understand your words, from so long ago.

"_If I am able to talk to you, to see you, no, just to be able to think about you, I would consider it a day well spent. Of course, I am greedy by nature, so even if I was able to spend every moment with you, at the end of the day, I would still wish that I could have one more kiss."_

The sweetness of your voice lingers as my mind savours every memory we've had together. Like a drug, they are so fulfilling yet at the same time, so unsatisfying. I could imprint your laughter, your words into my mind but it never does it justice. But these fading memories are all I have now.

"Xiao…do you remember when we first meet?"

I asked your still form, hoping to hear your response. It's funny, but I have taken to talking to you as you lay still in your dream. It was somewhat comforting, to know that there was a very slight chance that you were listening, that you still exist in the same world as me. But it was mostly saddening, to continuously feed my false hope that you would one day wake up and I could hear your sweet voice again. Sometimes, I would reminisce on the most precious times in my life – the times we have shared together. Other times I would simply tell you about my day. It is amazing. Ever since I let go of your hand that day as you announced that you were going down to the markets, living has become unbearably dreary…to the extent that sometimes a whole day would past and I would not be able to tell you how I've spent it. I cannot even remember how I was able to live my life before you found me.

"You may not recall but for me, it was truly the beginning of my life…"

Gently, I allowed my lips to touch your fingertips, marvelling at the familiar quickening of my heart whenever I touched your soft skin. The lingering jasmine and honey scent hadn't changed one bit – it still tore down my defences completely. Almost roughly, I pressed your cold hand against my cheek, allowing my mind to drift away from reality, into another time when you were still at my side…

_**One year ago...**_

**Zhou Yu's Perspective**

_It was finally the beginning of spring, winter passing incredibly slowly this year. The whole kingdom was bustling with the news that Master Qiao Xuan would make an appearance in the Lord Sun Jian's birthday celebration. I, too, was looking forward to his arrival, for I heard that the Master Qiao Xuan was an excellent scholar, and was very knowledgeable on governance practices of ancient civilisations. I had suggested to our Lord Sun Jian that this was a very valuable opportunity as we may be able to obtain priceless manuscripts from his collection. _

_Indeed, his trip to our kingdom had been priceless, for Ce and I at least._

_I remember the strange tranquillity of the palace as I made my way towards the banquet hall. According to my student, Lu Xun, the Master Qiao Xuan had also brought his two daughters, whose beauty was said to shame the moon in the night sky. Well, this explains the lack of training in the morning. I guess the men had stormed the hall early in the hopes of securing the best seat. They were so…vulgar. No matter how supposedly beautiful the women were, they were still people, and not a piece of meat. It was times like these that I really despise my fellow comrades._

_Personally, I preferred the moon. It had been my loyal companion during my long hours in my study. It was strangely fascinating: the shimmering glow from the full moon, the curious shape of the crescent moon and the modesty of the new moon. It was so unpredictable, so captivating. Women on the other hand, well I guess the saying: 'they get what they want through their tears, tantrums and the noose' couldn't have portrayed them any better. I shuddered, remembering the last encounter I had with a woman. Waking up next to one (after a relatively good night I must admit) was bad enough, but having her follow me around the next week got to be very very annoying, especially since Ce would chuckle every time I saw him._

_This reminded me of another disturbing thought. The Lord Sun Jian had not so subtly hinted that Ce and I really ought to consider our future. By 'future' he had not meant our dream of the expansion of the Wu Kingdom of course. He was thinking more on the lines of…marriage. I would feign deafness whenever he brought it up, but Ce would not back down without a fight._

"_No deal, Pops. One night is one thing but commitment and sentiment would just get in the way. The glorious future that our ancestors had mapped out for our people should be our first and only priority."_

_Ce once remarked, sounding more and more like a natural-born emperor and I had to agree. Though I understand that at the age of 24, Ce and I cannot use our youth as an excuse anymore, but marriage was just something so insignificant, so…trivial in comparison to the glorious future of the Wu Kingdom, I hardly think it is something worth mentioning, or even thinking. _

_Moreover, to be perfectly blunt, I am not one suited for happiness. I was a demon at the tender age of seven. I had lost to bloodlust again and again. I do not deserve happiness, even in its broadest form, the blood on my hands were proof of that. _

_Ce would always scoff at my misery. "What else could you have done? You know the only way to settle a blood feud. You cannot blame yourself – this is the nature of the warring times. It cannot be helped."_

_After seeing my unconvinced expression he would always hit me on the back of my head, hard. "If you've got blood on your hands, then what does that make me? I'm on the same boat as you, man!"_

_True. To take a life is an unavoidable part of life as a soldier, and ever since a young age, Ce has seen the horrors of the battlefield and has been an unwilling participant too many times. But I cannot bring myself to tell him that he and I were different. He took lives so that one day his children would not have to do what he had to do, so that his people could live in peace. A world without bloodshed and violence – Eden, he once put it. It was all for the greater good._

_On the other hand, I did it to satisfy my personal vendetta, for my own personal gain._

_I am no better than the ones that killed…her. My mother._

_This uncertain era does have it nuisances though. We never know how long this serenity would last. We may be called to battle any time, we may lose our lives any day, hence Lord Sun Jian's urgency. I suppose if it would let the Lord Sun Jian and the General Huang Gai – whom have both raised me as a son, breathe a sigh of relief, then no matter how wearisome, I will do it. _

_Feeling the familiar irritation whenever I think of the court ladies whom are disagreeable at best, downright irritating at worst, I decided to take a detour and walk through the gardens to clear my mind. No doubt I would have to see them again, as it was usually around times of celebrations that the Lord Sun Jian would match Ce and I with "the best picks of the lot" and somehow or rather, they would end up in our bed chambers. Perhaps I should get it over and done with. Marriage. Continuing on my family's name. But was I really that vulgar that I would see my wife as a means of reproduction? Then I really would be no more than an animal. An animal like them…_

_The familiar salty taste of rage swirled around as the flames that burnt so brightly that night flickered in my mind. I could hear their screaming. They were suffering, and so they should, after what they had done. I could almost see the distorted smile I must have worn as I flicked my wrist casually, leaving a trail of blood dripping from the sword that belonged to my father, and my feet taking me towards the direction where I heard more voices…more lives to end. I shook my head impatiently._

_No. Not again._

_I promised Ce that I would let it go._

_I quickened my strides and my footsteps echoed down the empty corridor. Seeing the pastel petals of the flowers, their sweet aroma drifting in the soft breeze, my mind cleared somewhat, but I could still feel the agitation pulsing in my veins. I was about to leave when I heard a sudden rustle behind me, my body tensing, my hand on my sword._

"…_oh I knew I saw it around here somewhere. It's such a lovely shade of purple – Da's favourite colour, and I know it would complement her dress perfectly. I hope I find it soon, she must be worried by now."_

_It was a small girl dressed in blue. Her tidy brown hair swayed lightly as she gathered her long dress in her arms, her eyes scanning the garden. She seemed absorbed in finding whatever it is she was looking for, completely oblivious to my being here. I cannot begin to explain why the sight of her calmed my previous irritation instantly. Perhaps it was the way she moved, the way the camellia petals swayed behind her, or how softly she spoke, I honestly don't know. The scene was truly a work of art. I was momentarily stunned, wondering who on earth she could be. _

"_Ah, there it is!" _

_She squealed, pointing at a pale lavender camellia, whose petals were not yet fully in bloom, but nevertheless emanated a beautiful sense of modesty that was not unlike the bashful new moon. However, it was on a pot hanging off the ceiling rafts and even as the girl stood on her tip toes, it was just a few inches out of reach, her fingers lightly brushing the base of the petals._

_As her face broke into a frown, I stepped forward, startling her._

"_I-I-I am so sorry. I did not see you there, my lord." She stammered, going onto her knees immediately. I had not meant to be intimidating. I had thought that I was being courteous._

"_Here you go." _

_Gently, I plucked the flower from the branch and held it towards her. She looked up, confusion colouring her hazel eyes. Her eyes reminded me of autumn leaves; a very pleasant and warm shade of brown. I must have stood there admiring her longer than I should have as immediately, her features hardened, her lips a thin line. _

"_I thank you, my lord." She said, barely moving her lips, her cold tone a direct contrast to her warm eyes. Taking the flower, she was very careful to not touch my hand. As she sank into a small curtsey and turned to leave, her slight movement wafted the most alluring scent – honey and jasmine, towards me. It was strangely enticing. I felt an irrational pang of regret as I watched her retreating figure._

_I have to admit that my first impression of her was one of pure and utter confusion. Never had I received such an apathetic and almost cold response from anyone, let alone a woman. Given our youth and success, Ce and I attracted a lot of attention amongst women. A lot more than we would have liked. But I did not think much of it as I made my way towards the dining chamber. Most likely she was the newest addition to our growing population of aristocrats. As Ce and Quan reached the age to be wed, the number of nobles who had introduced their daughters into the palace has increased exponentially. Most tend to linger around mindlessly, batting their eyes and what not while those that were brave enough tried to 'befriend' Princess Shang Xiang, no doubt as a excuse to try and talk to Ce or Quan. Needless to say, Shang Xiang was not impressed, and strangely enough, told the girls to accompany her in weird rituals such as tiger cub feeding and bear wrestling. After the first batch of girls went home, crying no doubt, the Lord Sun Jian had to step in. But Shang Xiang stood her ground. The reasons were simple. One, she who uses Shang Xiang as a tool shall regret that decision for the rest of their lives. Two… well, she was getting bored in the palace anyway (since we were all so preoccupied with campaigns lately) and she needed a way to vent._

_I rolled my eyes. We really have too many of those girls floating around, it really isn't an efficient and effective use of our resources! Ce once joked that if they had spent as much time training as they did trying to seduce him, then we would indeed become the strongest kingdom of the land. I gave a small chuckle, my eyes looking up to find my sworn brother in the crowded dining banquet hall. He was there, more or less, twiddling his fingers and wearing an expression that told me that he would much prefer being outside in the fields training his newly acquired stallion, than in the stuffy room watching some girls bat their eyelashes._

_However, fate seems to have something special in store for us._

_The doors flew open and I saw her again, her expression just as indecipherable as it was in the gardens. It was a very forced smile, not unlike the cracks on a dry deserted road. It reminded me strangely of the suffocating helplessness I used to feel as the Lord Sun Jian introduced me to the other Generals and counsellors. I can see it in their eyes. I was no more than an unwelcomed intrusion, an obstacle obstructing them from their goals of progressing higher up in the ranks. Some even boldly stated that the whole incident was just a set up to catch the Lord Sun Jian's attentions as he rode through the country side, and that the plan had worked brilliantly, as I was now the Lord Sun Jian's godson. Those rumours and whispers would always make my blood boil. If I had a choice in this, I would definitely not let my mother and countless others become the price for my fame and luxury. _

_I sighed quietly, the particularly unpleasant memory giving me a migraine. Shifting uncomfortably, I nudged Ce quietly on the elbow, trying to get his attention._

"_Ce," I whispered, "I might just head back to my chambers now, I will apologise to our lord later."_

_But, as it turns out, I was being ignored. _

_Ce's eyes were fixed on the other girl, who had the same lavender camellia pinned into her long ebony locks. She too, had very sorrowful eyes as she tilted her head and moved her lips into a well practiced smile. _

_As the melody of their song resounded, the fabric of their dresses fluttering like flower petals, I felt my eyes automatically rest back on the girl with the soft brown hair, where I saw a flash of the most sorrowful expression I have ever seen. _

_It was the final piece to the puzzle._

_She hated this life. She hated being on exhibition. She hated the full house at this theatre of lust and injustice, in which she was the main attraction. But even if she loathed it, she has learnt to accept it; she has grown accustomed to the men's staring and suggestive comments. It was her fate. Understanding her misery, I found that I could not appreciate her dance; the upbeat melody conflicting with her hopelessness. I looked away; my mind scolding me for looking at the poor girl as if she was a thing, a conquest. I would not sink so low. There are plenty of hormone-driven men in this castle as it is._

_And then I saw it, the flash of determination in her eyes as she dropped the fan she was twirling around, the look of rebellion on her face. Expectantly, her body turned towards her father as he rushed in and pulled her into a curtsey. After yelling some cruel threats, he commanded her to serve my lord tea on her knees. Her fingers shook as the cup rattled on the tray, her mouth stammering some apologies to my lord. And there it was again. The look of courageous rebellion as the tray began to shake violently, her fingers nudging the cup towards my lord._

"_No. Xiao."_

_I heard her sister whisper, giving two subtle but firm shakes of her head. The Lady Xiao Qiao looked back down onto the ground as her sister stepped forward to resolve the carnage she had created with her wit and smile._

_I think I understand now. She was a puppet in which her father had a tight hold on the strings. Her every breath, every movement was at his command. He had scripted a perfect show, a show that would lead my lord to become infatuated with his two daughters, thus securing him with benefits. She was no more than an actor in the play, a pawn in the game. But little did he know that his little pawn was not a willing participant in the game. She did not want perfection. She wanted chaos. The ruined dance, the spilt tea – every little unexpected move, every retaliation against his will, was a victory for her. A victory that he would make her pay later. Even though her victory seemed so insignificant, and came at such a price, it really rendered me speechless. How could the humiliation and pain that came with her actions really constitute a victory? Was an unwanted marriage really that unbearable, to the extent that all the hurt was justified? _

_I could feel the strategist in me react automatically, disapproving her actions. This game will not bring a good outcome for her. Haunted by helplessness, she cannot see reason. She has lost sight of her goal. The life that this dangerous game she is playing with her father will bring nothing but a continuous spiral of hurt. However, I must admit, even I cannot see an easy way out of her predicament._

_**Xiao Qiao's Perspective**_

_I hate this place; the rich tapestry, the false warm smile of their Lord. They are all the same: Father, our disgusting suitors, everyone. No one sees Da and I as people. We are only objects to them, for their own personal pleasure. _

_I hate dressing up; the powder and blush that suffocate my skin, having to hold still as Da lines my eyes with sharpened charcoal. I hate watching her brows contract in worry and conflict. I understand that look well, for I feel the same as I line her fine, thin lips with red colouring. Of course I am filled with pride as I marvel at how beautiful my sister looks, but I don't want anyone else to see her beauty, for she will attract unwanted attention from lusty lords that will not appreciate her for who she is. Da is the only person in this world who is just as beautiful on the outside as she is in the inside, even more so than my mother, whom I did not have the good fortune to get to know. She was graced with beauty that makes the famous Lady Xi Shi and the renowned dancer, the Lady Diao Chan, seem feeble in comparison. Da is as intelligent as a raven, and calm like the cold, frosty winter mornings of Suiyang. Every time Father is upset with me, she always knew what to say to cool him down, and drag me back from the sea of despair._

_I hate having to call this place 'home' for the next while – apparently their Lord is very interested in some of the manuscripts that Father had brought along, and Father is giddy with all the gold that he was getting. I heard that he had even sent someone back home to retrieve more of his collection for the Lord. I just hope that the manuscripts were all they were after. I hate the way the servants bow at me, the Generals smile at me; their insincere kindness failing to conceal the lust in their eyes. If they dare lay a finger on my dear sister, I swear it will be the last thing they do! What I would give to be able to just go back home to Suiyang with Da. But I know that Father had other plans in store for us. I heard that for the next couple of days, Da and I were to visit the township with the two Heirs to the throne – the Lords Sun Ce and Sun Quan. It all seems very convenient, doesn't it? No doubt they were our latest suitors, and Da and I were no more than a shiny new toy for them. At least it is some consolation that because they are related, Da and I would still see each after our marriage. That is all I ask for in life._

_I looked around, a shudder spreading through involuntarily. This place is no different to Lord Dong Zhuo's harem, nor to Lord Cao Cao's tower. I quickened my pace, eager to be with Da again. Father had called me to his chambers before breakfast to 'remind' me of my place again, my arms stinging as every word was accentuated with a slash of his bamboo cane. He was still angry about my 'lack of class' at the Lord Sun Jian's birthday banquet yesterday. It would seem he did not find my 'magic trick' amusing, as did the other Generals. But whatever the punishment, I think it was worth it. I have not seen Da laugh like that in so long and to be honest, I have not had so much…fun in a while. I really enjoyed talking to the boy whose name I cannot recall. He was so young and carefree, he did not repulse me at all, did not make me feel like tonight's supper. I guess that's why I can let my guard down around him, joke around with him. The boy does not have a chance. Not to doubt his potentials for I can tell that he will indeed achieve great things for this kingdom, but Father is not into long-term investments per se, he does not have the patience. Father will take the highest bid, which at this stage still appears to be Lord Cao Cao of Wei. _

_As my mind wondered off to the Northern Territory, my whole body froze over, as if I was plunged into the cold Yellow River in the middle of winter. _

_The Northern Territory. _

_Home to the most terrifying memory of my life. _

_Father said that he had some business with the Lord Cao Cao, a very famous and capable warlord and emperor of the mighty Kingdom of Wei, and surprisingly, he had ordered me to accompany him. My first 'field trip'. The first time I was ever allowed out of the Manor. I was very excited! All I could think about was the souvenirs I could buy Da._

_But the trip was not what I had expected._

_In the richly decorated chamber of the beautiful He Fei Castle, I understood just how terrifying the Hero of Chaos, no, all men were. I could still feel the revulsion that saturated my body as the Lord Cao Cao made his way towards me, the lust unconcealed in his eyes. I could still remember my heart sinking at the sight of Father's smile as he slapped my hands away from their desperate hold on his sleeve, bowing to the Lord Cao Cao and walking out the door. I remember the hurt from Father's betrayal while being relieved that at least this was not happening to my dear older sister. I could still hear my cries, begging for Father to come back, pleading with the Lord Cao Cao to spare me. _

_His aroused laugh echoed in my mind as my knees failed, bringing my body to come crashing down on to the floor. My shaking hands grasped the nearby handrail of the stairway for support, my mind fighting the impulse to vomit._

"_Lady Xiao Qiao, are you alright?"_

_I have heard of that voice before, though I cannot remember where. It reminded me strangely of a garden full of blooming camellias but I dared not look up; fearful that my memory of Lord Cao Cao's frightening face would overlap with reality._

_At an instant, I felt the air move as the figure crouched down next to me, his long brown hair swaying as he moved. His dark eyes searched mine, and I was lost within the deep pools of colours I have never seen before. It was strangely alluring._

"_I'll help you back to your chambers, my lady." He continued in his unemotional, methodical tone, his eyes darting across my face, checking for signs of obvious injuries. "I think you may be running with a fever."_

_Slowly, his hands reached towards my sweat streaked forehead. At a flash, my mind snapped. All I saw was Lord Cao Cao's excited grin as his hands reached towards my soft skin. Without stopping to think, I quickly reached for my hairpin, the one with the sharpened end, my secret weapon that I keep with me to protect Da and myself from harm. I slashed quickly through the air, keen to stall his movement. _

"_No!" I screamed. _

_Defensively, my whole body cowered against the wall, my arms over my head. I heard a hushed gasp; my eyes darting up, peaking through my lashes. Instead of seeing the frightening man in blue silk that haunted my dreams, I saw a complete stranger. A man dressed in fine red silk robes squatted in front of me, staring at the red line that ran through his palm, his brow contracted with confusion. Droplets of blood fell on to the carpet. I looked down at my hairpin which was not in my hair but lying on the ruffles of my dress, the end a shining red. _

_I had not attacked the Northern Lord. I had attacked an Officer of Wu._

_I blinked, trying to tell myself that this was just a horrible dream, not wanting to face reality and think about the implications of what I had just done. The metallic tinge of the blood was very overwhelming and strangely familiar. My mind was flickering again, another memory started to flicker in and out, my eyes losing focus on the man in front of me. I could hear echoes of a deep voice yelling in my mind and a clash of what I presumed to be thunder and lightning. _

"…_it's your fault. This is all your fault!"_

_Through the darkness, a pair of eyes glared at me, hate and disgust very evident in the dark irises. My heart started to race at once. _

_Who is that?_

_Petrified, my scared stiff legs gave a twitch and a movement in front of me caught my attention. The man in red was back in my vision again, although clearly he hadn't moved an inch while my mind wandered off. He looked up at me, his dark eyes held no traces of the anger he should be feeling but instead, a never-ending pool of emptiness._

"…_Are you alright, my lady?" I heard him whisper, his tone very careful and still without feeling._

"…_I…I…" I whimpered, my eyes darting around, my heart beating faster and louder._

_And then, just like a criminal caught red handed, I found myself running away from the crime scene, the rushing wind failing to block out the pounding of my heart._

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**So I changed a few things, here and there (two, from memory). I don't think you'd notice it really...Free prize for anyone who can spot them ...haha ^0^;If you could leave a review, I would be very very happy :)**


	12. The Judgement and the Dance

There is a story to this one. It was not nearly as long as it is now, but I was beaten with a Da/Ce stick by a certain **Ame-chan **so I had thought I would add in more of those two to make her day :P And since she is soooo awesome, I decided to jumbo size this chapter ~~

Enjoy this one, girl! You are awesome! I mean, who else conquers massive time differences to play FF with me while chatting on Skype?

And on retrospective look the chapter flows much better now! Perhaps you should beat me with the stick more often! OK…sounding weird now…I totally did not meant it to come out like that :P

Thank you **Dia, Ame-chan, **and **Ying** for all your generous reviews! **Ying** especially for taking the time to review my later work! My dear, you truly are very very very very wonderful to me!

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**The Judgement and the Dance**

**Da Qiao's Perspective**

_My heart is still pounding hard in my chest and I felt as if I was but an ant crawling on a burning frying pan, my feeble attempts of escape almost laughable. Xiao had just told me, through her tears and her sobs, that she had attacked a Wu officer. With her hairpin. And then subsequently ran away._

_I have always known that Xiao was very uneasy around men and our father was definitely to blame as the male guests that have visited our manor have not have been courteous by any standards, but somehow her unease has intensified since Father took her along for his business trip to the Wei capital…_

_I clenched my fists, unwilling to put my fears into words. Although the Lord Cao Cao was said to be a man of greatness, his ambition was rumoured to be unmatched by his appetite for women. My sister, my Xiao Qiao, was a true beauty. Surely, no one can resist her innocence and the cold beauty she radiates? Please don't tell me he let his desire get the best of him and attacked my dear sister… Would that be why Xiao's actions had become so unpredictable around men?_

_Fury brewed inside me immediately at the thought of what the Lord Cao Cao had done, when Xiao was far away from my protection, and what the Wu Officer might have done to trigger Xiao's violent response. If he had tried to take advantage of my dear little sister, then I believe that he deserved every bit of pain that Xiao had inflicted on him. He better pray to his ancestors that he would never have the misfortune of running into me. Nothing made me more upset than to see my little sister in any sort of discomfort._

_However, the seriousness of the situation was also unsettling. Even if the man had violated Xiao, even if morally she was within her rights to defend herself against such monster, in the current law, she had still committed an inexcusable sin – brought harm to a man, and a superior. Nothing could save her from punishment. Perhaps she would be exiled? Perhaps she would be beaten? Perhaps they would…._

_No._

_Not if I could help it._

_I thought immediately about the Lord Sun Ce. He has been the kindest person I have met in the Kingdom of Wu. _

_On our first night at the palace, after the Princess Shang Xiang had shown us to our rooms, he came to check if we were alright with our lodgings. I could not believe it. The Heir of the Kingdom, the Lord Sun Ce, had personally asked if there was anything that he could do to help! Was this his normal level of courtesy to guests? He had even brought some ointment for Xiao after Father had publically humiliated her by slapping her across the face in front of everyone. I have to admit that for some reason, I found the little glass vial very handy to keep in my pocket. Well, there is no sense in letting good antiseptic go to waste now is there?_

_Anyway, I was overwhelmed by the Lord Sun Ce's sincerity. He wanted to make sure that our each and every need were taken care of, right down to whether we were well fed, warm enough and he would have kept asking if the Princess Shang Xiang hadn't ushered him out of our rooms. Although I giggled at the events afterwards while I was unpacking our things, Xiao remained apprehensive about the whole ordeal, and was especially critical of our new Lord. I didn't know why it bothered me so much. It saddens me when Xiao thought like that, when she would question one's kindness so readily. I know that Xiao had every reason to do so as she was right – men wanted our bodies and pleasure in exchange for their shows of untruthful kindness, there was no point in denying it. But I felt that Xiao's portrayal of the Lord Sun Ce did not serve him justice. After all, we hardly knew him, let alone his 'intent'. _

"_Xiao, I don't believe that every act of kindness is done with an intent. Perhaps he was genuinely concerned for us. Moreover, he seems very nice…in an awkward sort of way." I reasoned, dapping a bit of the liquid from the glass vial of antiseptic onto my handkerchief and gently massaged Xiao's cheek._

"_Sure. I mean, I'd give him full marks for flattery." She snapped, turning her head away from me and shrugging herself into the blankets, speaking with her back to me. _

_I've rarely heard Xiao use such a cold tone with me, it froze me to my bone. It was very unsettling, the way her moods would change so abruptly. It was hard to believe that just a few moments ago, we were in these very chambers chatting excitedly to the Princess Shang Xiang about trivial things that now seem so far away. Just a little while ago, Xiao was a very keen participant in our conversation, her face lit up by her carefree smile that I adored but only got to see when it was just the two of us. She joked around. She even laughed. How could she and the cold girl in front of me really both be my sister, Xiao Qiao?_

_The only possible rationale for such abrupt change in atmosphere was when the Lord Sun Ce entered our room, where Xiao resumed her deaf-mute state, and stared at the floor for the duration of the conversation. _

_Was it the fear of men that was plaguing my younger sister? Do they repulse her right to the extent that she cannot stand to be in the vicinity of one? But surely that cannot be the case, for on the night of our arrival, she seemed to have gotten along great with the boy at our table, the Master Ling Tong._

"_He is after our body, Da. Never forget that." Xiao murmured from under her sheets, continuing our conversation, her tone as cold as steel. "He and the rest of the lustful turncoats in this filthy palace that Father has lined up for us. I hope they all rot in hell."_

_I stifled a gasp at her choice in language. That confirmed my fears. Xiao feared men who could potentially become our suitors. Xiao feared those that Father had intentionally placed on our paths. The fear she has had gradually swelled into hatred, hatred so deep she would curse men she hardly knew to their deaths, and enjoy every second of such sinful vindictive pleasure. Although she is right, as the disgusting men that had graced us with their presence were all after the same thing, I can't help but hope that she is wrong about her assumption of the Lord Sun Ce. How could that warm, sincere smile he had really be a mask of lies? The world truly wouldn't be such a beautiful place with such a dreary outlook._

_I thought about how he had helped me this morning, after I had freaked out about not finding Xiao in the dining chambers after Ling Mei told me that Xiao had already gone to attend breakfast. The Lord Sun Ce was the first and only person to notice my agitation at the dining table. All the time while we were eating, I brainstormed different places Xiao could be, all the while trying to feign interest in the general chatter, my cheeks tense with nerves. I decided to set off to find Father, for he too, was missing from the dining chambers. I had a gloomy feeling that Xiao had been summoned by him and his absence made me more urgent to find Xiao. I know that Father was still very angry at her for what she had done at the Lord Sun Jian's birthday banquet, and I cannot even think about the pain she would be in if Father sought to punish her._

_But what could I do? Father had a violent temper, particularly regarding matters that directly involved him, and potential gains. Xiao's little mishap was far from the happy ending he had scripted for us, and it was only by luck that all went according to his plans and we were able to stay at the fine Wu Palace. Wouldn't seeing me trying to defend Xiao make him more angry? Would my actions bring more trouble for Xiao?_

_As I stood there silently debating to myself, I must have looked completely distressed because as I was leaving, the Lord Sun Ce came over to ask if something was troubling me. I didn't look as if I was feeling well, he said. I was surprised to say the very least! How could he see through me so easily? I hesitated, not wanting to let on much. A part of me did not want to burden him with my trivial problems, but for the most part, I shudder to think what he would think if he knew just how…imperfect my family was, and in particular, how cruel Father was. All I could tell him was that I was worried that my sister had skipped her morning meals._

_Perhaps it was because I was being openly untruthful to a Lord (for Xiao not eating was the least of my worries, to be honest), but I found that I had a hard time trying to form sentences in my mind while the Lord Sun Ce's eyes burned me with their intensity. My cheeks were definitely burning at the thought of how paranoid I must have sounded, completely flustered with worry because my sister had skipped a meal, when the Lord Sun Ce also had a younger sister as well, and he would definitely not have freaked out over the same matter. But not once did he laugh or ridiculed me for my paranoia. He nodded his head in thought and even offered to help me look for Xiao himself._

_I was completely beside myself with shock. The Lord Sun Ce was actually going to skip his morning training to help me find Xiao! _

"_Thank you very much, my lord. But I cannot monopolise your time for such a trivial matter. I will be fine looking on my own. Ling Mei and the other maids will assist me." I managed to whimper out, my knees sinking into the biggest curtsey of my life in shock. I think I almost knocked my head on the table as I went down as well. How embarrassing!_

_The Lord Sun Ce threw back his head and gave a causal laugh. "It's alright, Lady Da Qiao. Training has been postponed as the General Huang Gai has returned to us from the Kingdom of Shu."_

"_B-b-but but…" I stammered, biting my lip unconsciously, looking around. As if on cue, the swarm of court ladies that usually shadowed the Lord Sun Ce started shooting me dark looks._

"_Plus, it is best if I helped," he hurried on as I opened my mouth to refuse him again, "as the maids simply love to gossip, and your sister's absence may cause her unnecessary attentions. Moreover, it is my responsibility as your host to see to your every need."_

_He gave me a look of understanding, his warm smile back on his face. After a moment's silence passed as I tried to process the last little bit of rational thought in my mind, I nodded my head numbly in return, unable to think of another reason to decline his invitation._

"_I-in that case, I thank you, my lord."_

_He gave a small chuckle, resting his hand casually on my shoulder, making my cheeks warm involuntarily. "No need for all the formalities, Lady Da Qiao. When it just the two of us, feel free to call me Ce."_

"_My lord!" I gasped, stumbling back into a curtsey. I have always known that the Lord Sun Ce was a very approachable member of the royal family but omitting honorifics? That was too much against the grain for me!_

_He gave a laugh at my horrified look and pointed towards the gardens. "Alright, Lady Da Qiao. Let's look for your sister." _

_It was the first time that I had ever spoken to a man and had enjoyed every second of it. My cheeks were sore by the end of the day from being so tense and smiling so much! As we walked down the garden path, I was amazed by how carefree he was (he was definitely one who was used to being with women, I presume), and in contrast, how nervous I was around him. We talked about everything – what home was like for me, my favourite past time, my favourite dishes. I have never had such a pleasant conversation! All the conversations with my previous suitors were all one way – they did all the talking and I just had to occasionally reply with "that was impressive, my lord" or just smile and nod. _

_But with the Lord Sun Ce it felt like the words would just come out of my mouth. I realised that my life must have sounded so unimportant, so insignificant, in comparison to what he was used to seeing. But the Lord Sun Ce smiled brightly like a child reading an interesting picture book, his warm smile encouraging me to continue. _

"…_and then I decided to scare Xiao by hiding in the wardrobe but somehow or rather, the lock broke, and I was stuck there for ages. I had to call out to Xiao for help!" I giggled, reliving one of the most amusing childhood memories I had, while wondering what on earth had prompted me to divulge this particular flash back to the Lord Sun Ce._

_The Lord Sun Ce gave a laugh, and it sounded so natural, it suited him so well._

"_I'll bet __**that**__ scared her. Did she wonder why the wardrobe was suddenly talking to her?" He choked out, cradling his stomach._

_An unfamiliar sound escaped my lips._

_Laughter?_

_I had laughed. Out loud. In public. In front of the Lord Sun Ce. _

"_Excuse me, my lord." I mumbled, hiding my mouth._

"_Don't." He murmured, fitting his hand over mine. "Don't hide it. Your laugh, it suits you."_

_A moment of silence passed, and my cheeks rapidly rose in temperature. The Lord Sun Ce gave a small cough, turning around, his ears beet red._

"_Ahem. Alright, we have ascertained that your sister is not in the gardens, but just to be certain, shall we look again?" His tone was half joking but half hopeful._

"_I…"_

_I had almost said yes. I had almost forgotten the reason we were walking through the gardens together. I had almost forgotten that we were looking for Xiao, and that every second I spent here, Xiao was being punished by my father. But a very small and selfish part of me almost wished that we would keep looking so I could prolong this moment that we had shared together._

"_I thank you, my lord, but I think my sister is with my father. I shall check his chambers. I have monopolised enough of your time." I murmured, surprised by how reluctant I sounded._

_The Lord Sun Ce seemed unfazed. "The west wing is still a ways to go from here and on route to the training arena where I'm holding a training session. What say we walk together?" He asked, and I couldn't help but smile. I could have sworn that the training arena was in the opposite direction! _

"_If my lord does not mind the company." _

_I smiled as we walked along the path again, laughing at more of my childhood stories. But the perfect moment was cut too short too soon. Xiao rounded the corner, her face as pale as ash._

**Xiao Qiao's Perspective**

_With every step I took away from the man in red, the suffocating feeling of guilt and remorse sang louder. Turning the corner at full speed, I gasped as I collided with someone, my face planted into his strong chest. Through the pounding of my heart, I slowly lifted my head, my mind ordering my eyes to focus. _

_Unruly brown hair tamed under the royal headdress. A warm smile like sunshine. The cheerful goatee that complemented his smile._

_It was the Lord Sun Ce. The heir to the Wu Kingdom._

_I gasped, stumbling backwards and tripping over the long fabric of my dress. He reached forward and steadied me, an amused smile on his face. My sister emerged from behind him, a delicate blush on her face._

"_Xiao, we've been looking everywhere for you! We missed you at breakfast and the Lord Sun Ce…" Seeing the distress in my eyes, she was lost for words. She quickly marched around him, taking my hand._

"_My apologies, my lord. I do not think my sister is feeling very well. I will take her back to our chambers."_

"_Um, okay Da…I mean, Lady Da Qiao. Would you like me to accompany you?" He asked wistfully, his eyes very reluctant to let her go._

_She spared half a smile. "You are very kind, my lord, but I cannot trouble you more than I already have." _

_She swept into a brief curtsey then wrapped both her arms protectively around me, leading me to our rooms. Ushering me in, she quickly closed both the doors and asked our maid, Ling Mei, to bring me something to eat, securing our privacy._

"_What is the matter, dear sister? Your face is as pale as ash. Did Father summon you to his chambers? Why didn't you tell me? Did he hurt you?" She quickly ripped off the silk shawl off my shoulders, exposing my arms; the dried blood staining them with a deep wine. She swallowed slowly, taking out a small glass vial from her pocket, dabbing her handkerchief with the liquid. She even carried medicine with her now. Da is truly the only person I could count on in this world._

"_Now Xiao, this might a sting a little but I need to clean your wounds before they become infected…" she cooed, gently massaging the cuts on my arm with her handkerchief. Da's presence and her reassuring smile helped slow my erratically beating heart, but it could not numb the fear and guilt inside me. Seeing my bizarre expression, she stopped, panic developing on her composed features. She lightly touched my contracted brows, smoothing the crinkles with the tip of her fingers._

"_Xiao, is something wrong? Did something happen?"_

_I swallowed, not wanting to burden my sister with my mistake, but longing to hear her soothing words._

"_Oh, Da…I've done something inexcusable…it was an accident, I don't know what got over me…I…I think he is hurt…" _

_Immediately, tears flooded my face as words rushed out of my mouth. Da held on to my hand tightly as I explained to her my very eventful morning. When I had told her that I had attacked the unknown Wu officer, she gasped and enclosed me within her arms. Afterwards, my mind was strangely relaxed as I listened to Da's soft heartbeat, her fingers peacefully threading through my hair. I felt so safe in her arms, forgetting the severity of my crime which is punishable by death. Death was bearable with Da by my side._

"_Xiao, thank you for sharing with me your concerns. Please do not feel that you have to face this alone, you have me. You are my dear little sister; I will do all I can to help. Remember what the admirable Lord Liu Bei and his two sworn brothers had vowed? That even though they were not born on the same day, of the same month, of the same year; it was enough knowing that they could embrace death on the same day, of the same month and of the same year. I feel the same way about you Xiao."_

_Hearing her words troubled me. I did not like this talk of her death. I cannot let my sister share my sentence. I cannot let her die because of me._

"_Da…" I began, a fresh wave of tears following, drowning out my voice._

"_Shh…" She cooed, placing her finger delicately on my lips. "Xiao, it's alright. First thing is first, though. Let us talk to Lord Sun Ce before we do anything, maybe he can help us."_

_My eyes widened in fear. The son of the mighty Tiger of Jiang Dong. The Heir to the throne – synonymous with 'authority' in the palace. Wasn't seeing him equivalent to my death warrant? Feeling my body tense up, she pulled back, a comforting smile on her lips._

"_Lord Sun Ce is very…benevolent. I am sure he will hear us out." She said promisingly, the faint blush colouring her cheeks again. _

_I nodded, trusting her confidence as she took my hand, leading me out of the refuge that was our room. We had barely made it out onto the courtyard when a figure blocked our way, filling my body with dread. _

_Father._

"_Da Qiao, Xiao Qiao, the Lord Sun Jian requests your presence immediately."_

_Oh no._

_The emperor of the Kingdom himself! News does spread fast in the palace! My knees buckled and Da quickly tucked my limp body behind hers, refusing to let me move one step. _

"_Father, did the Lord Sun Jian happen to mention the reason for such urgency?" _

_My father's eyes narrowed, Da's rebellion annoying him. "Not that it concerns you, Da Qiao. Go now." He turned and walked away briskly._

"_Yes Father." She bowed slightly, following him, gentling pulling the unresponsive me in tow. _

_As we marched down the corridor, my eyes unseeing, my heart pounding painfully against my chest, Da rubbed her warm hands against my cold ones. "We'll be alright Xiao," she mouthed, conscious of Father who was a couple of steps in front but no doubt listening in to every movement behind him._

_In no time at all we reached the richly decorated hall that lead to the Lord Sun Jian's presence chamber. I looked around, expecting to see the imperial guards who would take me away after my verdict. I could see it all in my mind. The room would be full of members of the Lord Sun Jian's council, and the Lord Sun Jian himself would sit on his throne, in the middle of the room. The Officer in red would walk in, see my face and yell: "that's her, the girl that attacked me." The guards would close in on me, their swords out, ready to fight off my feeble resistance. Father would quickly sever all ties with me, his cold eyes ignoring my pleas as he turns to abandon me once more. Da, however, would remain close by my side. I am sure that she would even plea to the Officer in red and the Lord Sun Jian. She may even ask to share my burden, unwilling to let me travel to the Underworld by myself._

_I must find a way to prevent Da from getting involved; she must not end her life because of me. _

_But the hall was strangely empty. One of the servants announced our arrival, and we were lead into the luxurious room, where my judgement awaits._

_Father bowed at the sight of the Lords, his nose almost touching the ground. Da dropped into a graceful curtsey, pulling on my arm. In my fearful state, I had almost forgotten my manners. I sunk into my knees immediately, too anxious to look up._

_Lord Sun Jian sat on his throne. To his right sat the Lord Sun Ce, who smiled brightly at Da, who blushed in return. On his left was the biggest and most frightening man I have ever seen in my life. His toned muscles were visible the under little vest he wore, his weathered skin was coarse and in the colour of faded mahogany. I could see the handle of a great big club, which I presumed was his weapon of choice. _

_Oh no, it was my executioner. And it looked like I was heading for death by beating. Just my luck!_

_My eyes darted back down again as I silently swallowed my whimper. The Lord Sun Jian signalled for us to rise, smiling apologetically at us as Da helped me up, my whole body trembling with fear._

"_Please do not be nervous Lady Xiao Qiao. I wanted to introduce to you all, my lifelong friend and ally, General Huang Gai. He has been absent from us for a while now, on a negotiation mission with the Lords of Shu so he missed the opportunity to introduce himself."_

_The big man nodded his head, his face breaking into a warm smile that lit up his black eyes. In strange contrast to his menacing appearance, the old man looked very…kind._

"_I am sorry for putting you through all the trouble, Ladies. I am Huang Gai. I have been with the Sun family for as long as I can remember, back from when the establishment of the Wu Kingdom was just a dream that Lord Sun Jian and I talked about in our youth. But that would be way before your time!" He gave a short laugh, his voice very coarse and matched his ragged appearances perfectly, but I could feel the warmth in his words._

_Lord Sun Jian gave a chuckle. "Now, now Huang Gai, I'm not that old yet!"_

_From the corner of my eye, I saw Father's eyes flash as he deliberated how to best take advantage of such opportunity. The Lord Sun Jian must think highly of this man, judging by how the two causally joked around. This must mean that the man, Huang Gai, could afford gold and privileges that could top Lord Cao Cao's offer. Or at the very least, raise it. Either way, it was a win-win situation for Father. _

_I shuddered. Although this man looked very kind, he looked as if he could be Father's, no my grandfather's age! It is incomprehensible, to think of holding hands with him, of kissing him, of... I swallowed hard, trying to stomach the nausea that crept up. Like an allergic reaction, I could feel the tightening of my throat, the sweat on my palm every time I thought of the technicalities of the relationship between a man and a woman. Whether it was to marry the big man in front of me, or the Lord Cao Cao, my life would be reduced to a nightmare. Nights would as unbearable as swallowing a thousand needles or walking through flames. I winced as the Lord Cao Cao's face crept back into my mind again, my hand flying up to tighten the robes around my chest instinctively, fearful of the Lord Cao Cao's wandering eyes and hands._

_My sister, unaware of the thoughts running through my head, bowed deeply, pre-empting the conversation before Father could make a move and sell our future. _

"_The pleasure is ours, General Huang Gai. My name is Da Qiao, and this is my younger sister, Xiao Qiao. It is an honour to be graced with your presence. I hope your trip had been pleasant. There are some wonderful sights between the two kingdoms: the spring time scenery on the hills of Chengdu and of course, the lotus ponds of Yi Ling are a beautiful sight also. Did you get the chance to have a look at them, I wonder?" _

_The General Huang Gai blinked, surprised by my sister's vast knowledge of the geography of the neighbouring Kingdom._

"_Yes, the trip was very pleasant; spring makes travelling somewhat bearable." He joked. "I take it that you have seen those lovely sights before?"_

"_Oh no, General Huang Gai." Da gave a graceful laugh. "I have merely read about them in my father's books and have longed to see whether the beautiful descriptions do the scenery justice."_

_Da was truly amazing wasn't she, able to subtly spur the conversation towards another topic like that. Her wit, her grace, everything about her was incomparable. I just hope her inherent charms would not be her undoing._

_The General Huang Gai chuckled, his eyes bright with admiration for my sister, his booming laugh resonating through the walls. _

"_Huang Gai will do, Da Qiao. Please do get up; I'm really not used to all the formalities. And do help your sister up; she looks dead on her feet."_

_As I stood up I felt the atmosphere relax. It would look like I have narrowly escaped death by beating. Hearing Da speak, Lord Sun Ce's dazed smile widened. _

"_Lady Da Qiao, Huang Gai helped raised and trained Quan, Shang Xiang, Zhou and myself. He is sort of like our godfather. He is remarkable on the battlefield and is actually surprisingly maternal as well, if you can believe it. We all secretly call him the Mother Goose!" He joked._

_The room erupted with Lord Sun Jian and the General Huang Gai's laughter. Having never had friends before (besides Da, of course), I could have not have imagined how 'forceful' the power of friendship could be. These men, with their wrinkled brows and battle scars, were genuinely happy at such trivial matters. In comparison to what they were used to seeing on the battlefield, these peaceful days were few and far between. Just the fact that they were both were alive and able to exchange stories was worth more than no amount of gold or jewels to them. Their laughter was so different to the low, slippery, seductive voices I was used to hearing from men. It was infectiously cheerful, the way the two old friends joked with each other, to the extent that I had forgotten my unease. I felt my face relax into a smile as my eyes darted eagerly between the Lord and his General, marvelling at how easily small things like social standing could be dismissed under their laughter. My respect for our hosts swelled like I never thought possible._

_Huang Gai gave another booming laugh. "Ah young master, I'm afraid I am somewhat disappointed to find that you are still awful with words. 'Mother Goose'? Surely you can come up with something better than that! You're just as lousy as your old man here. While you're here, there was something I wanted to ask you." He held up a piece of parchment and cleared his throat. "You call this romantic poetry? Ahem. 'Like the mice fleeing at the sight of the cat, the moon shies away from the sight of Lady Da Qiao's beauty.' What the heck does that mean?" _

_I stifled a chuckle, which I managed to hide as a cough. That was the lamest attempt of seduction I have ever heard. Practicality and romance should never mix. Who knew that Lord Sun Ce was so bad at writing anything that remotely resembled romance? Da was right, he __**was **__awkward! Speaking of Da…her face went ruby red as she determinedly tried to avoid eye contact with everyone. Lord Sun Ce looked flustered as his father jabbed him with his elbow playfully as he continued to ignore his godfather. _

"_You really ought to leave poetry to Zhou. The boy really has a way with words. Speaking of which, I haven't seen him at all. Are you working him too hard again, young master?" Huang Gai asked, looking around._

_A movement behind us caught our attention. A man with long straight hair entered, bowing._

"_My General Huang Gai, it is great to see you again. I hope your trip to the Shu Kingdom has been pleasant. My apologies for my tardiness, my Lords, Master Qiao Xuan, Ladies Da and Xiao Qiao." His eyes wandered and rested on mine and I was again, swept away by the swirls of the different shades of colours._

_It's him. The officer clad in red robes. The officer I had assaulted just a few moments ago. The officer who held my life in his hands._

_Subtly, I tugged at Da's sleeves. Seeing the distress in my eyes, she understood immediately. She shifted her weight slightly, so that she stood in front, her eyes alert. _

"_By the way my lords, I believe what Ce wanted to write was 'like the sun setting at the sight of the moon, the Lady Da Qiao's beauty makes the moon shy away in comparison'. Either he misread my writing or he took the liberty of editing what I had written for him." The officer in red added, as the room erupted into laughter once more, Lord Sun Ce joining in this time, sniggering "Well sorry for wanting to have a go at creating my own poetic expressions!"_

_The General Huang Gai stood up and crossed the room in three big strides, clapping the latecomer on the shoulders. "Zhou, there you are! I heard great things about you while I was gone, the whole Kingdom has been buzzing with your intellect. I heard that even Master Zhuge Liang has taken a particular interest."_

_Oh no. Damn my luck! Of all the people for me to attack, I had to hurt Lord Zhou Yu, the exalted young strategist of Wu, the sworn brother of Lord Sun Ce, adopted son of Lord Sun Jian. And now, I just found out that he is also the godson of this big man here. Great. Now I have upset four people that could take my head easier than taking candy from a child. Death by beating looks very promising again! My insides were like icy butterflies that threatened to fly out of my body. I swayed slightly; Da's fingers linking into mine, holding me still._

_The younger man bowed. "Thank you General Huang Gai, but you are the one who deserves my congratulations. I believe your mission was a complete success and that we should be expecting to see Shu ambassadors with their peace treaty in the near future."_

_The older man laughed dismissively and led the strategist towards his seat on his left hand side. Suddenly, Lord Sun Ce's sharp eyes honed in on the strategist. "Hey Zhou, what happened to your palm? Why is it bandaged up? Did you get hurt?"_

_My heart gave an erratic jump and I stepped forward, my head bowed, ready to admit to my crime. I was about to open my mouth when the Lord Zhou Yu shrugged casually, waving his bandaged hand impatiently. _

"_It's nothing, Ce. I was careless, that's all."_

_I gave an inaudible gasp, and stepped forward again, completely confused at the turn of events. But the Lord Zhou Yu subtly glanced towards my way, shaking his head. I backtracked immediately. _

"_Anyway, I wanted to discuss matters regarding Master Zhuge Liang of Shu, I fear that he is indeed a threat to our kingdom." He continued, determined to change the subject._

_The General Huang Gai stopped him, examining his bandaged hand with his beady eyes. "Zhou, do not underestimate a small cut. Make sure you clean it properly to prevent infections okay? But seriously. You, being careless?" He asked incredulously; his kind, wizened eyes searching the strategist's, sensing his reluctance on the topic. _

_My sister stepped forward, a dazzling smile on her lips, ready for another round of diversions and I heard the Lord Sun Ce's sharp intake of breath which spelt obvious desire. _

_How typical. How disgusting. _

_Men. They are truly wolves in clothing. _

_I closed my eyes, willing myself to let it go. He's not worth my attention, I reasoned._

"_General Huang Gai," Da began; her voice a tantalising melody, "for the Lord Sun Jian's birthday banquet, my sister and I performed a dance in celebration. There is, indeed, a cause for celebration today as your expedition had been successful. It would be our honour if you allowed us to present to you a dance as a token of our admiration." She twirled around, her fans out in an instant. Understanding her diversion, I silently whispered my appreciation and positioned myself next to her, ready. Never again will I allow her to be my human shield. I hated her putting herself out there for me._

_As the servants quickly readied the instruments and struck the first note of our song, I sneaked a glance towards Lord Zhou Yu. Despite all the reservations I had for him, I felt obliged to thank him for his mercy, when he had every right to demand my life if he so wished for it. My heart sank a little as I took in his bored posture, his chin resting on his uninjured hand, his eyes idly staring out of the window. I was a little taken back and hurt, the little ounce of gratitude I had for him vanished as quick as it had came. _

_Having men goggle over us was normal; this lukewarm reception is a first for me! _

_Surprisingly, I was a bit angry at this cold reception. Well, I think he should go get his eyes checked! I scowled internally, the 'graceful' twirls of my fans becoming unexpectedly aggressive. Not goggling over me was one thing; not goggling over Da was another matter entirely!_

"_Xiao…" _

_Da whispered as she changed our move set slightly, opening her fans fully, briefly hiding me from view as I recollected my thoughts. Forcing my forged smile on my lips, I began dancing again, suppressing my irritated thoughts. They could wait till later. I could damn the man into the fiery pits of hell in the safety and comfort of my bed chambers! _

_Suddenly, the Lord Zhou Yu turned around; his expression hidden as he silently watched our dance. I found that I could not look away, my artificial smile frozen on my lips. Our eyes met, and I was no longer aware of my surroundings. Da, Father, the Lords, the music all seem to fade away as his perplexed eyes scrutinised my face, a tinge of sorrow leaking from his veiled expression._

"_Xiao…Xiao…Xiao!"_

_Hazily, I heard Da's voice, growing urgent. _

_Our dance!_

_Panicking, my arms flailed around, my mind trying hard to recollect my scattered thoughts. My left fan suddenly collided with something soft. My heart skipped a beat. _

_It was Da's face._

_Da gasped, stumbling back, her fans fell to the floor, her hands at her mouth at once, blood leaking from between her fingers. The music stopped as the servants screamed and tripped over the instruments they were holding on to. A blur of red and gold flashed past me. Lord Sun Ce rushed to Da's side, his chair crashing down from behind him as he ran forward, prying Da's hands away from her face, his expression possessed. Da struggled, turning to hide her face from him, tears of humiliation trickling down her red cheeks. The Lord Sun Ce called for the medics, his hands on Da's shoulders the whole time, his eyes never leaving hers._

_As if I was the one hurt, I could suddenly feel nauseous. The Lord Sun Ce, he had his hands on Da. His hand looked so big compared to her frail shoulders, like he could break her if he was not careful!_

_Although I disliked having a man so close to me, I absolutely hated having someone touch my sister. It was clear to me now. This man, the Lord Sun Ce, had his sights set on Da. I thought about Father's oh-so-predictable reactions to such news. The Lord Sun Ce was the Heir to the throne; of course there will be no complications. The Lord Sun Ce would gain from the trade – he would claim ownership to one of the flowers of Suiyang, ownership of the most wonderful person in the whole world, my sister. Father would also gain from this. Whether from gold or name, I am sure the Sun Family was in a position to be able to grant Father both. The only victim from this arrangement would be my sister Da. The bride sold for the gains of men around her. _

_The thought of Father's greedy smile really lit the fuse. I will not allow him to profit from Da's misery. If my marriage could allow Da to live the rest of her life in luxury, then that is a sacrifice I was willing to take. But the reverse was out of the line. Da must not be the one we sacrifice._

_I thought about the hair pin that was no longer tucked into my hair and scowled. Well, this fan has proven itself harmful...maybe I could get a few swipes at him while he is distracted? If I hurt the Lord Sun Ce, then Father would have no choice but to give up on this marriage. After all, the Sun Family would not want anything to do with us if I had harmed their son. _

_Forgetting my previous worries and the trouble I had already caused, I plotted how I would deliver the most amount of pain to the vile creature that is touching my sister. Inching towards him, my fans out, my eyes calculating, I suddenly felt Da's fingers, damp with her blood, curl around mine._

"_Xiao... please don't. Not him, please." She whispered, and the rest of her sentence drowned out by the scarlet torrent dripping down her lip._

_The Lord Sun Ce, totally unaware that a threat to his life had flashed in front of him, looked as if he was seared by flames, his eyes in pain as his sleeve quickly wiping the scarlet droplets rolling down her chin. _

_I was stunned. Da… this was the first time she acted like this. I have never seen her beg anything of me. Did she…did she have feelings for the Lord Sun Ce? _

_There was a conflict right here. What should I do? If Da has feelings for the Lord Sun Ce, then wouldn't I cause her more pain her by harming the Lord Sun Ce? _

_But does she really know what she was getting herself into? Did she know what is really on the Lord Sun Ce's mind? I quickly reasoned with myself. If I had to name one of Da's flaws, it would be that she is too trusting, too eager to see the good in people. Surely, she can see the obvious look of lust in his eyes? Moreover, this was the perfect opportunity to attack Father right where it hurts the most. This was the perfect moment to deny him the once in a life time opportunity – his shot to riches and stardom. Just his look of utter disappointment is definitely worth the beating that would surely follow. I would be a fool to give up such opportunity. _

_As the Lord Sun Ce shifted closer I felt my survival instincts take over, my heart set on my gamble, my hand inching to thrust my fan towards his vital points. I felt Da's hand increase pressure on mine, the familiar touch snapping me out of my agitation. _

"_Please..." Da repeated._

_Seeing my sister's teary face was truly the wakeup call I needed. I could not believe the thoughts that raced through my mind. Would it truly be a beneficial trade? Am I prepared to inflict the most amount of pain I could on my beloved sister? Am I strong enough to take away her object of affection?_

_Am I strong enough, spiteful enough, evil enough, to sacrifice Da?_

_My only sister._

_My precious Da._

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**Ame-chan **did you like the little present I left you in the middle of the chapter? Did you pick it up I wonder? :P


	13. Lies, Excuses and Unanswered Questions

My oh my Yuu has reached the first year anniversary with this fic! Many thanks to everyone who has read my fic, and especially those who have left a review! I am very touched~~

Thank you to **Branch, Yue **and **Ame** for your wonderful reviews!

Also, to celebrate my 1 year milestone, I have planned something special. Unfortunately it's not quite finished but watch this space~~

**Disclaimer: Don't own it. **

* * *

**Lies, Excuses and Unanswered Questions**

**Xiao Qiao's Perspective **

_To harm Father's future is like swinging my hand to slap Father's greedy, despicable face – justice at last. To watch as our family fall from grace is like a child running through a sweets stall, unsupervised – full of secretive, forbidden, vindictive pleasure. To know that I was the one that had single handily caused him the most pain in the world – absolutely priceless. It would worth every lash he delivers with his cane, every spiteful words from his lips. However, to hurt the Lord Sun Ce, the heir to the throne of the Wu Kingdom is definitely a death sentence, one that could cost my sister, Da's life as well._

_Moreover, it is a move that could cost her her well deserved happiness._

_Was I prepared to inflict the most amount of pain I could on my beloved sister? Am I strong enough to take away her object of affection?_

_I…_

_If I was strong enough to do so, then I am a truly vile creature, indeed._

_The opportunity to strike the Lord Sun Ce came and went. Regret washed over me as I thought back to my eagerness to shame my father. I cannot believe that my sister's happiness was a sacrifice I was willing to make. _

_The distant roar like rolling thunder told me that Father was yelling at me, again. It was so repetitive; I don't even take note of it anymore. I shoved it to the back of my mind, letting it buzz in the background. As he stomped his way towards me I braced myself for the hurt that I deserved. I wanted nothing more than for him to hit me, the way I had just hurt Da, the way I wanted to hurt Da. Seeing Father raise his hand, Da struggled to speak, her blood spluttering down her pale dress, pleading with him for me, again. She really shouldn't. I had thought about taking away her future just a few moments ago. I closed my eyes as I braced for the impact, the swishing noise from his hand was almost comforting._

_Three,_

_Two,_

_One,_

_After a few seconds, I opened one of my eyes, confused. Where was my father's fist? _

_It felt as if the air around me had melted, and I could feel a numbing sense of comfort. Shielded behind his tall form, the Lord Zhou Yu was now standing in front of me, Father's hand in his palm. He glowered at my father, loathe evident in his cold reply. _

"_With all due respect Master Qiao Xuan, but I fail to see how hurting one daughter remedies the other's injuries."_

"_L-lord Zhou Yu, I…I…" _

_My father spluttered, noiselessly voicing his disgruntlement and surprise, having never being at the receiving end of such contempt before. The sound of his teeth grinding together was painfully audible as he sank low into a bow and shuffled to the side, his eyes shooting daggers at the strategist._

_I looked down. Lord Zhou Yu's bandage was scarlet. He had stopped Father with his injured hand. He was hurt, and it was again my fault. Unthinkingly, both my hands cradled his as I tried to make sense of it all. I was the cause of this red line that now ran through his palm. I had intentionally harmed him when he tried to help me. I was also the reason for his injury becoming worse. I was vaguely aware that he was a man, and that I was standing closer than what I normally would have. His hand twitched in my hold. He gave a curt cough and pulled his hand back._

"_There is nothing to worry about, Lady Xiao Qiao." He whispered, his voice void of any emotion. Not even allowing me time to respond, he bowed to the Lord Sun Jian and the General Huang Gai. "My lord, I have more matters to attend to, if you'll excuse me." _

_Then he marched out of the room, without another glance in my direction, as remorse and confusion carried me away._

_Later that night, it was needless to say that Father was furious; he threatened to send me back home to Suiyang before I could do anymore damage. I had a grim feeling that I would be married off before I even stepped out of the carriage. Da managed to clean up the mess I created, again. She convinced Father that I should be given a chance to redeem myself, and they agreed that to apologise to the Lord Sun Jian and the General Huang Gai, I would compose and perform a song for the General Huang Gai's welcome banquet the palace was holding in the next few days. Da had always praised my skills with the zither, which was only a reflection of her great teachings._

_Lord Sun Ce insisted on accompanying Da back to her room, despite her fruitless pleads, and had also insisted to put the ointment on her face for her. Feeling as if I owed him something, I did not say a word as I made room for him on Da's bedside, shifting sideways so he could sit on the edge of Da's bed, where I usually sat. For a warlord, I never knew he could be so…gentle. He sat by her bed side, his face contorted in pain as if he was the one injured as Da winced when the ointment stung at her open wound. Was that lust in his eyes? Or would it be more appropriate to call it a tender adoration? I wasn't sure so I lingered beside him, wanting to help, to redeem myself. _

"_Da…I…I'm so sorry." I sniffed, wiping my face before my tears would leak out._

_Da smiled her reassuring smile. Even with her lips torn and the dried blood sticking onto her skin, she was still beautiful._

"_It is alright, Xiao. I was also to blame, I wasn't looking." _

_Slowly, she turned towards the Lord Sun Ce for the first time tonight, and immediately, her face bloomed into a warm shade of scarlet._

"_L-L-Lord Sun Ce, thank you. I-I-I-I am f-fine." _

_This was the first time I've ever seen Da so lost for words, and I could tell she was equally surprised as I was. Like pearls falling from a broken string, Da's tears rolled steadily down her cheeks as she turned away from him, not wishing for him to see her weakness. He gently cradled her face, his face blossoming into a loving smile that warmed my cheeks instantaneously. I did not know that lust could feel so sincere, so warm, so…gratifying. Sensing my cue to leave, I turned as he lent forward, his lips lightly resting on her forehead._

"_My lord…"_

_Against my better judgement, intuition was telling me that something wonderful was going to happen to Da, and I willed myself to keep walking. I heard my sister gasp as I closed the door quietly behind me, my heart pounding in my chest. This was the biggest dilemma I have yet to face. Da's happiness was on the line here. I wonder what path will lead her to the happiness she so deserved? Was the Lord Sun Ce really able to give her that happiness?_

_And where would that leave me, once Da was no longer my companion, my saviour?_

_My fingers threaded themselves together in front of my chest as I looked up at the moon. It was a full moon tonight, the moon's grace reminded me of Da. No one deserved love more than she did; no one deserved to escape fate more than she did. Please, Lords of the Skies, please grant my sister this one wish. I would do anything, even if it is to allow my Father to profit, to allow him to take away the most important person in my life – my sister. Da has never fallen in love before; please let this be her happy ending. _

_As I looked up at the dark abyss, the Lord Sun Ce's tender gazes like a disease that infested my thoughts, my mind started to wonder mindlessly._

_The officer dressed in red. The Lord Zhou Yu._

_Was he my silent saviour, or will he become my undoing?_

**...**

**Zhou Yu's Perspective**

_I remember after our second 'chance meeting' that did not go down very well, I remained crouched on the floor, utterly bewildered as she fled from me. _

_The girl, the Lady Xiao Qiao, truly was very intriguing, wasn't she?_

_I have never met someone so unpredictable, so interesting my whole life. I stared at the faint red line that ran through my palm. I cannot believe that I had allowed someone to hurt me. _

_With their hairpin, of all weapon. _

_A defenceless woman, with no prior training, to top it off. _

_What would Ce say if he heard? Well, first he would ridicule me enough for my ancestors to rise from their graves in disgust then he would proceed to re-train me in the training arena, saying that I must have thrown away all the training he had given me. But all joking aside, as my self-proclaimed 'older' brother (by only a few months), Ce would definitely demand to know who was reasonable, and beat the vermin into a pulp, as that was his favourite way to resolve anything._

_Somehow, I couldn't bring myself to even think about that. Although I know Ce would never hurt a woman, I did not want to take the risk that I might be wrong. Moreover, I still didn't think the Lady Xiao Qiao was in the wrong. I want to live in a world where self defence was allowed, that one had the right to say no. _

_Her sparkly, offending hairpin caught my eye. As I gently touched the warm metal, my heartbeat quickened. She was holding on to this not long ago, it was her warmth that lingered on the cold metal. I didn't know what was happening until I felt the edges of my mouth pull up slightly as I picked up the hairpin. I suddenly rejoiced at the thought that I could see her again. I wanted to learn more about her, to try and predict her actions, the girl that had managed to hurt me. She truly was an unpredictable mystery, a challenge almost. _

_My rational side promptly took over. That was poor manners, Zhou. I had to scold myself at my demeaning thoughts. She was a human being, and not a game. She was an innocent girl, and not someone whom I should strategise to defeat. Moreover, it would not do keep her belongings with me. I would not be a considerate host otherwise. This was only a reflection of my good upbringing, nothing else._

_The opportunity to see her again presented itself very quickly. I had barely put the dressing on my palm when a servant informed me that my other godfather, the General Huang Gai had returned and required my presence. _

_She was there as well. The room was noisy with my godfathers' laughter. Her hand was by her mouth, hiding a giggle. Her eyes, for once, shone with amusement. She continued to amaze me. I have to admit that her frown, although tainted with melancholy, suited her very well; it gave an edge to her beauty, brought a touch of foreboding to her otherwise young and innocent features. But I was not prepared for the sight in front of me. She was smiling, her features becoming even more captivating as the smile played on her lips. I stopped the servant from announcing my arrival, too intent to just look at her. _

_But as I walked in, at once, my presence drove her into fear, her body swaying. Her sister wordlessly moved in and shielded her from me. Seeing her distress, I felt a twinge of pain. I did not like being the reason for her discomfort. Rummaging through my brain thoroughly, I thought of ways to make her laugh. I can't even remember what I said. Ce, sensing my mood for humour seamlessly joined in but her expression did not hold a fraction of the joy they held before my arrival._

_When she got up for her dance, her fearful expression was replaced by the mask of the same disenchanted expression I saw the last time she danced, the false smile on her lips pierced into my heart. I felt as if the tides of bleakness had swept me away as it did her. Her grief was truly intoxicating. Our eyes met, and I found myself trying to decode her veiled eyes, struggling to comprehend how one's smile could have a thousand emotions, yet none of them pleasant._

_But of course. It was a lose-lose situation for her. She was dancing to win the hearts of men that she neither desired nor knew. She was dancing so that one day, one of her audiences would claim ownership over her, become her champion. Even if she dreaded the dance, dreaded the consequences, she also dreaded her father's reactions if she fails him. _

_This sorrowful serenade was not a tune that one should dance to. Ever._

_As her father raised his hand to hit her again, after she had accidentally hit her sister, I felt my legs move on their own. It didn't make sense to me. Why is it that she allowed him to hurt her like that? She did not hesitate once as she defended herself against me, why is it that against her own father she would allow herself to get hurt? Why is it that she would be so courageous one moment and then give up her retaliation so easily? _

_Unthinkingly, I held out my hand, stopping his fist from contacting with her pale pink cheek. The contact ripped open my wound, the once white bandage a bright red immediately. However, the stinging pain was nothing compared to the overwhelming sadness as I turned and saw her expression, strangely at peace, as she waited for her father's punishment._

_It was more than anticipation and acceptance. No, it was more than that. A crude sense of victory almost?_

_I just don't understand her._

_Afterwards, when she held my hand in both her own, her eyes wide with confusion as she stared at my stained bandage, I felt my skin tingle at her touch; my hand gave an involuntary twitch to touch her face, to wipe the tears away. _

_How strange. _

_I have never felt this way before. Of course I had been around women before, for Ce and I had ventured to the brothel on rare occasions, but we had never had any emotional attachments to those women. It was for pure enjoyment. Lust. So superficial, so very unsatisfying. One even may go so far to say it was 'duty' in a way, as all the Generals were going before our upcoming campaign. I would talk of it as casually as I would when I explain to Lu Xun about the characteristics of a battle formation. That's all there is to it. To be honest, Ce and I don't even recall the women's names, let alone their faces._

_But as I stared into her hazel eyes, her tears highlighting the conflicting control and concern, I found that for the first time, I was speechless. I could not speak the words of false comfort I have grown so accustomed in doing. I couldn't tell her that everything was going to be alright, that when the boat reaches the wharf it would straighten itself, that somehow, everything will work out fine. I couldn't lie to her. I couldn't let her suffer from my false words. All I wanted to do was to hold her tight, and that alone would be worth more than all the wasted nights spent with the unknown women. _

_She truly was a mystery. How does she have this effect on me? Why am I so intrigued by the many sides of her? Her lapse from her controlled appearances, her eyes wild as her survival instincts took over when she struck me with her hairpin. Her acceptance of her punishment. Perhaps she has lost the trust in men, in people. She has lost faith in life in general. _

_We shared a bizarre likeness in that perspective. I too felt that way, before I had met Ce that is. That must be the reason for my strange behaviour, my restlessness as she came into view. I see myself, the helpless me as the flames licked against my mother and the villagers before the bandits took their lives. _

_She and I could not be more alike. Ce saved me from despair and I cannot even begin to imagine what life would be like without him. But who does she have? Who can save her from all this misery, and from her own demons? Who can bring a victory to this losing battle?_

_That felt like a challenge. An impossible challenge that I felt an impulse to accept._

_I will._

_I was the Lord Zhou Yu. There has not been anything that I could not overcome. Every battle, every dilemma we had, I have always been able to overcome our problem, no matter what it is. I had confidence in myself – after all, I learnt from the best. _

_I willed myself to take my hand from her grasp, my mind protesting violently. Abruptly, I mumbled something to my Lords, my apologies I presume, and I steered myself away from her vicinity, concentrating on one step at a time._

_Later on that night, I surrounded myself with my books in the hopes of locking her sad smile out of my mind. I scratched my nose with the end of my brush. Even though I have decided that I will do all I can to win her battle for her, I still couldn't think of where I could start. And as if to mock me, her smile kept creeping back into my mind, flaunting my defeat._

_I decided to assess my situation again. Exactly what was a victory for her?_

_Freedom? _

_What was freedom for her? Life away from her Father? Life not as a consort, a gift, a trophy, but a human being? _

_I know there were only two alternatives to achieve that. A marriage, which did not constitute a victory in her eyes. Or exile, where she must give up her name, her place, and all ties with her family. Would life as a fugitive be a victory?_

_Her last option was the most saddening. The status quo – the life she was currently living. She will continue to attract attention, provoke desire just by breathing and living. She will continue to evade her destiny through silly deadly games with her Father. How much more could she take before her father decides that she was intolerable and replaceable? How far could the boundaries stretch before she overreaches herself, and her actions bring her the ultimate punishment – death? How much more pain will she endure before she finally surrenders her rights, her will and her life, and spiral towards her doom?_

_Not so long in my eyes._

_It was so frustrating! Why I was getting myself worked up for someone I barely knew?_

_If I win, then I could finally let go of this nagging distraction I had. I could finally go back to tranquillity. If I win, then I could feel as if my debt to Ce could be repaid, that I too had reached out and helped saved a life, instead of taking it away. _

_I've never had so much trouble with identifying and exploiting the enemies' weakness. Our soldiers were our resources. They were all numbers, dots on the map. Easily expendable. Easily replaceable. Of course, at times I would lose some of our men; they simply did not make it back from the battlefield. But I always hedged our losses. We had tradeoffs but we always came out on top. For the greater good – every move required a sacrifice, but it was worth it. _

_But this time it was different. I didn't want to risk anything. I couldn't risk anything, not when it concerned her. I wasn't going to have her sacrifice anything; I wasn't even going to consider it. But how would that work? How could I gain anything without losing something? Was it possible to have this win-win situation? Could I secure her victory without getting her to pay the price? The world just didn't work like that._

_And as if it wasn't already complicated enough, the worst thing is she doesn't even see me as an ally. I was a feared enemy to her!_

_I heard a faint tap on my door, scattering my mental protests. It must be Lu Xun, for Ce was most likely still with the Lady Da Qiao, after the Lady Xiao Qiao's little mishap. The boy is truly enthusiastic about his education. As I got to know him, I felt as if he was a younger brother, or a son in a way. Every day I grow eager to see how his wisdom would blossom in his future._

"_It's unlocked. No need for the formalities, come on in, Lu Xun."_

_Silence. But I distinctly heard the sound of shuffling fabric._

_That was strange._

"_Lu Xun, is something wrong?" I called, looking around my piles of books that obscured my vision._

_At first I saw shiny brown hair tied neatly into a pony tail. My heart started to race as a foreign eagerness took over my mind. The sweet scent of honey and jasmine was confirmation enough. It was her! I could not explain the sudden joy that came over me._

_She did not look up, her face slowly becoming scarlet._

_Wordlessly, she held out both her hands, a small bottle shaking on her palm._

_I blinked. The liquid in the small glass vial, which judging by its faint odour, was antiseptic for my hand._

"_T-thank you very much L-lord Zhou Yu, for everything that you have d-done for me today." She stammered, her ears reddening._

_My heart stopped a few beats. She was in my study, and she had…thanked me. I didn't know what to say. 'Thank you' was a term that I heard and used often, almost a mechanical reaction. But when she said it, the way she said it, it was such an endearing sight. I fought another wave of unfamiliar emotions that swept over me._

_As I reached for the vial, she jerked backwards, her body shrinking against my door, my quick fingers catching the bottle before it shattered onto the floor._

"_I-I wish you a p-pleasant evening, Lord Zhou Yu." _

_She turned to try to leave, but I caught her arm just in time. It all happened so quickly, like a reaction almost. As I interrogated the brain cell responsible for my irrational actions, I marvelled at the softness I held in my hands. Even if it was wrapped in layers of silk, her arm was so thin, so frail, like it would snap if I held her too tightly. Her eyes bulged, and I could see the alarm in her irises as her heart started beating erratically and loudly._

"_Do take care, my lady. Your future…it concerns me. Resistance is a double-edged-sword when you're fighting a losing battle. My experience shows that there are other alternatives to consider instead."_

_I prayed that she would understand my warning. Don't sacrifice yourself to scatter your father's plans for success. He is a relentless and ruthless man. Your sacrifice will surely be in vain._

_She gave a frightened whimper, and I quickly let go of her arm. As soon as she realised that I was no longer touching her, she stumbled out of my room, her dainty footsteps echoing into the night. _

_That didn't work out so well, did it?_

_I almost laughed out loud. It was wishful thinking to hope that she saw me as an ally; clearly she was still afraid of me. Still very afraid._

_I thought back to my words and almost hit my head in frustration as I heard what she could have heard in them. I really did not do myself any favours by what I said! She must have thought I was trying to blackmail her! If she didn't misunderstand my intent before, surely my words have just sent me backwards in my progress. _

_I sighed, wondering how all my communication skills flew out the window when she was close. I am willing to bet that she won't come within a foot of me now._

_I looked back at the glass vial in my hand, and her hairpin in which I have tucked into an interesting book as a bookmark. An unexpected smile crept onto my face. Absent-mindedly, I was only vaguely aware that I have smiled more today than I had growing up. _

_This must be the workings of fate. I now have two of her possessions. It would not do to keep them, I told myself again; my godfathers did not raise me to be a thief. I have no choice but to give them back to her. It cannot be helped, it is not as if I 'wanted' to see her, I cannot allow myself to purloin what is not rightfully mine. _

_But the thought of parting with her hairpin left an unexpected bitter taste in my mouth. I have enjoyed looking at it as I attempted to read my godfather's report. But life is indeed full of tradeoffs. Yes, I will lose this connection to her, but in return, I could see her. Twice. If I spread it out. And the more times I see her, the higher the chance of the achievement of my mission. That must be it._

_My self-justifying rationales sounded weak even in my mind and I found that I was more concerned about one thing: how I could make her smile the next time I see her. _

_**...**_

_**Da Qiao's Perspective**_

_I could not believe it. Yesterday, I had…my first kiss._

_I touched my lips with my finger tips, remembering how soft his lips were as they gently brushed across mine, careful not to upset the wound._

_The Lord Sun Ce._

_Or, can I really call him Ce?_

_I sat up on my bed, leaning my head against my knees, feeling as if my sense of judgement was up in the clouds. I must be in a dream. There was just no way that my life could change so dramatically in the space of a week. The dream I had in my mind: the Lord Sun Ce's hands gently cradling my face as his lips slowly made a trial from my forehead and then softly down to my lips, was just so perfect, so surreal that even a miracle could not have made it reality._

_I gave an indulgent sigh. However wonderful it was, it was, nevertheless, only a dream._

_Getting out of bed, I was plaiting my hair as my door creaked open and Xiao walked in, her face sombre._

_Last night, Xiao had decided to visit the Lord Zhou Yu to give him some ointment for his palm. That really surprised me. Xiao has never willingly wanted to be in the presence of a man before. Especially, alone. But something must have happened because she came back terrified, shaking from head to toe. But at least she came back empty handed, which must mean that she had delivered to him the ointment._

_The Lord Zhou Yu._

_I do not understand the man. To be honest, I hardly see him in the dining chambers, for the Lord Sun Ce had said that he prefers to dine his study if he does eat at all as he usually had a one tracked mind when it came to his work. The Lord Sun Ce speaks of him with a glowing sense of pride and admiration._

"_Zhou Yu is my most trusted advisor and confidant." I recall him saying as he introduced us to his council. "We grew up together, and even though I am still technically his 'Lord', I'd like to think myself as more of his older brother, though he'd probably question my maturity." _

_I remember giving the man in the red robes a polite smile which he nodded his head in acknowledgement. I remember that his features were very beautiful, which Princess Shang Xiang was quick to point out that he was nicknamed 'the Beautiful Warrior, Zhou' (much to his dismay) and that he was very aloof. But I remembered him for another reason._

_The Lord Zhou Yu, the Lord Sun Ce's best friend. His sworn brother. _

_The person closest to the Lord Sun Ce._

_But still. Just what did he want with Xiao?_

_He had not spoken of his mishap with Xiao and clearly did not want to involve his godfathers in the incident, as he tried to steer away from this subject matter when we were introduced to the General Huang Gai. He had also not told the Lord Sun Ce about how he had gotten his injury, and although I was deeply thankful for what he had done, I was unsure of his motives. Perhaps he had meant this to be a favour that we were to repay on a later date? But how could Xiao and I possibly repay him? He had riches at his disposal, surely there cannot be anything that Xiao and I could give him that he cannot get himself. _

_But then I realised something. There was something that Xiao and I could offer him._

_Our selves._

_I shuddered, not wanting to spoil my day already. Knocking Xiao's door, I quietly let myself in when I heard her answering call._

"_Good morning Xiao." I smiled, trying to distract myself from the horrifying thought of being at someone's mercy. Xiao returned the smile, albeit feebly, identical concern shining in her eyes. _

"_Are you just about ready to go and have our morning meal? Would you like me to comb your hair first?" I cleared my throat, trying to dispel the gloomy atmosphere between us._

"_Da…is it alright if I skip it this morning? I…uh…I'm not feeling very well."_

_An obvious lie._

_I nodded my head in understanding. Xiao and I feared the same thing – what the Lord Zhou Yu might do today. It was as if we were precariously balanced on a rickety bridge over facing a steep cliff, our futures could tip one way or another, into equally unbearable alternatives._

"_That is fine, dear sister." I gently stroked her cheek, wishing that I could take away everything that was causing her grief. "I will come back as soon as I can."_

_After carefully shutting the door behind me, I gathered up all my courage to face whatever the Heavens had in store for us today. Walking out of our chambers alone, I felt a little strange at the quietness of my footsteps. I had grown so accustomed to hearing Xiao's dainty steps, echoing mine everywhere I went._

"_Good morning Da!"_

_Princess Shang Xiang skipped down the corridor, her cheery voice complementing her lively mood. I have taken quite a liking to the Princess Shang Xiang. I have to admit that the first time I saw her, the princess of the Wu Kingdom known more commonly by her attire and temper, I was surprised at how the true the rumours were. She really was a princess in boy's clothing. The way she talked and the way she acted, I can tell that growing up, she was under her brothers' influence, one of the boys. But under her short tresses and boyish clothes, I saw raw beauty. Not beauty like Xiao's – refined, directed, artificial in a way, as we are always dressed in a way that spelt desirable (to our suitors at least), Shang Xiang had beautiful emerald green eyes and very defined features. She smiled often and laughed as much as she talked. Her ideas of 'fun' still frighten me out of my wits (although Xiao seems to speak her language) and I vowed to keep an eye on the pair as they joke about what strange things they should make the Master Ling Tong do as he often follows the two around like a love sick puppy. She was my first friend that I had besides Xiao, and in many ways, she reminded me of Xiao, which made me like her more. _

_A friend she may be but a princess she still was. I sank into a small curtsey, my knees barely touching the ground when Shang Xiang pulled me up quickly._

"_None of that." She scolded, her eyes narrowing but her mouth was set to a bright smile. "Come on, Da. I've told you. I hate it when people fuss over etiquettes with me. It is such a waste of time! All it does is make your joints sore!"_

_I had to smile at that comment. Xiao had said the same thing to me just last week._

"_Hmm, where's Xiao?" She looked around, surprised by the absence of Xiao. Xiao was usually my little shadow, it was rare indeed that we would be separated. Not wanting to draw attention on to Xiao, I gave a small smile and gestured towards the dining chambers._

"_My sister is not feeling very well. She will join us later."_

_Shang Xiang gave a small laugh at the obvious look of worry I wore and I looked down, my cheeks warming. There I go again, the paranoid older sister turned mother. _

"_Don't worry, I understand. I have similar 'sibling issues' as well. Well, quite the opposite actually." Shang Xiang giggled, nodding her head towards the hallway._

"_What on earth are you talking about, dear little sister?" Lord Sun Ce cleared his throat and rounded the corner, a very sheepish smile on his face._

_Shang Xiang rolled her eyes. "Since when do I need you to escort me to the dining chambers, Ce?"_

_I sank back into a curtsey, my head unable to look up at the cheerful Lord who had his gaze on me again, just as he did last night. _

"_Good morning, Lord Sun Ce." I mumbled, thinking that he would need bat like hearing to hear my pathetic greeting._

_The Lord Sun Ce quickly pulled me up. "Hey, I thought we were beyond that, Da Qiao." He whispered in my ear._

_My cheeks warmed immediately. He heard. And he had called me 'Da Qiao' – not the Lady Da Qiao._

"_How are you feeling this morning? Let me have a look at your lip."_

_I stumbled back a few steps, all of a sudden lightheaded from our closeness._

"_I'm fine, thank you, my Lord." I whispered, looking away. "The wound has all but healed."_

"_Yeah and did that heal quick or what? Xiao was in hysterics when she told me what she had done yesterday, although I admit that I had a hard time trying to decipher her sobs and sniffs." Shang Xiang laughed, giving the Lord Sun Ce a sly glance. "I didn't know that you were good at playing nurse, Ce. That is so unlike you!"_

"_Hey Shang," he called, his cheeks turning a bit red. Turning around to face his little sister, I internally cheered that his hands were still on my arm. "I heard that Zhou is joining us for breakfast this morning. You better hurry to the dining chambers or he will take your seat next to Lu Xun. Don't come moaning to me that Lu Xun isn't paying any attention to you then."_

_Shang Xiang stuck her tongue out at her older brother. "Nice try, Ce. I know that you only said that because you want to be alone with Da!"_

_Even so, she glanced towards the dining chamber, quickening her pace. _

"_Come on, Da. This way."_

_Feeling very reluctant, I felt the Lord Sun Ce's hand slip from my arm as I widened my strides to match Shang Xiang's._

"_Lady Da Qiao, these paths are fairly uneven. Please watch your step." The Lord Sun Ce called, causing Shang Xiang to let out a giggle. We were walking along the neatly paved stone tiles, after all._

"_You know, Ce, if you want to hold Da's hand, all you have to do is ask." She chuckled as she danced back and gave him a small nudge in the back._

"_Princess Shang Xiang!" I gasped. Sinking into a small curtsey in front of my lord, I made sure my head was bowed low so I could not catch his expression. "Please don't take heart in what the Princess Shang Xiang is joking about, my lord…" I mumbled, feeling so embarrassed._

_Surprising me, the Lord Sun Ce held out his hand, his smile warm and inviting. "May I have the honour, my Lady?" He breathed, his tone unusually serious._

"_I…I…" _

_I was lost for words. _

_What should I do?_

"_Of course you can!" Shang Xiang called, giving me a great big push from behind, and I fell into the Lord Sun Ce's arms, my face beet red._

"_You can thank me later, Ce!" She called in a sing-song voice, disappearing down the corridor._

"_Sorry, Da Qiao. Shang Xiang can get quite rough sometimes, she's not very used to being around someone so delicate, she tends to forget." He murmured, and I could feel his hands on the small of my back. _

"_No, I'm fine, you needn't worry…Ce."_

_I heard a sharp intake of breath, his arms tightening around me._

"_W-what did you say, Da Qiao?"_

_I chewed on my lip, wondering how I had let his name slip out without honorific._

"_I am sorry, my Lord. I was not thinking."_

"_No, Da. That was not what I meant." He added quickly, his hands scratching his head, his eyes avoiding mine. "C-could you please call my name again?"_

"…_Lord Sun C-Ce." I could feel the ground underneath dissolve as I spoke his name. Surely this must be all in my mind?_

"_Close enough…"_

_His lips curved back into his cheeky smile as he leant closer towards me, his lips just inches apart from mine…_

"_Hey! Are you guys coming?"_

_Shang Xiang's loud voice called, and we both gave a jolt of surprise._

_Clearing his throat, the Lord Sun Ce pulled me gently towards the dining chambers, a smile on his face._

"_Shall we, Da?"_

_I had to smile at that. I had become Da to him. Not the Lady Da Qiao, the worthy prize for a champion who dared to pick the flower of Suiyang. Not Da Qiao, the oldest daughter in the house of Qiao. Just Da. No man had called me that before. No one had ever spoken my name with such…affection before._

"_My pleasure…Ce." I whispered quietly, grateful that he did not hear me. _

_Entering the dining chamber, I was starting to get used to the dozens of pairs of eyes that would look my way every time Xiao and I walked anywhere. But this morning, there was one penetrating gaze who caught my attention immediately._

_Deep and dark, like the midnight sky._

_The Lord Zhou Yu._

* * *

Thank you for reading to the end everyone. I know the pace of the story is a bit slow right now, but I promise more will happen in the future. The foundation of the fic is also very very essential :):)

As always, I would be delighted if you left a review :)


	14. The Endless Serenade of a Broken Soul

_**Many thanks to everyone that reviewed the previous chapter. I'm sorry that I have not had the chance to properly respond to them, and have forgotten whether I have or not…So this chapter is for you (*sheepish grin*)!**_

_**Disclaimer: Don't own.**_

* * *

_**The Endless Serenade of a Broken Soul**_

**Zhou Yu's Perspective**

_I was oddly restless the whole day; the morning meeting with the Generals seemed to drag on and on and I found that I had read and reread the same sentence three times of Lu Xun's essay, each time finding a entirely new meaning that is not at all relevant to the stated topic. I must be slowly losing my mind. Now, the day didn't begin on such a sour note. In fact, I had had a feeling that today was going to be a good day. _

_In the morning, the birds chirped cheerfully outside my window. Slowly, my mind awoke, readying my body to resume its age long routine. My eyes flickered open. Judging from the brightness of the room, it was a typical spring day. Since my godfather Huang Gai has returned, the most of the morning will be spent training, as he would lecture us on how the Shu warriors fought. I quite look forward to it. My godfather's insights are generally very valuable, and it would be a good opportunity to assess our rivals, even though we are under the pretence of peace._

_Giving an involuntary sigh, I rolled over, ready to heave myself off the bed when something sharp stabbed at my face._

_I blinked. It was a lady's hairpin; the dark blue jewels gleaming slightly in the rays of sunlight that shone through the gaps of the window. The Lady Xiao Qiao's hairpin, to be exact. My heart softened at once, unfamiliar warmth growing on my cheeks._

_How on earth did that get on my pillow? I didn't go to sleep holding on to it, did I? Shaking my head in disbelief, I picked up the hairpin, marvelling at the rainbow of colours as the sunlight hit the jewel at different angles. _

_Really, I should be angry at this hairpin – the hairpin that struck and drew blood. But I found that I couldn't. Stopping myself before I started smiling compulsively again, I tried to reason with myself for my abnormal and indeed, worrying behaviour. _

_Well, forget and forgive, Zhou. Ce had to put up with a lot when we first met (he once called me a plank of wood after I had ignored him for seven days straight); it's only fair that I showed her the same sympathy. After all, a broken past cannot be easily mended, but once you have shown her the light at the end of the tunnel, she is sure to change her melancholic and violent way of living. That will be how I can repay Ce's kindness and patience for me._

_But I did not think that the smile that reappeared as I thought to the implications of having her hairpin had any connection to my 'noble' intentions._

_I had a reason to see her._

_Getting up, I started to plan how I could incorporate a 'coincidental meeting' with her into my scheduled life. _

_Well, that was the plan anyway..._

_When it came time for lunch, I was surprised at the slow passing of time, for my body was ready for dinner. I guess the reason for such dullness is that I did not see her even once today. Her usual seat was empty at breakfast, and when I caused a commotion by attending lunch, her sister did not mention anything as she walked in alone. Well not exactly. She walked in with Ce and Shang Xiang. Again._

_Ce has been acting very peculiar indeed. When he asked me to help with poetry, I was about to ask if he was drunk as he was once quoted on saying: "floral words are for people who are either 1) incapable of using a sword to save their lives or 2) women. I am proud to say that I am neither. But I can't say the same about you, buddy, seeing your fixation to such feminine crap." _

_His sudden one hundred and eighty degree change to his hard attitude towards anything 'feminine' had me in shock to say the very least, and I spent a long time trying to decide whether or not he was trying to be humorous. He did have unusual sense of humour, after all. I chuckled, shaking my head as Ce glared at me impatiently. _

"_Are you feeling alright, Ce? It's a bit late to try and rekindle your interest in poetry, as our tutor has already died several years ago saying you were a write-off." I remember joking, curious as to why he all of a sudden wanted to learn the art of something he was once so against. But then I understood his request immediately. The essays that our tutors practically had to beat out of him were something that would make the great Confucius turn in his grave. Since when has floral expressions been Ce's forte?_

_Since never, that's when._

_And although he would not tell me who the intended recipient was, I bet even my big toe could have figured that one out on its own._

_It must be the Lady Da Qiao._

_But since the Ladies Da and Xiao Qiao had arrived at our palace, the Generals have all been acting very peculiar and most have taken to recite poetry during the short breaks in our meetings and trainings. I guess Ce would have taken that into account. And so he has decided to swallow his pride, and ask me to turn him into someone that was clearly not him. Someone that could woo one with just words on paper, verses in a poem. At first I decided to break him gently into the art of literature as our childhood lessons in the library were not his favourite memories, but he had problems accepting even the most basic of poetic expressions and I had to agree with him._

_It just wasn't…right. It just wasn't Ce._

_After he turned from eager to learn to just plain annoying, I decided to help him out, and we jokingly wrote up our own mockery of a poem, trying out all the clichéd lines, laughing the whole time while we did. Although Ce had 'personalised' his in the end (saying that it sounded more sincere when it came from the heart), I have no idea how my godfather, Huang Gai, had gotten hold of that particular masterpiece. Although Ce and the Lady Da Qiao's identical look of absolute humiliation was quite a sight to see, I admit that the whole time, I was just blown away by how the Lady Xiao Qiao suited the smile on her lips as she giggled at my godfather's comments. _

_Anyway, the Lady Da Qiao seemed preoccupied with something. I started to worry. Was the Lady Xiao Qiao not feeling well? Was that the reason she was skipping her meals? Was she at least eating? Has she summoned the medics? Did her father hurt her again? _

_My eyes coldly glanced towards the Master Qiao Xuan, all the respect I had for him prior to his arrival vanished immediately at the thought of how he treated her. His returning look of dislike confirmed that the loathe was mutual._

_I looked back towards her empty seat again. The Lady Da Qiao was, indeed, unusually quiet today. Her head bowed, her bangs obscuring her dark eyes as she slowly scooped rice into her mouth, careful not to wound her torn lip, chewing on the end of her chopsticks as if her mind was deep in thought. Once in a while, she would look up, a faint blush colouring her cheeks and look back down quickly again, her cheeks now a flaming red._

_I cannot take any more of this tension._

_Silently, I gathered the will power to ask the Lady Da Qiao. I'll just bring it up casually, and then everyone would be none the wiser. As I deliberated on the best way to approach her, Shang Xiang, who usually sat beside the Lady Xiao Qiao, spoke._

"_Hey Da. Is Xiao feeling alright? She's skipped breakfast and lunch! Don't tell me that she's on a diet! She's stick and bones! She'll disappear!"_

_The table broke into gruff chuckles at Shang Xiang's directness and Lady Da Qiao smiled a little as well._

_But, on the other side of the table, I could feel my insides drop._

_Disappear…_

_Would she disappear? She is very thin now that I think about it. Her body probably does not have the buffer to forego two meals. I should send someone to cook her something later on. Even if she does not feel like eating, I would feel better knowing that she at least have some rice porridge to sustain her._

_The Lady Da Qiao subtly gave me a querying look as she turned to answer Shang Xiang, her dark eyes questioning mine._

_How odd._

"_Thank you for your concern, Princess Shang Xiang. Xiao is alright, she is feeling a bit unwell today but I do not think it is something serious. I am sure she will join us for dinner."_

_Again, the subtle look as she resumed eating._

_This was most peculiar._

"_Hmm…really? I hope so." The princess replied, doubt evident in her tone. "Anyway, the only day that Zhou eats with us, Xiao decides to pull a sickie! Something is going on alright!" She joked, as the Generals sniggered in return, their jokes a blur to me._

_Was that it? Was she avoiding me? To the extent that she would go without eating? Was I, again, the cause of her distress? My mind tried in vain to search of alternative reasons, although none of them seemed even the least bit plausible._

_It must be me then._

_Damn._

_I didn't realise the rice on my chopsticks had fallen back into my bowl as I sat there debating with myself, the chopsticks suspended in mid air. _

"_Zhou? Are you alright? I was only joking…don't take it personally." Shang Xiang and Ce exchanged a concerned look. _

_My godfather, Huang Gai peered at me over his bowl. "Zhou, are you sure you're alright? You're looking a bit pale. Are you sure you cleaned your palm properly?"_

"_What? Zhou! You're hurt! How did you do that?" _

_Shang Xiang stood up, knocking her bowl over as tea stained the red table cloth. She marched over towards me, yanking my hand in front of her face, pulling off the dressing in one quick flash. _

"_It's nothing, Shang Xiang. I was careless and cut my hand when I was reading Lu Xun's report, that's all." I replied, the repetitive answer really starting to bore me._

"_What do you think I am, a three year old, Zhou? Do not insult my intelligence! I know a paper cut when I see one. This wound is way too deep! This is definitely done with a weapon, I can bet on it!"_

'_Well, a hairpin actually so I hope you didn't bet much' I mentally retorted, rolling my eyes, pulling my hand back and resuming eating._

_Sensing my reluctance, Ce stepped in. "Shang. Just drop it. Zhou says it's a paper cut so it is a paper cut. Why would he lie?"_

"_Well I don't know. If I knew would I be asking?" She snapped. "I can't believe it, who would dare attack Zhou? I hope they catch that person and punish him real good!" She fumed, stomping back into her chair, shoving rice into her mouth in the most unladylike way. _

_Sun Quan looked up, bemused. "How do you know it's a man for sure? That's rather sexist isn't it Shang?"_

_Shang Xiang shot him her signature patronizing look, the one that said: take this, Quan! "Well, because it's Zhou of course! I know everyone here are all secretly jealous of him. Yourself included, Quan."_

_Mass spitting of tea and rice as the Generals laughed at Shang Xiang's weird conclusion and I really didn't know what to say at her portrayal of me. The Lady Da Qiao paled at how quickly the subject had changed to my injury. It was a topic that she clearly wanted to avoid as well. Shaking, she stood up._

"_I've finished, thank you very much. I really ought to go check on Xiao so if you'll excuse me..."_

_Hmm…slim opportunity but I'll take it. Somehow, the desire to clear my name erupted. I did not want the two sisters to fear me, to…hate me. We wished for the same thing: their freedom._

_She determinedly avoided eye contact with me as she walked passed. I stopped her, my hand on her arm. She looked up, her eyes bulging with alarm._

"_Lady Da Qiao, I shall accompany you to see the Lady Xiao Qiao. I have read many books in the field of medicine, perhaps I could be of some help."_

_Ignoring her look of dread, I got up and brushed myself off before steering her away towards the door. Through my peripheral vision I could see her father get up as well. Mutely, I shot Ce a look; his understanding nod in return was much appreciated, although his expression was very veiled, his eyes lingering on my hand, which rested on the Lady Da Qiao's elbow, but he did not say more on the matter. _

"_Master Qiao Xuan you needn't worry. Zhou is very knowledgeable in this area. It would be good if he had a look at the Lady Xiao Qiao. He can summon the appropriate medics."_

_It was at times like these when I am grateful to have him as a sworn brother. We connected in so many ways._

"_Yeah!" Shang Xiang joined in. "Zhou has patched me up heaps of times! Hopefully he can get Xiao to come eat with us at dinner; the poor girl must be starving."_

_Reluctantly, her father sat back down, drilling his look of fury into my back. I could not help but smile a little at my victory._

_As we walked down the hallway, the Lady Da Qiao's movements stiff with fear, remorse started to grow as I realised that although my intent was to clear my name, I was inadvertently causing more distress. It truly was a lose-lose situation!_

"_Lady Da Qiao…" I began._

"_Lord Zhou Yu," she cut in, turning and unleashing the full force of her dark eyes, shaking my hand off her elbow. I haven't noticed before but she was very beautiful. Intimidatingly so. "My sincerest apologies for my sister's improper behaviour. I know that what she did was inexcusable and punishable by death. I cannot hope for your forgiveness…but I would do anything in return." _

_She turned away from me, her face pained as her tears shimmered, her voice surprisingly cold and courageous for one so gentle. _

"_Even if you desired my body…" She whispered, her eyes closed as if each word cut through her, "…it is yours, so long as you spare my sister."_

**. . .**

_**Xiao Qiao's perspective**_

_Da has been away at lunch for a while now. Our room is strangely unfamiliar and daunting without her presence. I hope she is alright… _

_My stomach grumbled loudly. Oh that's right. I didn't have breakfast or lunch. I feared seeing him, feared being lost within his eyes again, feared touched by him again. Though I could understand why I was afraid of him, as he did hold the decision of life and death for me after I had thoughtlessly attacked him, I cannot fathom why I would bring medication to his study. The only thing going through my mind was the hope that he wasn't in pain._

_The Lord Zhou Yu. _

_I hope he managed to put the ointment on himself. I am so afraid of him, of what he might do, of what is within his rights to do. If he demands my life, then I would gladly give it to him. I would want nothing more than to end this torment. What I would give to not see my father, his calculating smile hurts me more than his bamboo cane when it lashes across my body. What I would give to not see the hideous scars that decorated my pale skin, my body as smooth as the gravel roads in the countryside. What I would give to not see the Lord Cao Cao's face every time I closed my eyes, to not smell his scent as I took a breath, to not taste his lips on my mouth._

_But what about Da? What would happen to her? She would be alone with Father, the same beast I died running away from._

_I can't let that happen to her._

_But what say the Lord Zhou Yu instead demands my body in return for his silence? I swore that I would not let another vile man touch me; that I would rather die than be tainted again by such foul creatures. But that would, again, leave Da alone to face the trouble I created. I cannot allow that. I guess it cannot be helped, then. I would do anything to secure Da's safety, even if it is to go against my words, and sell my body to the demons._

_I looked out the windows again. Where was she?_

_Oh my gosh._

_What if the Lord Zhou Yu did not keep his silence? What if the guards had taken Da away? What if…what if Lord Zhou Yu demands Da's body in exchange for his silence? Da is very selfless, I'm sure she would happily give herself up for me, as I would for her. The thought of my beautiful sister cringing as the Lord Zhou Yu slid her dress off her shoulders hurled me onto the floor, my body shaking with pain I never thought possible._

_No._

_Da has finally found someone she was comfortable with, someone that actually treated her with such kindness as if she was made of glass. I cannot let her throw the one for her and only her away for me. I will not have her save my life with her happiness. I am not worth that much._

_I got up; my feet stumbling slightly, my mind dizzy from hunger. As I staggered across the deserted hallways, praying that everyone was still at the dining hall, two figures stood out that made my heart jump._

_It was Da. And the Lord Zhou Yu, who had both his hands on her shoulders. _

_My first thought was…rage. He was taking advantage of her right in the hallway! I edged closer, looking around for a weapon I could hurt him with; my mind regretting giving him medicine for his wound. I hope his hand rots off! _

_But as I got closer I was flooded with emotions, some of them I could explain, others that plunged me deep into bewilderment. Da looked as if she was crying but it is not as if the Lord Zhou Yu was the source of her tears…on the contrary, he was comforting her. He was looking at her with a tender expression, an expression that was so unlike the cold, bored look I remember from our recent encounters. That tender expression was not the look he reserved for me. _

_I didn't know why it bothered me so much. Of course this would be the case. Da has as many qualities as there are stars in the sky, grains of sand on the beaches. Of course he too, would fall in love with her._

_The unfamiliar pain similar to the one I felt at his indifference to my dance ripped through me again, my legs growing even weaker than the effects of hunger. _

_Why was I feeling like this? Why did I want to compare myself to Da? Why did I deem myself comparable to her?_

_The remains of my shattered mind urged me to leave. I felt around the walls, tears clouding my vision. I was fuzzily aware that they were speaking but I just wanted to seek refuge in our room. All of a sudden, I dreaded Da's return. I just don't know how I should face her._

"…_I've never seen such dedication, such affection for a sibling, except with the three Sun siblings and Ce and myself, of course. I am very touched, Lady Da Qiao."_

_His voice was the sweetest poison. I was rooted on the spot, torn between the desire to leave and stay and hear the rest of their exchange. _

_Was I running from him? _

_Or was I chasing him? _

_I don't know anymore._

_"It was not my intention to cause such harm to you and your sister. I am sorry if that appeared to be the case. I merely wanted to tell you that I have no intention of informing the lords of yesterday's incident. It was an accident and as such, no one can be blamed." _

_He continued as I closed my eyes, savouring the poisonous pleasure created by his voice that crept through me._

_I truly disgust myself._

_Da looked up, her eyes wide, a single tear rolling down her cheek. Her entire features brightened up slightly, her beauty only magnified by her sorrow. _

"_Lord Zhou Yu…I don't know what to say…how can…how could we ever repay you?"_

_He smiled a little, his hand moving to rest on her shaking shoulders._

"_Please tell the Lady Xiao Qiao that looking after herself is repayment enough. Moreover, if my presence causes her pain, then rest assured that could be remedied. I could always eat in my study if it makes her more comfortable. That is all I wanted to say. Take care, Lady Da Qiao, and please take care of the Lady Xiao Qiao." _

_He turned to leave, my hand reaching out towards his retreating figure subconsciously._

"_Lord Zhou Yu, please wait. Please tell me…why? I feel that I owe you my life, for you have spared Xiao's." My sister called, both her hands tugged at his sleeve._

"_Because your sister is not suited to a life of sorrow. Any gentleman would want to cut her free from the sadness that she is bound to."_

_The same unemotional edge seeped back into his tone; I don't know why it nearly reduced me to tears again. He was talking about me as with as much affection as you would a dry and tedious morning report._

"_You did not answer my question, Lord Zhou Yu. I asked why 'you' spared us, why 'you' want to help us."_

_Still he did not turn to face her. Da continued, her voice broken. "Surely you of all people would know that my sister is not a conquest that can be easily won…she will not willingly return your affections. There is no gain in this for you."_

"_I do not hope for anything in return, Lady Da Qiao."_

_His reply was obvious, but I was still crushed by a sudden feeling of disappointment. Really, what did I want to hear? What did I dread to hear? I debated going back to my room, fearful of what he would say next._

"_Then why? If it is for neither love nor lust, why? There is no reason for you to burden yourself with us. Eden or Hell, if it is our fate, then we would learn to accept it. Acceptance is the only way we could find happiness."_

_Something my sister said had sparked some life in him. He turned around, hesitating. "The workings of fate can be changed, Lady Da Qiao."_

_His eyes, how they shone with sadness as he looked into the distance. He suited a touch of melancholy very well._

"_Seventeen years ago, my hopes soared up into the burning, desolate night sky and shattered, taking with it my dreams, my mother's life and countless others. Although my life was spared, a part of me died that night: my trust in others, my hopes for this world. A part of me wished I died that night, with the rest of my village. I was brought back to life when the Lord Sun Jian took me back here and I meet Ce, whom I am forever grateful to. Ce helped me realise that there was a world worthy of my hopes. Although not yet, but he would create it. And I was reborn by his vision."_

_He turned to Da again, a trickle of life shining in his dark eyes._

"_Your sister is just like the helpless me. I feel that she too, is travelling down the same spiralling path of regret. The path that will not lead to happiness. I feel 'bonded' in a way to help. To show her how to smile, the way Ce showed me." The edges of his mouth pulled a little._

_But the way he smiled was so…incomplete that it tore at my heart. That wasn't a smile. That wasn't what a smile is meant to look like!_

_It was truly illogical. One moment I hated him. One moment I feared him. The next, I am concerned for his wellbeing. I don't even know how I felt anymore. _

_Did I fear him? _

_Did I hate him? _

_Yes. I did, in a way. He is a man, and thus he will be my demise. He is a man, and therefore I will be no more than a toy to him. He is a man, the man who can demand my life anytime he wants. Yet, I was pained to see him tormented by his inner demons. _

"_Do you…still feel that way, Lord Zhou Yu? Are you still haunted by your childhood? Are you still haunted by regret?" Came Da's voice, almost a sob._

_He did not answer her. He gave her a small bow and turned to leave, his footsteps echoing down the corridor._

"_Seventeen years…" Da whispered to herself. "How long will it be for Xiao? How long will it be for…me?"_

_**. . .**_

_I guess I have a dilemma. I still did not understand exactly why the Lord Zhou Yu has decided not to tell anyone about my mishap. Conversely, if he had stabbed me or Da__with a hairpin, I don't know if I would be so inclined as to show him the same sympathy. But at the same time, I just don't know how I feel about him._

_Thankful? Immensely so, for he did spare my life._

_Frightened? That I'm not sure. At least, my fears have definitely died down since I first saw him after hearing him speak today._

_My heart gave an involuntary clench. I know that I have been avoiding him. I know I shouldn't, but what other alternative did I have? I just don't understand him, the man who sought to help me. Why, though? No one has ever wanted to help me before. I've never wanted anyone's help before. So why am I not refusing him? I don't even understand myself anymore!_

_I had completely forgotten about the General Huang Gai's victory banquet, until Da asked about the progress of my song I was meant to be composing. I looked at her, completely perplexed, until I remembered. With everything that had gone on, it was no wonder that it had completely skipped my mind! _

_Looking down at my blank parchment, I gave a long sigh. This was, indeed, another problem of mine. Through narrowed eyes, I spared half a glance at my zither on top of my table. God I hated it, this stupid stringed wooden contraption. I could still remember the day Father invited the Lord Dong Zhuo over to listen to Da play. 'Listen to Da play' my foot. That perverted pig stared at her chest the whole time and even had the nerve to kiss Da's fingertips afterwards, saying, and I quote "I cannot wait to see what other wondrous things you could do with your fingers, sweet one."_

_Oh it makes me so mad to see him do that to her!_

_But Da was calm. Da is always calm._

"_And I cannot wait to see how you intend to solve the humanitarian crises in your province, my lord. It would seem that your tax plans are not being received well, are they?" She countered, cold fury blazing in her eyes._

_That stopped him short. He smiled and I could feel the hair on the back of my neck stand up at the change of the atmosphere. He was mad. And he was aroused by her courage and wit._

"_You'll soon find out, won't you?" He chuckled, making his way towards her._

_I snapped._

_And he got burnt. Literally. The teapot in my hand was full of tea, until a second ago that is. Somehow or rather, it had emptied itself onto the Lord Dong Zhuo's face._

_And that killed the romantic atmosphere quite promptly._

_I sighed again, remembering how my skin stung that day as Father's bamboo cane lashed across my body. These unpleasant memories are not helping providing the inspiration I need._

"_Xiao, I've brought you another pot of tea." Da murmured, setting the tray next to my table and replacing the candles in my lamp. It was getting to be very late; the moon was already shining outside my bedroom window._

"_Thanks, Da. You should go to bed." _

_But she shook her head gracefully and sat patiently beside me._

"_Please, Da. You'll get wrinkles if you don't." I joked, sticking my tongue out playfully. "I'm just putting on the finishing touches now, I'll go to bed soon." I continued, discretely covering up my blank parchment. Da gave a small smile, no doubt seeing through my lies._

"_Alright then, Xiao, if you insist. Good night, dear sister." She smiled as she strolled back towards her room. _

_I sighed again. Third time tonight. No doubt Da was waiting until I succumbed to fatigue then she would come out and write my song for me. _

_I really did not deserve such a sister._

_The silvery moonlight shone through my open window, the dim eerie glow catching my attention. My mind seemed to drift away as my eyes took in the bright orb in the patch black night sky. I've never appreciated the infinite abyss above me before, but tonight, the moon was extraordinarily beautiful. It also reminded me of the Lord Zhou Yu. The moon too, shone with such melancholy, such loneliness._

_Yes. Sadness. Loneliness._

_Those words fit him perfectly._

_I mean, sure he __**is **__handsome. Exceptionally so. Beautifully handsome, if such contradiction was possible._

_But I've noticed that beneath Lord Zhou Yu's cool composure and dark piercing eyes was nothingness. It was like looking down the corridors back home without candles to light it…no something even more familiar. It looked like my own eyes when I looked into the looking glass. He was right. We are alike. He and I are both empty shells, empty husks. The walking dead, with no soul, no life. _

_I swallowed a sob that threatened to cry out. Is that…how I looked? Did I emanate such sadness to those around me? Was that why Da was always so careful, so tolerant of me? Was that why growing up, Da has never raised her voice, has never disciplined me, even when I take advantage of her kindness and patience? I have said so many horrible things to her. In my attempt to protect us from the dangers of false hope, I had even tried to kill her belief in love, in what she feels in the Lord Sun Ce. _

_Was I the one who has hurt Da the most?_

_Grabbing my zither roughly, I began to play in earnest, my emotions pouring into the melody, my fingers clicking away at the strings. Tears started to flow freely down my face as I seriously reflected how I've lived for the past sixteen years. I brushed them away impatiently with my free hand as my fingers continued to click at the strings._

_When did I lose sight of everything? When did these distortions started appearing in my life? When did I start letting my world lose colour? When did I lose hope in Da's words that Eden does exist, that somewhere out there was the one for me and only me? When did I let my despair devour me, my sister, and the happiness that she has finally found?_

_All I wanted to do was to defy my father. Almost in vindictive pleasure, really. It has become almost revenge in a way, to cause discomfort to my owner father, my own blood. How twisted have I become? How ruthless and relentless have I become, that I had nearly sacrificed the happiness that fate has gifted to Da, in order to see Father suffer? Instead of searching for a way out, for a happy ending, I kept running away. I couldn't see that not even the end is waiting for us there, down that path, the path that will ultimately lead to my destruction. And Da's._

_The Lord Zhou Yu was right. My future is indeed very concerning. This spiralling path of unhappiness will bring nothing but regret. But what can I do? Was there a way out of this, before I destroy the most important person in my life, my sister? _

_My fingers stopped abruptly, the unhappy note hanging in the air._

_No._

_There isn't a way out of this. No matter how hard I try, how much I struggle, I can't escape the life that has already been scripted. I will continue to live under the abuse of my father until I am gifted away, to an equally unpleasant man who will rule over me, as if I was just a rag doll in his doll house. I will never have the fortune to find the one for me and only me, one that would love me, every bit of me, every inch of my skin, right down to all my flaws. Such perfection does not exist in this world. And such perfection should not be given to me._

_I do not deserve it._

_**. . .**_

_**Zhou Yu's Perspective**_

_Rubbing my eyes for the umpteenth time, I decided it was about time I ended this charade of pretending to read the Lu Meng's reports and go to sleep. Walking through the corridors, I found my mind wondering back to what has captured my attentions the whole night._

"You did not answer my question, Lord Zhou Yu. I asked why 'you' spared us, why 'you' want to help us."

_Why?_

_Why do I feel compelled to help?_

_Why do I feel so helpless, so useless? Why is it that as each day pass, I grow more frustrated that I had let such open abuse continue, right in front of my very eyes? Why am I letting this happen to her, the girl that did nothing to deserve this?_

_The Lady Da Qiao was right. My participation in this battle will give me nothing in return; it wasn't even my battle to begin with. What goes on in the House of Qiao is none of my business. Arranged marriages were common; I myself had arranged some to strengthen the alliances in our Kingdom as well. The feelings of the subjects were never factors that warranted my attentions. It was part of the burden we bared living in such an unstable period. _

_But why is that when it came to her, I can't seem to summon my rationality. Was it because I've seen how different she was when she was in her own world, alone in the imperial gardens, and how quickly her brave front appears to hide the innocence underneath. Was it because I know how small, how frail she was under the fancy dress, the makeup, the 'Lady Xiao Qiao' title she is to uphold every day? Was it because I see myself, the frightened child that the Lord Sun Jian saw seventeen years ago, buried deep under her cold eyes? It is really quite a wonder: courage worthy of a warrior on a face of a porcelain doll. _

_As I walked, I started to wonder how infectious she was. Her sadness. Her vulnerability. Shaking my head, I wandered through the dark corridors, until I heard a strange melody echo into my footsteps._

_Someone was playing the zither, but I did not know that the strings could produce such a sorrowful tune. My footsteps quickened. Whoever was playing the zither was very skilled, there was no traces of hesitation as their fingers glided through the different strings with great precision. I did not know that deep in the palace, someone else had shared the same passion for music as I did._

_Light was shining from the guest room in the East Wing, where the music flowed through the open window. The Lady Xiao Qiao sat rigid on the floor, her zither sat above her thighs, a small crease between her brows, her small hands brushing away the tears she refuses to shed. Perhaps it was because this was the first time I have seen her since her late visit last night (not counting the times she plagued my mind), or perhaps I was just so stunned by how…angry she looked as her fingers struck her zither violently, but found myself rooted by her window, marvelling at the sight in front of me._

_Suddenly, her fingers froze mid air, the look of fury vanishing from her features. I closed my eyes, listening longingly as the last resonance of the melody drifted away. _

"_I do not deserve it." She whispered unexpectedly to herself._

_What did she not deserve? _

_Sacrificing her childhood to prepare for the future her father has created? Being the object of desire for all the males in the room, and knowing that while all eyes are on her, her father is neither grateful nor aware of her sacrifice? Forfeiting her rights as a human being, her dreams of the future in exchange of being a dutiful wife of a stranger she shares no feelings for? _

_Is she selfish for wanting not part of this? Is she selfish for wanting to take control of her own life? Could it be called sabotage, these desperate acts of freedom, or is it more appropriate to call them survival instincts?_

_I don't think she is selfish. She is just trying to save her and her sister in her own way, in the only way she can. Her actions did not take away lives. She did not seek pleasure out of the suffering of others. That isn't selfishness. She did not act like me._

_She did not deserve any of this._

_There is an old saying: "the sound of the song is the sound of the heart". It means that one pours their soul into the music they create, and if one listens hard enough, they could almost share the same emotions. Her song was not a pleasant one; the melodies reflected in her mind were not all that pleasant, either. I don't think the zither was made to convey such sorrow. How can the same instrument that produces so many wonderful songs my mother adored reflect such a colourless world? But I do not believe that her world is black and white. It is not as if she did not know how to smile, as I have seen her so beautifully done so before. _

_She just has no desire to. _

_She gave a sigh and hunched over her desk, the brush in her hand weaving up and down, imprinting the melody onto the parchment. I studied her expression, studied her every movement. She could write with her left hand and play the strings with her right. It was as if she had memorised every sound the strings could produce, that the strings were like the back of her hand. She was truly fascinating. It did not even occur to me that I had spent the whole night spying on her until the sun slowly rose, illuminating the surroundings with its warmth and light. After the ink of the last character dried on the page, she looked up, studying her work, a curious look on her face._

"_There. Glad that's out of the way. Although I do admit that it doesn't quite fit the celebratory atmosphere, does it?" She sighed, throwing her zither a dirty look, as if it was the instrument's fault for such a sorrowful tune. "Truthfully, it fits the mood perfectly. 'Celebration' my foot. It is such a black day for us. Imagine that, tomorrow, no, today, could be the day that Da or I are betrothed to someone. Wouldn't that be horrible?"_

_She asked no one in particular, shuddering delicately. Lying on her back, she placed her finished parchment over her face. Surprising and amusing me, she let out a long sigh and the paper floated lightly above her, causing her to giggle._

"_But I suppose, if we are married here, then Da and I could still see each other often. It would be just like back in Suiyang. And Shang Xiang and Tong would be here as well! Maybe we could go bear hunting after all."_

_I had almost laughed out loud. Bear hunting? I did not know that of all the people in the world, the only person who had agreed to Shang Xiang's idea of entertainment would be 'the' Lady Xiao Qiao! I didn't think my mind was able to comprehend such a paradoxical combination. I did not know the pair was that close! So it would also seem that I am not the only person that has noticed the difference in the way the Lady Xiao Qiao acts. _

_Her voice seem so different from the cold monotone I was used to hearing. I found that it is only when she is alone did her voice sound more like the soft silk that I heard on the first day I saw her at the gardens. With her back still lying on the floor and the paper covering her face, her fingers glided across the strings, playing aloud the last few beats to her song. I was impressed with such feat when she abruptly stopped playing, just as she had done before. _

"_But I just can't bring myself to go through with it. I don't want to get married. I'd rather die." She whispered, as a small knock sounded against her door, and her sister walked in._

"_Good morning, Xiao. It would seem that inspiration has kept you awake for the night." Her eyes fell on the parchment that was still resting on the Lady Xiao Qiao's face, and she clicked her tongue in disapproval. _

"_Alright, Xiao. Do go wash your face. Father has ordered us to be at the dining banquet early so he could remind us of our behaviour for the banquet at noon."_

_Lady Xiao Qiao gave a long exaggerated sigh. "Yeah, yeah I know, I know. We walk in. We bow. We bat our eyes prettily. We 'up hold the Qiao name'. How excruciatingly boring." _

_The Lady Da Qiao suppressed a giggle at the way her younger sister perfectly mimicked her father's slippery, greedy tone. _

"_By the way, have you finished with your song? Would you like me to have a look at it?" _

_The Lady Xiao Qiao sat up immediately and pulled down her sister gently and placed the zither in front of her, a wide smile on her face._

"_Yes please, Da. I haven't heard you play in so long, I miss it."_

_The beautiful music resounded, and I, again, had the honour in being its audience. The Lady Da Qiao has truly mastered the art beautifully, her fingers moving over the strings fluidly, sounding as if she has practice the song all her life, instead of it being her first time performance. As the last note lingered, the Lady Xiao Qiao let out a small indulgent sigh._

"_Wow, that was beautiful, Da." She breathed. "It sounds much better when you play it."_

"_Thank you, Xiao. I really enjoyed it. It was beautifully composed. But I can't help but feel that it is quite melancholic for a song of celebration..." The Lady Da Qiao said as she played the last few beats again, adding little variations to the notes, creating a beautiful ending to the masterpiece. _

_The Lady Xiao Qiao's brow crinkled deep in thought._

"_Well, I thought it's a bit unfair to the song, Xiao, the way you ended it with such sorrow." The Lady Da Qiao joked, trying to make her little sister smile._

_The Lady Xiao Qiao shrugged. "This song is a requiem, much like the ending we face."_

"_I disagree, Xiao. Would you not agree that the journey is more important than the ending? That the memories created is worth more than the reward at the end?"_

"_No, I don't agree. If there is nothing waiting for me but regret and despair, then I'd rather not have had the expectation, the hope. The memories would only become painful reminders of what could have been, which is worse than not having them at all."_

"_Xiao…"_

"_The loss of hope is truly excruciating, isn't it? Good. That is the type of pain Father deserves. I'll make him regret ever hurting you, Da."_

_The Lady Xiao Qiao whispered before shaking her head impatiently. "I'm sorry, Da. I've done it again, haven't I? I've made you sad."_

_She gave her sister a brief hug. "Let's go get ready. I don't fancy making Father grumpy so early in the morning. His puffed out red face will clash against his blue robes." She joked, and both sisters giggled as they gathered their clothes and strolled out of the room._

_The last note of the song echoed in my mind, along with the Lady Xiao Qiao's words of her bleak future, and a lingering sense of dread. _

_She was right, she did not deserve any of it. Whether it was the past that created the mournful tune or the sorrowful future alluded to by the song, she did not deserve it at all._

* * *

_**Phew, another long chapter. **_

**_Please note that I have updated the Prelude and so please read it as well :)_**

**_~Yuu_**


	15. True Blue Symphony

Thank you heaps to everyone who has read the story! Here is another LOOOONG chapter! Oh! And I've also put up the 2nd instalment of the Rewrite of Untouched, and Chapter Two is officially revamped! Please check it out and tell me what you think!

**Branch**, I don't deserve your kind review! Thank you, as always, and I will continue to keep trying and write awesome stories just like you!

**Megan'x'Mysticell**, Yes! Xiao is slowly (but surely) changing! Hopefully you'll keep reading and see her full metamorphosis! Thank you heaps!

**Ame**, As always, your cheery reviews brightens up my day, even when I'm feeling like the down side of a mop of a public toilet!

**Disclaimer: **Not me. Not I.

* * *

_**True Blue Symphony**_

_**Da Qiao's Perspective**_

_As I combed Xiao's straight long hair, I couldn't help but sigh at my failure. I had thought that playing the zither would be a good release for her. I had hoped that the zither could help me uncover the cheerful younger sister that I was steadily losing as she approached the age to be wed. I had prayed that by staying positive, I could become Xiao's ray of hope, that she would not lose faith in life. That she would continue to keep the will to live. But today, playing the song that she composed herself proved to me how far my goal I still was. Xiao's song, although beautiful, was cold, lifeless. It was a reflection of her heart. Like one travelling down the path of regret where all they see is bad memories and self doubt. Where every step they took plunged them deeper into sorrow; where every breath they took pain grabbed a hold of them and pushed its venom deeper and deeper._

_Why couldn't I save her?_

_Why couldn't I have done something?_

_Regret._

_It truly is a unique emotion._

_It could infest your mind faster than wild fire; it could appear as quietly as the spring breeze, twirling the leaves at my feet._

_I was Xiao's ray of hope._

_I have to be the one who saves her, seeing as I was the one who had helped pushed her down in the beginning. But I didn't save her. I couldn't save her. Although there was a difference between didn't and couldn't, as 'could' implied the intention to, but also the incapability of, the results were still the same._

_Xiao was hurt. And it was my fault. _

_The Lord Cao Cao had taken advantage of her while she was miles away from me._

_Father had tormented her while she was under my care. Father had abused her while I turned a blind eye. _

_I had once said…_

_No._

_My heart thumped painfully. She must not feel this pain that I am feeling._

_Regret was not the only path she could take. There was still hope yet for my younger sister, I am sure of it. But was my path any more tolerable? Was acceptance truly going to bring me happiness? Would I truly be able to accept a loveless marriage?_

_After speaking to the Lord Zhou Yu yesterday, I had made some very interesting discoveries. He was not at all the cold hearted strategist I had feared him as. He was willing to spare Xiao, for nothing in return. Moreover, he wanted to help Xiao. He felt 'bonded' to. I felt lightheaded with relief, praying with all my heart that when it came time for Heaven's cruel twist of fate, this particular alliance would not become a double edged sword._

_The other pleasant discovery was that the Lord Sun Ce and I were actually very similar, in that we have both tried to drag our loved one from the sea of despair that so insistently refuses to leave them alone. I could always feel that the Lord Sun Ce's kindness was not a mask for his desire; I have always felt that he was a good man through and through. Even though I have never seen the Lord Zhou Yu prior to my coming here, I have heard from Shang Xiang that despite what it looks like, this is a big improvement. _

_According to her, not only did the Lord Zhou Yu never used to eat with everyone else, he never used to eat. Full stop. He wouldn't sleep either. All he wanted to do was to kill. He was convinced that some of the bandits that had murdered his mother had escaped, and he would not rest until he had personally ended their lives. And this was when he was only seven. _

_However, once the Lord Sun Ce took him under his wing (well, 'forced' was more appropriate as Shang Xiang did mention that Lord Zhou Yu did not instantly warm up to his new cheerful friend), he started changing. He stopped having nightmares. He devoted his life to literature and would talk more. But deep down, I know he was hurting, and still is. Just like Xiao._

_The Lord Sun Ce and I both underestimated how deeply scarred our loved ones were, that the wounds inflicted in their childhood were so deep that even we could not reach. _

"_Da…are you alright?"_

_Xiao's quiet voice broke through my reverie. I blinked, noticing that I was halfway combing her hair before I dazed off._

"_I'm sorry, Xiao. I am fine. I just can't wait to hear your performance." I managed half a smile._

"_Oh. That." Xiao gave a long sigh and rolled her eyes. "Is it too late to tell Father that my zither had accidentally set fire to itself?" She muttered sarcastically, tugging at a loose strand of hair idly._

"_Xiao, I want you to make me a promise." I began sternly, looking straight into her eyes. "I want you to promise me that you will try your best at the banquet. You are not to intentionally start anything, alright?"_

"_What do you mean, dear sister?" Xiao asked innocently, deception playing in her eyes._

_I held her gaze, telling her with my eyes that I was serious. I could see that her mind was tinkering away, trying to find a loophole in my words._

"_Do not take me as a fool, Xiao. I just want you to promise me that you will not put yourself in danger for me, for us again. Please leave your future in my hands; I will not let Father give you away without a fight…I owe you that much." My voice trailed away in guilt. _

_Xiao's eyes hardened. "I couldn't care less about me, Da. It is you I am worried about. Father can give me to whoever, I do not plan to serve a man, ever. I'd die before I do." _

"_What do you mean, Xiao?" I whispered, reading her distant look. "You don't mean that you…do not intend to live past your wedding night, do you?"_

_A moment's silence passed uncomfortably. _

"_Da…" She whispered, "If one day I no longer exist in the same time as you, you need to promise me that you would continue living, for the both of us."_

_I could almost hear my heart drop in my chest at her words. I swung her around roughly and when she tried to look away from my furious glare, I placed both my hands around her cheeks._

"_Xiao Qiao. You are to promise me that for whatever reason you will never ever hurt yourself."_

_She tried to shake my hold off her, but I held on to her tighter. In the back of my mind, I cringed thinking that I may have left bruises on her cheeks from when my fingertips dug in to keep her still._

"_Nothing causes me more pain than to see your suffering, Xiao! Just what do you wish to achieve anyway? There will always be a suitor out there for you! There will always be another Lord Dong Zhuo, another Lord Cao Cao for Father to gift us to!"_

"_I don't care, Da!" She screamed back, pushing me off her. "I'm determined to hurt Father as many times I can. I am planning to use my life to its fullest, and the only way I can is by destroying him, the same way he destroyed you!"_

_I held back the tears that threatened to fall. Just what is Xiao's reflection of light and life? What made up her world? Could it be that for all these years she saw nothing but revenge, nothing but violence? Could she have already spiralled so far down this miserable path that there was no way I could save her?_

"_No you will not. You will use your life to its fullest by living. Revenge cannot buy you happiness, Xiao."_

"_Happiness it may not achieve, but the satisfaction that I at least destroyed his happiness is the ultimate reward! His suffering is my happiness."_

_Her lips curved up to a maniac smile, the crescent of her lips frightening me a little._

_Who is she?_

_She is not Xiao Qiao._

_She is not my little sister._

"_Stop this crazed thinking at once, Xiao Qiao! If you do not, then I would ask Father to send me to Luoyang, and I will wed the Lord Cao Cao. I'd rather marry the Northern Lord than to see you intentionally hurt yourself." _

_I know that I was crossing the line with this threat, and I know it may sound like an empty threat but I was serious. Never again will I allow Xiao to experience any forms of discomfort if I could help it. Xiao deserved to live a full, happy life. Her smile was the antidote for my regret. Her happiness was the atonement of my sins. _

_But I had not expected Xiao's violent reaction._

"_No!" _

_She screamed and lunged at me on all fours, her tears smudging her freshly applied make up and we fell onto the floor. Sparks flew in my mind as I tried to regain my senses, a dull pain spreading through my arms as they contracted with the cool ground to break my fall. _

"_Never ever say that, Da!" Xiao wailed, close to hysteria. "I will throw myself off these palace walls if you are ever put within a feet of that awful man! You cannot marry him! Death is more bearable than such fate!"_

"_Xiao…" I tried to pat her head, internally scolding myself for such lack of tact._

"_Da, I promise I won't cause trouble today. I'll write it in blood if you want. But please don't ever say that you will go to the Lord Cao Cao, no matter what happens. I want you to promise to me now, Da."_

_At that moment, Ling Mei rushed in, alarmed by the commotion. After seeing us sprawled across the floor, she quickly helped us up. "Lady Da Qiao, Lady Xiao Qiao, are you alright?"_

"_Promise me, Da." Xiao interrupted her, still holding on to the front of my robes. "Otherwise I will take my life right here and now."_

"_I promise, X-Xiao." I stammered, frightened by the haunted look on Xiao's face. _

_Xiao nodded her head solemnly in oath and allowed Ling Mei to lead her back on her chair. With my hand shaking slightly, I picked up Xiao's comb and started brushing her hair again, my heart still pounding painfully in my chest. We acted like nothing happened, even though our deep but uneven breathing gave away the commotion before._

_Oh Xiao. Will you not allow me to undo what I have done, and make up for my mistakes?_

_**. . .**_

_The banquet hall was unusually full of life as plates and plates of food were dished up onto the table. The counsellors were ecstatic that the experienced General was able to secure promises of peace from the Shu Lord, the Lord Liu Bei himself, and the soldiers cheered as the General boasted that in comparison to the Wu infantry, the Shu army fought like children. But I think the main reason for such energy in the banquet hall was neither due to the fine meals nor the positive outlook. _

_It was Xiao._

_Wearing her favourite light blue dress, Xiao looked absolutely marvellous with her long hair scoped to the side and wisterias draping down by her fringe. Her makeup was reapplied, making her eyes sparkle as she talked. But the most beautiful part was that she was openly smiling, and talking to those around her. The inhabitants of the Wu palace grew used to my sister's silence and welcomed this new, talkative Xiao with open arms. But watching her smile only made the guilt inside me boil over._

_Xiao was not enjoying the banquet. She was just making sure that by keeping her end of the promise, I will honour my part as well. _

_I sighed, looking away from her artificial smile and laughter._

"_Do not fret, Da Qiao. Your sister is behaving surprisingly well; do not spoil this joyous occasion." Father whispered beside me, his voice like poison._

_Automatically, I placed my well practiced smile back on my lips._

"_Much better. Does she have a song ready?" He asked urgently, while giving the Lord Sun Jian a polite smile._

"_Yes, Father." I whispered back._

"_Good. If all goes well, I should receive an offer from either the Lord Sun Jian or the General Huang Gai by the end of tonight."_

_I looked back in shock. He was planning to marry Xiao off already! So soon!_

"_But Father, shouldn't we perhaps, ask Xiao first?" I stuttered, aware that my voice was growing louder and drawing the Lord Sun Ce's attentions. He looked up and walked towards me immediately._

"_My decision is not of her concern." He spat back viciously, as if I had lost my mind. "Moreover, I said that I am waiting for offers, not that I was accepting them."_

"_What do you mean, Father?" I began in a hushed tone, but Father looked away, towards the Lord Sun Ce, who was standing a few steps away from us._

"_The Lord Cao Cao's offer is not easily topped." He muttered before looking up, his greedy smile back on his face. "Lord Sun Ce, how wonderful this banquet is! Look, even my daughter is enjoying the festivities!" Father called loudly, giving a small bow._

"_Master Qiao Xuan, I hope the food is to your liking?" He asked politely, his smile dissolving my unease. "By the way, Lady Da Qiao, would you be able to give me a hand? Shang Xiang is thinking about playing the flute to accompany your sister's song and for the sake of everyone in the Kingdom, we would be grateful if you could talk her out of it?" He added, giving me a wink._

_I glanced towards my father, who nodded his head, giving me his permission._

"_I will try, my Lord."_

"_Excellent! This way, Lady Da Qiao." The Lord Sun Ce lead me towards an empty seat on the other side of the banquet hall next to Shang Xiang and a boy in red I have not seen before, and stood beside me, like my own personal body guard._

"_Da! Excellent timing! I want to introduce to you my little bro here!" Shang Xiang chatted excitedly while I smiled back politely._

_At that moment, the servants began to clear an area in the middle of the banquet hall and set up Xiao's zither on top of the table. Remembering why I was called here, I turned and gave Shang Xiang a nervous smile._

"_Princess Shang Xiang, I was advised by your brother to talk to you regarding your proposed musical performance…" I began, not knowing how I should proceed. I have heard of her violent tantrums before._

"_What? What performance?" Shang Xiang asked, her eyes wide. "Hey Xun, did you hear about it?"_

_The boy in red, Xun, shook his head, as confused as I was. I looked up at the Lord Sun Ce immediately, who burst into a laughing fit._

"_Sorry, Da Qiao." He sniggered, "I lied. I didn't think that you would fall for such a farfetched tale! Shang Xiang playing the flute? When Hell freezes over!"_

_I blinked, trying to comprehend what was going on. "Then why did…?" _

"_Well, I could be nosy, but you didn't look very happy before, so I thought that I'd get you out of there." He crouched down and studied my face. "Your brows were crinkled and your lips were pursed. Even though you still looked amazing, it wasn't the Da Qiao I wanted to see."_

_I blinked, feeling my lips pull up to a smile at his words._

"_My Lord…" I whispered. "Thank you, Lord Sun Ce." _

"_See, much better." He laughed, touching my lips gently with his fingers. I closed my eyes on contact._

"_Umm…Ce, you do realise that we are still here, right?" Shang Xiang's annoyed voice called._

_My eyes snapped open. Shang Xiang sat with her arms folded in front of her, a pout on her face while Xun looked away awkwardly, his face bright red._

"_And what was this about you using me as a tool?" Shang Xiang began hotly, rubbing her knuckles menacingly. _

"_Uh, look Da," Ce hurried on, pointing towards my sister, "Xiao seems to be rather cheerful and talkative today. That's a surprise."_

_That caught our attention, and Shang Xiang and I looked towards the crowd gathered around Xiao, just as Xiao's high pitched laughter peeled across the room and frowned._

"_Hardly." Shang Xiang shook her head, "Did she lose a bet or something, Da? Why is she acting so strange? I mean, she doesn't look happy at all! It's giving me goose bumps just watching her."_

_I nodded my head in agreement, surprised at how perceptive the tomboy princess was, and how lucky Xiao and I were, to have a true friend like her._

_Ce nodded his head in thought. "You know, you're not the only one that has pointed that out to me. Zhou said the same thing as well, something about that smile does not suit the Lady Xiao Qiao at all."_

_My head snapped around. "Did he really say that?" I asked, surprised that the man could see through my sister's disguise. How unpredictable our 'ally' was indeed!_

_Ce was surprised at my sudden interest, and quickly defended his sworn brother. "Please don't be offended, Da. Zhou says some pretty weird things sometimes. He once said that I had the maturity of a pumpkin. Go figure." He chuckled nervously, trying to get me to smile once more._

"_Please don't worry, my Lord. I was merely surprised by how the Lord Zhou Yu took the words right out of my mouth. He is right. Xiao does not usually smile like that. It is most unusual." _

"_Yeah, but isn't it weird?" Shang Xiang cut in, her brow scrunched up in thought, "Zhou has never noticed anything like that before, ever. And speaking of Zhou, where the heck is he?"_

"_Master Zhou Yu has retreated back to his chambers, I think." Lu Xun spoke for the first time. He sounded very young, but I could hear the layers of wisdom that thrived to flourish underneath. "He seemed very preoccupied today, and before he left, he said something about 'such wonder should not be ended so prematurely.'" _

_I tilted my head, trying to find meaning in his words while Ce and Shang Xiang whistled loudly._

"_Heaven have mercy on our souls," they sighed in unison, "Zhou has finally gone bonkers."_

_**. . .**_

_**Zhou Yu's Perspective**_

_Although I have gotten used to the air of gloom and helplessness whenever the puppet like Lady Xiao Qiao was around, I was not prepared for the tidal wave of sadness when I saw her smile and laugh today. Never had she looked so strained. Never has she looked so dead inside. There was no life in her eye as she smiled, no humour in her voice as she laughed. I stared in wonder as the Generals crowded around her, delighted by all the attention she was giving them. I looked at the Lady Da Qiao, wondering if she would know about the reason for the Lady Xiao Qiao's peculiar behaviour. But in contrast to her sister's supposedly cheery moods, the Lady Da Qiao kept her head down for the entire duration of the banquet. Not once did she look up from her plate. Her father, on the other hand, looked around, smug with how well behaved his usually unspeaking daughter was. _

"_Something just doesn't feel right today." Ce murmured beside me, idly picking at his food. I was surprised by my sworn brother; he wasn't usually one to notice the details._

"_I agree, Ce. That smile does not suit the Lady Xiao Qiao at all." _

_As soon the words came out of my mouth, I regretted my honesty at once. My mind protested loudly at my betrayal. I have just gotten so used to speaking my mind around Ce._

"_Xiao? Why, what's wrong with Xiao?" Ce looked up towards the sound of giggling and tilted his head. _

_I didn't know Ce and the Lady Xiao Qiao were acquainted, close enough for him to call her just 'Xiao'. And I also did not know why it bothered me so much. It also bothered me that both Ce and Shang Xiang seem to know a lot about the Lady Xiao Qiao, hidden behind all the pretences. Even though I have only seen a glimpse of the real her, as I secretly watched her from her bedroom window, I was driven insane with curiosity. _

_What does the world look like through her eyes? What are her likes and dislikes? What makes her smile? What makes her brows crinkle deep in thought, just like it had as she played her zither last night? How does her expression portray her different emotions?_

_The answers must be very intriguing indeed, as this was the girl who apparently wanted to go bear hunting with Shang Xiang._

"_Personally, I much prefer her smiling. It is much more like the Xiao that Da and Shang always talk about."Ce decided, continuing our conversation, "It is Da that I am worried about."_

_I shook my head in wonder. That was a miscalculation on my part. Of course he does not notice anyone or anything apart from the Lady Da Qiao._

"_Well, it's nothing really..." He mumbled, a bit embarrassed like he was confessing something humiliating. I raised my eyebrow and tilted my head towards him, initiating the game of patience. I know that deep down, he was dying to spill his guts._

"_If you really want to know, Zhou, it's just…well, Da hasn't looked up once since she entered the room. Okay, that's not true, I saw her talk to Pops and her father a couple of times. She just hasn't looked at… me once today." Ce muttered. _

_I bit my lip, trying not to laugh at how stalker like he sounded, the way he kept track at what the Lady Da Qiao was doing at all times. Having said that, he wasn't the one peeping from her bedroom window, was he? Well, not that I know of anyway..._

"_I mean, I don't want to be paranoid or obsessive or anything, but usually during meal times, she would always know when I was looking at her, and she would always smile back. But today, it's as if she was avoiding looking at me." Ce continued, and I bit my lip harder, feeling my lips twitching upwards, the flesh screaming in silent protest._

_No, 'paranoid' or 'obsessive' would not be words I would use to describe you, Ce. You've out right lost your mind. I thought about stopping him. In his vulnerable state, he'd probably spill more than he would like to, more than he should. But Ce, in his completely oblivious state, continued, his voice becoming more passionate (and loud!)._

"_So what did I do wrong? Maybe I moved too quickly. I mean, I went from calling her 'Lady Da Qiao' to 'Da' straight away. Maybe the transition was too rushed? Maybe she was offended? Oh no…" Ce paled, losing steam._

"_What now?" I asked lazily, but a bit nervous at what could possibly make him so serious._

"_I think I know what I did wrong." He gulped._

"_Yes?"_

"_Before I even changed how I called her, before she even knew me for god's sake, I kissed her."_

_I blinked. He had failed to tell me that before._

"_And?" I prompted, for he looked in shock. "I'm sure she found it a sweet gesture, unless you tried to go one step further?" I raised my eyebrow. I had full confidence in my sworn brother's self control, but then again, his actions had become unpredictable lately, especially with regards to matters involving the Lady Da Qiao._

"_Of course not, Zhou! I'd kill myself before I do that to her!"_

"_Then there is nothing to worry about. Moreover, she has spoken to you afterwards, has she not? Then this must be an isolated incident that you should not take heart in."_

"_Yes, she did. But maybe she was being polite? She seems to be the type to put other's wellbeing before her own." The relief was written over his face for a split second before paranoia engulfed him, again. I seriously considered holding up a mirror to show him how ridiculous he looked, feeling sorry for his facial muscles to have to respond to his radical mood swings at the same time._

"_I am sure that is not the case, Ce. She seemed genuinely happy to be in your presence. Otherwise I am sure Shang Xiang or the Lady Xiao Qiao would have mentioned something to you." I reasoned, wondering why I all of a sudden felt bitter and annoyed. Why do I have this feeling of irrational agitation as I thought about the Lady Xiao Qiao approaching Ce to talk about something so trivial? Perhaps they would greet each other as if they have known each other for years? Perhaps they would joke with each other? My sworn brother was very easy to get along with, I am sure that is the case._

"_Yeah, but this is serious Zhou. What if that was her first kiss?" _

_A moment's silence passed and I felt uncomfortable at the awkwardness. Did I miss something? Why did Ce look like he was about to hang himself? I tried to think back to Ce's words, looking for significant meanings but finding none._

"_And?" _

_Simplicity was definitely more preferable when Ce is in one of these moods, which isn't often. _

"_Oh come on, Zhou! You grew up with Shang as well! Don't you know how important a girl's first kiss is? The point is, you only have your 'first kiss' once!"_

"_Well done, Ce. That is generally what the term 'first' implies."_

_I rolled my eyes, unable to resist the urge of using air quotation marks, wondering at the same time why he was getting himself worked up over nothing. Sarcasm is also a good companion in times like these._

"_No I don't understand this sentiment crap either, but to women it is very important! Remember how angry Shang was at Lu Meng for giving her mouth-to-mouth when she nearly drowned? His face was swollen for weeks!"_

_I nodded my head slowly. I do recall the incident, as it was a mystery that I have yet to figure out. "I don't think Lu Meng understood it either."_

"_Well, what if she was saving it up for someone else? I mean, it's not like I can 'give it back' can I? I took something that was invaluable. And I can never undo what I did. What if she hates me for the rest of her life?"_

"_Hmm. I see." I nodded my head placidly, reminding myself to roll my eyes when I have fully turned my head away from him.  
_

"_I bet I was horrible to boot." Ce moped. "I bet I traumatised her."_

_We sat in uncomfortable silence as Ce pondered. My sworn brother's skill at kissing was not a topic that I really wanted to partake in. At any rate, whether or not I provided a response was clearly irrelevant to Ce, as he continued to spill his guts anyway._

"_I mean, some girls value death before dishonour. If they like someone, then that's it. I mean, I understand that feeling. When I first saw her, all I could say to myself was 'Wow. She's the one.' I wanted to give her everything."_

"_Prudence, my Lord." I cautioned, knowing that Ce would catch on to the seriousness of the situation as I had addressed him by 'Lord'. "You must know to draw a line between sentiment and reality. The saying is true: a hero cannot resist the temptation of a beauty. But you are not a hero. You are more than a hero. You must not let that happen to you, you who hold the burden of the lives of so many."_

"_Burden is the perfect word to describe it." He muttered, and I could feel the strain seep through from his usually cheery attitude. "I wouldn't mind being a peasant in my next life, in a cottage far away from all the politics and fighting. Just me and my beloved. I bet that even without all the expensive jewels and silk robes, she would still look gorgeous." He gave a smile, one so private I have never seen before and I gave a curt cough, a bit worried about his commitment towards his dream._

"_Ce, don't let lust become your undoing. If you are ever put into the situation to choose between love and honour, I advise you to choose wisely."_

"_Well if you ask me, a true hero does not choose between the vast mountains and the beauty. A true hero can secure both. And that is the type of hero I will make sure I become. That is the only path I will take."_

_Different paths of life. _

_Choices._

_One wrong choice, and your life spirals towards regret._

_Should I regret what I had done? Those vermin deserved to die, and I deserved to end their lives. I should have no regrets._

_Should._

_Perhaps this was the helplessness I felt. I knew that killing them would not bring my mother back. I knew that once my hands were stained with blood, I could not change that. I know that if my mother was alive, she would not approve of my actions. But if I had spared them, I would never forgive myself; regret would be an understatement._

_So I chose to kill._

"_Ce, what if you found out that the end was going to be different that what you envisioned, or as every bit cruel as you have foresaw? What would you do?"_

"_Well, I would not travel towards an undesirable end to start with…"_

"_Hypothetically, Ce. Would you choose to fight against fate, even if you know that your actions will bring harm to you and your loved one? Or would you continue your journey, even though it will lead to pain? Would you hope that something would change, that acceptance would bring you happiness?"_

"_Hmmm… none of the above." He decided and I stared back in shock. It would seem that I did not understand my sworn brother at all, as I was willing to bet that he'd pick option number one._

"_Well, if my loved one was the reason I challenged fate, then having them hurt sort of defeats the whole purpose. Even if I was able to 'defeat' fate, I would live in regret knowing that I had brought harm to those I wanted to protect. I also wouldn't pray for Heaven's mercy, because that's a waste of time. If they were truly merciful, then they wouldn't have put you in the position in the first place."_

_I nodded my head, surprised by the quick passing of time. In the blink of an eye, Ce, the annoying, immature, and sometimes reckless Little Conqueror had matured to be a capable leader. If only I had met him earlier, if only I heard his wise words before I took a life for vindictive pleasure. Maybe my life would have been different. Maybe I would view the world differently._

"_Well, some might call me a selfish coward for running away, but as for me, I would choose the option that the Heavens did not think of. I would choose to die an honourable death, and show the Heavens that it cannot bend me to its will." Ce nodded his head, looking like my 'big brother', and not my talkative playmate._

"_And the loved ones you leave behind, Ce? What about them? Your choice would also bring them pain, and you would achieve nothing. It's not a very good plan."_

"_I never said it was a good plan."_

"_Then what is your motivation?"_

"…_I don't know. No one really plans to die, right? You must be pushed to the brink of despair to consider such option. I mean, now that I know what I'm leaving behind, it is not a choice that I would make lightly. It really changes the way I think. What I thought were my priorities now seem so silly."_

_I stifled a gasp. There, right in front of me, was my best friend and sworn brother, throwing away everything that we had achieved for seventeen years. He had found something 'better', someone 'more important'. I felt selfish. I should be happy that he is genuinely happy right now, more happy than I have ever seen him. This was not the happiness he radiated when we would come home from a victorious campaign, knowing our victories came at the price of lives that we ourselves had ended. This was something more._

_So much more._

_I was afraid. I did not him to abandon our dreams, abandon the world he vowed that we would create. But I was most afraid that he would abandon me. _

"_Please explain." _

_I dreaded the answer, I dreaded him to tell me, in his own words, that I was no longer in what he deemed to be his future._

"_Well, after I have spent time with Da I've realised something: my life is never going to be the same again. I still want to create a world where there isn't greed or corruption. A world without bandits to prey on the weak and one in which parents won't need to worry about sending their children into battle. The world we talked about, Zhou."_

_I nodded my head, silently swallowing a breath of relief._

"_But even if we achieve our dreams of expanding the Wu Kingdom, I don't want the journey there to be full of regrets, full of 'I should have's. I want her to be with me in the world I create. I can't imagine being happy in that world by myself. That's not how the end should look like. Otherwise I'm better off not started my journey at all." _

_His words sounded so familiar, like a sad melody lingering in my mind. This pessimistic outlook in life, this sense of foreboding, was death was more preferable than the ending he foresees?_

"_And your memories would only become painful reminders of what could have been, which is worse than not having them at all." I whispered aloud before I could stop myself._

"_Yeah, my exact thought, Zhou. I knew you understood me." Ce gave a smile and but resumed his sulking. "Aww, this doesn't help me at all! How am I going to get her to talk to me?" He moaned but I was already walking away. _

_I understand why I felt so uneasy around the Lady Xiao Qiao._

"But I just can't bring myself to go through with it. I don't want to get married. I'd rather die."

_That was no exaggeration. I can now see the despair reflected in her eyes as she live through one day while counting down the days to go. I see her wish for death as she puts on her smile for her dance; feigning happiness as her misery slowly devours her. She had proclaimed her choice. She would not outlive her husband, her friends and family. She will not become a slave for a lustful beast. She actually wanted death, because silence was more bearable than her unhappy ending._

_I cannot doubt her courage, her sincerity. She would chose to die than to live the life scripted by her Father, to live through the misery he had planned._

_I suddenly had a burning desire to prove her wrong. Her future would not be cruelly taken from her so unexpectedly. _

_I will not allow it._

_My legs started to move quickly on their own, weaving through the crowded hall, until I literally slammed into a boy in red, who immediately apologised unnecessarily._

"_M-Master Zhou Yu, are you alright? I'm sorry, I wasn't looking." _

_I nodded my head impatiently, heading back towards the doors. Lu Xun paused, unsure if he had caused my agitation. _

"_Uh, Master Zhou Yu, are you retreating back to your chambers already? But the Lady Xiao Qiao has yet to perform. They say that her skills are renowned for being one of the wonders of the lands!"_

"_Then such wonder should not be ended so prematurely." I muttered, sliding through the heavily framed doors, leaving my poor student completely bewildered._

_I started running, down the corridors, around the corners, then through a familiar set of doors._

_My bed chambers._

_Not even stopping to catch my breath, I grabbed my zither from my desk and doubled back down the corridors, my footsteps echoing off the stone tiles._

_. . ._

_**Xiao Qiao's Perspective**_

_As the pleasantries of the banquet came to a close, my fingers started to become tingly from nerves. The chatter started to die down, and the crowd started to look at me expectantly. Finally, Father cleared his throat loudly and signalled me towards my zither with a rude tilt of his head._

_I nodded my head obediently and walked, dread filling every footstep. This was the part of life I hated the most. I hate putting myself on display as my potential 'buyers' scrutinised every part of me. I hate trying to please them, knowing that my actions would push me more towards the ending I did not desire, but fearing Father's disappointment if I failed._

_As I sat down on my seat, my fingers resting on the cool strings, ready, Father came forward and bowed._

"_It is with great pleasure, my lords that I present to you the youngest daughter from the House of Qiao, Xiao Qiao." _

_Sensing my cue to start playing, my fingers automatically began to move on their own. My eyes darted across to my sister, who stared back with such sadness in her eyes. I gave her a weak smile, which she did not return. Feeling my mind wander, I began looking for the person whose gaze had helped inspired my song._

_The Lord Zhou Yu._

_I wanted to tell him that he was right about my future. That it was indeed very troubling and that I was spiralling towards regret. I wanted to thank him for showing me the impact my unhappiness has on my sister. I wanted to tell him that he was not like me, that his future was in his hands and that he had the ability to leave the path of regret. I wanted to thank him for wanting to help me. But I also wanted to tell him that I did not deserved his help, that he should be in no way bonded to help me, as I have caused him nothing but pain. I wanted to tell him that I have made up my mind, that my life was mine to end, that I will get my happy ending to my unhappy path I was made to choose._

_Finally, I wanted to tell him that sadness and loneliness did not suit him, that he deserved far more than the bleakness that surrounds him. I wanted him to finally find happiness in the world created by their vision. _

_I closed my eyes, feeling my song come to a close. The final note, the final moment of sadness before the comforting silence._

_I let out the breath I didn't know I was holding and gently released my fingers from the strings, still vibrating with the lingering resonance. Here come the appraisals. I could already see some of the Generals moving towards Father, no doubt to begin their negotiations. Today, I expect Father to seal my fate. He will announce who will obtain ownership over me, whether it was the Wu or Wei Lords. Regardless, it was all the same._

_I could feel movement in front of me. No doubt my impatient father was already making his way towards the Lord Sun Jian, and I could see his greedy smile already etched onto his face through my closed eyes._

_And then, just as I opened my eyes, the last echoes of the final note became louder, softly bridging into a wonderful new melody. It was so similar, yet so…different to my song. It was as if the notes had come to life. It was such a pleasing, inspiring tune; it painted a lovely picture of laughter and hope. Like seeing the light at the end of the tunnel, I felt excitement tingle in my fingertips. I struggled to believe that a zither had also created such masterpiece. I stared down at my zither in shock. I did not know that I was capable of producing such tune. _

_No, this definitely isn't me. Whoever was playing the zither had superior skills and above all, passion that flowed with the melody. That was something I could not emulate. I looked toward my sister, thankful for her rescue again, but her expression of shock told me that she too, was amazed by the music. _

_Who is it?_

_I could hear the crowd start to whisper to each other, and Father's oily voice was one of the more prominent sounds and annoyance bubbled up immediately. How dare they not appreciate such perfection right in front of them! _

_The door creaked open and I gave an audible gasp._

_Dressed in red silk robes with the zither tucked into the crook of his arm, the Lord Zhou Yu calmly walked towards me, the beautiful melody not stopping even once. Sitting down next to me, he spoke over the soft melody._

"_My Lords, I hope you do not oppose to my performing a duet with the Lady Xiao Qiao in celebration of the triumphant return of our General Huang Gai."_

_I looked to Father immediately, wondering if he had set this up, but he looked as perplexed as I did. And very angry too, I guess. No, this was definitely not planned._

"_My dear Zhou!" The Lord Sun Jian gave a relieved laugh, moving away from Father. "I have not heard you play in such a long time! Please, we would be honoured to hear your performance."_

"_I hope that it is alright with you, my Lady?" The Lord Zhou Yu asked, ignoring my Father's silent protests._

_I sneaked a sideways glance towards Father and immediately caught his cold glare of denial. Taking that as a firm 'no', I turned back towards the Lord Zhou Yu, but I couldn't force myself to look him in the eye._

"_I…I am grateful for such opportunity, my Lord, but I am afraid that I do not deserve such honour."_

_Father came forward, the anger unconcealed in his eyes. "Indeed, my lord. My daughter is but an amateur. She does not deserve such privilege. Now, my Lord Sun Jian, I would like a few words with you, if you don't mind. Da Qiao, Xiao Qiao, you are to return to your chambers." His hand rested on my shoulder, his thumb digging into my bone as a reminder._

"_Hey Pops, I would also like to hear Zhou and the Lady Xiao Qiao play a piece, as we have yet to show our honourable guest the fine music of Jiang Dong. Let us not forget that the General Huang Gai's success is the main cause for celebration. Our private businesses could wait until later." The Lord Sun Ce interrupted, a little arrogant smile playing on his lips. _

_All eyes turned to Father immediately; half hopeful and fearful of his retaliation. As if on cue, the vein above Father's eyebrows began to twitch as his nostrils flared. _

"_Very well. If my daughter consents to such performance." Father replied, barely moving his lips._

_Me?_

"_I…I…"_

_All eyes turned to me and I felt a sharp pain from Father's hold on my shoulder. _

"_Xiao Qiao," Father called dramatically, as if he was on stage, "the Lord Zhou Yu wishes to perform a duet with you. Such is a once in a life time opportunity. However, I do not believe that you are worthy of such honour for in comparison to the Lord Zhou Yu, your skills will only shame the Qiao name. So, dear daughter, what do you chose?" Father asked, his eyes drilling into mine, and I did not need the pressure from his hand leaving bruises on my shoulder to understand that message._

"_I…I..."_

_The tension was so thick in the air I could hardly breathe. Knowing that the whole banquet hall was waiting on my decision, I tried to clear my voice, only to hear it trail off pathetically. _

"_I do not deserve such honour, my lords." I whispered, feeling the last words burning a mark on my lips._

_Father swooped in, victorious. He knew that I would submit to him. He knew he could bend me to his will. He knew I had all but given up my will._

"_I do apologise, my Lords, but even my daughter does not deem herself worthy. Perhaps you could honour us with your performance another day? Now, my Lord Sun Jian, let us go to a more private location."_

_Father had barely finished his sentence and a swarm of Generals made their way towards the Lord Sun Jian, and I heard my name, and Da's, a few times._

_As I walked past the Lord Zhou Yu, I found I had a million things I wanted to say to him. _

_His song really opened my eyes. The same instrument that could produce a sorrowful tune such as mine could also produce such a joyous tune. Wasn't Da right that the Heavens that had gifted me with such a bleak outlook could also give so much life, so much hope?_

"_L-lord Zhou Yu…I…I…"_

_I swallowed loudly twice, my head darting down on reflex. "I…I'm sorry." I mumbled, before walking briskly out of the room._

* * *

Another uber long chapter! Hmm…I wasn't sure if the last part should come in this chapter, or the next, but decided to keep as is…Hope that was the right choice (or you'll see me spiralling in regret and despair next to my darling characters!)

Last thought (Promise!). Yukage has found new love in the tots-awesome-how-can-you-not-love-them-couple of Eureka SeveN….Dominic and Anemone! Can anyone recommend a good fic? Or, does anyone want a collaboration with yours truly! Goodies up for grabs!


	16. Beyond Said & Unsaid Words

Phew, another long chapter :)

Many thanks to:

**Ame-chan, Crazypanda, tornin, Megan, lani, Yue** and **Branch** for all your support :)

This ultra long chapter is dedicated to my most favourite author, **Branchscamper**. I hope to be able to write like you someday :)

**Disclaimer: **Still don't own.

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_**Beyond Said and Unsaid Words**_

_**Xiao Qiao's Perspective**_

_Our marriage negotiations continued the whole night, on and on, like a never ending requiem; my sense of dread only adding on to the wait. Da, sick of sitting hopelessly in our chambers had even snuck out to do some snooping with Shang (as Shang knew of a nice little alcove near the Lord Sun Jian's study which she would use to eavesdrop when she pleased). When Da came back, I was slightly relieved that Father had not made any final decisions about our futures but she seemed odd. Sad and disappointed almost. That is most unusual as Da keeps her emotions in check and I cannot even think of a time when she has shown that particular emotion. Perhaps she was too fearful to linger at the hideout too long as Ling Mei, our maid, was starting to grow suspicious of her absence. _

_Afterwards, Da and I were summoned back to the dining chambers for the remainder of the celebrations. Honestly, these nobles really love an excuse to put up their feet and let down their hair. But I could not make myself go. I just don't know what to say to the Lord Zhou Yu if I saw him again. Da, too distracted by whatever was going on in her head to interrogate me, left me in peace. I laid on my bed with my eyes open, watching as the sun slowly glided through the sky, listening as the chatters slowly died out outside as night took over. _

_I sighed, listening to the echo fade in the distance. I felt so low about myself I could not even summon the energy to light the candles in my bed chamber, the moon providing only meagre amounts of light._

_The Lord Zhou Yu._

_He rescued me. Again. It was the third time. I really did not like this feeling that I owed him something._

_But after everything I wanted to say, 'I'm sorry' was the only two words I could manage. I couldn't even manage 'thank you'._

_I truly am very very pathetic._

_I hated my weakness. Why couldn't I say what was on my mind? Why couldn't I say that I disliked my life and that I wanted no part of the future that did not belong to me? That Da and I had minds of our own, and we would not be played like a toy for a man for the rest of our lives? _

_Or something really simple, something that would not impact on anyone or anything. Something that is completely irrelevant in father's games to riches. Something that I genuinely wanted from the bottom of my heart: that I wished to be able to play my zither alongside...him..._

_I thought about how disappointed the Lord Zhou Yu must have been at me. He had set up an opportunity for me to do something of my own free will – to delay my own judgement, at the price of putting himself out there, and I didn't even have the courage to take it or acknowledge it?_

_Wouldn't everyone be better off if I did not exist?_

_Da. She would no longer have to act as my defender; she would no longer have to keep hurting herself for my sake. She could live happily with the Lord Sun Ce and not worry about what I might do to him next. I cannot trust myself around the man, cannot stop my reflexes of wanting to hurt him, to stop him from hurting Da, as I know he would. _

_The Lord Zhou Yu. He really was such an honourable man. This supposed bond he has towards me – this desire to set me free – it is really causing him too much trouble. And I know I wasn't worth the trouble._

_So I am better off alone._

_Quietly climbing out of my bed, careful not to disturb Da as she slept in the joining room (though I have not heard her come in yet); I wandered mindlessly onto the gardens, grateful of my solitude. The colourless garden in the moonlight was a clear reflection of my heart. _

_Full of nothing._

_Void of everything. _

_And spiralling towards regret._

_It was regret not as I know it._

_This time regret hurt. To the point it was nearly overwhelming._

_I felt a strange tingle in my hands. I wanted to release the words in my mind. I have to. As I stopped by the cherry blossom tree, the scattering petals falling like snow, I drew out my fans and started twirling around. I know that if he was ever close to me, I would never be able to get the words out of my mouth. Instead, I want to translate them into a dance. This is the first time I wanted to dance for someone._

_For my saviour. For the one who is dead inside, like me. _

_They say that although flowers are the most beautiful in its fleeting moments its beauty is tainted with sadness. If that is the case, then I would like to bloom before him. After seeing him smile, I will take away all the sorrow, leaving him only with all that my beauty has to offer, and scatter my petals alone. Lord Zhou Yu, I will release you from your duty, from the bond you feel towards me, from the burden that is me. _

_Then, my debt will be repaid, and Da and I will no longer owe you anything._

_**. . .**_

_**Zhou Yu's Perspective **_

_I stifled a yawn. It really has been a long day. Who would have thought that doing nothing could be so exhausting! The whole day I have tried, and tried again to get her out of my mind. The obligation I felt to release her plagued me to the extent I couldn't think about anything else. I have never failed a mission before, never abandoned my duty before. Ce didn't give up on me so I must not give up on her, either. But it would seem that the objective is harder to achieve than I have envisioned. She must really fear me, for she did not want to even share a song with me. _

_Well fear could be one interpretation of her refusal, but I think the more likely scenario is 'hate'._

_On self-reflection I pieced together our previous encounters:_

_I saw her before the Lord Sun Jian's birthday banquet in the gardens. She was visibly uncomfortable and left soon after – this could be one sign of her dislike. I saw her in the hallway after, and she struck me with her hair pin after I tried to help her up – the dislike appears to be plausible. Despite all of the above I initiate an impromptu with her, which she promptly denied. The dislike is almost confirmed now. In her defence the common element of all three encounters is my offering my assistance without her needing or wanting it. Was this a gentleman display of etiquettes or my being obtrusive?_

_Judging by her reactions it is definitely the latter._

_After the initial celebration banquet, the general consensus in the palace was that work was not a priority, as I have found out by turning up to our afternoon meeting and being greeted by an empty meeting room. The whole palace is still buzzing about the talks that the Master Qiao Xuan and our Lord Sun Jian was having. There were gossips of which Generals had approached the Lord Sun Jian to ask about 'offers' they were willing to make to claim ownership of the Northern beauties. Those talks would always confuse me. I would have thought that the Qiao sisters were people and not a commodity, and therefore wasn't 'matrimony' a more appropriate term than negotiations and bargains? _

_But strangely enough of all the people that did make an offer, one candidate sure kept his silence, which I was not expecting at all. Ce sat rigid by his father for the duration of the meeting, his brows locked together, his face set in a glower, his eyes shooting daggers that clearly spelt death to any that dared to mention the Lady Da Qiao's name. He kept quiet the whole time, and I wasn't the only person who was surprised._

_The Master Qiao Xuan stroked his beard impatiently, his greedy beady eyes fixed on Ce and my Lord Sun Jian. _

"_My lords, have my daughters offended you in any way?" He suggested, feigning surprise._

"_Oh no, dear friend, your daughters are most gracious guests of our Kingdom." My Lord Sun Jian replied in genuine surprise._

"_Then would you not agree that they would make good companions for those cold dreary winter days? My Da Qiao especially. She was born and bred to be a good wife."_

_Ce's teeth snapped together loudly and my Lord Sun Jian looked uncomfortable at once, knowing his son was about to snap any moment. "I have the highest regard for the Lady Da Qiao, dear friend. But I do believe that we need to seek her opinions first. This is a big decision for her, after all." He hedged, looking away, avoiding both the speculating irises of the greedy merchant, and the emerald eyes of fury from his son._

"_That should not be a problem. Rest assured that she is pure, of good stock, and above all, very obedient; a prize worthy of great lords such as yourself. I am her father; I have the duty to ensure her future for her. She will appreciate what ever choice I make on her behalf. There is nothing wrong in trying to ensure she has the best future, is there?"_

_I blinked at this logic. The man sure has his way with words if he could put a positive spin on these arranged marriages._

"_Only that it is a form of rape, to bind her to someone that she may have no feelings for, without her full knowledge and consent. Do you not care? Or is that irrelevant to you?" Ce finally spat out, his voice losing the monotone he tried so hard to maintain._

_This raised the merchant's eyebrows and made my heart skip a couple of beats. From the corner of my eye I can see that my Lord Sun Jian's eyes are in danger of falling out of their sockets. _

"_I do believe that I have my daughter's best interest at heart, thank you very much, Lord Sun Ce."_

"_What, by selling her off to men she hardly knows? By judging her suitors based on gold, prestige, and not caring about their histories, their personality, and I don't know, their age? Half the men here are at least twice her age! My father is nearly three times!"_

"_I do believe it is inappropriate to judge a man simply by his age, my Lord." The Master Qiao Xuan gave a small chuckle, though his eyes showed no warmth. "On the contrary, age is a good measure of success, as the achievement of many milestones is indeed noble." _

"_And when did success of the suitors correlated to the happiness of the woman? Da has the right to decide for herself." Ce continued and I blinked twice at his omission of her title. Such little gesture somehow seemed so intimate. She was just 'Da' to him now – a real person, and not a Lady from a noble house._

_But this did not go down with the Master Qiao Xuan. _

"_Well perhaps you too, Lord Sun Ce, would like to make an offer? You seemed to be very concerned of my daughter, the Honourable Lady Da Qiao. I am sure you will find the 'happiness' that you claim is not correlated to success."_

_Yes, the flaring nostrils, the sharp glares. The man was furious. It truly was fascinating to watch a man balancing his greed with his obvious hatred for my Lord. Ah, gold and prospects can truly bend some to their will._

"_Me? You want me to bid for her hand in marriage to give her happiness as if she was a commodity at the markets?"_

"_With all due respect," yet rudeness were evident in his every word, "but, I do not believe my daughter is common at all. Surely a successful man such as you can see what a prize my Da Qiao is."_

_Ce gave snarl. "I will not do something so despicable, and so degrading!"_

"_Ce!" My Lord Sun Jian interposed, shocked as I was at Ce's outburst._

"_Degrading? I feel insulted, Lord Sun Ce. I believe my daughter's happiness is of utmost importance. I will not have you demean my intentions, thank you very much."_

"_But her happiness doesn't matter to you does it? You care not who you sell her to, my Father, me, Quan, just as long as she beds whoever will give you the most benefits!"_

"_Ce!"_

_But Ce wasn't done with his lecture. Even with his father's stern glares holding him back, Ce managed to shrug it off and lunged at the noble scholar, his face red with fury._

"_So just what is she to you? She seems no more than your tool, your property that you can sell, a whore that you can use, commodity that you can trade!"_

"_That is enough, Ce!" My Lord roared, and I quickly slammed both my hands on Ce's shoulders, restraining his movements._

_Both parties backed off, breathing heavily and sending glares across the room._

"_I am sorry, dear friend. My son, Ce, can be quite reckless at times, but he was out of line..."_

"_I apologise, my lords." The Master Qiao Xuan interrupted, his words like venom, his eyes reduced to mere slits at his rage. A cobra ready to strike, I thought to myself, speechless by the resemblance. "But I did not know that my daughters and I were so degrading in your eyes. We will take our leave. We will not stoop so low as to rely on reluctant charity when we have other alternatives to consider."_

_And we all know what, or rather, 'who' those alternatives referred to. The Master Qiao Xuan had too many ties with formidable friends who we would prefer not to upset at this stage._

"_Oh no, my friend. Please accept our hospitality a little longer. There are many books in your collection I wished to speak to you regarding the ancestry of my people." My lord hurried with the first excuse he could think of to calm our guest, sending Ce pointed looks at the same time. Ce stubbornly refused any sort of correspondence so I decided to step in._

"_Master Qiao Xuan, our sincerest apologies for my lord's misstatement, but I do believe it is unwise for you to begin your journey now. There are unrests developing all throughout the regions, with numerous talks of uprisings against the Lord Dong Zhuo. The most of the Northern territories are in siege."_

_He gave no acknowledgement of my words, or indeed of the fact that I had spoken. I continued nevertheless, trying to gauge his reactions, knowing he will understand my message. _

"_The roads are not safe, particularly so if you care for your daughters' wellbeing. I imagine Luoyang would be at the centre of the unrests, no?"_

_The Master Qiao Xuan froze, and I know that he understood immediately. The man was, after all, a scholar. He was not thick. If there are unrests in capital of the North, then his 'powerful ally', the Lord Cao Cao, may be too preoccupied for his attentions. Who will protect him if the Tigers of Jiang Dong bare their fangs?_

"_Yes, Master Qiao Xuan, it is much safer for you in Jianye, away from the main revolts." My lord prompted again, signalling for the Master Qiao Xuan to sit down._

_Sensing that the confrontation was over, the other hopeful Generals started the bidding process again._

"_Master Qiao Xuan, I would like to make a proposition regarding the Lady Xiao Qiao..."_

_Hearing her name sent a shock to pulse through my mind. The girl I tried to help. The girl who did not want my help. Perhaps today was the day her father would give her away, today her unhappy melody will finally come to its sorrowful ending. The way she had intended it to end. The way things are supposed to be. That was something I did not want to stay for._

"_My lords, I do believe there are other matters that require my urgent attentions. My sincerest apologies."_

_Walking out of the Lord Sun Jian's study after coming up with a very vague excuse to leave, I was surprised to find Ce still sitting stubbornly on his chair, though his expression had not changed much. It would seem he at least had more courage than me. He was determined to see through the end of the meeting, to see for himself, the future scripted for the Lady Da Qiao._

_Best of luck, dear friend._

_I found that as soon as I stepped out of the stuffy room, I felt a lot better. Perhaps all the depressing talks were starting to take its toll on me. Another surprise I bumped into came in the form of the Lady Da Qiao and Shang Xiang outside my lord's study._

"_Zhou! What are you doing here?" Shang Xiang asked while the Lady Da Qiao curtsied. _

"_Princess Shang Xiang, Lady Da Qiao." I returned the bow. "I have other matters to attend to so I excused myself from the meeting."_

"_What? You're working again Zhou?" Shang Xiang squealed while rolling her eyes. "Come on! No one is working today! You should be back in the dining chambers with everyone else! Apparently Huang Gai brought us some delicious plum wine from Shu and I'll bet they're yummy to the max!"_

"_No thank you, Princess. I truly have urgent matters to attend." _

_It took me a moment to realise that the Lady Da Qiao was also present, and that she has not spoken a word to me at all._

_Perhaps both sisters did not appreciate my impromptu?_

"_Lady Da Qiao..." I began._

_She looked as if I had snapped her out of a day dream. Blinking rapidly as if trying to find her scattered thoughts, the Lady Da Qiao's lips diplomatically curved into a strained smile._

"_Lord Zhou Yu. I haven't had the chance to thank you properly for your performance today. It was truly an eye opener. I have never heard one play the zither so beautifully. Xiao and I have a lot to learn when…when we return to Suiyang." She commented, a flash of sadness shone in her eyes at the end of her sentence. _

_Shang Xiang, having not notice the subtle difference in the Lady Da Qiao's speech squealed loudly again, this time tugging my arm as well. "Yeah, Zhou! I really wanted to hear you play today! Well, Ce's birthday is coming up, so maybe we could all do something together then? We have three on zithers and I heard that Xun's got musical talent as well. Alright! Put him down for the er hu. I'll just have to dig out my old flute and we'll be ready! We can create a symphony of sorts!"_

_The Lady Da Qiao and I exchanged a small smile, and I hurried on, wanting to change the subject. Her old flute did not disappear out of its own free will. Trust me. By now, I would not be surprised to see it snapped in half and floating down the Yellow River, courtesy of Ce and Sun Quan, who were the unfortunate audiences for her last performance._

"_I do not deserve your thanks, Lady Da Qiao. I had intended it to defer the meeting but it would seem that I was unsuccessful."_

_She gave me a smile of understanding. "Lord Zhou Yu, I do apologise for my sister's refusal. I am sure that she would have been delighted to, under different circumstances."_

_Really?_

_I was under the impression that she feared me. Feared and 'hated' was probably a more appropriate word._

"_No need to apologise, my lady. My actions were indeed, a bit rash. After all, we have not been acquainted, properly."_

"_I agree my lord. You will find that my sister is actually a very pleasurable person to converse with, believe it or not."_

"_Yeah, Zhou. I mean, I get along with Xiao just fine. It all depends on what you say. She's not as shy when you know what to say." Shang sniggered, giggling something about 'ask Tong'._

_The Lady Da Qiao smiled at Shang Xiang's comments and I felt another unfamiliar jab at my heart. _

_Like hell I would stoop so low as to ask Ling Tong, a mere pup in my eyes, advice on women._

"_Xiao enjoys riddles, my lord. Perhaps you would find that is a topic that she would willingly partake in." The Lady Da Qiao mused._

"_Yeah, that and bear baiting! The girl can't wait until I take her out!" Shang burst into laughter._

_The Lady Da Qiao gave a nervous laugh, and I understood that she too, was a bit apprehensive about the whole bear baiting idea._

_Well, that got me thinking. It was a new lead. But I couldn't figure out how I could utilise my newly acquired intelligence. It's not as if I could just rock up to her and start guessing riddles with her! She'd avoid me like the plague!_

_So there we have it. I spent the reminder of the day in my study, pondering, pondering and more pondering. I really shamed my name as the State Strategist for after four solid hours of pondering, I was no closer than starting a conversation with the Lady Xiao Qiao than Ce was at writing poetry._

_To top it off, I didn't even make progress at all with my plan for the upcoming campaign at Hu Luo Gate. At the rate I'm going, the troops aren't going to have any rations to eat, and that definitely will not go down well with my godfathers._

_I packed up the various maps and scrolls from my desk and gathered them all in my arms, a little regretful that I also let my godfathers down by not joining in their celebration. I might as well take these back to my room and have one last look before I go to sleep, I cannot allow myself to be so irresponsible. _

_As I walked out of the study, I saw that tonight, again, the moon had stayed awake with me, lighting my way back to my room. I was a few steps from my door when I saw a movement in the gardens. The cherry blossoms were scattering. It is what they say, that the scattering blossoms were truly a sight to remember, but that wasn't what had caught my attention._

_It was her. _

_She was dancing._

_The moonlight reflected off her tear stained cheeks as she continued to twirl around, her hair out of its customary pony tail, falling down her back. The strained, controlled look that usually rested on her features had all but vanished, exposing an intoxicating vulnerability. I have never seen anything so beautiful; never seen her so irresistible. Without her makeup and accessories, without her father's controlling stares, she was just Xiao Qiao, just a girl. _

_But above all, she was crying. I have never seen her cry before, the tears flowing freely down her cheeks, like she has lost the will even to uphold her defences. I couldn't take my eyes off her. I was intrigued by her. I wanted to know everything about her._

_Tell me, what are you waiting for?  
_

_What do you hope for?  
_

_I finally saw the other side of her courage, the other side of her, the her that she has kept hidden from everyone. She truly was a flower in its fleeting moment. Would she disappear like the fallen petals? I didn't even want to waste time blinking. _

_I have been mistaken. It wasn't a duty, or an obligation I felt towards her. I've never been so wide of the mark in my life! _

_It was love. Plain and simple. _

_I 'wanted' to be with her, I 'looked forward' to seeing her. It's almost laughable. My whole life has been incomplete, and here, right in front of me this whole time was what was missing, and I was making a million different excuses, my mind in absolute denial! My mind gave an urgent flutter at the time I wasted. I fought the urge to sprint towards her, to scoop her up into my arms, to yell it to the whole world. _

_But it would seem that I did have an ounce of rationality tonight. Let's not scare her now, Zhou. Remember, you're not very high in her books right now._

_I made a silent vow to myself. Today would be the last wasted day. Even if I could be with her for the rest of my life, I still would not be content. I would trade my soul just to be able to be with her for an extra day, an extra hour, even an extra second. This is the girl I have been looking for my whole life. This is the girl who I will love for the rest of my life. But I don't expect her love in return. As long as I can see her smile, I'll die a happy man._

_I thought back to what was bothering me the previous nights. The problem still remains: how will I get her to smile? My realisation of love hasn't simplified things. On the contrary, it made the attainment of my goal imperative. _

_I repressed a sigh._

_I feel another sleepless night coming._

**. . .**

**Da Qiao's Perspective**

_Hiding in the little alcove hidden just behind the Lord Sun Jian's study, the initial adrenaline from what Shang Xiang calls 'our secret mission' started to wear off as I could make out the low droning voices in the room._

"_Master Qiao Xuan, your daughter, the Lady Da Qiao has caught my son's eye ever since her first dance in the Lord Sun Jian's birthday banquet. My son is the third unit captain of the Lord Sun Jian's imperial forces…"_

"_Master Qiao Xuan! My son is absolutely smitten with the Lady Da Qiao. He has been the head medic for the Sun family for years…"_

_I linked my hands tightly in front in prayer, hoping that I would not hear Father's delighted voice which would seal my fate. Surprisingly, I was also longing to hear one voice._

_Why hasn't he…he said anything?_

"_My lords, have my daughters offended you in any way?" Father asked, and I recognised the cold rage that underpinned his false surprised tone. I crept closer to the alcove, for once grateful of Father's over-zealous and obvious moves. Every fibre of my body shook in anticipation as I pricked up my ears to hear his response._

"_Ow! Da! You stood on my toe!" Shang Xiang muttered loudly, her voice straight by my ears. I didn't realise I had crept so close to her._

_I moved half a millimetre away, my ears still pressed against the cold wall._

"_And I don't want to suggest anything, but you're kinda too close to me, and I'm kinda getting creeped out!"_

"_Sorry!" I hissed, starting to feel the frustration heat up._

"…_My Da Qiao especially. She was born and bred to be a good wife." My Father commented and I felt my heart jump. _

_Father has never openly given me such a compliment before – I have never heard him say anything that resembled a praise before! He has always told me that the number one rule of a businessman is to never let the other party know just how keen you are for the trade. Your desire was your weakness, he said. So for him to offer me to the Wu Lords was indeed unusual. _

_I chewed on my lips nervously. My Father had just expressed his approval. All I needed was…the Lord Sun Ce's agreement._

_Still he remained silent, and I could hear his father's low voice in strained awkwardness. My teeth were starting to grind together in tension._

_Why….why hasn't he said anything? Why hasn't he asked my father for my hand in marriage? I am fairly sure Father would agree, or at least hear him out. That is further than what most had accomplished._

"_Only that it is a form of rape, to bind her to someone that she may have no feelings for, without her full knowledge and consent. Do you not care? Or is that irrelevant to you?" _

_My heart skipped a few beats on hearing his voice, my hands flew up to my mouth to drown out my gasp._

"_Go Ce! You tell him bro!" Shang Xiang whispered excitedly beside me._

_Tears were starting to gather in my eyes._

_He cared for me._

_He truly cared for me._

_All the misery. All the unhappiness. Every tear I shed. Every sigh I breathed. They were all worth it. I have found the one for me and only me._

_Heavens above, I have never had something I wanted so much._

_Please. Please let this wish come true._

"_Well perhaps you too, Lord Sun Ce, would like to make an offer? You seemed to be very concerned of my daughter, the Honourable Lady Da Qiao. I am sure you will find the 'happiness' that you claim is not correlated to success."_

_Thump. Thump._

_It is going to happen anytime now. Father has revealed his deck._

"_Me? You want me to bid for her hand in marriage to give her happiness as if she was a commodity at the markets?"_

_Thump. Thump._

_Please say yes._

_God, please say yes._

_I braced myself for the pinnacle of my life, the most happiness I could ever experience. I braced myself for his love, brighter than a million candles, warmer than the sun in the sky. It truly was all I needed. _

_But the higher you climb the harder you fall, and I admit I did not expect the fall I was facing._

"_I will not do something so despicable, and so degrading!" I heard him yell at my father._

_Despicable? Degrading?_

_His voice, every tone was seeped with disgust. My body felt cold. I disgusted him._

_But he was not finished. He wanted to make sure I pummelled to the ground._

"… _She seems no more than your tool, your property that you can sell, a whore that you can use, commodity that you can trade!"_

_A tool. A whore._

_That was all I was to him._

_A despicable, degrading, lowly pawn in Father's mad game to riches._

_Oh, how right he was._

_I was born to serve men, from my father to my future husband. I was raised to be liked, to sell my sex. I smiled for men's affection, danced for their attention. I really was no more than a prostitute. But for him to tell me just how low I was hurts like a thousand needles._

"_Da? Are you alright?"_

_I was leaning against the Princess Shang Xiang again, and I know that she understood immediately that the entire joking atmosphere was over. She pulled me into an embrace and led me out of the stuffy alcove._

_Sunlight hit my face, but I could not feel the warmth from anything._

_All that he said to me. All that he promised me._

_How could I have not seen this coming?_

_Surprise?_

_I was surprised?_

"_Please…please don't say anything to anyone about this, Princess." I managed to mumble through my lips, my mind joining up relevant words left in my shattered vocabulary._

"_Da, I don't think Ce meant it that way… I think he truly cares about you…"_

"_Princess, I should return to my chambers now, if you'll excuse me." I didn't mean it to come out as a snap. This was not Shang Xiang's fault. _

_It was mine._

_I was used. I was played as a fool. _

_When he came to my chambers to ask if I was alright with my lodgings._

_When we walked through the gardens together, reminiscing about the past._

_When he held me in his arms, his lips touching mine gently._

_All that he has said to me._

_All his gentle caresses. _

_His sweet kiss._

_All lies._

_There must be another ending to this._

_They can't all be lies, can they?_

_Da Qiao. You are going to pick up the pieces and turn this around. You will make him regret this, the way he has made you regret this. He truly was a very capable warlord. He had made me fall in love with him, and he had played his trump card. He had found and exploited my weakness._

_I had lost._

_. . ._

_**Sun Ce's Perspective**_

_Da was acting strange and 'strange' was definitely an understatement._

_Perhaps this was a weird contagious reaction that was spreading through the sisters and my best friend, Zhou?_

_She sat in the middle of the banquet hall, beautiful as usual, surrounded by men, toasting each one with a drink and a smile. _

"_I would like to make a toast," Da began, her voice ever enticing and tempting, "to the greatest tactician in disguise, the most ruthless, most endowed ruler in the world, the Lord Sun Ce."_

_She smiled, her eyes positively glaring, and lifted her cup up high and drank the contents in one big gulp. As she let out a small cough as the wine slid down her throat, her eyes fell on mine again. I'm sure in my lifetime there have been so many attempts at my life through death glares, but this was the first time I've ever felt it._

_And boy did it hurt a lot._

"_I expect this Kingdom would go far, my lords, for even I could not have foreseen how ambitious our young lord is. For that, I think I shall give another toast."_

"_Da…Lady Da Qiao." I tried to find the words. "I don't want you to toast me. Please, I think you've had enough."_

_She smiled at me again, and I really preferred she didn't. I just wasn't used to that cold edge that spelt murder._

"_If my lordship do not deem myself worthy of such honour, I do apologise."_

_My loss was obviously someone else's gain, and the men swooped in like vultures. "Lady Da Qiao! I wouldn't mind it if you toasted me…"_

"_Ahem."_

_I cannot think of a time where I am thankful to see my arch nemesis, Da's father. He regarded the gathering men with a cold glance, and me no more than a sneer. I see, so he is one to hold grudges, and our little 'confrontation' before was not so easily forgotten. That's fine with me._

"_That is enough, Da Qiao. You are to return to your bed chambers with Ling Mei now." His glance did not soften at all at his clearly unwell daughter, and he dismissed her with a curt nod of his head._

_Da, however, sank into her knees in an overly elaborate curtsey._

"_Yes, at your command, Father." She bowed, her voice dripping with sarcasm._

_I watched her leave before I made my move, leaving a few steps between us to put out the wandering eyes and deadly gossips. Stumbling slightly down the hallway, I watched as her maid servant gingerly placed both her hands on her stumbling mistress._

_This isn't right._

_We have to talk._

"_Da…"_

_A sharp jab at my shoulders stopped me and I whipped around, annoyed at the intrusion, annoyed at Da for getting herself so intoxicated, annoyed at everything!_

"_Not so fast, Ce. You realise that you have caused enough trouble for one day, right?"_

"_Shang?"_

_Flaring nostrils. Flaming irises. Hands shaped in fists, the knuckles clicking menacingly._

_Jeez! What could I have done wrong to upset all the women in the palace?_

"_Not that I want to lecture you or anything, but you're really lucky that Da is more the sufferer inside type. If you had said all those things about me, you'd already be dead."_

"_Said what things…? Shang, I need to talk to Da." I tried to push past my lively little sister, while my brain tried to remember the last time I talked to Da. What could I have done to offend her so much? However, Shang was immovable today, one of her fists cleanly knocked off my hold on her, which will definitely leave behind an unmistakeable bruise the next day._

"_Well, I think you have two problems. One, I don't think her maidservant would allow that, for her Father seems very dead set on her returning to her bedchambers without your interference."_

"_And? I don't care. No one can stop me from talking to her."_

"_Well, you haven't heard two yet." She cleared her throat. "Two, I don't think Da herself wants to see you."_

"_I…"_

"_Come on Ce! Da and I heard you. Every word. About how you thought she was only a whore, blah blah blah."_

_I was so sure when I said it I didn't sound like a whiny bitch. That must be Shang Xiang's own addition._

"_That's not what I meant."_

"_Really? Then what does 'no more than your tool, your property that you can sell, a whore that you can use, commodity that you can trade!' mean then? Is it a coincidence that both Da and I came up to the same interpretation?"_

"_No…what I meant was that…she…to me she's more than that."_

_Shang raised her eyebrows in blatant and unadulterated doubt._

_Did I really sound that bad today?_

"_Well, she should be anyway…" I mumbled pathetically at Shang's scrutiny. Really Sun Ce! What have you done! "I don't deserve her…"_

_Shang's lips turned upwards and I took this to be a good sign. Well, if insulting myself does the trick then…_

"_I'm such an idiot!"_

_Shang's lips are now a distinctive 'U' shape. "Now that's what I want to hear." _

_Spurred by Shang's encouragement, I yelled at the top of my lungs._

"_And I'm not going to stop until I can prove to the world that she's mine!"_

"_Finally! This story is cooking!" Shang twirled in excitement, clearly smug about her hand in all this. "So, you still have the first problem to deal with: her nosy maid."_

_Her maid? I cannot believe Shang is stopping me from seeing Da over something so trivial._

"_Well, I was thinking I could use my authority to order her away." I said dismissively, still bent on trying to get around Shang. Again, she has proven to be immovable._

"_You could, but that would just bring more problems don't you think? Her Father would definitely want to know on what basis you are abusing your authority."_

"_You have a better idea?"_

"_**You**__ can thank me later."_

_Shang Xiang threw me a smile, walked towards the garden pond, and next I heard a big splash._

"_Argh! Help! Somebody come quick!"_

_My sister screeched at the top of her lungs. My blood froze, not knowing what I should do next. _

"_Someone! Anyone! Hey you there! Hello!"_

_The nosy maid in question stopped dead in her tracks, frightened. I managed to hide myself down the hallway as she looked towards Shang's flailing form. _

"_Princess Shang Xiang, are you alright?"_

"_Come quick! I've fallen into the pond!"_

_Well, that much was obvious. I really need to teach Shang the art of subtlety._

_I waited with strained patience, watching as the petrified maid gently leaned her mistress against the wall before running off to aid my sister._

_I hurried from my hideout, my legs rocketing off towards my destination: my drunken sleeping beauty._

"_Da…" I murmured._

_Da's cheeks were tinted with a pale red – the effects of alcohol highlighting her inherent blush on her cheeks. She looked vulnerable, so adorable that it should not be legal. She did not appear to hear me, so I decided to help her to her chambers and scooped her into my hold. She was a lot lighter than I could have imagined, her slight form fitting perfectly in my arms._

_She opened her eyes slowly, her gaze as cold as steel._

"_You've mixed me up with someone who will fall apart without you, my lord. I am not that weak, that lowly, or that degrading."_

_And her voice was no warmer than her eyes._

"_And please put me down, my lord. I have morals, and I do not want to be seen by others in this degrading state."_

"_Not a chance. You're drunk."I mixed in my smirk, the one that used to make Da crack a smile, in for good measure, hoping it wouldn't backfire on me._

_But backfire it sure did._

"_Put me down this instant!" She screeched, popping a few of my ear drums in the process._

"_Da, please listen to me. What you heard before, it wasn't what I meant… I truly care for you, Da."_

"_Stop it! Stop feeding me lies! Do you take me as a fool? Do you think that love has made me blind? So blind that I can't see the lies right in front of me?" She struggled in my arms with surprising force. "You are to leave me, Sun Ce, and you are to leave me right this instant!"_

_I have never heard her address me by just my name intentionally, and I didn't think it would be in blind fury. And I've never ever been commanded my whole life, especially by a woman of all people. Boy, was she drunk or what._

"_Do you know what you've done to me? I can't go back! I can't go back to my life anymore! You have ruined me, and for that, I hate you." She screamed._

"_And I can't go back to my life anymore either! I can't imagine my life without you Da, but I can't imagine my life with you either because I have never been so happy, been with someone so wonderful my whole life!"_

_I know I was wrong for being angry at her. I was the one to blame. But still. How could she doubt me so easily? How could she write off everything that we have with just one misunderstanding?_

_She looked taken back at my outburst, her lips pursed tightly and she turned her head away from me. Taking that as her 'approval' for my delivery service, I continued to march down the corridor. We'd reached her chambers then, and I was relieved to not find her nosy maid waiting for her mistress. Well, if there is one thing Shang is good at is causing commotions. I hesitated for a moment before I gently nudged open the door to Da's bed chambers, wondering whether or not I should ask the little Qiao for help. Her door was shut and her bed chambers sounded empty but then again, I really need to sort this misunderstanding out with Da, and I'm sure we would both appreciate the privacy. Moreover, if the elegant Lady Da Qiao can turn so uncharacteristically nasty with a couple of glasses of wine and a bad temper, I shudder to think what the moody-and-possible-split-personality-Xiao-Qiao (considering her tendency for smiles one hour, and frowns the next) would do to me…_

_Yikes. I definitely have better odds dealing with one Qiao at a time._

_Standing by the threshold, it suddenly occurred to me that this would be my first time entering Da's private bed chambers. Just the thought was making me blush. Trips to ladies' private chambers always led to one thing…_

_Now was definitely time for Zhou's unimpressed and disappointed "Come now Ce. Your brain. Use it." that has been so ingrained into my mind from growing up together. _

_Really! Da's private bed chambers. Alone. With her. _

_Perhaps my luck is about to change…?_

_I gulped._

"_When you're done surveying the scenery, I would appreciate you putting me down." Da's cold voice came, her glare attached to the last word like shadow. "And also do not think that you have permission to be here. I am unlike those other ladies your lordship so frequently visits."_

_That comment made up my mind for me, and I remembered why I was angry at her, and vice versa. I strolled right through the threshold, kicking the door shut behind me, and marched towards her bed. I was seriously thinking about just throwing her onto the bed, after all she deserved a little hurt from her comments, but I just couldn't so I gently pulled her bedspread over her and sat by her bed side._

_Some 'Little Conqueror' I am if I can't even conquer a woman._

_She rolled to her side, with her back to me in silent protest, and I listened as her breathing evened out slowly._

_Had she passed out from all that alcohol?_

_My heart skipped a beat._

"_Da…?"_

_I placed my hand gently on her shoulder, and I expected her to shrug it off, but she didn't._

"_You're right." She murmured after a while, and she really sounded like she was sleep talking, the way the words slurred into each other._

_I tried hard not to chuckle at how cute she looked and sounded, all the anger in me dissolved instantly. "How so?"_

"_I am that degrading. I am that lowly. Even though you have said what you thought about me, I still can't help but love you. There, I said it. I am in love with you. In love with someone that thinks I am a whore."_

_I blinked, knowing that I was no longer breathing._

_Love. She just said she loved me._

_She said it!_

_The world really is made up of sunshine and rainbows! Resisting the urge to dance down the corridors and not just scoop her into a hug, I concentrated on Zhou's 'advice' again._

"_Why….why is this happening to me?" She sobbed, then her breathing evened out again. _

_I wanted to hear more. I don't care if she is drunk, and the words are probably meaningless to her at this point. But I never could have imagined how a four letter word could make me so happy._

"_Da…?"_

_She didn't answer me, and I urged myself to not wake her again. Perhaps, tomorrow she would forget our little exchange. I hope so. I did not know that my thoughtless words had hurt her so much, and if there was a way to take back what I had said, no matter the price, I would pay it._

_But there was one question that I simply need the answer for, and I wasn't leaving until I get it._

"_Da…" I whispered quietly, hoping that my voice wouldn't send her to her furious shouting again._

_She stirred quietly, turning and pressed her face more securely into her pillow._

"_Da… Did you mean it, when you said that you hated me?"_

_I waited for her, watching as she collected her thoughts from her slumber._

"_Yes…and no." She slurred._

_I smiled. The 'no' implied that there was some room for grovelling for forgiveness. That'll be on the agenda for tomorrow._

"_Did you mean it when you said that you loved me then?"_

"_I...don't know."_

"_I see. I think I've caused you enough grief for one day. I'll come back and check up on you first thing tomorrow. Please sleep well."_

_I reached forward and grazed my lips against her forehead._

"…_but I know that…" She slurred, swallowing a big yawn. "…I know that the answer isn't a 'no'."_

* * *

WHOOT! Things are finally cooking!

Your thoughts are appreciated :)


	17. Riddles Under the Sky So Blue

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**Disclaimer: Don't own the characters, but own all the sap that is dripping from the fic.**

* * *

**Chapter 17: Riddles Under the Sky So Blue**

**Zhou Yu's Perspective**

_The birds were chirping outside my window again, their chirps were strangely melodic today. I opened my eyes; the brightness of the room was unusually welcoming. What a wonderful morning! Another typical beautiful spring morning! I looked out my open window, perplexed by the vivid blueness of the sky. _

_Has the sky always been that dazzling? _

_I scanned across my room, wondering whether a typhoon had swept through here last night. My robes lay discarded on the floor and the various maps and scrolls were scattered across my table and down to the floor, after I had hastily deposited them. Interestingly they remained untouched last night, after my midnight-wander in the gardens and my better-late-than-never realisation of love, but I felt strangely at ease._

_Must be the side effects of love._

_Yes._

_It was love._

_A mysterious love. A known unknown._

_I had fallen in love with the vulnerable girl under the cherry blossoms whom I know nothing about._

_I was under the spell of the disenchanted enchantress._

_Somewhere deep in my mind, rationality was urging me to stop, before it was too late. We were not destined for love, the two of us. The life we had led was a broken melody. She played a dangerous game with her father; she had gambled her life in the hopes of ruining her father's plots of arranging her marriage. She sought comfort from the distorted happiness her father's disappointment and anger would bring. But I was no better. I had taken many lives, even knowing that the blood I spilt would not bring my mother back; even knowing that inside I was no better than the villains that had killed her. _

_We were not ones destined for happiness. Such a beautiful thing like love cannot blossom from the two of us, only sorrow. _

_But as I watched her dance, I wanted to tell her that from the bottom of my heart, I had fallen in love with her. Even though I did not know anything about her, and quite frankly, my existence frightens her, I could tell that it was love I was feeling. This truly was love at first sight. From the first time I saw her, truly saw her, I know that this is it._

_I've never felt this way before. She was truly precious to me. I wanted to expel all the pain that was inflicted on her and banish all the darkness that had fallen on her. She was not suited to lead such a sorrowful life. She deserved all the light in the world._

_I jumped out of the bed, feeling strangely energised and taking extra care as I washed my face and smoothed out my robes. For the first time in my life, I was paranoid about my appearances. _

_Right. What is on the agenda for today? I kicked my mind into strategist mode as I went through all the opportunities I had to see her today._

_Hmm…let's see. I can try catching her before and after breakfast, that's twice. The weather is clear so maybe her and her sister would roam the gardens. That means I could see her again before my morning meeting with Lord Sun Jian, and perhaps on my way to and from training as well, if I could time it right. That's what, four times already and it's not even lunch time! Very productive if I do say so myself. Depending on my workload, I could even go to lunch today as well…that would make it five. I know I have a lot to review today, the maps and scrolls cluttered on my desk a clear reminder, but I could do that after dinner, when she is asleep. That way, I won't waste any opportunities. But I should also make contingencies. In the event that somehow none of the above worked out due to some unforeseen event, I could still see her to 'return' her glass vial and hairpin._

_Perfect._

_Taking one last look at her hairpin, which I think would bring me the luck I need; I strolled out of my room, the smile stuck on my lips like glue._

_**. . .**_

_**Xiao Qiao's Perspective **_

_It was him, again. I kept bumping into him down the corridors, in the courtyard and in the gardens. Every time I saw him my heart would race, and I would lose whatever it is that I happened to be thinking at that moment._

_I hate feeling like this._

_I longed to tell him to leave me alone, but I can't, for I might be the one who was following him. Sometimes, I would not even be sure how I ended up in front of his study, or walking towards the library, my legs moving automatically. I would catch myself just before I see him._

_You're only a duty, remember? _

_Despite my harsh reminders, I found that my eyes would wander around, looking for him. But I made a vow to myself, and I intend to keep it. I need to set him free from his supposed 'duty' towards me, from this 'bond' that is tying him to me. Then I could have nothing to do with him. And vice versa. Nothing great would result from a bond with me. Trust me. Sometimes, Father would punish Da for standing in the way while he is reprimanding me, for she never wanted to see me hurt. Little did she know that seeing her hurt was more than fifty lashes from father. The way father glares at me, his eyes gleaming with pure malice makes me wonder: was he only hurting Da because he knows how much Da means to me? Was he willing to sacrifice Da just so he could teach me a lesson? _

_But all this was moot. Rationality was fifty-five million miles away from me whenever I see the Lord Zhou Yu. He would always greet me politely. Sometimes I would mumble something back, other times, before I know it I would run off, leaving him bewildered. But he kept trying. He started coming to lunch and dinner more often, though it was still quite uncommon, but he would always linger behind after, just to speak to me. Da would always rub my hand encouragingly as I stared at the textured carpet; partly to think of a reply, but mostly to avoid looking into his eyes. Slowly, we made progress. We started to have brief conversations, down the corridors, in the courtyard, and in the gardens, where ever we bump into each other. _

_I was at first reluctant to divulge anything to him. I know that I cannot trust anyone except Da because ultimately, he will betray me. It's human nature. I'm only his 'duty'. But the more I tried to hate him, the more I craved his voice, his eyes, him. But I mustn't let him know. No one shall know. So my masked indifference conceals the waves of desire and self-hatred which laps against my mind as I know that as time goes on, I think I crave him a little more each day. _

_Just this morning I had a conversation with him, and although it was very short (and on hindsight I did not contribute much), I felt better about myself. Today was one of the rare days that I did not run away from him. I could feel my cheeks warm at the memory… _

"_Good morning, Lady Xiao Qiao. I hope your night was pleasant?"_

"…"

_I nodded my head, tilting my head so that my bangs would cover my vision and my scarlet cheeks. I tugged at the end of my ponytail impatiently. These were all the normal reactions around him._

_What is wrong with me? Why can I not speak around him?_

"_The crescent of the moon was beautiful last night. It is rare that I had the opportunity to watch it slowly rise into the night sky. These peaceful times are truly precious, aren't they?"_

"…_I agree." I managed to mumble through my lips. Well, I guess two words were better than nothing._

_He gave a smile, pausing to rearrange some of the scrolls in his arms, using this opportunity to prolong our conversation together._

_His never-ending patience was amazing, wasn't it?_

"_I wonder, how does the moon glide through the sky so gracefully? I wonder, what makes it sparkle like a thousand diamonds in the sunlight? It is almost like a mystery, a riddle."_

_Riddles? Oh I absolutely love riddles! Forgetting my unease, I thought about the possibilities._

"_But it will be a riddle with no end. There is no way to find out as the moon is too far from us. It is unreachable." I decided, surprised by the quantity of words that came out of my mouth. _

_I was about to apologise for my outburst when I saw that the curve on his lips widen, much like the crescent of the moon he was talking about, his smile suddenly making my heart pump one million times per second. _

"_Yes, but aren't those the riddles that are the most intriguing? The ones that are impossible to answer are the ones we crave answers to." He replied encouragingly, and I could tell that he too, was surprised but apparently very pleased that I gave an in-depth reply._

_Taking that as a cue for me to continue, I thought about it and shook my head. "Then it is not a riddle, as riddles imply a way to unravel it to find out the truth. The moon is more like a wonder – something that will amuse and intrigue you for all eternity and even then you are no closer to learning its secrets."_

_He thought about my answer carefully, and I felt strangely at ease, even though here I am, debating with 'the' Lord Zhou Yu, the State Strategist over something as random as the moon. _

"_I disagree. I believe that one day mankind will learn all the secrets in the world, each and every single one. Whether or not it will be in my lifetime is another matter."_

"_But new secrets will be discovered. One can never learn everything, as how can one judge when everything has been learnt? Moreover, there are infinite possibilities yet to be learnt that won't be learnt until one discovers it." I countered, and his smile deepened._

"_Indeed, there are so many wonders of the world. I can only hope that one day I would be able to learn all the secrets I uncover, especially those right in front of me."_

_Here he gave me a small smile, a smirk almost, his eyes looking straight into mine, as if he was sharing a private joke. I looked back at my feet again, trying to think of something to say to that._

_Nothing came. Absolutely nothing at all._

_Sensing that the conversation was over he shifted his weight, turning his body down the corridor and ready to leave. "Hopefully one day Ce and I would be able to create a world where everyone would have the opportunity to fully appreciate all the wonders of this world. That is my dream and wish." _

"_..."_

"_Well, I have taken up enough of your time, my Lady. I thank you for the pleasurable company." He gave a small bow and I could see his shadow dance about lithely as he began to walk down the corridor again._

_Come on Xiao, say something! Anything!_

"…_I...I want to see it too." I blurted out._

_I didn't just say that, did I? I could hear his footsteps stop abruptly, the awkward silence screaming in symphony with my pounding heart. _

_Yup, I must have. Dang-namit! I'm pretty sure 'anything' was conditional on it being something that did not make me sound like a fool! Alright, time for damage control._

"_Your dream. I'd like to see it. Some day." I stammered, feeling the level of idiocy increase as I squeezed out another word. I swear I am going to hit my palm against my forehead as soon he was gone. Perhaps silence is better around him. At least silence only made me look like a social retard, and not a retard full stop._

"_Thank you, my Lady." His tone was so kind, it really surprised me. "I'll keep that in mind."_

_And so it would seem almost normal now that we would talk when we bumped into each other, and I swear that it is almost too 'coincidental' that we kept bumping into each other at the same places at the same times. I did not think coincidences happened this often! This confirms my assumptions that I was indeed, turning up to places where I would expect to see him. This confirms my deepest fears that I wanted to see him. The more I got to talk to him, the more I grew to crave hearing his voice. Every time he had to leave to attend meetings or to tutor Lu Xun, I would find myself whispering "Please don't go yet" before I could stop myself and he would smile, as if he could hear me, his eyes conveying his reluctance to go._

_It was all like a mystery, a riddle – one that I didn't really want to know the answer to. I still don't understand the meaning of the heat rising on my cheeks when I started walking towards places where we would usually bump into each other. I still did not understand his interest in and patience with me. Was it really just because I am just like him? Was my happiness really that important to him? Was this debt something that I may be able to repay one day? Would I be able to mend his scars, scars that seventeen years could not heal? I just wanted to see him smile, genuinely, as I know he would when he was freed from all the guilt and regret._

_I felt like the clock is ticking. Tick tock tick tock. One day time will run out. He will lose his patience with me. He will no long be duty and honour bound to me. He will be released from me, either by me, or by himself. It was out of my control._

_But what would happen then? _

_We would no longer share a connection…a bond. Would he still come and see me every day? Would he still talk to me when we bump into each other? Would he still tolerate my short replies and flees of panic?_

_Sometimes I wish that I would forever walk the path of despair, just so he would forever be 'bonded' to me and be by my side. It wasn't that bad of a trade, really. Every day that I was bound by despair was another day he is bonded to help me. I was selfish, and I know it. I was willing to put my desire for him in front of his wellbeing. I want to be surrounded by his tranquil warmth, but at the same time I know I was prolonging his suffering. _

_Am I really such a sinful girl?  
_

_I sighed. This was a dilemma indeed._

_We were nearly approaching the middle of spring and already, the blossoms on the beautiful cherry and plum trees in the gardens were in full bloom. Spring should be a wonderful season; it is, after all, the season of growth, the season of life. However, it was also the season for conquests. Da says that like the animals that go into hibernation over winter, spring time awakens the natural hunting urges of the troops, and conquests provide ample opportunities to get the blood pumping again. I guess they are so desensitised to the whole ordeal that these foolish killing games are just the norm to them. Fun even. Judging from my reduced meetings with the Lord Zhou Yu, something big is about to take place. Something that sounds awfully like a campaign._

_So it came as a surprise to see him sitting casually under the beautiful cherry blossom tree, alone and free from the entourage of counsellors, generals and court ladies that usually shadowed him. Without needing the dramatic thumps in my heart as reminders, I walked over to him, trying to find an excuse to talk to him. Maybe he just wanted to ponder under the trees alone? _

"_These scattering cherry blossom petals are indeed a beautiful sight, aren't they?" He murmured so quietly that I wasn't sure if the question was directed at me. "The scattering blossoms signify the end of the tax season. If we have collected sufficient taxation revenue from our Kingdom then we ride out to war. If not, the inevitable is only delayed. Win or lose, life continues. The cherry blossoms will continue to bloom and scatter, whether I am here to witness them or not. I wonder, is that beauty, or a cold cruelty?"_

"_A cold cruelty, I think." Although it may have been a rhetorical question, I decided to answer it anyway. "These flowers are the most beautiful in their fleeting moments. It is such a high price for something with so little value. Beauty is not worth that much in my mind."_

"_I agree and disagree with you. I think true beauty is to know when to fall apart gracefully. I can only hope that I can achieve the same." _

_There it goes again, the distinctive bleak tone in his voice. _

"_Then I'll have to disagree. I hope that you will not fall, my Lord." _

_He gave me a long look, and I had to look away, for his eyes were far too entrancing._

"_Thank you, my Lady. I will remember your words today, and hope that you too, will continue to bloom and never scatter, no matter what happens, no matter what your future may bring."_

_Brushing the hair out of my eyes, I carefully sat down on the petal covered grass next to him, leaving a comfortable gap between us. _

"_You know what? I've changed my way of thinking, my lord, after hearing you play so beautifully on the zither. It never occurred to me that the strings that produced my song were also able to produce the masterpiece that you performed. There might be some truths to Da's assumptions that Eden does exist for people like us."_

_I sneaked a half a glance at him, feeling his eyes resting on mine. "I will not allow my life to end as a requiem. After all, someone very wise did tell me that resistance is a double-edged-sword when I'm fighting a losing battle. I have decided to fight my battles a different way, one that will not bring harm to my sister."_

_I could have sworn that I heard a soft chuckle, but I really can't be sure._

"_I am pleased, my lady. It is not every day that I find someone so willingly to take my advice." _

"_By the way, my experience has shown me that wallowing in regret also does not do one's life any favours. When a choice has been made, regardless of whether it was the correct choice, the next step is acceptance. It is only with acceptance can you move on and reflect on what you have done."_

"_Point taken, my lady."_

"_I'll bet it's not every day someone tried to give you advice." _

"_I'd say the odds are probably very high...in your favour." He chuckled quietly and I hid my smile as I turned to watch the petals fall. _

_I had made him chuckle! Time for a mental fist pump!_

_We talked for ages. I could tell that he enjoyed sitting underneath that tree as much as I did, his palms outstretched to catch the scattering petals. This was the first time I got to spend so much time with him, the first time I had him all to myself for the entire morning. It was truly a morning that I would forever remember. He told me that most of the Lords in the different kingdoms had formed an alliance with the Lord Yuan Shao, another acquaintance of Father, to get rid of the tyrant, Lord Dong Zhuo, whose name still sent shivers down my spine from our last encounter. Most of the Generals had already departed with the main force a few weeks back, and him and the Lord Sun Ce were due to act as reinforcements. I admit I was uncomfortable with the thought of him on the battlefield, where danger lurks around every corner. Not that I feared to see him take a life, for I heard from Shang Xiang that it is inevitable on the battlefield, I feared that he might be hurt, and I feared of how much I would miss him._

_Seeing my troubled expression, he changed the topic, urgency evident in his voice as he tried to think of something to cheer me up. He told me that they have isolated the Lord Dong Zhuo from his fearsome son, Lu Bu and had surrounded him within his stronghold at Hu Luo Gate, which was in the Henan province. That place is said to be close to the beautiful Bohai Sea, which was famous for its golden beaches and clear blue waves. _

_I looked up at the sky, absolutely intrigued. I have never thought geography could be so interesting because I never appreciated the waffly descriptions in Father's books like my sister did. I just didn't see the attraction of floral descriptions on paper. Even on the trip to the Wu Kingdom Father scarcely gave us opportunities to look at the scenery. _

"_The ocean…is it truly as blue as the sky, as vast as the open fields of __Ningxia__?"_

_He looked at me in disbelief. "Lady Xiao Qiao, have you never seen the ocean before?"_

_I shook my head, a bit embarrassed at my ignorance. Geography in my mind consists of only the dull bricks and mortar that line the walls of our manor in Suiyang. If asked I could probably recite to you every detail of every cracks on the wall, linings in the tapestry. _

"_No…to be honest, I have never left our manor let alone Suiyang before I came here. Only once, to the capital in Luoyang, to see the Lord Cao Cao…" I broke off, my body in lockdown to prevent the memory of Lord Cao Cao ruining this perfect moment._

"_Does it not intrigue you, the thought at what lies beyond the red brick walls? Is it not like a riddle, to find out the unknown?" He prompted, a smirk on his lips as if he knew that I would fall to the temptation of answering a riddle._

_Trying not to disappoint him, I thought about the answer, trying to see the world through his eyes, my head tilted to the side as I pondered._

_Nope. I just don't see the allure._

"_Not really. In the end, it is just different shades of the same colours, isn't it? Either way, it has nothing to do with me. It is only an illusion. A fantasy. Like the moon, unreachable for someone like me."_

_His brow contracted in thought, his eyes displaying a most peculiar expression of surprise mixed with anger._

"_Don't ever say that. This world cannot just be an illusion." He whispered fiercely, his tone cold._

"_I'm sorry…" I whispered, looking down at the petals on the grass. I must have said something that upset him; the blissful feeling evaporating instantly. I truly hated myself. Can I not have one conversation with him without ruining it? Can I not have one moment of happiness before it is taken from me?_

_He got up suddenly, the petals that had accumulated onto his robes falling like snowflakes. My heart sank. He was leaving. Leaving me. Leaving the sadness that I emit. Surprising me though, he slowly held out his hand towards me, his eyes warm and inviting. _

"_Nothing is unreachable in this world, so long as you have the will to reach for it. I could show you the ocean now if you would like, Lady Xiao Qiao. The __Tung Hai __is not so far from the palace."_

_I looked up, my eyes wide with shock. He wanted to take me to see the ocean! He wanted to spend time with me! From my finger tips right through to my toes, I felt a strange tingle; my heart beating as fast as a humming bird's flapping wings. I reached forward, my fingers just inches from his hand._

"_Really? You would do that…for me?"_

"_Of course, my lady. It would not do for you to visit Jianye without seeing the beautiful __Tung _

_Hai__. I would not be a good host otherwise."_

_His words were like a knife to my heart. My mind went completely blank, and I wondered if I had fainted. The sound of the rushing wind told me that I was running from him again, but I did not want to turn around to see his face._

_He was bonded to help me as a 'host'. It was the cruel proof of what I was to him. _

_A duty._

_An obligation. _

_Nothing more._

_The line was not blurred. It never was. I already know this, but it seems to hurt a thousand times more coming from his mouth, in his own words._

_**. . .**_

_**Zhou Yu's Perspective**_

_Her dress ruffled and cherry blossom petals whirled around as she ran away me._

_Again._

_What had prompted me do to that? I told myself that I must take it slow! I must have truly frightened her, all of a sudden offering to take her away from the palace. She must think that I am the same as her previous suitors: lusty, dominating, 'hungry' for her. Of course she would flee from me._

_I shook my head, disgusted at myself, disgusted at my lack of tact. All I wanted was to show her the ocean, and now, I don't think she could even stand to look at me._

_The next few days passed like a blur. We had stopped bumping into each other, or rather, she was going out of her way to avoid me. At meal times, she would not look my direction, talking only to her sister, Shang Xiang and surprisingly Ling Tong. I guess it's because he was so young, so carefree, he could connect with her in ways that I could only envy. Surprisingly a dull, bitter taste spreads through my body every time I see her talking to that boy. I've seen her smile at the boy, make jokes with the boy. I have even heard her laugh as he whispered something in her ear. It was most unlike her reactions around me, which consist of a few words and mostly running away._

_As Ce and I assembled our troops to embark to the Henan province, I glanced around at the party that was seeing us off, my eyes intent on looking for one person. She didn't come. Her sister had turned up, lingering behind the court ladies, though she only had eyes for Ce. I watched as he literally stopped what he was saying mid sentence, and walked towards her, completely oblivious to the calls by the court ladies. I watched as she stood on her tip toes and whispered something in his ears, making him blush a beet red. He then reached up and pulled off the golden royal emblem that rested on top of his head, and placing it gently in her hand. That started the waterworks as she jumped into his arms, hiding her face into his chest._

_I looked away, giving them some privacy when a lady with heavily lined eyes and lips approached me. She was supposedly infamously 'beautiful' in the palace and I think her name was Lady...no I don't recall at all. _

"_Lord Zhou Yu, I was disappointed that you did not come see me last night." She breathed, her fingers gently caressing my arm._

"_Excuse me?" I snapped, my voice coming out sharper than I had intended._

"_Well, you and the Lord Sun Ce would sometimes visit us before an upcoming battle, and we were saddened last night to find our beds empty…" she chuckled seductively, making my body shudder with disgust. Ah Ce, you and I have made some awful mistakes in the past haven't we? _

"_Excuse me, Lord Zhou Yu. May I have a word with you?" _

_Lady Da Qiao had approached us, and judging by the looks she was shooting Lady No Name, she had probably heard everything. We walked towards my horse; Ce watching us carefully as Shang Xiang hugged him good bye. The Lady Da Qiao turned around and looked me in the eye._

"_Although she did not say it, but I think my sister would have wanted to wish you a safe trip." She whispered, her expression softening at once. "And I assume you have something to give her?"_

_I deliberated. The last time we exchanged words she fled from me. Any more action I take may be detrimental to our already precarious relationship._

"_No?"_

_Her sister prompted, a coy smile on her lips, as if she could read me like an open book. Relief and contentment filled me up instantly, my hands fumbling into my robes, pulling out a letter I had written, but had not had the courage to give the Lady Xiao Qiao._

"_Lady Da Qiao, thank you very much for your message. Would you be so kind as to deliver this to the Lady Xiao Qiao?"_

_She smiled at me again, nodding her head._

"_As you wish."_

_Ce approached us and clapped me on the shoulder a lot harder than he normally would have done._

"_Come on, Zhou. Time to go." _

_As we rode out, the line of troops following us on foot, Ce and I didn't speak. He was too busy looking at the Lady Da Qiao's handkerchief that she had given him and giggling to himself like a girl._

_Although I have only just taken my first steps out of the palace, I longed for the campaign to be over. I already missed her. I looked up at the fluffy white clouds that drifted lazily about in the clear blue sky. The clouds looked so innocent, so pure; it reminded me of her, like she was by my side even as I drifted further away._

_An utterly unmanly giggle escaped my lips, and I saw Ce's head shoot my way in disgust._

_Oh no, this one will haunt me for a while…_

_**. . .**_

_**Xiao Qiao's Perpective**_

_I didn't see him again before he left for the campaign, nor did I see him off at the main gates as he rode off under the great red Wu banner. My sister came back after seeing the Lord Sun Ce off, her eyes scarlet. _

"_Xiao? I have a note for you, from the Lord Zhou Yu." She placed a tightly scrolled up piece of parchment in front of me. "I think you really ought to read it, Xiao."_

_My fingers fumbled with the twine that sealed the letter as my heart started to race. Da gave a small laugh at my impatience as she quietly took out her comb, running it soothingly through my hair, letting me read my note in private. I didn't know what to expect, didn't know what I wanted to see. Of course I have received love letters before, but they were all from our previous suitors who were so lusty, so repulsive, that Da and I enjoyed watching them burn in the hearth. Finally, I managed to untie that annoying bit of string, my fingers gently smoothing the paper out. He had the most elegant handwriting I have ever seen, the characters like the beautiful embroidery on his robes._

'_Lady Xiao Qiao,_

_My apologies for upsetting you so. The beautiful company must have prompted me to act so rashly, which I deeply regret. I have enjoyed your company immensely and I hope that you could find it in your heart to forgive my inappropriate behaviour. _

_According to your sister, the Lady Da Qiao, you are very fond of riddles. During the Lantern Festival, the townspeople like to put up riddles on the willow tree by the riverbanks. I hope they will be to your liking._

_Take care.'_

_I read and re-read his short note over and over again, a smile creeping on my lips. I don't know why his words made me feel so happy. It was not a remotely 'romantic' note, certainly not if you compared it to the letters that Da was receiving daily from the Lord Sun Ce. But it was dear to me, because it meant that for that short moment while he wrote it, he was thinking about me, and that was enough._

_**. . .**_

_**Da Qiao's Perspective**_

_Thirty days and thirty nights have passed since I last saw my Lord Sun Ce's lovely face. I sometimes wonder as I am sitting in my bedroom holding on to the emblem he had given me, whether we were looking at the same moon that shone so brightly in the night sky. I had thought about writing him letters numerous times. There were just so many things I wanted to know._

_Had the battle progressed well? _

_Was he in good health?_

_Was everyone else doing well?  
_

_When was he coming back?_

_Did he…miss me at all?_

_But every time my courage would fail. He was the Lord Sun Ce, the Heir of the Wu Kingdom, the oldest son of Sun Jian and a very experienced warlord for one so young. This was his duty. It was his destiny to achieve great things. Somehow, reading trivial letters from me doesn't quite warrant his attentions in my mind._

_Getting up, I decided to pack up my belongings. Unrests were cropping up onto the agendas again and Xiao and I were no longer the star attractions of the palace anymore. There is no longer our reason for being here. Moreover, since the Lords have left the palace, Father no longer had to keep up this polite pretence, and he was making his intention of leaving very clear. Although none of the offers made by the Generals have caught Father's interest, Father had sold plenty of manuscripts from his collection so the gold from this particular sale should keep him in a pleasant mood until at least past the monsoon season which should mean a very relaxing few months in Suiyang for Xiao and me. I have already heard Father speaking to some of the servants to ready our carriages for departure as soon as the royal party returns. It would not be long until our departure._

_I wonder, what will become of me in the future? I had always thought that it was the norm for me to wed my suitor and live a restricted and quiet life. Growing up, the biggest excitement each year was watching the fireworks for New Years with Xiao from our bedroom window. Xiao and I would be so excited we would talk of it days before the actual night and would even sneak up onto the rooftops to get a better look once we are sure that Father was asleep. _

_Since I have met the Lord Sun Ce however, life started to have a sugary sweet tinge. Every day I had something to look forward to – whether it was the letters he would write me, the gifts I would receive or even just strolls through the gardens. How ever 'little' these gestures were, they had meant the whole world to me. I would sometimes stay awake the whole night just reminiscing the moments we had shared together, wondering how my perfect my life was when he was around._

_But would I sink back into my routine as easily as I have done for the past eighteen years? Would my acceptance, my obedience really buy me my happiness?_

_I sighed, turning my attention to my stock pile of letters that he had written to me before his departure, knowing that the fading ink on the parchment would never fail to lift my mood._

"_Hey Da! Mind if we come in?"_

_The twin soprano voices of Xiao and Shang Xiang sounded outside my door and I quickly tucked my precious letters under my pillow. The Lord Sun Ce would probably not appreciate all the attention from his younger sister._

"_You're welcomed."_

"_Guess what Da? It's the Lantern Festival soon!" Shang Xiang announced, as if it was common knowledge._

_I tilted my head. I don't think I have ever never heard of such event before, but for some reason the name rings a bell. Xiao gave a bright smile, sitting herself on my bed._

"_Shang says it's a big event down in the township where everyone celebrates the first full moon of the New Year. She says that there will be music, dances and a lot of yummy food!"_

_Xiao was almost breathless with excitement, a faint blush appearing on her pastel cheeks. _

"_And of course…the lanterns on the willow trees." She giggled, looking away from us._

_I smiled. Of course. The letter from the Lord Zhou Yu._

_Xiao looked up, her eyes oddly bright. "Can we please go, Da? Please?"_

_A small frown found its way on my lips. If Father would not allow us to wander needlessly around back home, surely, he would not let us here. The only reason we were allowed into the township a couple of months before was to become acquainted with the Lords Sun Ce and Sun Quan in the hopes that they would express an interest in either of us. I hated being the person to rain on Xiao's parade but it is best not to get her hopes up. False hope can be fatal at times._

"_We'll see, Xiao…" I got up and started putting my clothes into neat piles, trying to avoid eye contact and talk without breaking my voice. "It is best if I talk to Father about this first." _

_Xiao nodded her head in understanding, her disappointment and acceptance truly saddening. There have been too many incidences where I had to deny Xiao something she really wanted. Every time it was over something very small: an occasional sugared plum, a walk outside – things that other girls her age would have been given without a second thought. Every time it nearly reduced me to tears. But Xiao has never complained. She has always taken it in stride._

"_Why would your father not let you go? It's one of the biggest festivals in the season! Plus, my father and the others are expected back on that day. Now that's a cause for a celebration! Hope he brought me back something nice!" Shang Xiang shrugged, plopping on to the bed next to Xiao._

_The robes I was folding slipped from my fingers and Xiao spun around and looked at Shang Xiang, her eyes wide._

"_Really? That soon?" _

_Shang Xiang looked up in surprise at our identical response. "Yeah, Quan got a message from Father yesterday. Look, I'll tell you what, I'll go talk to your Father." Shang Xiang decided, jumping off my bed and dusting herself off. "Missing the Lantern Festival is like missing my birthday celebration – unforgivable! Imagine coming all the way to Jianye and not tasting the plum cakes!"_

"_Please wait…" I began, my hand reaching towards Shang Xiang's retreating figure._

_I know that I should stop her. I know that I shouldn't be smiling so brightly as the Wu Princess skipped out of my room, muttering to herself about how one can be so deprived, ready to give my father a piece of her mind. A part of me wondered what my father's facial expression would look like as the Princess Shang Xiang lectured him about women's rights. But for the most part, I rejoiced at the thought that I would be able to go down and enjoy the festival. I could see the Lord Sun Ce's Kingdom during the peak of the New Year celebrations. I may even be able to walk around and look the stalls with him, taste the different kind of food that I have never tasted before…_

_That thought alone proved to be too inviting. I let my hand drop to my sides and felt Xiao's fingers slide through mine._

"_Good luck, Shang." She whispered as we exchanged nervous smiles, eager and dreading to hear how Father would respond._

_. . ._

_**Xiao Qiao's Perspective**_

_The town was bustling with excitement as the Lantern Festival approaches. There was truly a cause for celebration as word has it that the coalition formed by the wealthy Lords of the land, under the leadership of the Lord Yuan Shao, had rid the world of the tyrant, Lord Dong Zhuo. This news was received with delight as apparently that awful pig had raided his province through taxes and levies. After his fall from grace, his reserves were to be divided between the victors. That means that our victorious Lords were due to return soon with their winnings which would most likely mean a relaxed tax season, which everyone was joyous about. The townspeople had already readied the banners and the flowers for the celebration parade to welcome back the Lords. The upbeat atmosphere of the Lantern Festival was proof of the people's happiness._

_I was very excited. I have never been to a festival before, never seen so many happy faces._

_I don't know how but Shang had easily managed to convince Father to let us go, although his expression was as if he was forced to eat a sour plum. I really admired Shang. She had the kind of charisma that could always brighten my day. She would have the most entertaining ideas for fun. It was thanks to her that Tong and I became close friends and because she and the Lord Zhou Yu had grown up together, I feel that I was starting to find out more about him, piece together little pieces of what I know about him, like pieces of a jigsaw puzzle._

_I was smiling the whole day as Da, Shang Xiang, the boy who I talked to at the banquet – Ling Tong, Shang Xiang's 'friend' Lu Xun and I made our way down the crowded streets to enjoy the festive season together. At first, I did not think that I would like Lu Xun, as he was one of the reasons my meetings with Lord Zhou Yu would always be cut short. But when I saw him, his courteous greetings, his refined speech, they all reminded me of the Lord Zhou Yu, and it made me realise just how much I had missed the strategist. I craved to see him again, craved the short conversations we would have. _

_How strange._

_Anyway, Lu Xun seemed very protective of Shang Xiang, even though she introduced him as her 'little bro'. He was almost like an 'older brother', no…more. They would walk closely together, her hand tucked into the crook of his arm, their footsteps synchronised. She would laugh more when he was around, and had even gotten his schedule memorised so she would always know when he didn't have lessons. I have to say that I, too, had secretly memorised it as well, so I could know when I may be able to see the Lord Zhou Yu. Tonight, Shang Xiang was in a wonderful mood, pulling on Lu Xun's arm as we visited one stall after another, him holding on to all her purchases, her making jokes as they laughed together._

_The food was wonderful and all the dancing in the court yard had made Da and I absolutely giddy. We had never known that dancing could be so fun! As the gong in the temple sounded and the townsfolk cheered as the parade of Generals marched through the main gates, I felt a surge of glee. _

_He was back! _

_I longed to rush to the front of the crowds, to see him. Straight chocolate brown hair. Beautiful dark eyes. Sweet, poisonous voice. I cannot believe how I have memorised these details, how many times I had fantasised seeing him again. But I stopped myself just in time, stopping mid stride. _

_Who am I to him? _

_His friend?_

_His family?_

_His…_

_No._

_I was nobody to him._

_From behind the crowds, I watched as the Lord Sun Ce spot my sister. Jumping off his horse at once and after handing his reins to a nearby page boy, he ran to her side. I saw my sister's eyes fill up with tears as they stood there for a while, their eyes lost in each others. I lingered behind the crowds with Ling Tong after Shang Xiang rushed off to see her father, Lu Xun following her of course. _

_The two of us continued walking where we saw bright spots lighting the willow trees that lined the riverbank. My curiosity piqued and I edged closer. Hanging from the draping leaves were little candle lit lanterns, each with a riddle written on the paper cover. My excitement grew as I gathered the long fabric of my dress, breaking into a run, Ling Tong laughing behind me. I have not seen so many riddles in my life! It was truly fascinating! Carefully, I plucked a nearby lantern from the branch, showing Ling Tong who had followed my quick pace, panting slightly. _

"'_I wear a red hat atop my head, and I steadily diminish by the hour. What am I?'" I read aloud, turning the lantern to read all the characters._

_Tong scratched his chin idly in thought. "Umm…Lu Xun! I swear he is getting shorter every year!" He laughed as I giggled slightly._

"_No Tong, it's a candle I think. The 'red cap' is the flame that burns on the wick. But I think Lu Xun is equally plausible." I added, chuckling again._

"_Next one." Tong reached for another lantern as I hung the other one back on its branch. "'I am as cool as the river on the inside, but hot as the summer day on the outside.' Hmmm…I know! This one must be Shang Xiang! She's feisty yet heartless when she's angry!" He laughed again as I giggled at his weird logic._

"_Wrong again, Tong. I think the correct answer is a watermelon. See how they've hinted it by using the words 'summer day'. You usually eat watermelons during summer to cool off."_

"_Fine. Try this one then." He plucked another lantern from the branch, his eyes squinting slightly to read the characters. "'When there is a need for me, I get in the way. Use me when you don't need me.' Ha. This one is definitely Gan Ning. Though I don't really think he gets in the way when we need him, he gets in the way full stop."_

_Again, another attack on Gan Ning. Tong must really hate the man. Although I can understand his hatred, as Gan Ning did kill his father, I can't help but think that there must be another way out of this spiral of repugnance. After all, Da did say that all life was precious. There must be a way to end this cycle of violence without it involving Gan Ning's head on a pike. _

"_Tong, it's a lid, I think. But enough about that, could I talk to you about Gan Ning?" I asked carefully, turning to look at him._

_He looked away. "Hmm…you're really good at this, Xiao. I can see why you like riddles so much! It's fun when you know what you're doing!" His carefree smile was blurred a little by his rage at the sound of Gan Ning's name, but he continued as if I hadn't spoken. "Bet you can't guess this one though: 'I start off with four legs, then two, and finally three'. Man! It's like a weird cross-bred animal! I sure like to see one of those!" He sniggered._

"_I bet I can, Tong!" I puffed out my chest, determined to prove him wrong, forgetting the unease before. "It's people! See, when we are born we crawl around, hence the four legs. When we grow up, we can walk on two legs. When we are older, we sometimes walk with a cane and that makes three legs!" I laughed. _

_I really love riddles; they could take my mind off everything…well nearly. I started to wonder whether I would enjoy these more if it was him by my side instead… No doubt he would guess the answers to these riddles easily and we would laugh together, looking at how beautiful the candle … I shook my head impatiently as my mind wondered dangerously off track._

"_Xiao, did you know that you're amazing?"_

_Tong suddenly turned uncharacteristically serious, his eyes burning into mine, his hands reaching forward and resting on my shoulders, and I was stunned with surprise. Tong had very nice hazel eyes, shades lighter than mine. He was very sweet and had always made me laugh when he, Shang Xiang and I hung out. I was "Xiao Qiao" to him. Not a conquest, not prey that he could win through negotiations with my father. He understood me completely, understood my humour, and understood why I cannot bring myself to approach other people. I am sure that he has feelings for me; in his eyes I was more than an obligation that he was bonded to help. In his eyes, I was somebody._

_But why wasn't I feeling anything? Why am I not giddy? Why isn't my heart beating fast, my palms sweat with anticipation? Why is that all I could see was the Lord Zhou Yu's face in my mind? Why is that all I could dream about, all I could see was the man who thought of me as a duty? Why is that all I could think about was how different Tong's eyes were from his?_

_Taking a deep breath, I shrugged myself out of Tong's hold, feigning interest in the lanterns. "H-hey Tong, these ones seem pretty interesting." My voice shook slightly from the awkwardness, my finger randomly pointing to a lantern. Tong jolted a bit, as if I had snapped him out of a day dream._

"_S-sure, Xiao."_

_Turning red with embarrassment, he turned and we looked at the different lanterns in silence, both too embarrassed to speak. _

_As I looked around, a beautifully decorated lantern with blue ink caught my eye. The writing was so…elegant. Surely, it can't be! It looked like Lord Zhou Yu's writing! _

_Hands shaking slightly, I reached up and untied the lantern, my heart beating quickly in my chest._

'_Leaving you, my heart is torn,_

_Counting down the days, my soul mourns._

_To the one more dazzling than the breaking dawn,_

_To the one for whom my hopes are reborn:_

_My beautiful rose without a thorn.' _

_Tears flooded my eyes immediately; my heart felt like it could burst at the seams, unable to contain the overflowing emotions. Tong turned around, looking at the lantern in my hand. He read the passage aloud, his head tilted in confusion._

"_This one sounds more like a poem than a riddle, Xiao. Do you have any idea what it is?"_

_Blinking my tears away and swallowing the sob in my throat, I looked at Tong as impassively as I could. "No idea, Tong. This one has me stumped."_

_Tong's head fell back as he laughed. "Ha ha, so there is a riddle that could stump our Lady Xiao Qiao." He looked up at the moon above our heads, his legs walking back up the riverbank. "We should get back to the palace, Xiao, it's getting quite late."_

_Looking at the small lantern in my hand, my mind lost within the blue ink, I felt a smile creep onto my lips. "Coming, Tong."_

_It was only until after I bade goodnight to Tong that I realised that the lantern, my lantern, was no longer hanging on the draping willow branches, but clutched tightly against my chest. _

_Skipping towards my room, I hoped it would be him that I dreamed of tonight. But as I came across the familiar courtyard, I found adrenaline pumping in my veins. I was strangely awake, and I longed for one thing._

_I wanted to see him. Just one glimpse would do._

_Smiling slightly to myself, I skipped towards his chambers, the lantern still tightly clutched in my hand._

* * *

**_Phew another looooooooooong chapter, which really should be split into 2 but...heeeey._**

**_As always, I hope you've enjoyed it~~_**


	18. Sweet Confessions & Bittersweet Misunder

_**AN: Help! I'm drowning in sugary sapness!**_

* * *

_**Chapter 18: Sweet Confessions & Bittersweet Misunderstandings**_

_**Da Qiao's Perspective**_

_An impressive echo of the gong from the temple. Three great big blasts of trumpets. The roaring cheers of the crowds. The bright red and gold banners in the lantern filled night sky._

_Our Lords have returned!_

_My feet were moving on their own. I was no longer standing with Xiao, Shang Xiang, Ling Tong and Lu Xun. As I murmured my apologies to the crowds as I rushed to the front, I felt my rational voice scream in my head. _

_The Lord Sun Ce had just returned from his trip from the Henan province. And he wasn't there on vacation. It was a campaign. War almost. Exhaustion would be an understatement! Would I really be the person he wanted to see the most? Wouldn't a busty courtesan be more welcoming for an exhausted Lord?_

_But a month ago he made an unofficial promise to me._

_He had promised to be my Ce, mine and mine alone, if I was his 'Da'. I would be his wife, his companion. The only person on his mind. I would be a person in my own right. He gave me his emblem, the royal sign of his nobility, in exchange for one word: for me to call him 'Ce'._

_He is my Ce, and not someone else's._

_I almost laughed at the irrational wave of jealousy. Really, Da Qiao! Yes, he did give you his emblem from atop his head, but that was a month ago. A whole month! He probably does not even remember me, let alone my name! Perhaps I did have too much of the wine-baked-pears!_

_Still, my eyes lingered towards the soldiers on foot and Generals on nicely dressed horses. I could almost name all the proud, smiling faces. At last, I saw the shiny red armour on a magnificent black stallion, the Wu emblem embroidered on red silk draped around…him. He had not changed a bit. Emerald green eyes, short hair falling from the headdress, the tidy goatee on his chin. Sure, he looked tired but his eyes, they were bright with pride and happiness. I couldn't help but smile at the sight of him. He looked around the crowds, his eyes longing. Perhaps he was looking for his favourite courtesan? I looked away. That I did not want to see. Just as I was turning away, I could feel his eyes rest on mine and I stood rooted on the spot. He gave me a small smile and jumped off his horse, his eyes never leaving mine. Closing our distance in big strides, I almost gasped as he stood in front of me, close enough for my fingers to reach forward and touch his arms and chest._

_I don't know how long we stood there, our onyx and emerald eyes lost within each others. I could feel tears gather in my eyes at just how content I was to be around him again. Slowly his palm reached forward and rested on my cheek and I gave a sharp intake of breath._

_His warmth. How I have missed it._

"_Lord Sun Ce. I'm glad you're back safe and sound." My voice shook and broke as the tears started to stream now. I could vaguely hear the scandalised gasps of the court ladies and the civilian's whispers and gossips._

_He smiled brightly at my comment, taking me into his arms, surprising me. "It has only been thirty three days, twenty hours and thirty seven minutes and I'm 'Lord Sun Ce' again, Da?"_

_My heart pounded hard in my chest and I was sure he was able to feel it. He remembered me! He remembered all the words we had exchanged!_

"_Welcome home, Ce." I whispered, tightening my hold around his waist._

_He gave a laugh, and it was the most wonderful sound I have ever heard my whole life. I could feel his hot breath down my neck and I closed my eyes to savour the warmth. "You were right, Da. Your handkerchief did bring me the luck I needed but it did have one problem..."_

_I tensed at his words. Had I caused him trouble? "My sincerest apologies, my lord." I mumbled, wondering how I could make it up to him._

"_It made me miss you that much more, Da."_

"_My lord…"_

"_So how will you make it up to me?" He chuckled, pulling away, examining the blush on my cheeks._

"_I…I…" I cleared my throat, trying to look away from his eyes but his hands gently held my face in place. "I could accompany you to enjoy the festive season, if you would permit it, my lord."_

_He laughed at the formality of my words. "That would be fantastic, Da." _

_Gently taking my hand in his, he led me down the busy street, ignoring the crowds who had shamelessly craned their necks to look at us. Turning away briefly to buy a large serving of sticky plum rice cakes, the Lord Sun Ce led us to a stool by the lantern displays in the main courtyard. As my eyes darted down, I saw that we only had one spoon. This did not seem to concern him at all and he scooped up a liberal helping onto the spoon, placing it in front of my mouth._

"_These are really delicious, Da. The highlight of Jianye!"_

_I wanted to say that I disagreed; that the real highlight of Jianye was standing right in front of me. But my coherent thoughts scattered as the Lord Sun Ce's face bloomed into the most handsome smile as I slowly swallowed the cake, my mind concentrating entirely on how to eat with grace while he was feeding me. Although under different circumstances the sticky plum rice cake would have been the most delicious treat I have ever tasted, I swear I was losing my sense of taste with the Lord Sun Ce being so close to me. _

"_Did you like it?" He asked nervously, assessing my reactions._

_I nodded my head vigorously, trying to swallow the cake without choking and acting like a total fool. His smile deepened as he scooped a large helping into his mouth, his smile all of a sudden childish but no less charming. My heart gave two dramatic thumps._

_We had shared a spoon. That's like an indirect kiss._

"_So, how was it back at the palace? I hope Shang Xiang didn't annoy you too much with her silly antics! Seriously, I think I spoil her too much!" He asked casually, insisting on feeding me again, not that I minded at the very least._

_After I had made sure that I had swallowed every bit of rice and had licked off the bits of cake off my teeth subtly with my tongue, I cleared my throat. _

"_It has been lovely, thank you very much. You've been too gracious to us, my lord. But I have to say that you really did not do me many favours when you gave me your royal emblem, my lord."_

_He looked up immediately, confusion and hurt colouring his eyes. I smiled, wanting to tease him a bit more, and took out the golden emblem that he had given me and placing it in my outstretched palms._

"_It served as a constant reminder of how long the days had become and how devastatingly boring without the palace is without you."_

_I focused on the indents on the gold, trying hard not to think of my lord's reaction to my forward behaviour. His breathing was quickening and I heard the distinctive clunk as our spoon had fallen onto the ground._

"_Would I be able to make it up to you, Da?" He asked, snaking his arm around my waist, one hand resting gently on my cheek. I was starting to lose my thought processes and feeling to my legs._

"_Perhaps…" _

_I didn't mean for it to come out as a whimper, or for my hands to wind around his neck like that. And I really did not mean to kiss him the way I did. Perhaps the thirty three days I have spent away from the Lord Sun Ce was just too much for me to handle. Perhaps I did have too much of the wine baked pears. Either way, I know it was no excuse for my unchaste behaviour. But in the middle of the crowded courtyard, under the moonlight and lantern lit night sky, in the arms of the Heir of the Wu Kingdom, I felt content. I felt happy. I felt safe._

_For the first time in my life._

_**. . . **_

_**Zhou Yu's Perspective**_

_The chattering crowds, the laughter from our victorious troops, the delicious smell of the food from the stalls all faded away as I saw the most beautiful thing in the world: the Lady Xiao Qiao's face as she ran towards the lantern covered willow trees. Ever since I met her, I have seen so many 'the most beautiful' things and she happened to be in all of them. I could sit here all day and recite the examples, but that would merely be stating the obvious. Like her flawless beauty in day and night, her smiles and her frowns. When she walks and the wind and her hair sway in rhythm, or as she gently tucks a strand of her hair behind her ear, absentmindedly and unintentionally making me want her even more, if that was even possible. My heart pounded as I watched her pick up the different lanterns, smiling at the riddles. She was so close to my lantern, her fingers brushing across it as she picked up the one beside it._

_I prayed that she would pick mine, but dreaded her reactions. What if she does not see it at all? What if she did not understand, or did not want to understand my blatant declarations of love? What if, after she read it, she was even more repulsed by my desperate attempts to make her happy? _

_I really should have thought this through…maybe I should have consulted Ce, or the Lady Da Qiao first. I groaned, feeling more pathetic about myself as I hid behind the willow trees on the other side of the riverbank, the draping leafs providing a perfect hideout as I watched her expression. The boy, Ling Tong, was with her, and his replies (although I can't hear them) were making her laugh, her eyes shining with amusement. That was something that I have tried so hard to accomplish, yet failing miserably every time. _

_Maybe that was it. I just wasn't 'fun' to be around; I wasn't someone that she felt comfortable with. She was so innocent, so perfect, that my blood stained hands did not deserve her. What she needed was someone who could protect her from harm; someone who could make sure her father does not hurt her again. I could do that. From the day her father had struck her at my lord's birthday banquet, it was something that I had vowed to do. But what she wanted was someone who could make her happy and somehow I don't think I was qualified to fulfil that particular requirement. That goal was out of my reach. _

_Unable to summon the will to leave, I looked at the scene again, at the picture perfect couple marvelling at the different lanterns, wondering how sadistic I have become, wanting to inflict so much pain on to myself. Abruptly, the atmosphere had changed. The boy was suddenly serious; both his arms gripped her shoulders as he looked intently in her eyes. She didn't turn away, or flinch as she does whenever I touch her. She remained still, her eyes searching his, a small smile playing on her lips in quiet anticipation._

_There was nothing to misunderstand about the scene. He was a boy. She was a girl. Sparks are bound to fly, like the fireflies that danced around them. This is what she wants, and he is what she needs._

_Just a boy who can keep her safe, and make her happy. Not a man whom she fears trying to protect her, no a pretender trying to convince her that his hands are clean._

_This deadly conclusion brought another groan to escape my lips. I would give anything to be able to turn back time and remain seventeen, her age, if that would make her at ease around me. _

_I turned away, walking towards the palace alone. A thousand different voices argued in my head: some urging me to go back and win her back, others willing me to go back and dish out a backhand to the boy who so clearly deserves it. But I cannot do that. The look on her face would kill any amount of satisfaction that I would feel as my hand contacted with his face. I must accept this turn of events. I had vowed that I did not expect her love in return, that seeing her happy would suffice. Wasn't he doing what I have been trying so hard to do? Shouldn't I be thanking him instead?_

_I shook my head. _

_Over my dead body! Though I have been known as 'courteous' and 'gallant' even, I think even I would need at least a couple of days before I could thank the boy who took her away from me._

_The palace, which I have called 'home' for the last seventeen years, has never looked so disheartening as I dragged my legs across the courtyard. I longed to talk to Ce, to vent somehow. But then again, Ce was probably with the Lady Da Qiao, whom was all he talked about for the entire duration of the campaign. I'm sure that if he wasn't our young Lord, and the heir to the throne, a lot of the accompanying Generals would have volunteered to murder him out of pure envy. I've never seen Ce act like this before, in love before. During the trip I've seen him blush like a school boy when he would sniff, yes sniff, the Lady Da Qiao's handkerchief in his tent, then falling onto his bed giggling, his legs kicking about in mid-air. That was not the reaction I was so used to whenever Ce was around women. I remembered that our godfather would literally drag us to the brothel with him, for his fear that we were not interested in women but in each other. Ce would always wear the look of absolute boredom that was not unlike the same look he wore whenever the court debated how the local tariff should be set as the women poured him drinks, massaging his broad shoulders. We would always joke about it afterwards. He would memorise new attack moves and I would recite the Art of War in my mind as the women's lips moved down our bodies. Men and women were truly curious creatures._

_Seeing the familiar hallways leading to my chambers, my dark mood lifted slightly. I will last through tonight then I could talk to Ce in the morning. No big deal, I have been through worse._

_A figure waited outside my door and I felt a wave of excitement. My footsteps quickened, all the traces of my depression vanishing immediately._

_It can't be…could it?_

_Dark hair hung loosely past her shoulders, overwhelming intent of seduction evident at the low drape of her robes, exposing a thin laced camisole._

_It wasn't her._

_It was only Lady No Name._

_The Lady Xiao Qiao was a wonder. Subtly flirtatious, unconsciously inviting, innocent like the bashful moon. She was above such crude gestures. Her elegance, her charm was something that was not imitable. _

_Ouch, the disappointment was so crushing that I felt the impulse to vomit._

"_Lord Zhou Yu, I am so glad you came back safe and sound." She breathed in the same seductive tone as before, intensifying my impulse to throw up. Turning slightly, she shifted so that her bare shoulder was visible from her loosely done up gown. "I was thinking, since the moon is so beautiful and the night is so dull, let us have a festival of our own…" _

_I tried to shudder away from her touch, every fibre of my body feeling as if it was on fire. My body protested loudly at the contamination as she ran a well-manicured finger down my chest, but my mind protested louder at my body's betrayal, at the uncontainable flood of desire. I hated myself. Hated my inability to leave this contamination. Hated the part of me that wanted the woman. But the image of the Lady Xiao Qiao and the boy under the lantern lit willow trees, her hair swaying slightly as the light gently reflected off her dazed eyes took over. I could only imagine what would happen afterwards._

_They would kiss, no doubt, and her lips would be as sweet and soft as I had imagined it to be. He alone, would have the privilege, the honour, of touching her soft lips. _

_Feeling a foreign rage, one so forceful that it nearly drove me into bloodlust, I grabbed Lady No Name roughly by the hand took her into my arms, my lips down her neck, the whole time imagining the girl with the soft brown hair in my mind. Lady No name gave a little moan of pleasure as she threaded her hands into my hair. Sinking deeper into my own vindictive pleasure, I tasted more of this unnamed woman, my own self-disgust spiralling upwards._

"_Please don't go yet…"_

_I could almost hear the Lady Xiao Qiao's whisper as my mind wandered back to our brief conversations, the conversations I replayed in my mind as the lonely nights ravaged me in Henan. Her lovely face as she looked up at the blue sky, her hands catching the falling petals came floating back. _

_My mind cleared instantly. This was not the girl I want in my arms. I could not even think about betraying her, even if she was only in my memories. Forcefully, I grabbed Lady No Name by the shoulders and held her at arm's length, disentangling myself from her hold in an instant._

"_I am sorry, my Lady. But I do not seek your company tonight." I snarled, speaking through my teeth, betrayal of my body evident as my arms shook with lust and desire._

"_Really?" She raised an eyebrow, running her hands down my arm, "But your lips don't say no. So, which should I believe in?" She knew she had me right where she wanted me._

"_Good night my lady, I hope you have a pleasant evening. Alone." I added, my muscles protesting loudly, edging towards my chambers before I could betray myself more._

"_But my Lord Zhou Yu, who will keep you company tonight? You look awfully tense…" She inched closer, opening her robes…_

_I gulped._

"_I will, of course!"_

_A small figure darted forward, a small lantern hanging off her left wrist, pink patches on her cheeks. _

_It was the Lady Xiao Qiao!_

_She was just as I had remembered her. Light brown hair, rose bud lips. Although, I have to admit, her eyes alone could positively set something alit with their intense anger._

"_Lord Zhou Yu, could I have a word with you in private?" She turned towards me, her eyes still burning with fury. Without waiting for my reply, she grabbed my hand and pulled me to a run, leaving Lady No Name stunned in front of my room. Perhaps I was just so surprised that someone so small could have so much strength, or that I've always wanted to hold on to her hand, but either way, I found myself running beside her, all the frustration and dread a thousand miles behind me._

_We kept running until we reached the cherry blossom tree in the gardens where we fell to the ground, exhausted and trying to catch our breath. It was then that I realised that I was still holding on to her hand. This was the first time that I've ever touched her skin. The last time I could barely feel her warmth through the dressing on my palm. It was just as soft, no, softer, than I had imagined. She had her back to me; her hair had come undone, falling down her back. All of a sudden, I saw that she was shaking._

_Oh no._

_I've made her cry. Again._

"_Lady Xiao Qiao…" I began, although not knowing what to say. She had every right to be angry at me, after what had just happened. My free hand reached forward and rested on her shoulder, which was still shaking violently._

"_Hee hee hee!"_

_What the? Laughter?_

"_Oh my gosh did you see her face? She is absolutely seething with rage! She looks like she is about to murder someone. Me!" She squealed happily._

_My jaw dropped._

_The Lady Xiao Qiao was shaking…from laughter. She turned to face me, tears in her eyes. Seeing my expression, she doubled back into laughter, crouching forward and one hand cradling her stomach, the other pointing at my face. "That is the funniest expression I have ever seen! I'm laughing so hard my stomach hurts!"_

_Fighting the urge to pinch myself to see if I am dreaming, I watched as her laughter subsided and her breathing slowly returned to an even pace._

_I must be dreaming._

_This was the Lady Xiao Qiao, who I can count how many words we have exchanged. The same Lady Xiao Qiao who attacked me with her hair pin. This was the girl that plagued my mind as I was hundreds of miles away from her._

_I could never have imagined just how dazzling she looked as she laughed. Although she didn't exactly suit the touch of melancholy that amplified her beauty, her expression as she laughed really blew me away._

_She gave me a quizzical look at my speechlessness and I wondered if my mouth was still left hanging open. "But it is your fault, you know. You shouldn't have led her on in the first place!"_

_My insides dropped. She saw it? But how could she still stand to be with me? I cringe when I think back to what could have happened…what nearly happened…what sort of happened. Misunderstanding my puzzled look, she giggled slightly. "You so did! You looked like you were going to have her for supper!"_

_I paled. Okay, she saw everything…now I must salvage what is left of my dignity and really make it up to her._

"_Now then," She spoke in a more serious tone, though her eyes still had the mischievous twinkle, "I guess I did save you so that was my repayment for your lantern. We're even." She took her hand back from my grasp and stood up, brushing the dirt off her dress. "I wish you a pleasant evening, Lord Zhou Yu." _

_She turned to walk away, wafting the familiar honey and jasmine scent that I have missed so much in our time apart. Without thinking, I grabbed her hand again, marvelling at how my fingers moulded over hers perfectly, like jigsaw pieces._

_. . . _

_**Xiao Qiao's Perspective**_

_My heart is thundering in my chest and I could feel the blood rushing to my cheeks. Warmth started to spread throughout my body from his touch. As the adrenaline and rage from watching Lady No Morals in his arms, his lips moving down her thin neck started to wear off, I could start to think clearly._

_Oh no…_

_What have I done?_

_I had grabbed his hand and dragged him here. I was laughing, crying even. I had even laughed 'at' him. I had said all those boorish things. I was no better than a sailor down at the wharfs. I could just imagine Da's incredulous face if I told her that I had just announced that he was spending the night with me…_

_No wonder he looked so surprised. He must be very disappointed. He has been surrounded by elegant, graceful women all his life; this must be the first time that someone dared to act so unchaste in front of him. I longed to run from him, to stop him seeing the real me, the Xiao Qiao I have tried so hard to get rid of, the Xiao Qiao that was nothing but disappointing. But I could not shake my hand from his grasp, my body longing to feel his touch._

"_Lady Xiao Qiao…?" He began and my heart started to sink._

_Here comes the lecture of despise. He will tell me in his own words just how much I do not deserve him. I took a deep breath, bracing myself, but not having the courage to turn around and face what I have done._

"_Lady Xiao Qiao…I can't even begin to tell you how much I have missed you."_

_I swung around, gobsmacked. Did he just say that? Did he just say that he 'missed' me? Can't be, I must have mistaken 'missed' with 'been repulsed by'. Easy mistake though; I could hardly hear his soft voice through the sound of my heart beating._

_He gave a small chuckle at my expression, his features slowly turning serious. "During the campaign, I have had some time to think, and I think I could finally put it into words. It would mean the world to me if you could listen." _

_My mind started to race at a speed that could match my frantically beating heart. Still stunned by his words, I nodded my head and plopped onto the petal covered grass next to him, eager and fearful. What did he want to say to me? We didn't exactly part on nice terms…and it was entirely my fault. I sneaked a peek at him without turning my head. He looked as uncomfortable as I did, staring at his interlocked fingers. I chewed on my lip, wondering how I was going to make it through tonight if he declares that he no longer wants anything to do with me._

'_No, don't think about that, Xiao.' I scolded myself. 'We will be just fine, with Da by our side.'_

_Taking another breath and counting to ten in my head, I turned to look at him, my expression blanketing out my internal turmoil._

"_Lady Xiao Qiao, for the past twenty four years, I feel as if I have 'existed', and not yet 'lived' my life." He spoke, reliving his memories, his eyes staring into the distance. "The empty sky resembles me, actually: so detached, so lost. Every day it feels as if I don't have a destination, but I keep moving ahead, just to leave myself behind. Everything I see: this city of rubble, the mindless inhabitants, they just 'exist' to connect the dots and lines to create nothing but meaningless things."_

_His eyes were so sad, so entrancing, that I found myself grasping his cold hand tightly. He did not seem to notice as he continued to speak as if the flood gates were opened, as if this was the first time he revealed his inner secrets. Although his words were so sorrowful, it was truly a memorable experience. He had opened the door to his heart, hidden all this time, and allowed me to see the world through his eyes. Despite his melancholic tale, I felt a twinge of an odd sense of delight at the thought that I was the only one who knew his secrets._

"_The only wish I've had was to be defeated honourably and fall apart beautifully. Every battle, I feel as though the dream of death that I yearn for drifts closer yet when I find myself riding back under the banner of victory, I would be glad…glad that I could spend another moment with Ce, my godfathers, my 'family'. Living is indeed like drinking from a cup of poison: this fleeting game of death is endless, it is so close yet so far away."_

_His expression was so heart-breaking that both my hands had absentmindedly cradled his face, hoping that I could banish the demons that tormented him. I know the pain very well. We were truly the same. I thought back to all the times I nearly gave up on everything, to just not wake up. How easy would it have been to just take my life? But I would always think about Da. I just can't bear living in a world where she did not exist, and where I couldn't ensure that she has a good future. He turned and smiled at me, the same empty smile I saw in the hallway but I could see some warmth hidden in his eyes._

"_But then I found my reason to live, the reason the sun rises in the sky, the reason the moon shines so brightly. I found her."_

_He suddenly looked as if he was reborn, his eyes radiating his joy. I've never seen him like that before. There wasn't any traces of the melancholy, the desolation I have grown accustomed to in his dark eyes. They almost shone with his emotions. I felt as if I was swallowed up completely. Jealousy and relief wrangled inside my mind._

_Someone had set him free, shown him how to smile…_

_He no longer needs a good deed to repay his sins, to expel the demons that plagued him…_

_He no longer needs the comfort my happiness could give him…._

_He no longer needed me._

_But I cannot let my hurt spoil his joy. I needed to show him that I was truly happy for him, for his newly found happiness. Perhaps we could still be…friends? Perhaps I could still be a part of his world? Swallowing the wave of tears, I spoke as if my insides weren't on fire. _

"_This person…s-she must be very important to you…" I stated lamely, the words tumbling out of my mouth, my mind too distracted in containing my tears.  
_

_He smiled an infectious smile, the sight of his happiness like a knife to my heart._

_"She is my world, my everything."  
_

_That felt like the final nail in the coffin. I have never been so mistaken. I was not the wonder that he wanted an answer to. I was not the one whom the lantern was for. I was not his rose without a thorn. Without seeing my pain, he continued, his words driving me deeper in to oblivion. I was only vaguely aware of what he was saying, my mind drifting away from the absolute bliss created by his lantern not so long ago. _

"_She is like a riddle; so intriguing, so fascinating. Her every glance, her every word keeps me up at night as I try to unravel the layers of meaning, hoping to find anything that suggested that she felt the same. Her beauty is unmatched by her grace; her wit, her personality is incomparable. She is perfect in every way."_

_His words were starting to make sense to me, like scattered pieces of a puzzle._

_Beauty?_

_Grace?_

_Incomparable wit and personality?_

_Carefully I pieced the clues together, my soul feeling as if it too has abandoned me._

_Only one person fit that description perfectly._

_I was shaken to the core._

"_No…" I breathed, turning from him, knocking my lantern over._

"_Lady Xiao Qiao…?" He was horrified at my expression; his hands hovered above me, too afraid to touch me. _

"_I…I can't believe you…" I mumbled, my fingers threaded through my hair, my mind willing myself to wake from this nightmare._

"_Lady Xiao Qiao…" He tried again, his hands on my arms, his eyes overflowing with hurt. I slapped his hands away impatiently._

_Suddenly my head snapped up to look at him, my eyes trying to damn him into the pits of hell._

"_You stupid twit!" I fumed, "How could you? Da is in love with Ce! The whole kingdom knows this you ignorant plank of wood!" I slammed my hand against his chest, my mind intent on beating him to death. "Why are you telling me this? So that I could help you win Da? You are a horrible sworn brother! I can't wait to tell Lord Sun Ce to have you sliced, diced and quartered, you heartless fool!" _

_Forgetting all grace, forgetting all dignity, I found that I was yelling at him like a farmer's wife, my voice reaching pitches that I have never heard of before._

_I saw his bemused face for a split second before he burst out laughing, both his hands held me tightly by my wrists, preventing my blows. I've never seen him laugh before, it left me completely flabbergasted, my cheeks still red hot from my temper. _

"_Ha ha ha! Oh my Lady Xiao Qiao, you are amazing, did you know that?" He managed to squeeze out between laughs._

_That stopped my assault short. This was the second time someone had called me 'amazing' tonight. But this time it got a completely different reaction out of me. It felt strangely satisfying, coming from his lips. I felt my cheeks redden, not from rage but from…pleasure. _

_No, I mustn't show him my forgiveness._

"_Don't think you can get what you want through sweet talking!" I snapped, my eyes narrowing, my hands slapping his hold off me. "I'm still not helping you. You and your morals can burn in hell."_

_He shook his head in disbelief, his lips pulling up to another laugh at my crude tone. "Burn in hell? I'm surprised, my Lady. Since when did you speak like a sailor?" _

"_Since I found out that you have as much morals as a filthy rag that I wouldn't even use to clean Tong's dirty boots."_

"_With a sharp tongue like that you would feel right at home with our front line infantry! You are a wonder, indeed, my Lady."_

_I could feel my nostrils flare at his joking tone. He'll learn to take me seriously!_

_Getting up, I deliberately swept my dress in a dignified manner that Da would have been so proud of._

"_I am going now. I do not consort with the likes of you, my Lord." I sneered._

_But he held me still, and I could not figure out why I did not push him away._

"_My apologies, Lady Xiao Qiao, I have taken our joke too far." _

_He waited for my response, and I gave him none. I did give him a big shove though, at the same time wondering whether or not I should follow that up with an uppercut, and knocked his hold off me again with unnecessary force._

"_Although I respect your sister dearly, I am not so stupid as to cross that line. Trust me. Ce would not need telling twice to get me, what was it, 'sliced, diced and quartered.'" He broke into his laughing fit again._

_I tilted my head sideways, trying to find an excuse to believe in his words. Well if it wasn't Da…can't be Shang could it? Well…marginally plausible, I guess. Nothing against Shang but let's just say 'grace' was not a term that I would put in the same sentence as her name. _

_Wit, yes. _

_Personality, definitely._

_Grace…well, I guess a very very loose interpretation may be barely acceptable._

"_You know," I raised my eyebrow, not sure how to tell him the truth without crushing his feelings. "I think Shang Xiang is in love with Lu Xun, you know, your student." _

_Okay, on retrospective look maybe I didn't bring him down as lightly as I should have, but I really wasn't in the mood._

_He gave the most uncharacteristic snort as he doubled back into laughter again, his fists banging on the ground. I was slightly distracted by his response, my image of the stone cold strategist dissolving. He remained like that for a while as I tried to imprint the sound of his laughter into my mind, desperate to take a hold of everything that was…him._

_Fluidly, his slender fingers wrapped around my wrists again, as he tucked his hands behind his back, pulling my whole body with him. I closed my eyes as I felt my head collide softly against his chest, his sweet voice dangerously close to my ears. I have never been so close to him before. He had the most appealing scent, like freshly grounded cinnamon and vanilla. I felt my head snuggle closer to his chest on their own, my heart thumping erratically in my chest._

"_My outrageously silly Lady Xiao Qiao, I seriously wonder how I was able to live through twenty four years, twenty four dull years, without you by my side. I guess my hints were not clear enough, let me try again."_

_Gently he released my wrists, but I found myself moulded to him, unable and unwilling to let go. He stroked my hair, from my head down my back. "She is as endearing as the playful butterflies in the flower garden, as adorable as a morning glory in the rising sun." I felt his nose and lips move down my neck line, and I tried to stay perfectly still as unfamiliar but very welcoming emotions flurried inside me. "She is more dazzling than the breaking dawn, the one for whom my hopes are reborn."_

_He pulled back slightly, his fingers on my chin, tilting my head up to meet his eyes._

"_Lady Xiao Qiao, you are my beautiful rose without a thorn." _

* * *

_**Da duh dum**_


End file.
